You're an NPC with only one line of dialogue

[Blayze]

"Help me, I'm glued to the floor."

Or possibly...

"Guess what? I know where to find the best gear ever in this game. Oh wait, my single piece of dialogue is just about over n-"

 

[SimplyTheWest]

"I....Cannot....Blink....Help....Me".

 

[Crowghast]

"Hey, soldier? Feelin' down in the dumps? Got the blues? Well a little caffeine oughtta cheer you right up!"

That, or:

"Hey guys! I got a nice, warm cup of- GET DOWN ON THE GROUND!"

And then I am blown into a three, separate, shattered pieces when a mortar shell ruptures my head.

 

[Flying-Emu]

Got some rare things on sale stranger what 're ya sellin?

that just struck me who finds this one out gets a cookie!

Resident Evil IV, the shopkeeper dude.

"I am Error. Please contact support for bug assistance."

 

[Yorgmiester]

"Congratulations! You've unlocked"

 

[BlackPhoenix0928]

The crocodiles...are ferocious! sounds ok but I have a better one.

I would be an army file guy in a warring country and you would meet me while you are having second thoughts about joining up...

"Look, joining the army does not mean you are dead! I have been in service for 5 years and the closest I have had to come to a bullet was...(at this point machine guns sound off and a mortar shell blows me into pieces. You get knocked away and wake up in a hopital minus one leg! You then get a bionic leg and are forced into the war. IT WOULD NOT BE WORLD WAR ANYTHING! IT WOULD ONLY BE 3 COUNTRIES THAT HATE EACH OTHER)"

 

[Vrud]

I've got 600GP in my pants.

 

[BlackPhoenix0928]

I'll give you a sugar cookie if you tell me in what game a there is a soldier who says "The crocodiles...are ferocious!"

 

[Durahan2]

Part of me wants to pick something chiche like "Giant enemy crab!" or "Pool's closed" but I realized....that would be cliche

I guess my character would just
". . . *pelvic thrusts against you*" XD

 

[zauxz]

candy... in my van....

 

[Draco Ardel]

"If it weren't for my horse, I would have never spent that year in college."

 

[LeonLethality]

"I still can't find that sexual inuendo I was going to use in this line."

 

[ThreeWords]

if you hold a while talking to me, for 72 hours straight, you may unlock a new line of dialogue. terms and conditions apply

edit: (probably done already, but hey)
Your health is low! Do you have any potions, or food?

 

[RagnorakTres]

Repent, sinners! The end is near! My invisible kangaroo friend told me so! (breaks into a Billy Joel song)

 

[MeatSpace]

There is no achievement for killing me.

(Survival guaranteed!)

 

[Rassan]

Interactive with me again and your life will be a hell hole.

*Attack, or attempt to talk to again makes Rassan fall out of his chair on you. You are stuck.*

 

[Ramthundar]

"Kill me and you'll never see your family again!"

Player shoots me.

"Why do I always say that to the abused-heroes. WHY?!"