Your usefulness in the coming apocalypse...

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Kurokami

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Feb 23, 2009
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Technocrat said:
Congratulations! The apocalypse has happened. We're unsure of the means, but from what we can tell, it looks like a mixture of Asia going to nuclear war, Mt St Helens erupting, the polar ice caps suddenly spreading to cover a quarter of the world, wrath of the Greek and Norse gods at the same time, and AIDS. Gee, what are the chances?

Anyhow, you're part of the lucky 10% or so who've survived the disaster. Unfortunately, supplies are scarce, and you're going to have to prove just how useful you are to the post-apocalypse community. What skills/possessions do you have to help humanity get along?

Myself, I'm a woodworker for fun. Granted, I mostly build benches and clocks, but the same theories/buzzy cutty implements can be applied for building houses and useful things. I'm also a sailor, if anyone with fishing skills wants to join me on my boat to go catching two-headed fish, mermaids, or whatever this apocalypse has given us. Plus, I've dabbled in making clothes, but once again, maybe not in keeping with the whole theme - latex/leather fetish clothing, etc.

Possession-wise, I have a big box of rockets upstairs. You never know when you need rockets, whether it's signalling people, or teasing the mutant dogs (I think that's what they were?) roaming the neighbourhood.
Honestly? I see myself manipulating the hell out of people, I'm not much good at anything other than talk/reasoning, so... Meh.

Oh, and manual labour... And possibly repopulating the earth.
 

AngloDoom

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Aug 2, 2008
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I can write pretty damn well, and I can climb pretty damn well.

Unless some of the other 10% that survived were tree-top rainforest creatures with lots of resources, willing to trade for a well-crafted letter of complaint, I'm pretty darn useless.
 

AfroTree

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Feb 21, 2010
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NeedAUserName said:
OakTaooper said:
I can fish. I was raised in the country, so I learned survival skills at a young age. Tracking, growing, fishing, finding food, identifying plants, and most importantly, building fire for your rockets.
In a nuclear war almost all those skills are gonna count for shit.
not really..

tracking is going to be pretty good

you don't want to be wondering around and BAM zombie in your face O_O

um..

im a good pack-mule?
 

gl1koz3

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May 24, 2010
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Can do music to cheer people up.

Also, would immediately look for ways to get electricity going and salvage any tech possible. An IT student doing master's, after all.

Some of it would be fried because of EMP, but, anyway.
 

II2

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Mar 13, 2010
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Isn't usefulness in the face of apocalypse the very definition of a Pyrrhic victory?
 

Keava

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Mar 1, 2010
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Well i'd obviously be the Queen of the new generation of human and i would rule them and lead them to a Golden Age. I also can craft and shoot bows, know basics of blacksmithing, sewing, woodworking, im pretty good with electronics so i can always fix some still working stuff with several workarounds and most importantly i know how to make home brew booze.
 

Brutal Peanut

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Oct 15, 2010
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My husband was a rancher in No-where, Montana and has been around guns and knives since he was small, and knows basic survival skills. Also knows how to hunt as well as how to butcher and bleed the animal and break wild horses and train them to work (depending on what you want them to do). He even knows some 'leather working', if you want to call it that. Myself? I'm a good cook (make a pretty good jerky too).I can sew alright. My singing isn't bad and I know a few Irish Folk Songs. That's about all I can do. My husband trumps me in apocalypse survival skills. That jerk. XD
 

Technocrat

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Nov 19, 2008
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Day 36: The apocalypse has been and gone for over a month now, and finally we're starting to regain some sense. So far, we've managed to build a small community of like-minded survivors that we've been able to find, with some pretty useful skills. Let's see how they pan out.

Day 102: Many of the supplies from the before time have begun to run out, and our community has been able to start meaningful trade with other survivor groups scattered throughout the region. Thanks to our expertise, our main exports at the the moment are booze and clothing, but we've also been able to rustle up some soap, candles and ammunition. With 27 firearm users in the camp, we're the cleanest leather-clad gun-nuts in the region.

Day 150: We were having great success with the plants and animals that 21 of us had been cultivating, but then a Jotun came along and stole it all. As a result, we're going to have to call upon our "human resources" this winter. We've got 16 suitable candidates - anyone up for some Billy con carne? Steak and Sidney pie? Alex tart?

Day 213: The 14 of us with an engineering bent have finally erected the last part of the wall. Now the bandits, Jotun, two headed dogs, and those weird upside-down cars with legs can't get in at us, or the long-house we threw up. Lots of nice pine furniture in there, too.

Day 250: The 7 people assigned to repopulating the planet have thus far come up with zilch. Do I have to get the 10 people with a grasp of medicine to explain it to them? Maybe

Day 251: There was a bit of an argument between the 12 people who all felt they possessed leadership qualities. Not to worry, I got the 7 with a desire to maim/kill things to rough them up a bit.

Day 314: Despite our best efforts to make our new home here, the 5 trackers sent to scout have grave news. -The enemy- are on their way, with their army. We'll have to move out and try to stay ahead of them. Hopefully, the 14 of us with some knowledge of esoteric means of transport can keep us going. The 17 heavy lifters are really going to come into their own. That radio that the 7 ICT and physicists got working has been telling us of a safe haven to the East...I hope we can make it there before disaster consumes us all....
 

TheRightToArmBears

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Dec 13, 2008
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Well, I can't really see playing a guitar or a bass, riding a bike, being annoying or a degree in earth sciences being very useful in the apocalypse.

So I guess I know quite a lot of first aid and woodcrafty stuff (Scouts ftw, back in the day), and I'm pretty strong, so I could be useful, if I can be arsed to get up.
 

Quaxar

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Sep 21, 2009
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Well, I'm a decent climber. And I know how to build and reassemble stuff. And I can act out several Futurama episodes for those boring evenings.

Oh, and I'm a paramedic so if you don't want me in your group... I'm going to just ask these guys over there if they want someone to treat their wounds and stuff, aye?
 

TWRule

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Dec 3, 2010
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II2 said:
Isn't usefulness in the face of apocalypse the very definition of a Pyrrhic victory?
Nah, a Pyrrhic victory would be like winning a war by bringing about nuclear apocalypse in the first place. Being useful is only improving upon the situation, not winning at some great cost.

Anyway, I'd probably act as a diplomatic leader who would attempt to unify the scattered groups of survivors as well as guide important (non-military) decision-making. I could also act as a tutor/mentor for the younger survivors who would otherwise be cheated out of an education, and later help establish a new education system once civilization begins to grow again.
 

Housebroken Lunatic

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Sep 12, 2009
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Technocrat said:
Anyhow, you're part of the lucky 10% or so who've survived the disaster.
Of course I am. :)

Technocrat said:
Unfortunately, supplies are scarce, and you're going to have to prove just how useful you are to the post-apocalypse community. What skills/possessions do you have to help humanity get along?
Im the guy preventing the bullets of my gun from hitting other people in the head for refusing me the supplies I need. I think that makes me pretty useful, since bullets to the head I hear is somewhat bad for your health. :)
 

Housebroken Lunatic

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Sep 12, 2009
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Brutal Peanut said:
My husband was a rancher in No-where, Montana and has been around guns and knives since he was small, and knows basic survival skills. Also knows how to hunt as well as how to butcher and bleed the animal and break wild horses and train them to work (depending on what you want them to do). He even knows some 'leather working', if you want to call it that. Myself? I'm a good cook (make a pretty good jerky too).I can sew alright. My singing isn't bad and I know a few Irish Folk Songs. That's about all I can do. My husband trumps me in apocalypse survival skills. That jerk. XD
Well hopefully you've got the "boo-tay" which brings about some extra motivation for your husband to put those survival skills to practice, right? :p
 

Riddle78

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Jan 19, 2010
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Are you sure it wasn't the Combine inflaming any existing conflict?

OT: I'd be overall useless.