Your most recent "Oh... SHIT" moment

[Timotei]

Probably my last moment was when my friend had to hole up in my house for a night a few weeks ago.

It was some time in the wee hours of the morning and my boyfriend and I were about to call it a night when we hear the doorbell ring. So I put something on and head downstairs and open the door to find it was my friend Richard on the porch with a ripped up shirt, soaked to the bone.

Spoiler: If you want the full story

Apparently his father had been laid off from work that day and decided to spend the day at the bar, then came home just as everyone was getting ready for dinner and started making an ass out of himself. Richard stood up to him and told him to go upstairs, wash up, then go to bed. His father didn't take to kindly to it and forcefully tossed him out the door, locked it behind him, and gave him 30 seconds to leave before he would call the police. The neighbors wouldn't take him in either as they didn't want to become targets in this. So without a cellphone, money, a car, or anything else, he sets out to try and find the only person he knows isn't hostile or fervently neutral in this situation. Me.

Richard has no idea where I live, though he is armed only with the knowledge that I live within a 2 mile radius of his house. He decides that he is going to go up and down every street and knock on every door to try and find my house, in the freezing, pouring rain. This goes on for about 7 or 8 hours until by luck he happens to stumble upon my house, tired, cold, and hungry (as he hadn't had lunch that day and dinner was disrupted before it began).

After making him some dinner I tell him to go wash up while I unlock the guest room and get it ready and fetch him some fresh clothes. That morning I wake up early to make breakfast.

Richard was damn lucky that my parents were off in Davis till the next day. Had my father answered the door he would have told him that nobody by the name of Susan lived in that house.

Holy shit. That guy's dad is a fucking asshole. Also, what the fuck did his mum do? Just look out the window and say "Bit nippy."?!

His father is actually a very kind and generous person (so says richard), it's just his father had been employed at a law firm he loved working at for over 20-30 years and just didn't know how to handle the grief of it that night.


And as for the mother, I think she didn't want to do anything that would bring any more attention to Richard and just hoped he would find a place.

 

[Video Gone]

Hey there y'all, I just had a rather... Well, let's be blunt, an "Oh... Shit" moment not 10 minutes ago and was wondering if anyone else had any of their own recently.

For those wondering, I had just finished up in the bathroom, and... Well, let's just say there was blood coming out of... a place it shouldn't ever come out of. I will not elaborate on this any further, if you can't put two and two together, your loss. [small]Or not, some of you might be better off not knowing what I'm talking about, but I digress...[/small]

Needless to say, I muttered a little, "Oh... Shit", and now my lower intestine feels very wierd. Too bad I won't be able to do anything about it until morning, eh?

Well my fellow Escapians, pray tell of your most recent "Oh Shit!" moment, and any others you may have expeirenced lately, so that I may distract myself from the uncomfortable feeling in my gut.

When I read your post, I doubled over, not laughing, but with the sheer force of disgust and confusion. Also, I hope the person from this here quote was being sarcastic.

Meh, if the blood is bright red it's probably just a tear. Drink more water and eat more fiber and you should be fine. The darker it is, though, the deeper the problem is.

 

[Roscoe_A]

My most resent one happened about a month ago... When I came home from school my front door was unlocked (I'm normally the first one home everyday). So i figured my dad had come home and then got called into work, happens all the time.

Well as I'm walking into my house I hear someone say, "This is just like the last time all the game cases are empty."

So it turned out that my house was broken into by two little bastards (Who have been caught). But that was one of those HOLY SHIT moments I guess...same thing

Holy shit. Did they run, or did you use your Super Saiyan powers to kick their asses right through the wall?
Also, why were your game cases empty?

Yeah they ran like hell on earth. They were my brothers cases because he goes to school out of town so he puts all his games in a binder so he doesn't have to lug all the cases around.

 

[Queen Michael]

I realized I missed out on a great nail polish sale. Luckily, I then realized it wasn't over yet.

 

[AdambotLive]

Sneaking on the laptop

1:30 in the morning:

Mum: ADAM ARE YOU STILL UP?
Me: Ohh...
Mum: YOU'RE STILL ON YOUR LAPTOP? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO COME OFF TWO HOURS AGO!
Me: SHIT.

 

[dsmops2003]

Playing Diablo 2 on Hardcore mode, had to get up and change a diaper, popped a town portal and I guess I forgot to go in. When I came back I lost my level 55 paladin. "Your deeds of valor will be remembered"

 

[combat90]

I recently asked my friend how her friend was doing, and she told me he was dead, but i didnt believe her, so i joked about it, then she got really serious and angry and i realized she wasnt kidding...

 

[Andalusa]

Biology tutor: "Your Biology exam is next Tuesday."
Me: "Oh... shit."

Then I got told off for swearing, because that is literally what I said. Very loudly.

 

[Flos]

When I read your post, I doubled over, not laughing, but with the sheer force of disgust and confusion. Also, I hope the person from this here quote was being sarcastic.

Meh, if the blood is bright red it's probably just a tear. Drink more water and eat more fiber and you should be fine. The darker it is, though, the deeper the problem is.

I'm assuming he's bleeding out the ass? Well, the brighter the blood is when blood does come out of there, the closer to the surface it is. Blood in the stool that's black can mean gastric cancer. Dark red can mean colitis. Bright red is the least harmful of all of them.

Unless, of course, the person was referring to a part of a female's reproductive cycle and I misunderstood the post. I can't imagine why one would be so vague about that, though.

Also, you might lack reading comprehension if you actually thought I was being sarcastic.

 

[thebobmaster_v1legacy]

Failed my driving test

So did I, the first time. Don't worry about it.

 

[D-Cypher]

Trying to cycle up a pedestrian subway ramp covered in ice. I swear to god I was peddling with the kind of momentum the space shuttle uses to break free of the earths gravitational pull and I still ended up going backwards, then sideways, then back down.... at 6:15am, cold and tired.

 

[Video Gone]

When I read your post, I doubled over, not laughing, but with the sheer force of disgust and confusion. Also, I hope the person from this here quote was being sarcastic.

Meh, if the blood is bright red it's probably just a tear. Drink more water and eat more fiber and you should be fine. The darker it is, though, the deeper the problem is.

I'm assuming he's bleeding out the ass? Well, the brighter the blood is when blood does come out of there, the closer to the surface it is. Blood in the stool that's black can mean gastric cancer. Dark red can mean colitis. Bright red is the least harmful of all of them.

Unless, of course, the person was referring to a part of a female's reproductive cycle and I misunderstood the post. I can't imagine why one would be so vague about that, though.

Also, you might lack reading comprehension if you actually thought I was being sarcastic.

No, I read that fine. It's just I understood that he was bleeding out of somewhere... else. Also, the person's a guy, so I think the second explanation is highly unlikely.

 

[Video Gone]

I thought I was bleeding from my eye, turned out in was just wet from washing my face and that the blood was from my nose.

Thank Sweet Fancy Moses for that. If you were bleeding from your eyes, a stereotypical hero would have to come kill you on your island. Which at first glance is deserted but hides evil posessed residents.

If no-one guesses that reference... ugh.

 

[falcontwin]

Most recent oh shit moment?, I drag race motorcycles and at the last event I kept on the trottle probably 50 meters past the finish line, I won the race but it left me little room for braking trying to slow down from 270 kmh (160ish mph) in less than 200 meters there was a moment where I thought "Oh fuck I'm going into the fence and it's gonna hurt bad" I managed to pull it up but I had to peel myself off the seat at the end, not a fun feeling.

 

[BGH122]

Mine's actually quite comical in retrospect:

So, a couple of decades ago some friends and I were down the local pub and this gorgeous girl comes in, I mean, she was stacked in every which way, tall, voluptuous with flowing golden hair like some sort of sumptuous silk. So anyway, she walks up to the bar and asks for a pint of bitter and my friends and I had this running joke that whenever anyone asked for this specific brand of bitter we'd all cheer, stupid I know, but when we heard the order we all began cheering and she looked baffled. When she got her pint she came over to us to ask what it was all about and we chatted for a bit, well, she chatted to my friends and I just awkwardly watched the hazy gleam from her ruby lips and the sparkling aura of her deep blue eyes. So when she got up to leave we all stood up, acting gentlemanly in the hope that showing unnecessary archaic courtesy might suddenly make her rip her dress off and straddle us. Unfortunately, I hadn't realised (I'd been too busy watching her), my trouser truncheon was engorged like a fierce, proud warrior standing to attention. It was like someone had shoved a cucumber down there. I saw her look, then I looked, then I looked at her and went very red. But, she giggled and my friends started laughing and I laughed a bit and the tension just flowed out of me, but then the strangest feeling took over me; I felt hot, like my clothes were alight and vision started to blotch with white flashes then I sort of lost consciousness.

Anyway, when I came to, I was naked and gore was dripping from the end of my still erect impaler. I mean it was just a mess, the pretty girl was pretty clearly dead with a lot of strange, lumpy penis-shaped contusions all over her broken face. My friends were all watching horrified, Horace the barman was on the phone to police and it was all just a massive faux pas on my part. So I spent a little while in the slammer, they informed me that I'd suddenly let out a roar and beaten her to death with my genitals, but I guess it taught me to always think before standing up!

 

[Nillz]

Its not very epic, but I woke up later than I wanted to this morning.

 

[erbkaiser]

This morning. I get up out of bed, step into something warm and mushy with my right foot.

Cat had puked.

 

[waterhazard]

My best friends girlfriend wants to dump him to ask me out. Oh shit!

DO IT

 

[maninahat]

Some girl asked me out. One I wasn't interested in - this was far more awkward than it sounds because there was a huge guilt element behind the whole thing, partly because she would go into extremely personal and graphic detail about her "alternate lifestyle" to try and win my trust, and partly because she was blind (and using it as an excuse to hold my hand/stay close to me at all times).