Zero Punctuation: Bayonetta

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DarkPanda XIII

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Nov 3, 2009
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Wow, I thought I really didn't want to play Bayonetta, and bhow after all this the feeling is just about the same bloody thing x.x. Thank you Yahtzee, for reminding me how much I *didn't* want to play the damn game.
 

Spelonker

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Nov 15, 2009
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Jesus Christ, is he still complaining about there being over-the-top-action cutscenes in over-the-top-action games? Look Yahtzee, in Devil may Cry and Bayonetta, there's more than enough space to do ridiculous, insane combos with imaginary bullshit weapons against crazy, bizarre enemies. But every now and then, the director will decide he needs to do something so action packed that if anyone even attempted to put a control scheme to it, it would either suck balls and end up as a bland quicktime event OR an easy as piss minigame with so much detailed and choreographed stuff in the background that would either distract you and fuck up your run or go unnoticed because you're focusing on the minigame it's self.

Not only that, but the gameplay in DMC3-4 and Bayonetta are detailed and varied enough that you can pull off battles and combos not far off from that scale anyway. But seeing how you were saying that you were getting the dunce grade at the end of every level, you've obviously not managed to pull that off (that's not a butthurt fanboy attack). Seriously, look at some of the "tournament runs" for Devil May Cry on Youtube. Those guys can pull it off no problem. Yahtzee, it's OK if you simply don't like the gameplay, but dear god, you've just stopped a huge amount of people from buying a game where they could easily succeed where you failed.
 

Onyx Oblivion

Borderlands Addict. Again.
Sep 9, 2008
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I love this game, and at least he thought it was decent. Better that I expected considering how he hates nearly every Japanese game.
 

Motakikurushi

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Jul 22, 2009
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The most accurate review of Bayonetta I've heard. Discounting all the niggly little flaws, Bayonetta is a pretty outstanding game. Wildly original, exhilerating and entertaining action at its absolute finest. I would say though that the game has less prolonged fighting cutscenes than a Devil May Cry game, so much so that I was surprised by how much it let you play cutscene fights, even the flashbacks.
Yes, I hated the scoring system and the QTE, but I still loved the game.
 

Aiddon_v1legacy

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Nov 19, 2009
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as usual Yahtzee is indeed hilarious; I lost my interest around the demo as I was suddenly crushed by the ten ton cinderblock saying "this game hasn't an original idea or aesthetic in its body".
 

Aiwe

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Oct 4, 2008
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I have a confession, I'm a total Bayonetta fangirl, I'm not especially good at it, although I've improved massively in the 60 hours plus I've played it, but I love it to bits. It's just really refreshing to have a sexy female character who actually knows that she's sexy, also I have a massive crush on Luka, and I have a very girly addiction to the romantic subplot... there are some cut scenes I can just watch over and over and over... okay, okay this turned out way more gushy than I intended... anyway what was I going to say... oh yes, entertaining review, thank you Yahtzee
 

sumguitardude

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Jan 20, 2010
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Haha great review as always^^
though u gave away a big spoiler inn that review.
Witch is bad for people that have not played it yet:(
Got to say i loved the game, long legs and all^^
AAAAH hahaXD
 

mawk

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Nov 5, 2009
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I sort of expected him to touch briefly on the super-easy mode which allows you to play one-handed, given the game's ridiculous tendency to cater to fetish fuel, but then I looked into it and turns out it's a mechanic that's been present for the Devil May Cry titles, as well. I can't imagine why, unless the developers really expect us to be so utterly bedazzled by the combos that we can't articulate both our hands at once, but I guess it's at least included for more innocent reasons than I'd originally thought. Go figure.
 

Rafe

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Apr 18, 2009
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Hillarious Review!

Still don't know if Darksiders or Bayonetta are any good though.
 

BlackFrost55

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Jan 20, 2010
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Honestly, all you need to do to know if you'll like Bayonetta is fill out this little quiz:

Did you play Devil May Cry?
Did you enjoy Devil May Cry?

If yes, then you will like this game. It takes the combat and really makes it a lot more smooth (if you're on 360 that is...damn PS3 developers) and fluid while at the same time giving you a shitload of combos. Play through it on Normal to get a gist of how to play the game, then play it on Hard for one hell of a challenge. You'll likely get low scores at first but as you play through the game you'll get the hang of how you're supposed to play.

EDIT: That being said, the game would be almost perfect if not for those god awful Quick Time events, ugh. Most of them aren't too bad, but there are a few that just come out of nowhere and expect you to push the corresponding button in less than a second.
 

Ham Blitz

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May 28, 2009
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I will have to admit, thishas probably been teh best one in awhile. I have been watching them weekly, and most of them I have sort of just been like "Ah, that was interesting" for the longest time. This one I actually did laugh at many times.
Not sure whether I should try this game or not...
 

messy

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Dec 3, 2008
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Funny review. I did live DMC4 so I'll probably get this one.

Last line and the pacman bit were pretty good
 

Sephychu

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Dec 13, 2009
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BlackFrost55 said:
Honestly, all you need to do to know if you'll like Bayonetta is fill out this little quiz:

Did you play Devil May Cry?
Did you enjoy Devil May Cry?

If yes, then you will LOVE this game. It takes the combat and really makes it a lot more smooth (if you're on 360 that is...damn PS3 developers) and fluid while at the same time giving you a shitload of combos. Play through it on Normal to get a gist of how to play the game, then play it on Hard for one hell of a challenge. You'll likely get low scores at first but as you play through the game you'll get the hang of how you're supposed to play.
Fixed.
 

RTR

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Mar 22, 2008
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Never thought this review would be this funny.
Also, nice burn on Borderlands.
 

Artemus_Cain

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May 20, 2009
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...'K, I'll rent it.

Bayonetta has to have set the record of most porn made from it before it's actually released.