Zero Punctuation and Final Fantasy XIII

[Julianking93]

It's a JRPG. Of course he'll hate it.

Sure it's linear and story driven and is why I'm so excited about getting it today, but it's turn based strategy and has at least one annoying character. So he'll hate it.

 

[Meggiepants]

Possibly... I had no idea that Fallout 3 thread would hit 10 000 views though, that was madness!

It feels like every second day there's another 'What will Yahtzee think of 'x' game' thread. It seems a bit pointless.

It's still going! I see it pop up on the first page every now and then. I think it's up to like, 13k now. Bravo on that.

It is a bit pointless. Particularly since half the comments are "He'll hate it. /thread"

The irony of course, is that we are actually having a discussion about how pointless it is, on a pointless thread about ZP.

 

[Fappy]

There is no point in the review honestly. It would take him a good while to finish it and we already know he will tear it a new one.

 

[Kelthurin]

Judging from the things that are different this time around, it sounds like Yahtzee might actually like Final Fantasy XIII. It's linear, story driven, with an engaging battle system even for a JRPG. I am positive he'll gripe about the character design. It's pretty clear he is not a huge fan of Japanese archetypes. If that doesn't kill it for him, from what I am seeing of the game and his past opinions, he might give it a favorable review.

What do you guys think?

(Provided, of course, he actually reviews it)

BALLS, I forgot it was out today! MOTHERF-..

 

[MiracleOfSound]

Possibly... I had no idea that Fallout 3 thread would hit 10 000 views though, that was madness!

It feels like every second day there's another 'What will Yahtzee think of 'x' game' thread. It seems a bit pointless.

It's still going! I see it pop up on the first page every now and then. I think it's up to like, 13k now. Bravo on that.

It is a bit pointless. Particularly since half the comments are "He'll hate it. /thread"

The irony of course, is that we are actually having a discussion about how pointless it is, on a pointless thread about ZP.

13K? Wow. Must go have a look at it again!

And yes, I suggest we stop derailing the thread now and let it faade awaaayyyy...

 

[primitivescrewhead]

Only ever liked Final Fantasy 3, 7, 9 and 10

 

[drunkirishman]

in the e3 hype massacre last year he summed up his opinion on it by making a strangled noise from his throat and that he would be re-hashing previous ground so don't get your hopes up.

 

[Nifty]

Now, to be fair, Final Fantasy has been recycling the same characters in much the same way over the years.

Firion: He is pretty much a stereotype of the genre he is an orphan whos home was destroyed by the emperor and he joins a rebellion to stop them.
Cecil Harvey: A noble dark knight turned paladin.
Bartz Klauser: A fun loving wanderer who hardly takes things seriously.
Edgar Figaro: A Ladies man and a huge flirt, he is the king of Figaro and puts his responsibilities to his kingdom above himself
Terra Brandford: A half esper half human girl who is confused with her emotions and her loss of memory, she later on becomes more headstrong and assertive when she has something to fight for.
Cloud Strife: ... ugh a soulless character who really lacks any personality whatsoever let us move on to a better FF7 character
Zack Fair: An upbeat protagonist who fights to protect his honor as SOLDIER and searches for his old teacher and friend Angeal.
Squall Leonhart: A smart person who is often looked to as a leader despite the fact he hates being responsible for others, he doesn't let people get close to him for the fear of losing them.
Zidane Tribal: A fun loving and slightly immature womanizer who Helps garnet escape from her mother and from a series of events finds himself saving the world.
Tidus: A boy who wound up in Spira after a blitzall game beign ruined by a sin attack, confused and clueless about Spira he follows Yuna on her pilgrimage, Upbeat and carefree he is a bit childish, though serious at heart.
Ashelia B'nargin Dalmasca: The princess of Dalmasca, a kingdom that fell to archades she longs to stop archades and free her people very headstrong and a bit of tunnel vision she only seeked to find her goal but she becomes more open as the story progresses

Yup all the same...

Look in to things a bit before you start saying silly things like that.

I think you missed the point there. I didn't say they were all the same, did I? Perhaps you should read into things a bit more before waffling on like that.

 

[IckleMissMayhem]

Pointless thread is pointless.

If Yahtzee reviews FFXIII, I'll eat my laptop.

 

[LeonLethality]

I think you missed the point there. I didn't say they were all the same, did I? Perhaps you should read into things a bit more before waffling on like that.

The point I was trying to make was that each character is unique, not recycled.

 

[Casual Shinji]

All I know is that the characters look stupid and have the most ridicules names I've ever heard in a FF game.

Yes, even more so than usual.

 

[Nicarus]

He might do what he did for Bioshock 1. He'll say it has good bits but then outright tear it apart.

 

[IckleMissMayhem]

Pointless thread is pointless.

If Yahtzee reviews FFXIII, I'll eat my laptop.

Make sure you film this and put it up on some website.
Also, let us know what that does to your digestive system, I don't think it'll be good for you.

I'm not saying he'll definitely review it, I'm just saying that if he does I'll be expecting you to keep to your words.

I just reckon it's that safe a bet, but if he does deign to review it, I'll keep to my promise, but I'll find it hard to post evidence online, what with not having a computer available anymore. Not for a few days, anyhow...

Dammit... now I have to get the image of taking a pooped-out laptop to PC World and asking them to fix it... how entertaining would that be?!!

 

[Dimbo_Sama]

yeah, he's not going to review it

and if you badger him into doing so he'll hate it all the more for it

 

[Captain Pancake]

Maybe he will, just to throw us all off balance. But even if I wanted the game, I have neither the time or the money to play it. Maybe in the summer, when it's cheap and I have no exams to worry about.

 

[tweedpol]

Agreed with whoever pointed out that each FF is different; i've played VII, IX, VIII and VI in that order and liked them completely different amounts: VII is great if a little weird and trippy, IX was really awesomely kickarse, VIII made me want to die and i think i could have got into VI but i had to give my friend his PSone back.
Am i the only one who thinks they all take forever to get started? it takes hours to get out of midgar, say, and for instance get your first summon... IX was possibly worse, Dagger only started being called Dagger (and started to match her little selection portrait, spoiler warning) like halfway through the last disc. That's what ruined VIII for me, in addition to the bloody flying your city around thing where you have to travel through like 8 screens to get on and off the bloody thing. And the fact that it sucked hard.
Wow i've whinged for ages.

 

[Igen]

Nope. He'll hate it on principle...

But for arguments sake, the thing about Final Fantasy is that EVERY GAME IS DIFFERENT.

So, you can't just play one or two and justify hating them all. Even if you are some kind of dedicated anti-Japanese gamer. The series reinvents itself with every entry. New combat system, new leveling system, new characters, new location.

Now, umm...I gotta wait 2 hours to go pick it up.

You're deluding yourself, Final Fantasy didn't even bother to alter it's core gameplay until FF 12.

Oh yes...because the Junction system 8, materia stytem 7 , job system 5, sphere grid 10.

Are just so damn similar. Not all turn based combat is the same, you know.

It's still Turn Based Combat, and a lot of people don't like Turn based combat.
Like me, I fucking hate it with a passion.

Hating all turn based combat JUST BECAUSE its turn based is just ignorance...A lot of TBC systems can easily be found boring, though. But I challenge you to hate Grandia's system.

Of course he hates it because it is turn-based.... He hates turn-based combat. Even though not all systems are the same, man probably doesn't like taking turns. That's understandable.

try valkyria chronicles, its turn based but it stands apart from the others
i really enjoyed valkyria chronicles battle system, and the only final fantasy system i didnt enjoy was 8.

 

[JoJo Bizzaro 7]

Definitely not.

The man is set in his ways.
Yahtzee hates JRPGs like Klan members hate black people.
There's just no changing it.

Even if he reviewed it just to slander it, we would already have known his opinion ages before the review came out. We'd find it trite and boring.