Zero Punctuation and Final Fantasy XIII

[Nomanslander]

I doubt he will review it....

Oh he'll review it alright, just to slander the game.

Which honestly I find pointless, it's like having a 12 year old watch an old black and white movie just so he can tell you he thinks it's boring.

That is a very succinct point

Honestly whether he reviews it or not it won't bother me because (I've said it before and will say it again) 'Unless their opinion affects your opinion, their opinion matters not at all.'!

I wonder if you guys are even aware that you are fanboys...

After all, there are literally no discernible flaws in any JRPG or Final Fantasy game. Why would we possibly think a game that none of us have played has any flaws? After all, it came from Square Enix, and they made Final Fantasy X-2, so we KNOW they only produce quality!

Actually, I haven't liked FF since 10, I just think it's pointless to review a game which you obviously don't like in the first place.

But then again I guess it could be entertaining....I mean that is why anyone watches ZP...=/

 

[MasTerHacK]

I doubt he will review it. But i think if he gave a jrpg a good review the four horsemen would come.

My point exactly!

 

[Tiny116]

I Don't get my copy til tommorow (Gaddamn you amazon!)
And I'm to busy to play it anyway! *SOB*

OT: I think he'll hate it on principle, spend the first half of his review saying how and why he hates all things JRPG then mention the good points with approriate (Or inappropriate depending on your point of view) puns and metaphors

 

[Azrac]

Personally im more looking forward to his heavy rain review. A whole game built around quick time events, if nothing else it should make for a comical review.

Heavy Rain's "gameplay" almost makes me think it was specifically designed to troll Yahtzee.

Oh yes...because the Junction system 8, materia stytem 7 , job system 5, sphere grid 10.

Are just so damn similar. Not all turn based combat is the same, you know.

Just because the surface appearances are different doesn't mean the games are vastly different. The combat sequences all worked the same, the random encounters all worked the same, the tropes were pretty consistently identical from game to game. The character power progression was always the same (gradual increase, hit plot point, start running around to collect epic gear, beat final boss, done). The inventory system never really changed, and I could go on, but I'm sure you get the point. You're basically arguing that if they took a game like Doom or Medal of Honor, or whatever, and kept everything the same except for the guns, that the two games would be entirely different.

I like some FF games. III, IV, and parts of X that don't involve the hammy storyline. I am a JRPG fan who doesn't like the majority of FF games, or Square games in general. Woah

Disgaea: Afternoon of Darkness - Fuck yeah.

Yeah I agree that all the final fantasy games are similar in game play. But well they have to be dont they, its what makes it a final fantasy game. You couldnt make a movie about mermaids and call it a terminator film could you??

Sure you could. You'd be called an idiot, and probably lose money on the deal, but you could do it...

In fact, I can see it know, a cyberpunk re-imagining of The Little Mermaid. Arnold Schwarzenegger is the Terminator, a robotic killing machine who develops feelings for a mermaid princess, and has to deal with his sudden growth of emotions. Also, he has to figure out how to bang her without short circuiting.

On-topic: I avoided all hype about XIII, and it'll pay off when I go to pick it up later today. That being said, Yahzee won't like it. Or rather, what he'll do is he'll shit on the game and maybe throw it a bone or two. Having not played it yet, I can't say what that'll be.

 

[opportunemoment]

If he does review it he'll find plenty to complain about, even if the actual gameplay is fun. (It's still Final Fantasy. I can't imagine he'll like the plot or characters because... he doesn't like Final Fantasy style plot or characters.) I'm expecting to like the game, but I have no problem with him ripping it to shreds - at least when he goes on about how crap FFs/JRPGs are he does it in a creative and amusing fashion unlike everyone else on the internet.

 

[Jenova65]

I Don't get my copy til tommorow (Gaddamn you amazon!)
And I'm to busy to play it anyway! *SOB*

OT: I think he'll hate it on principle, spend the first half of his review saying how and why he hates all things JRPG then mention the good points with approriate (Or inappropriate depending on your point of view) puns and metaphors

They've let me down too (they are on my list now.)

 

[yourbeliefs]

The main way I see him reviewing it is either:

A: He has a few too many drinks at the Mana Bar one night and agrees on a bet to play it all the way through with video footage to collaborate the bet.

B: People get on his ass like they did with SSBB or Borderlands, but I don't see ZP's fan base pushing him to review a game that they feel he won't enjoy from the start.

 

[Jennacide]

He'll hate it, for the same reason I despise it. It is everything wrong with JRPGs these days. Makes me love the Shin Megami Tensei games more, because they are still geniuely interesting and fun. FF10 was good for a JRPG, as it's mellowdrama was actually mostly passable because of how it played out, and FF12 was amazing in my eyes for finally changing the formula and making it fun again. Then they take everything learned from 12 and throw it out the window, along with countless other traditions that didn't need to go.

 

[sirdanrhodes]

No he won't.

Way too many ZP threads lately.

Pretty much this. Anyway, how long would FF take to finish eh? You would wait a while for the review.

 

[Meggiepants]

I doubt he will review it....

Oh he'll review it alright, just to slander the game.

Which honestly I find pointless, it's like having a 12 year old watch an old black and white movie just so he can tell you he thinks it's boring.

That is a very succinct point

Honestly whether he reviews it or not it won't bother me because (I've said it before and will say it again) 'Unless their opinion affects your opinion, their opinion matters not at all.'!

I wonder if you guys are even aware that you are fanboys...

After all, there are literally no discernible flaws in any JRPG or Final Fantasy game. Why would we possibly think a game that none of us have played has any flaws? After all, it came from Square Enix, and they made Final Fantasy X-2, so we KNOW they only produce quality!

I don't exactly get your point here, perhaps it was because you are ladling the sarcasm on a little too thickly?

Is your definition of 'fanboy' someone who buys a game you don't like? Because I don't really see how either of these people are saying FFXIII is flawless, only that having someone who has said repeatedly they loathe JRPGs won't have anything new or interesting to say on the matter.

From my understanding of the use of the word fanboy over the years, a fanboy is a person who makes wild, generally in all caps, assertions about a system, game or product with no proof and often in the face of all logic.

Example:

Me: Man, I am so pissed off. I am on my third 360 now. These systems are sure put together shoddily.

Fanboy: Man, you fell in for all that Sony hype didn't you? That's a rumor. Xbox makes the best product out there and is the most reliable system there is. No other system can beat it. Microsoft RULZ TEH WORLD!

Me: Uh...

 

[LeonLethality]

Nope. He'll hate it on principle...

But for arguments sake, the thing about Final Fantasy is that EVERY GAME IS DIFFERENT.

So, you can't just play one or two and justify hating them all. Even if you are some kind of dedicated anti-Japanese gamer. The series reinvents itself with every entry. New combat system, new leveling system, new characters, new location.

Now, umm...I gotta wait 2 hours to go pick it up.

You're deluding yourself, Final Fantasy didn't even bother to alter it's core gameplay until FF 12.

FF2 Changed the leveling system to be based on how you fight also one of the first story driven console rpgs ever
FF3 Job system
FF4 Active Time Battle introduced much more story driven than the NES FF games now can have up to 5 party members
FF5 Refined job system much more classes and the mechanics of them work differently down to four party members
FF6 Magicite system
FF7 Materia system down to 3 party members
FF8 Junction system
FF9 you learn abilities through the armour you have equipped, back to four party members
FF10 Conditional Turn Based battle system introduced, depending on the action you took would effect how long it would take for your next turn down to 3 party members but they can be freely switched in battle also sphere grid
FF11 MMO many many battle system changes from any other installment
FF12 you build your characters however you wish to build using the liscence board. in the international version you gave them a specific job
FF13 crystallium system and the battle system had very huge changes to make it faster paced.

Nope never changed.

 

[Meggiepants]

No he won't.

Way too many ZP threads lately.

They're just jealous of your threads.

Put ZP or Yahtzee in the title and you'll get at least 1,000 hits. It's like playing a game on easy to get an achievement. No challenge if you ask me.

 

[Ricotez]

Knowing Yahtzee, his review will be less-than-flattering.

 

[Songbird-O]

I was talking on a general level, but yeah... I like how you said "parts of X", because that's pretty much how I would praise its story if I absolutely had to. The writing, voice acting and pacing are for the most part pretty horrible, but sometimes it does things to remind me that there's actually a pretty great plot under all that. Too bad they were pretty thorough about ruining it most of the time.

I'd say VII's plot is pretty good as well, minus the horrible translation and tendency not to explain various important plot points at all.

The world of FFX is absolutely beautiful. The writers of FFX sought to get away from the punk tones that VII and VIII set up, returning the genre to it's fantasy namesake. However, they realized that "Fantasy" doesn't necessarily mean Tolkien sword and sorcery, so they sought to redefine the archetype. They succeeded with flying colors, and created a wonderful, three dimensional world. It is so obvious that FFX was the first FF on the Ps2. They really went nuts with the graphics. Spira was COLORFUL! In later Ps2 Final fantasies, the creators were like "oh Ps2 graphics, we've been there," but FFX was all like "Woah next gen! Let's party!" It was actually atmospheric, which is something that most final fantasy games miss by a mile. Also, the music is unquestionably Nobuo Uematsu's best.

It's such a shame it was buried under a poorly written hammy storyline. It would have been a better game if they cut out half of it and let the world speak for itself.

But I'm getting off-topic. I just wanted to get that out.

 

[Gladion]

I like some FF games. III, IV, and parts of X that don't involve the hammy storyline. I am a JRPG fan who doesn't like the majority of FF games, or Square games in general. Woah.

*Highfive*
If you're actually a person, I'd sleep with you (gender not important).

OT: He'll hate on it, hardly a shocker.

 

[jboking]

Just because the surface appearances are different doesn't mean the games are vastly different. The combat sequences all worked the same, the random encounters all worked the same, the tropes were pretty consistently identical from game to game. The character power progression was always the same (gradual increase, hit plot point, start running around to collect epic gear, beat final boss, done). The inventory system never really changed, and I could go on, but I'm sure you get the point. You're basically arguing that if they took a game like Doom or Medal of Honor, or whatever, and kept everything the same except for the guns, that the two games would be entirely different.

Guys, what's up with Gears of War? It seems like every game is the same. You just run around until you see some enemies, duck behind cover and you shoot. The guns always have triggers, the grenades always explode, it's the same tropes every time. You always get guns the same way (looting dead bodies, finding them on the battle field, it's like they aren't even trying!). The weapon loadout system never really changed much, and I could go on, but I'm sure you get the point.
(Sorry, your medal of honor reference doesn't work. The weapons the characters use change in every game. FFS Snow in FF13 uses jackets[sub]...let that idiocy sink in, I know it took a while for me to get that wtf out of the way.[/sub]. I digress, the system in which the guns are used in an FPS never changes.)
(btw: FF8. Draw system. Learn of it.)

 

[Blanks]

I doubt he will review it. But i think if he gave a jrpg a good review the four horseman would come.

Then War was right to come down early, yahtzee did like 'The World Ends With You' (how appropriate)

OT:but i doubt he'll bother, his ignorance with RPGs knows no bounds but then again he could do it just to 'piss of the fans'