Zero Punctuation: Call of Duty: Black Ops

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Sprinal

New member
Jan 27, 2010
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EPIC IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW ABOUT THAT WAR.

maybe MI5 has some nukes lying around that could just be 'beloning' to North Korea :)
 

TilMorrow

Diabolical Party Member
Jul 7, 2010
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ProjectTrinity said:
Nile McMorrow said:
If america really wants to go to war then they can have another civil war. Then the UK can come over and claim whats rightfullly their's during the confusion.
So this is what an obvious troll looks like. Haven't seen one on the Escapist in a while.
Im not being a troll Im just pointing out a historical fact. Back when America was being settled, a majority of the settlers came from the UK which was under the rule of a king George (not sure if this was the correct king or not and can't remember which number) when a large number of the settlers decided they wanted the America colonies to be independant from the rule of the monarchy and so decided to start a civil war with the settlers that were loyal to the British monarchy. The loyal settlers were defeated, probably due to the difficulty of fighting an over-ocean battle against a large group of settlers who were already there, and the American settlers declared America to be an independant country from the UK's rule. Although, some people will say that America belongs to the native people who already lived there which is true but the American settlers drove them from their lands after being declared independant and whos to say if the settlers had decided to stay under control of the monarchy that they may have then not driven them from their land. Just want to say that Indian during Pre-Ghandi times, when it was ruled by the British, is an example of what may have happened.

I also want to state that Im not a historian and am only recalling these facts off the top of my head so feel free to correct me where Im wrong.
 

solidstatemind

Digital Oracle
Nov 9, 2008
1,077
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Hrm.

Didn't even crack a smile at that. I guess I just don't find 'genocide' to be funny in any context.

I suppose you could consider me an 'overly sensitive' type because of that. But even laying that aside, this ZP reeked-

[HEADING=2] positively reeked![/HEADING]

-of lazy self-indulgence. Of uninspired 'jokes' (and I use the term loosely)... it seemed you didn't even try, really...

Seriously, Mr. Croshaw, on the off chance you actually delve deeply enough in the comment thread to read this, perchance tell me what you were attempting to accomplish with this drivel?

Because honestly, this presentation seemed to be an unfettered can of complain, with very little in the way of logical (or even LOLgical-- fuck... I'm copyrighting that word right now... LOLgical is fucking perfect!) critcism.

Anyway, I don't give even half a shit about Black Ops, but your review failed so completely on every level that I'm sure I'll at least remember the name.




You're better than this.

Post-script: I should probably offer some examples... and I promise to revisit this thread and do so... Probably tomorrow. Too sleepy now.
 

The Cheezy One

Christian. Take that from me.
Dec 13, 2008
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canadamus_prime said:
The Cheezy One said:
And yes, zombies do seem to be a necessary requirement now.
Whether they actually fit or not. I'm looking at you Red Dead Redemption.
That was just random. I mean, what are you smoking, Rockstar?
Also, this may be the first ZP I've seen in a where no-one has "first"ed.
 

xdiesp

New member
Oct 21, 2007
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These games are just recruiting tools for the military. I mean, 90% of the US videogame production revolves around playing a soldier: grunts, spacemarines, superheroes WITH GUNS. And then voilà, you get the new batch of cannon fodder for Iraq, easy as that.
 

Tim Chuma

New member
Jul 9, 2010
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Wait about a week or two and we get to play Korean War II: Electric Boogaloo for real.

Has anyone 'shoppped up a good photo of Kim Jong-Il's head stuck on Slim Picken's body riding the bomb yet?

Also fighting pirates off the coast of Yemen as that's where most of the attacks are now:
http://www.icc-ccs.org/home/piracy-reporting-centre/another-live-piracy-map-2009
 

ark123

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Feb 19, 2009
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I say we bomb Germany again, just to keep them guessing. No, we're not cool for the jews yet, Germany. Here's a reminder. Want another one? Then shut the fuck up.
 

Ruwrak

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Sep 15, 2009
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Im actually gonna take in this review wether nor not to buy this game.

But as usuall, very content with this episode. Enough laughs for the morning hours of boredom.
 

braincell

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Mar 3, 2010
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I don't usually comment, but this was the most entertaining episode in 2010 so I just have to say: LOL!
 

Metalrocks

New member
Jan 15, 2009
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the SP is nothing special. i play it at times but the MP is what makes this game great. i was hoping he would say something about the MP. a bit disappointed there.
 

matt87_50

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Apr 3, 2009
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you know what was great? COLD war. yeah, I could go for one of them about now. the thrill is all in the chase anyway, right?
 
Feb 13, 2008
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I have never laughed so much at a ZP since SSBB Mailbag.

Genius. Almost made Dr. Strangelove look subtle.

 

havass

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Dec 15, 2009
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angelblack said:
Awww, I was hoping for Assassin's Creed.

Oh well, fun review nevertheless.
I second that.
And I agree with the war thing. America should just contact NKorea and meet up in the desert. Then bomb the hell out of each other. China should also stop being a bastard and stop supporting NK already. You guys are the only reason North Korea still bloody exists. Well, that and NK's nuclear bombs.
Also: The virgin/howler monkey thing was..disturbing.