Zero Punctuation: Bulletstorm

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UnkeptBiscuit

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Wow. I bought Bulletstorm, and didn't like it quite as much as I thought I would, but couldn't figure out why. And then Yahtzee comes around and explains absolutely everything I couldn't quite place. Who'd think that the most truthful review would come from a satirist?
 

TwistednMean

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I really liked this one, as well as both Dead Spaces. And I liked neither of the Bioshocks or Dooms on account of being too dull and repetitive.

Maybe people do look for different things in FPS accoriding to their very own definition of "fun". But then I'm more interested in dynamic gameplay and descent story than the ability to carry around 200 pounds of guns and ammo on your back, while shooting machinegun as steadily as if it were a recoilless rifle.

And, seriously, how can you review Bulletstorm and say nothing about the dialogue? I mean every single one if Sarrano's lines is priceless and all of them combined make you glad he didn't die in the end, so that you have a chance to see him in a sequel and listen to his obscenities some more.
 

Tulks

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LordOrin said:
Pikey Mikey said:
LordOrin said:
Augh! Thanks Yahtzee, now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head for another 5 years :mad:
what song?
He references it in the credits ("I LOST MY HEART AND VARIOUS OTHER THINGS TO A STARSHIP TROOPER"):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TL6MAyTXMRA
Warning: the 70s were WEIRD!
He used the same song as an outro back in the days before he got his own soundtrack, but I can't remember which game it was for.
 

Triforceformer

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Levethian said:
I suspect it won't - from what I've seen of it, it seems to have a story to tell, which means a carefully constructed narrative linking set-pieces, rather than a 'nonsense' fun shooter.
Well it really depends on what you mean by story. "The aliens are back, and they're trying to steal our women. Kill them." is about all the story amounts to at this point. Also, who's to say that a game can't have nonsense and structure? If it's all nonsense, sure, it's funny, but there's the times where you think "Wow, something like X would have been awesome at point Y,". But if it's all structured, then you get the Halo problem of "I just don't give a shit, game,". A good balance of nonsensical action and structured set-pieces would, theoretically, make for a damn good game.

Besides, it's been repeatedly said that DNF will not just be nonsense shooting all the way through. There will be puzzles, there will be setpieces (Such as a shrunk Duke escaping a casino in an RC car.), and there are 3 "Structured" boss fights within the first 90 minutes. But there will be all that carnage we love, especially since the 2-Gun system helps all the guns become equally awesome without breaking the game. Health-wise, Duke at least knows better than "sucking your thumb behind a wall for a while" to get back health.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxKL1By-6j4

Such as in here. Duke gets battered hard by a pig-cop. The screen begins to resemble blood-shot eyes from Duke's POV, so it's better than jelly on the screen. But he only stops for a second to reload, charges out, and his health is pretty much back by the time he gets to the enemies. What am I saying with all of this? Perhaps that modern conventions aren't necessarily bad, just poorly used.

Helth regen feels restrictive in CoD because of how easily you die. The Weapon limitation feels arbitrary in Halo because, while they may function differently, every gun basically does the same thing aside from a few exceptions. Duke fixes the health issue by mixing health regen with a proper health bar that gets upgraded by playing with the game world. He also fixes the weapon-issue by making each weapon feel actually different to every other one, as opposed to just having them function differently.

Obviously the demo (and you know, the actual game) will need to come out before I can be sure Duke's found the magic formula. But it's looking good to me so far. Hail to the king, bubblegum, When it's done, etc blah blah blah.
 

Kungfu_Teddybear

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Madara XIII said:
HankMan said:
Forget the angst and homo erotic undertones.
Lets go kill something!
Pfffft I played Bullet Storm 12 years ago....

WHEN IT WAS CALLED WILD 9


That was an epic game.

OT: Thought he'd praise it myself, I had a lot of fun with it enough to complete the story twice on normal then very hard. Had some great laughs with my mates on the multiplayer also. The Penetrator is the best. Weapon. Ever.
 

DanielBrown

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Madara XIII said:
HankMan said:
Forget the angst and homo erotic undertones.
Lets go kill something!
Pfffft I played Bullet Storm 12 years ago....

WHEN IT WAS CALLED WILD 9


Omg... biggest rush of nostalgia in a long time. Wild 9 was one of my first games on the PS!
Think I only finished three levels or something though. I was 7-8 years old or something and didn't speak english.

Just wanted to thank you for bringing back some childhood memories that was since long forgotten!
 

Madara XIII

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DanielBrown said:
Madara XIII said:
HankMan said:
Forget the angst and homo erotic undertones.
Lets go kill something!
Pfffft I played Bullet Storm 12 years ago....

WHEN IT WAS CALLED WILD 9


Omg... biggest rush of nostalgia in a long time. Wild 9 was one of my first games on the PS!
Think I only finished three levels or something though. I was 7-8 years old or something and didn't speak english.

Just wanted to thank you for bringing back some childhood memories that was since long forgotten!
No problem. Took me forever to find what the name of it was about a year ago when I couldn't remember its name. I actually took the initiative to watch a youtube video listing 200 playstation games looking for it and sure enough there it was.
 

Madara XIII

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Fronzel said:
Madara XIII said:
HankMan said:
Forget the angst and homo erotic undertones.
Lets go kill something!
Pfffft I played Bullet Storm 12 years ago....

WHEN IT WAS CALLED WILD 9


Did you actually play Wild 9? The whole "torture" thing they used as the marketing gimmick didn't really show up in the game.
Not as much as one would expect, but for its time it was pretty damn fun. Slamming them into walls, using their corpses as bridges over spiked pits and the little dialouge that was in that game was actually pretty damn funny! Fave part had to be escorting around the guy who exploded by sneezing.

I'm not saying I hate bullet storm, but when I saw a considerable amount of similarities I honestly saw no point in FOX news getting so worked up. Plus Steve Blum was probably doing the voice over for Bulletstorm for a quick paycheck.
 

Levethian

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ZZoMBiE13 said:
Heaven knows this industry is big enough for all the audiences to be catered to. BulletStorms problem is that it doesn't commit to either. Over the top GUN GUN GUN madness or Dirty Grey Space Opera. Pick one and commit.
Yep, it's downright weird. Perhaps the games we seek will come from indie devs, since AAA's are too concerned with marketing based on graphics, story & violence.
Triforceformer said:
But it's looking good to me so far. Hail to the king, bubblegum, When it's done, etc blah blah blah.
Hope you're right ;)
 

RobfromtheGulag

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Perhaps the controls could be better configured for PC than they are on Xbox, but I haven't found a way to quickly and efficiently rattle off charged shots either. Especially since the word 'charged' drives me to wait a second before using it after prepping.

Along the lines of realism the relative scarcity of ammo is annoying me as well this first playthrough. Perhaps I'll love it enough to get the knack of 150pt comboing every single enemy the second time through, but for now I can barely afford to load my guns let alone load their charges. I'm wishful for previous Epic games like Unreal Tournament where you'd throw guns away if they had less than 20% ammo just to pick up a new one.
 

nicebuffalo

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whatever. i enjoy it but that's probably because i'm relatively new to gaming and my standards haven't been raised by games like doom and serious sam
 

duchaked

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hey he kinda liked it? and that's about as much as I predicted anyway
I could tell the game achieved its goal to a certain degree, but I do felt at times the influence of modern gaming that took away from the retro monster splatterhouse style e.g. why can't these buggers just clump together more often so I can decapitate them all at once??

but anyway, I enjoyed the game, and I think Yahtzee did too
it's just a pity there weren't bizarre situations where I might be dumped into a big room with buttloads of enemies decided to forgo using cover and rush me and my massive-drill gun...delicious xP

Plinglebob said:
Aiddon said:
I was hoping he'd praise, but ya can't win every time. I still had fun with it. Admittedly I wish they just went into full-blown parody mode instead of trying to act serious; did I mention that this was written by a comic book writer?
This is as close to praise as he ever gets. This review perfectly sums up what I think of the game which is definitely a 1st.

archvile93 said:
My favorite line in there would have to be, "Now, drop the net, hit him with sticks!" I have to disagree with his review of the gameplay though. Maybe I'm just better than him, but even on hard I spent very little time hiding behind walls. As long as they died before I did I was fine.
I played it on easy because I'm a pansy and being able to run around without worrying whether or not I'll die certainly made the game more fun.
yeah this review was def a praise to a degree but obviously he's a critique and won't let it go without a smack on the bum

I played on normal I think, and yes there were a few sticky situations where I found myself hiding behind a chest high wall (awkward crouch button btw) thinking "heal heal...jeez this is feeling less like the 90s right now" haha

but then I got the "fire in the hole" skillshot and smiled

and felt a sudden urge to go out and rape people AHA just kidding, not happening the way you said it Miss Bulletstorm-Causes-Rape Fox Psychologist Lady Thing >=P
 

dragonburner

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Crimson_Dragoon said:
I'm surprised he didn't mention that they answered his wish to have a gun that had tits on fire on it. Sure, it was just a painting on a gun, but it was a nice little call out to his Painkiller review.
I was hoping he would mention it, but he didn't... I was disappointed.
 

baseracer

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philosophicalbastard said:
baseracer said:
Yathzee I blame Halo. Stupid regen health.
The first Halo actually had health bars. I believe it was Call of Duty that first used health regeneration, but I'm not sure.
First COD had health bars.

Halo had shields that recharged.
 
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baseracer said:
philosophicalbastard said:
baseracer said:
Yathzee I blame Halo. Stupid regen health.
The first Halo actually had health bars. I believe it was Call of Duty that first used health regeneration, but I'm not sure.
First COD had health bars.

Halo had shields that recharged.
And Halo also had health bars too, along with its recharging shields.
 

MolotoK

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The reason shooters slowed down is simple: Console gaming.
Analog sticks just aren't good for fast paced shooters.

Now let's kill those dirty console playing peasants for the glory of the PC gaming master race!!!
 

Trogdor1138

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Madara XIII said:
HankMan said:
Forget the angst and homo erotic undertones.
Lets go kill something!
Pfffft I played Bullet Storm 12 years ago....

WHEN IT WAS CALLED WILD 9


Oh man, you just reminded me of that game, I have a copy of it too and never played it all that much... Fond memories of the demo as a kid.

I know what I'm doing later :p
 

CactusPants

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Feb 17, 2010
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I'm still waiting on a PC demo, then I'll decide.

On another note the latest Painkiller is not very fun.
 

Tontomanzz

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Think there's a bit of an issue of him comparing a PC FPS game (Painkiller) and a Console FPS on gameplay style. One of the reasons for the prevalence of chest high wall combat is it matches the console controller more than a totally freewheeling fast paced FPS. So if he wants a change from what?s become a combat standard, maybe he needs a game that?s made for PC (like Painkiller was) and ported to console (or play it on PC) and not for console and ported to PC.
 

The Random One

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I hope Duke Nukem Forever can succeed where Bulletstorm fails. And if it doesn't, then maybe Serious Sam 3 will. And if both of those fail, may whatever God presides over gaming have murcy on us all.