Zero Punctuation: Beyond: Two Souls

[shogunblade]

It feels like David Cage has become the Video Game Equivalent of M. Night Shyamalan, so it's only a matter of Time before he makes "The Happening" of Video games and the world rejoices at the unintentional comedy.

OT: I don't think I will ever pick up the game now. With everything everybody has said, plus the demo I played, Yahtzee has sort of solidified it for me. I know naysayers will come out of the woodwork to defend Cage's game, but honestly, with Indigo Prophecy, he at least had something resembling artistic control, and it wasn't that bad, despite what many people say about it.

Heavy Rain is where the relationship soured the more I played it, but it was fun for what I played.

Beyond: Two Souls, sadly, feels like it sort of supports what many say of the film industry: It's not the special effects budget you have (read: Emotions your characters can give off), it's the story.

What we need now is somebody who can utilize the tech, something I think Cage has proven well enough, and give way to a better scriptwriter, before Cage embarrasses himself further.

 

[Mr_Terrific]

I don't mind bad reviews but why do they all go on and on about David Cage as if he and he alone made the game. It just shows bias to be honest. If you don't like Cage, don't review his shit. Easy.

@the people who watched gameplay videos

Don't be stupid. It's not that type of game.

@the people that have actually played the game

You're right, it's not as bad as the people that hate David Cage make it out to be.

Lastly, TWD has the same amount of not actual gameplay gameplay and everyone eats that shit up. Perhaps I'm the only one that could give a shit about the girl or what everyone else raves about but the game is just not that good. *everyone notices or didn't notices this comment*

 

[Vegosiux]

Beyond: Two Souls is one of those games where a sequel name will be awkward if it does happen. Like Army of Two Two.

Beyond: Two Souls 2: Some Souls we Found in the Hedge: Electric Boogaloo?

If that ain't colon cancer I don't know what is.

On a just barely related note, I would love it if Yahtzee ended up with the game being "such utter colon semi-colon pound sign exclamation mark...see, I just verbally censored the word 'shite'".

 

[james.sponge]

So we can all agree the game is bad and sony just lost sh*tload of money by paying this small boy they call Ellen and the rest of the cast, not mentioning all that expensive motion-capture. I think David Cage may soon lose his job Well at least it is going to be emotional!

 

[Proverbial Jon]

I'm starting to wonder if David Beige has ever actually talked to a real woman before.

This review is actually a lot like trying to play through any of David Beige's games: Soul crushing.

Did you know that before going to talk to Ellen Page about appearing in his very shitty game that he compiled a massive scrapbook of pictures of her as a child he found on the internet? And that he took it with him to their interview.

http://www.lazygamer.net/general-news/david-cage-went-crazy-for-ellen-page/

This makes the fact that he actually rendered her model completely naked and extremely detailed for the shower scene all the creepier.

Then again, his last female character spent the entire game appealing to a variety of fetishes and saying "you go girl" to herself so we didn't have very far to fall.

I did not know about that. I mean, seriously, that's serial killer behaviour.

I was on the fence for a while about buying this game. But when I saw a brief clip of naked rendered Ellen Page on Youtube I was like: nope! I couldn't believe he hyped the game up for having such a "famous actress" only to reduce her to just another one of his sexy fan-wank renders. Now we know why he truly wants all those polygons.

His portrayal of women is absolutely appalling; naive at best and downright disgusting at worst. It's more akin to the daydreaming machinations of a young teenager's perverted mind. The fact that he based his entire game around nothing more than images of an actress he didn't even know says a lot about the game and the way his mind works.

 

[Grach]

Did you know that before going to talk to Ellen Page about appearing in his very shitty game that he compiled a massive scrapbook of pictures of her as a child he found on the internet? And that he took it with him to their interview.

http://www.lazygamer.net/general-news/david-cage-went-crazy-for-ellen-page/

This makes the fact that he actually rendered her model completely naked and extremely detailed for the shower scene all the creepier.

Then again, his last female character spent the entire game appealing to a variety of fetishes and saying "you go girl" to herself so we didn't have very far to fall.

I thought Matt and Pat from Two Best Friends play made that up, Holy shit!

Anyway, I came thinking it'd be a typical Dahvid Cahge emohtians "game" and lo and behold! I was proven right!

 

[shogunblade]

OT: I don't think I will ever pick up the game now. With everything everybody has said,

Can't you just ignore what other people said? And if you can't, then are you just intentionally ignoring the high scores the game got together with the low scores?



I really wish people could decide for themselves. When the first reviews I saw of Beyond were negative (5/10), my intention to play the game didn't change in the slightest. When the other reviews i saw were positive (5/10), my intention to play the game didn't change in the slightest.

GTA5 got amazing perfect scores, and I think that game is crap. Because I made my own decision, no matter what other might tell me.


So, what is wrong with me, I wonder. Why don't I get influenced by scores and group-mind like everyone else. :/

I haven't played GTA 5 and I'm not really eager to play it, and I only own a PS3. By not playing this game, I'm only disappointing myself, I realize that. I may still pick it up one day (I was being hyperbolic), but I'm not willing to play it for the price it is at now, not when the demo left me quite dissatisfied with what the full game could potentially be.

Addressing your point on thinking for myself: A lot of my favorite games, and even some movies, are the ones nobody really cares for. I do think for myself, I'm just saying when the majority and I agree (for whatever my opinion is worth based on the demo I played), That doesn't make me want to pick up that game to try to assume they are just wrong.

 

[james.sponge]

Actually ten years ago Valve was bragging about the facial animations in Half Life 2.

They were bragging about lots of possibilities offered by source but they made a good game in the process so 'yay^^' for them.

 

[Adam Jensen_v1legacy]

I'm so glad Yahtzee ripped David Cage a new asshole with this review. David Cage makes unique games, sure. But unique doesn't mean good. He's a talentless man who couldn't make it in the movie industry.

 

[Vale]

Yahtzee should review WOLFAMONGOUS.
I'm sure he would just LOVE the DEEP AND INVOLVED GAEME MEKANIKS.

 

[The_Echo]

I haven't played Beyond: Two Souls yet, but it seems to me that David Cage's games are always love-it-or-hate-it.

And since I enjoyed Heavy Rain, and thought Indigo Prophecy was pretty neato... I'm sure I'll enjoy this one.

Unless it's like so bad that not even David Cage fans like it.

 

[Johnson McGee]

I'd gauge that Yahtzee really earned his wage for this sage Cage Page rage.

 

[Sheo_Dagana]

@the people that have actually played the game

You're right, it's not as bad as the people that hate David Cage make it out to be.

Lastly, TWD has the same amount of not actual gameplay gameplay and everyone eats that shit up. Perhaps I'm the only one that could give a shit about the girl or what everyone else raves about but the game is just not that good. *everyone notices or didn't notices this comment*

I don't hate David Cage, but the game does have severely glaring faults, not the least of which are it's awful controls.

The Walking Dead, unlike Beyond, had more fully developed characters (not just Clementine) that didn't overact or cry every five minutes in order to define themselves. Jodie has no personality outside of being shy and sad, and for that matter, no one else in the game was anything more than their character archetypes. The Walking Dead was a low-budget game with a story and characters that are far more fleshed out, despite not having the technology afforded to Quantic Dream.

 

[mjc0961]

Yeah, Ellen's second imaginary friend the camera was a definite pain in the ass. It's pretty sad when one of the hardest tasks in the game is navigating her apartment to try and clean it but you can't because the camera keeps swinging around at random and the direction she's walking changes with it. I wanted Aiden to spend less time trying to stop Jodie and more time trying to stop the fucking camera, but of course the bastard was probably working with the camera.

 

[MB202]

I wish I could make a David Cage impression that's as good as Jim Sterling's for this...

 

[In Search of Username]

Is David Cage just Hideo Kojima but with all the flashes of narrative genius cut out, essentially leaving just a nice concept that quickly disintegrates into nonsense?

 

[Schadrach]

The only one of those I've seen was Inception it seems. Can't say I cared one bit for the pile of sophmoric blather so it's a bit of a blur to me, aside from Edith Piaf. Even Nolans inane movies can't ruin Edith Piaf. Was Ellen Page that girl who was like some sort of wizard kid the Leonardo found at some school?

Yeah, she played Ariadne, the character named for the greek goddess associated with mazes and labyrinths. Who then spent a decent bit of time building mazes and labyrinths. A bit on the nose, but it's not like Araidne is a particularly well known deity.

It apears to only have made a good rap song,otherwise its a pile of roten pickle juice?

Fine by me,it didnt even seem like much to begn with.
Looks like The Stanley Parable but way worst...

How can you hate on the Stanley Parable? It's at least clever at times. Personally I got a kick out of the red door ending, which I expect to be one that Yahtzee will comment on if he ever does the game. It's just needlessly cruel to the Narrator.