Zero Punctuation: Call of Duty: Black Ops

[MrGalactus]

this one was great! Both funny, and a good review. You are on top form lately Mr. Croshaw!

 

[thepyrethatburns]

It doesn't matter. The US is just the world's scapegoat and we can't change that. Let them have their fun, let Yahtzee have his ego run rampant, let them all do whatever they want. Because what it all boils down to is ignorance. Yeah, surprising isn't it? Imagine, Non-Americans can be ignorant too. Funny that.

Translation:WAAAHHHHH!!!! Someone is taking a shot at the poor lil' U.S.

Look, this is very simple. If you want the world to stop blaming the U.S., then the U.S. has to stop blowing the crap out of foreign countries and start acting like a civilized country should.

What our politicians do is out of our hands. They will say anything to be voted in.

This excuse would be okay in a dictatorship. The U.S. is a constitutional republic which votes their leaders in. Therefore the citizens are ultimately responsible for what their leaders do.

And, frankly, what U.S. politicians do IS reflective of the populace. I go to a few political boards and one of the big trends right now is "Why doesn't the U.S. just jump into N. Korea and slap them silly?". Before that, more than a few kept advancing the notion that the C.I.A. should "silence" Julian Assange because he has, using the military's own records, embarrassed the U.S. military (which says something about how much people want to stick their fingers in their ears and hum loudly about the actions of the American government and it's military).

On the first day of the Iraq Invasion, a co-worker in MPE was watching the air assault on Baghdad and whooping it up over the best fireworks show he's ever seen. At the time, I dryly noted that there are people on the other end of those bombs.

No, this excuse doesn't really work.

The "America needs to be wiped out" stuff is pretty much the same thing any dominant world power has gotten. It's just with advances in media we can hear more of it, much more quickly. Spain, Britan, France, and others have all gotten their chance at being dominant global powers and every one of them was hated at the time.

Spoken like someone who hasn't been outside the country. A lot of the hate that each country got at the time was due to the inhumane way they treated others. For example, the people living in the Ivory Coast hated the French not because of some deep-seated envy of the French but because of the atrocities that the French visited upon the natives.

Other countries might have some envy of the U.S. but most of the actual hatred comes from people who have lost family members to U.S. bombs or from nations that have watched a successive line of Presidents declare that the best way to bring democracy to people is to murder large segments of those people.

We're nicer than most other dominant global powers were,

Iraq, Yugoslavia, Panama, and quite a few other countries would take issue with that statement.

but that doesn't change the fact that the people on the bottom of any system are ALWAYS going to be discontent, and the rest of the world is always going to be envious when they see another culture dominating because every people ultimatly wants their way to be #1 in the world and to be assimilating other people like dominant world powers do.

Facepalm .....this....isn't a parody video to you, is it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWS-FoXbjVI

While I agree some behaviors may be overblown, your strong hatred of America seems to border on the pathological. The type of thing you tend to see in the very ignorant. Which is amusing as it seems to be what you constantly rally against.

There is no law stating that everyone has to like all other countries. Certainly, the love U.S. citizens have for Muslim countries these days is underwhelming.

As for the world war thing. I actually do agree with the idea on a hypothetical basis that mankind needs a bit of culling. However, the manner in which you suggested it is telling of your ignorance. Because you know all the people who need to be culled live in America right? Not anywhere else?

Part of the thrust of this comment is that, if the U.S. had a war on their own soil, MAYBE the idea of bombing other countries, both in media and in real life, might lose a little luster.

Why not invade Australia?

How many countries has Australia invaded recently?

Countries are made of people. Lots of people are corrupt, stupid, or hateful. Painting everyone in a large country with the same brush is just insulting.

Germany....COD WW2 games. Russia/Muslim countries.....Modern Warfare games as well as just about any U.S. media in the 80s. Pot....Kettle. Etc.

 

[Strain42]

One of the worst ZPs I've seen in a while. It wasn't even all that funny, just a lot of anti-america bullcrap. I'm not even a CoD fan (never played any of the games) I just didn't find this episode funny. I know that Yahtzee can't be expected to be all gold all the time, so I just hope that next weeks episode is better.

 

[Thorinair]

Do you want to know who has power in the US? It's not the hard working Americans, not the intelligent ones, no, it's none of those. It's the rich lobbyists. I have some questions for any Americans here; did you, at any point in your life, vote for a declaration of war? Did you ever vote for the bombing of another country? Do you, personally have any say in the foreign policy besides what the politician decides they are going to do? You're argument that the American people are personally responsible for the wars we enter is wrong.

EDIT:

Other countries might have some envy of the U.S. but most of the actual hatred comes from people who have lost family members to U.S. bombs or from nations that have watched a successive line of Presidents declare that the best way to bring democracy to people is to murder large segments of those people.

I was under the impression we were not talking about countries that have been legitimately harmed by the US's actions. I thought we were talking about people that have no reason to hate the US besides some imagined moral superiority.

 

[Rannxz]

Not sure why there is all this hate for America. It's the most culturally diversified nation and has at least one person from every other country in this world. It's one of the most democratically free nations in the world.(Care to voice your opinion in North Korea? Nice knowing you...) It has one of the largest economies in the world, is ranked 3rd in population density, and is the most well-defended Country in the world. It's allied with over 100 nations in the world, and even though were almost 14 trillion dollars in debt, dozens of countries are in debt with us.

Citizens from other countries want to call American people all fatasses who eat at McDonalds...Okay. What ever country you're from has a stereotype as well. Not everyone is fat in the country, and not only American's are fat.

Want to complain that we act like peace keepers and try to maintain the peace? Well, sure, our Country likes to impose our beliefs with others, but so has many other countries as well. Plus, every single war we've been involved in(yes...every single one) has had at least another country helping America. Every disaster, every issue, every problem our world faced that America has tried to help(whether good, bad or indifferent) at least one of country has assisted as well.

Every issue others have with America most likely involves their country as well. It's just idiotic to hate a Country, when your country is most likely doing the same thing. Most of the people on this forum I see really don't know what they're talking about and want to jump on the 'I hate America' bandwagon.

Good for you, you hate one of the fastest growing super power nations this Earth has ever seen. It's a shame that America has most likely helped your country at one point during it's existence.

I know this post is gonna be dissected and flamed from a couple of people. But, whatever. The world would be bland if everyone had the same opinions. I hope you voice yours like I did mine.

 

[thepyrethatburns]

Do you want to know who has power in the US? It's not the hard working Americans, not the intelligent ones, no, it's none of those. It's the rich lobbyists. I have some questions for any Americans here; did you, at any point in your life, vote for a declaration of war? Did you ever vote for the bombing of another country? Do you, personally have any say in the foreign policy besides what the politician decides they are going to do? You're argument that the American people are personally responsible for the wars we enter is wrong.

Voting used to be known as not just a right but a responsibility. This is something that a lot of Americans have forgotten.

And here are a few questions to add to your list.

Have you ever written your congressman to protest the actions on Capitol Hill?
Have you ever added your voice to a protest?
When (and if) you vote, do you actually study the issues as well as do any form of light research on the candidates?
Have you ever done....ANYTHING....to protest or change the actions that you're so eager to blame Washington for?

Or, much like the Germans in World War 2 did when they said "Well, we weren't personally responsible for any of this", do you just sit back and absolve yourself of all responsibility?

Ultimately, the citizenry is still responsible. Apathy and laziness are no excuse. Yes, one voice by itself may not mean anything but the citizens are not absolved of responsibility just because American Idol is higher on the priority list than any form of responsible voting.

The lobbyists have the power because Americans let them have power.

Another example: The city council where I live decided to impose an illegal stormwater fee. They did this because they were betting that the threat of possible eviction would get everyone to meekly submit. In an increasingly rare display of civil disobedience, people refused to pay it. Legal threats were made but, when over half the homeowners in the city refused to pay it, city government backed down and the courts belatedly ruled that the fee was illegal in the first place.

But I guess that was just coincidence.

And y'know, if Americans are so powerless to affect their own government, then doesn't that mean that Americans actually do live under a dictatorship? Doesn't that mean that MLK Jr. was just wasting his time organizing marches? Perhaps we should also all just sit back and let the government determine how games are rated because it's not like there is anything we can do about it.

It comes down to the citizens and no amount of shirking their responsibility or ducking blame changes that.

EDIT:

I was under the impression we were not talking about countries that have been legitimately harmed by the US's actions. I thought we were talking about people that have no reason to hate the US besides some imagined moral superiority.

"legitimately harmed"

Hell of a phrase there.

How do you define that? Was 9/11 a "legitimate" response to past American actions overseas or does "legitimate harm" only count when the U.S. does it? It kind of sounds like you define legitimacy in the same way that the schoolyard bully justifies their actions.

"Sorry, Iraq. The 3000+ civilians who were killed by American air assaults in the first week of the war.....that was all "legitimate harm". You really shouldn't resent us over that."

 

[blind_dead_mcjones]

disturbing metaphors aside, i found this a tad funny, though i haven't played black ops yet so i'l withhold my opinion until i've played it

Why not invade Australia?

many reasons

1: its like invading russia, except you don't get the luxury of walking home (you have to swim home instead)
2: too expensive and unecenomical (why conquer it for the mineral resources when you can just buy them instead, for a much cheaper price)
3: we try not to piss off our neighbours too much (or alternatively we're too lazy to piss them off)
4: it didn't really end well for the last country that tried to invade australia

 

[Rannxz]

Why not invade Australia?

many reasons

1: its like invading russia

No it's not. Russia is actually a challenge. Unless you mean, that they both have a large amount of land that inhospitable and virtually useless? Then I agree with you.

Why not invade Australia?

4: it didn't really end well for the last country that tried to invade australia

Forgive me if I'm wrong(I'm not too interested in Australian wars) but the last country to invade Australia was Japan during World War II. And if my history textbook was right, Australia wasn't doing too well until America assembled their army and launched their invasion in the Pacific.

Besides it wouldn't matter anyway. The US is friends with Australia.

 

[moostar]

i think that the review the yahtzee did was good but a little stranged out when he started talking about a new war i mean im i the only one who thinks that the u.s troops have been though enough lol

 

[Thorinair]

I was under the impression we were not talking about countries that have been legitimately harmed by the US's actions. I thought we were talking about people that have no reason to hate the US besides some imagined moral superiority.

"legitimately harmed"

Hell of a phrase there.

How do you define that? Was 9/11 a "legitimate" response to past American actions overseas or does "legitimate harm" only count when the U.S. does it? It kind of sounds like you define legitimacy in the same way that the schoolyard bully justifies their actions.

"Sorry, Iraq. The 3000+ civilians who were killed by American air assaults in the first week of the war.....that was all "legitimate harm". You really shouldn't resent us over that."

By legitimately harmed, I mean people who's countries, lives, families have been destroyed. I don't mean that "legitimate harm" is excusable, quite the opposite. You seem to have misunderstood me. I don't mean hating the US because the people here like war fantasies.

 

[Steady Drain]

deft usage of the words, 'fuck' and '****'. bravo!

 

[thepyrethatburns]

I was under the impression we were not talking about countries that have been legitimately harmed by the US's actions. I thought we were talking about people that have no reason to hate the US besides some imagined moral superiority.

"legitimately harmed"

Hell of a phrase there.

How do you define that? Was 9/11 a "legitimate" response to past American actions overseas or does "legitimate harm" only count when the U.S. does it? It kind of sounds like you define legitimacy in the same way that the schoolyard bully justifies their actions.

"Sorry, Iraq. The 3000+ civilians who were killed by American air assaults in the first week of the war.....that was all "legitimate harm". You really shouldn't resent us over that."

By legitimately harmed, I mean people who's countries, lives, families have been destroyed. I don't mean that "legitimate harm" is excusable, quite the opposite. You seem to have misunderstood me. I don't mean hating the US because the people here like war fantasies.

I did think that you were using it in the same sense as a lot of the political double-speak that is used by government/military spokesmen.

My apologies.

 

[Thorinair]

Yeah, I probably came across as a militaristic xenophobe. I'm not going to pretend that what the US does to other countries is right, but I will stand by the fact that we cannot stop a war once it begins. Plenty of people disagreed with the Iraq war, yet it continued. Protests, petitions, everything, none of this managed to stop it. Another example of an unpopular war that continued for no reason was would be the Vietnam War. But back to the war in the middle east. To be honest, I have no idea what kept it going. It's not very clear. Some say "oil," some idealists will say "a feeling that all places should have a fair democratic system," still others would argue "money," which I suppose is related to oil. But, I will say, the war did not continue because Americans love bombing people. But I digress, the point I'm trying to make is that it seems pretty audacious to say that America needs to be attacked despite leading a comfortable life without the US harming you. I can understand hating our government, but do not assume all Americans agree with what they do.

(I probably wasn't clear in this post either, I kinda rambled. Feel free to ask for clarifications.)

 

[Duster0821]

Ok let me start this off by saying this, I'm an American so fire at will, quite frankly I fear invasion more then anything because there are enough people with enough reason to make it feasible, now I consider myself politically active, I vote, I sign petitions, I write letters to my senators, I protested the Iraq War at protests and I got a whole lot of Diddly in return. I understand the hatred or even general discontent with America as a nation. My issue with all of this America bashing is the majority is coming from people who already have they're mind made up, so what is the point of arguing? Alas I am a fan of a lost cause but to lump all Americans in as one group is a massively poor decision being that there are so goddamn many of us with different opinions. The American political system is under the rule not of the government itself but of the two political parties neither of which seems to be able to adhere to what Americans actually want when they vote and voting for a third party candidate is effectively a wasted vote being that they claim less then 1% of the vote in any given election with a few exceptions. Granted I will be the first one to draft dodge should there be a draft over the occurrences in Korea or the War already in progress in the Middle East, unless I am defending people I care about or fighting for a cause I truly believe in I do not believe that I should be called upon to bring destruction down on other nations of there people and I certainly won't dirty my hands in the matter. Lets also not forget that many nations in Europe sent troops to the Middle East and that they like the US have people they have wronged, be it on a smaller scale or what have you yet everyone calls for American blood, the British had the largest Empire on Earth for a long time and nobody calls for blood in repentance for the slaughter of foreign natives, the French treated the African Nations under their control barbarically, the Belgians were the ones who began cutting off the arms of Africans as a means of imposing power, Russia invaded Georgia recently and held violent control over the Soviet Bloc for decades. Sure its easy to sit back in a nation that doesn't play on the global scale at all and call foul every misstep by larger powers but then everyone has 20/20 hindsight. I personally feel the United States has no place interfering with other nations agendas, if Korea wants civil war have at it, if the Africans want to keep fighting wars amongst themselves power to them and if the Taliban wants to hate America by all means after all American interference in the Middle East is only drawing people to their cause.

I guess the point I'm trying to make here is that Americans cannot all be held fully responsible for all the actions of the military or the White House, look at Vietnam, there were large protests and draft dodging and it still took years to end a loosing war. Americans also aren't the only ones dicking around on a global scale we just do it the most, and calling for the blood of people while you yourself have never been come to conflict with them or even been effected on a national scale just escalates an already violent world

 

[Vohn_exel]

I don't remember what I was gonna post in here so I'll just say MECHAGODZILLA!

 

[Andy of Comix Inc]

Come to think of it, quite a few of his reviews seem to hold quite a negative view of the US. And not good-natured jabs, but arrogant, self-righteous attacks. I wonder what we did to make him feel like this.

Delaying of game's release dates from the power regions (Americas and Japan), and the region he is currently residing (Europe and Australasia). Trying saying nice things about Americans when they're withholding, say, Rock Band 3 for four months for absolutely no bloody good reason. It can drive a man insane.

Also, a lot of this sort of media comes from the US. You have to consider how an outsider would perceive those in charge of the industries when shit like The Expendables comes rolling out on a monthly basis, like clockwork.

 

[Thorinair]

Come to think of it, quite a few of his reviews seem to hold quite a negative view of the US. And not good-natured jabs, but arrogant, self-righteous attacks. I wonder what we did to make him feel like this.

Delaying of game's release dates from the power regions (Americas and Japan), and the region he is currently residing (Europe and Australasia). Trying saying nice things about Americans when they're withholding, say, Rock Band 3 for four months for absolutely no bloody good reason. It can drive a man insane.

Also, a lot of this sort of media comes from the US. You have to consider how an outsider would perceive those in charge of the industries when shit like The Expendables comes rolling out on a monthly basis, like clockwork.

Again blaming the wrong people. I mean it's not like the American people have meeting every week in which we decide what horrible show to ship off to the rest of the world and which fun games to withhold for half a year. Nope, nothing like that ever happens. No, I'm not denying anything.The very idea is absurd. Now, I need to go schedule a meeting unrelated to anything I just said.

 

[The Cheezy One]

Hopefully we'll all love Homefront!
And yes, zombies do seem to be a necessary requirement now.

It does look amazing. The story sounds like just the thing Yahtzee wants. And the multiplayer looks really fun. Hopefully it will be packed with sweet weapons too.

Then why is your avatar completely unrelated to homefront in every way?
THQ have got to be my favourite publisher, they have a reputation for taking risks and going for more interesting games - see Metro 2033, Saints row 2, STALKER shadow of chernobyl, Finding Nemo the game -, and Kaos studios is an offshoot of THQ. The one thing I am wary of, is that this will become Metro 2027: USA. Don't get me wrong, It will make it great 2033 had some excellent visuals, but was very linear, so all the visuals shot by a bit too fast. I'll still get it anyway, but something I am worrying about

 

[Solon5694]

The more of these that I watch, the more I want to buy his book and the less I want to buy overpriced poorly written video game sequels. You play your cards well Yahtzee.