Zero Punctuation: Call of Duty: Black Ops

[Inujade]

I liked this review except for ONE THING. The Metaphorical Virgin America probably should have been a boy. I've never known a girl to sit around thinking about losing her virginity the way he describes...But in High School I met plenty of dudes who would literally beg for some girl, any girl, to de-virgin them. Some of them to the point of harassment.

America, with all it's super soldier war games, reminds me of those young guys who tell all their friends they gave every girl they ever met ten thousand orgasms, despite their only experience being a quick handjob in the parking lot. They're getting more antsy to actually DO IT because they're afraid all the other countries are going to find out the truth and make fun of them.

Just my two cents.

 

[spartandude]

he wants a war, trust me it will happen soon enough

 

[Night Knight]

Yahtzee i wish you could actually talk with the American gaming companies and get them to f#cking stop making the same game just different titles and blablabla. Its always America basically doing whatever the f#ck it wants in regards to war. Personally in a Canadian's oppinion why dont we have a war game were WE ARE ACTUALLY IN IT!! I mean come on! Canadians have to fight along side the Americans, although we fight for the right reasons, Americans just shoot whatever they want and think it justice. Regardless Yahtzee is right about it all, America wants another war so badely they're litterally trying to piss the world off so they can fight again. Think I'm wrong? Does the term WEAPONS OF MASS DISTRUCTION ring any bells, i thought so. I hope the USA gets its war and they lose but the attackers leave Canada and Mexico and everywhere else that people enjoy alone. I have nothing against Americans a few of them are actually nice people (Movie Bob being a good example) but America as a whole is bloody bat-sh#t crazy retarted. This is just an opinion so dont shun me for saying something that might just be the truth. Truth hurts fokes, get use to it. Yahtzee is awesome =)

hahaha truth hurts...but truth also points out that everyone in this world are dicks to pretty much the same degree if you look at the spectrum as a whole

I like how you said Canada cuz ur Canadian but then again people would probably wouldn't notice Canada (lucky) anyway
Mexico...what would the world do without their drug trade!

but yeah sure, let's have another war so we can all have something to do except yell insults at each other on YouTube ><
I notice North and South Korea have started something...let's have at it

edit: oh oh Canadians are in Call of Duty 3 I heard, maybe check that out? my friend told me so I don't know for sure

I agree that people are dicks but its hard to say everyone, the nation in which you live can be war craving morons (America) but the individual can be a kind person and one who is liked in todays community. I am lucky to live in a place where we strive for peace instead of war, we as Canadians are peace keepers. Im always glad to hear an American agree when they say the USA has some.... ok ALOT of problems XD.

edit: It might be true that there would be Canadians in Call of Duty 3, but I was hoping that Canadians would be shown as the true peace keepers everyone knows we are.

 

[supersixfour]

This was one of the best ZPs in a long time, probably one of my favorites of all time!

So predictable. What's the point of reviewing games everyone knows you'll hate?

You haven't seen a lot of episodes of Zero Punctuation yet, have you? The entire point is that he completely shreds games, it's supposed to be funny and not a serious review.

Don't get me wrong I like ZP, but these reviews lack meaning when Yahtzee's opinion is literally a foregone conclusion. I didn't need to watch the review to know he'd hate the game or complain about the whole American thing.

you don't watch to find out if he hates a game or not thats a generally accepted trait of all of his reviews, you watch to see all of the flaws of the game brought up and hilariously made fun of

 

[Iron Lightning]

Well, now that North Korea is shelling the crap out of South Korea, America may very well get into another war. It's a bit sad that all of the countries capable of matching the United States in conventional warfare now have nuclear weapons, so we can't fight them. So what America has to do is go to war with multiple developing nations at once, it's like hiring two or three cheap whores to try to get the satisfaction one would get with one expensive whore. It's pretty sad.

Also, I quite enjoyed this video and I must say that you (by which I mean Yahtzee) have been really improving recently. That's not to say that your old videos are poor, mind you, it's more like transmuting silver into gold.

 

[supersixfour]

We Americans DO need another World War
My flamethrower has just been gathering dust since random street barbeques lost their appeal

I know what you mean, my american flagpole/spear hasn't killed anyone since the reagan administration

 

[ramboondiea]

hahah yahtzee asope: lets have a war.
also did anybody else have stuck in the middle with you playing in their heads during the ending?

 

[Jaeriko]

I don't understand how people found the single player campaign confusing.

Made perfect sense to me, even the "glass-in-the-mouth guy" joining your party made sense considering the horrible life-ending gas that was leaking through his house and the Spetznaz forces trying to kill him.

 

[Steve the Pocket]

That metaphor was disturbingly on the nose. And probably the only thing worth mentioning about this game besides zombies. I had hoped you'd say something about the shameless shoehorning-in of bonus content like that, even though (from the looks of it*; I haven't bought the game because... well yeah) it might have made a decent game in its own right. It's not enough that we get the campaigns bundled with only-vaguely-related deathmatches to force everyone to buy two games for the price of two; now they're throwing in completely unrelated games and not even packaging it as the Orange Box-esque bundle it clearly is.

Maybe that'll be the focus of next week's column.

*Seriously, a co-cop zombie game with JFK, Nixon, and Castro? Sounds like the best Left 4 Dead mod never made!

 

[Frederf]

Yahtzee just said "disorientated" didn't he?

 

[Electrogecko]

I can't believe I'm reading comments seriously saying we need another world war. For that matter, anybody who thinks that the U.S' obsession with shooting games has anything to do with a desire for a real war or will be quelled by one is stupid. That's like saying everyone should go farm some crops and raise some livestock to get off their obsession with Farmville. The fact is that FPS' are great massive and competetive multiplayer hosts....that's it. Noboby invade us please.

 

[Master Chibi]

Dun dah dun dah dun dah dun dah dun dun
Inspector Gadget
Dun dah dun dah dun dah dun dah dun dun
Wahoooo~

 

[Malikk]

Kinda funny when people start posting that korea is the real war hungry country when the US have massacred a gazillion innocent people over the past 50 years.

Astonishing really.

 

[vcdaniels]

Personally, I'm quite effin' tired and annoyed of Duty calling every 6 months to a year. Can we have a Call of Duty where America is destroyed? Really. We need a good ass whupping because we're getting to be like that annoying, obnoxious sports jock, trust-fund baby that just doesn't have a bit of class to tell him when to STFU anymore.

 

[Faerillis]

Couldn't agree more Yahtzee, but we need two more years then America will have another guy in power who thinks the American army shits out rainbows and can take on the world all on their own... *basking in the near ecstacy of a world with America getting broken into many different nations*

 

[TheMonkeySlayer]

All I have to say is: