Your "One does not simply..." moments in videogames.

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SonOfVoorhees

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Aug 3, 2011
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Skoldpadda said:
"One does not simply buy only one Xbox360". (mine just died again today, :( coffee after the funeral)
Died again? I still have my original one i bought day one. I also read some people saying they are on there 7th, but to behonest if the 2nd one broke screw that. :) I guess there production line is very picky. Hopefully the new one will be better.....although i bet it will be made in the same damn factory in China. lol
 

nightingale

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Nov 10, 2012
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One does not simply skip available dialogue, even if (s)he's heard it before.

One does not simply refuse a companion's loyalty mission.
 

Lunar Templar

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Sep 20, 2009
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one does not simply; leave witnesses (genocide is the only answer in every level of every game ever :D)

one does not simply; leave 'stones unturned' (get your ass back there and check that corner! it might have goodies :D)

one does not simply; 'run away' from any monster five times bigger then you and has a suggested party min of 6 to kill (sack up and learn to solo shit junior -.-)
 

Ix Rebound

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Jan 10, 2012
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mattttherman3 said:
One does not simply catch Charles Lee on the first try

Seriously, fuck that segment
jesus christ that bit took my over a dozen tries cause i didn't notice that fucking hole in the wall
who would have thought that you have to jump through a ring of fire instead of jumping through the (relatively) safe ship
 

Ix Rebound

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Jan 10, 2012
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one does not simply join the good team in any online shooter

one does not simply join an online game and have their team winning

one does not simply have the higher leveled players on their team

one does not simply have a good pilot in Battlefield 3

one does not simply pull of the same bullshit move that someone else just used to kill you

one does not simply get a fatality right on their first try

one does not simply get a kill before they die on their first try of an online game
 

C4tt4nn4

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Oct 26, 2012
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One does not simply play one mission in xcom.
one does not simply pick only one thing up in TES
 

kortin

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Mar 18, 2011
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Silvanus said:
One does not simply open a Mann Co. Supply Crate. [http://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/Mann_Co._Supply_Crate_Key]
I do all the time. Why? Because I don't believe in using keys as currency. That's just bullshit.
I utterly despise the TF2 economy.


One does not simply ever kill Ornstein and Smough without Sunbros.
 

Silvanus

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Jan 15, 2013
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kortin said:
I do all the time. Why? Because I don't believe in using keys as currency. That's just bullshit.
I utterly despise the TF2 economy.
Oh, I agree there. I didn't mean that the keys are better used in trading-- I just meant it's infuriating to receive a crate you can't open, especially for the first time, when you naively think they wouldn't try to push you into spending real money like that.
 

kortin

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Mar 18, 2011
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Silvanus said:
kortin said:
I do all the time. Why? Because I don't believe in using keys as currency. That's just bullshit.
I utterly despise the TF2 economy.
Oh, I agree there. I didn't mean that the keys are better used in trading-- I just meant it's infuriating to receive a crate you can't open, especially for the first time, when you naively think they wouldn't try to push you into spending real money like that.
Oh, my bad, I see what you mean.
 

Grivahri

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Mar 26, 2012
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Skoldpadda said:
"One does not simply buy only one Xbox360". (mine just died again today, :( coffee after the funeral)
I have had the same 360 elite since 2009, where is my price?
 

MrPhyntch

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Nov 4, 2009
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From LoL: One does not simply gank Kayle.

I actually call this one out in-game after the enemy fails to gank me. My Kayle build can 1v1 pretty much any champion in the game (so long as they're not indcredifed) after level 10 or so. It's funny how many people love to impale themselves on my sword.

I've also started a "one does not simply chase Thresh" recently, because rarely does anyone survive that when I'm Thresh.

Otherwise:

One does not simply beat a level in Fire Emblem on the first try.

One does not simply play online with Steam running (DOTA2 and TF2 ALWAYS update when I do)

One does not simply use the Wii (between uses there's usually a power surge that takes it out, requiring a 10 minute or so reset before I can use it)
 

Smeggs

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Oct 21, 2008
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One does not simply assassinate the Elite by jumping off the cliff on the first try.

One does not simply melee a tiger to death in Far Cry 3.

One does not simply run up in front of an Elder Dragon and not get insta-killed by its bite animation.

One does not simply get killed without first jumping backward and throwing a frag grenade near you in hopes of killing your attacker.

One does not simply play Dishonored without reloading every five seconds after being spotted.
 

Yojimzo

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Jul 3, 2012
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One does not simply facecheck the brush, when Garen's in the game.
One does not simply get the rare drop they need before thier run number is in the double digits.
ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY BUMP THIS THREAD IN ALL CAPS!