Zero Punctuation: Duke Nukem Forever

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sora100100

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Mar 5, 2009
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Very good. I thought it was out but then I realised that... well(For all you arseholes that don't know how to type, or read.) I just got n00bd lolololol
Very funny and I was confused at first but it made sense XD.
Can I ride ponies under the see with you next time Yahtzee, you promised *sniff*
 

Christemo

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Jan 13, 2009
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awesome video, but the game was never released, it was all yahtzees brilliant fantasy. obviously fake, but still awesome XD.
 

Owly

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Feb 23, 2009
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wow, over 500 posts in under 24 hours..
anyway, i really enjoyed this- certainly a new favourite xD I never realised anyone could talk into a microphone for that long and that fast without taking a breath :O
oh an in response to 'Nightv'...I find it pretty unlikely that anyone will think it a real review...I mean I was doubtful for a second, but Yahtzee makes it pretty clear that its a joke...
 

GLaDOS-

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May 21, 2009
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sora100100 said:
Very good. I thought it was out but then I realised that... well(For all you arseholes that don't know how to type, or read.) I just got n00bd lolololol
Very funny and I was confused at first but it made sense XD.
Can I ride ponies under the see with you next time Yahtzee, you promised *sniff*
No! Yahtzee promised me first! Also, loved the video! Was a little confused till I realised it wasn't released yet. >.<
 

The_SCSIBug

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Mar 6, 2009
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I'm awe-struck. This video is my new most-favorite of favorites. It's practically prophetic. It started with a simple enough premise: jaded vaporware irony. Yet Croshaw sharpened it to a razor's edge and polished it to a mirror shine.

I was one of those gamers whom didn't find 3D Realms' troubles consciously surprising. Yet on the edges of my perception there was a quiet, baseless, lingering hope that someone, somewhere might pick up the franchise and run with it. Watching this edition of Zero Punctuation, I couldn't help but smile as Croshaw reflected the utter futility in those hopes as he slashed them neatly from my unconscious mind. He gave me a much-needed mental haircut.

I would go so far as to call this video culturally refined if it weren't for all the ubiquitous "naughty words." And I loved every one! It's ultra-sarcasm taken to a new level. Well done, Yahtzee!

Now, let's see what you can do to top it.

P.S.:

Bellvedere said:
ark123 said:
It finally happened. Yahtzee's tongue went through his cheek and wounded the part of his brain responsible for judging what's funny.
I'll help. ZP works because you have SEVERAL jokes in an episode, and you REVIEW something people care about.
This had ONE joke stretched out over five minutes and it was about something only video game reviewers care about. What's more, it's a joke we've all either heard or made.
Stop saying it's funny, you sycophants. The emperor has no clothes on.
Nicely said! Now someone just needs to tell him that strange sound effects are not a satisfying substitute for a witty joke. I mean seriously it was funny once (well maybe twice) but doing it every episode? This weeks was so forced too...
I would argue that only someone who doesn't truly get the jokes could say this submission was something no one cared about. This ZP is like gallows' humor at a beloved family member's bedside; it's a great way to ease the pain. Also, it codifies nicely what we've all been wondering, joking about, and debating for years: yes, we bet on a bunch of losers. As a result, we lost.

Cut open a cynic and you'll find a wounded optimist. Such well-crafted sarcasm like Yahtzee's ultimately comes from disappointment. So many of us knew this project was dead, yet we didn't want to admit it to ourselves or each other. So we quipped superficially about how great the game had better be... how easy it should be to make a 3D game... how little we looked forward to yet another misogynistic, T&A-strewn video game. But at the end of the day, the majority of us -- especially amongst those of us frequently discussing it -- wanted to see a new Duke Nukem title hit the shelves. 3D Realms leveraged that desire into more than a decade's-worth of misdirection.

Ultimately, as gamers, we all got conned a little by 3D Realms. Hence why Yahztee's "not tragic" construct rings so true. Seeing a company held to account for its failure is definitely not tragic; it's righteous. Especially since so many of us grew just a little more jaded when that door finally closed for good.

P.P.S.: "...strange sound effects?" You do know he does those with his mouth, right?
 

Metalrocks

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Jan 15, 2009
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lol. i knew it. i knew as soon i saw "reviews duke nukem forever" that he will make jokes about it. i mean, hell, 12 damn years and still no duke. in a german gamer forum i am in, few posted even a link that 3d realms dint had much money and even stopped the production of duke nukem. if its true, i cant say, just what i have read there.

well, it was funny and i agree with him. shame on 3d realms for takeing so fucking long with nothing in the end.
 

Infinium

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May 28, 2009
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Long time watcher, first time poster:

Love this one, enough to make me register and post :)

Great episode Jahtzee! :D
 

gxs

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Apr 16, 2009
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Super Jamz said:
How many actually thought the game was released when they started watching this video?
When i watched the video i was like "umm... did they set a release date... so they're not publishing demos just so they can jump on us with the final product that no one is expecting?" and then he mentioned cooking. :D
 

Doug

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Apr 23, 2008
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Hamster at Dawn said:
The game is broken, I've smashed at least 50 wii fit boards and no achievement!
You also need to have the gun that shoots dogs on screen when the WiiFit is smashed.
 

L4Y Duke

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Nov 24, 2007
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I'm not sure if he did DNF purely for the humour value, because he didn't have anything better to review or to shut up all the forumgoers that say he never makes stuff up.

But, who cares. This was an awesome video. Good work Mr. Croshaw!

I think I'll wait until the Eternal Pack DLC comes out before I get DNF.
 

4fromK

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Apr 15, 2009
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this is great.
The jaded little fuck inside of me has been wondering why the internet was being so nice to 3Drealms. Naughty Internet! I didn't even dare to dream that Yahtzee would tear DNF a new one. I did a massive double take when I saw the vid title. and wow... this must have a lot of hits cos it has a shitload of responses, and it hasn't been out for a day yet.
Bellvedere said:
Cut open a cynic and you'll find a wounded optimist.
That shit is deep, man. Is it yours, or are you quoting?
 

nixomose

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Apr 24, 2009
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It occurs to me that initials for Duke Nukem Forever is DNF, as in Did Not Finish.
Maybe the big joke was always on us.
 

the1ultimate

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Apr 7, 2009
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There is a point when something you hold copyright to becomes worthless.
That Duke Nukem dude does seem a little like an outdated stereotype. Gordon Freeman totally overshadows any space Duke Nukem might once have almost occupied.
And modern audiences can empathize with him i.e.
Alyx: "man of few words huh?"
Gordon: " "

3d Realms: "When did Yahtzee visit our offices?"
 

elvor0

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Sep 8, 2008
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Nightv said:
As of this video I will not watch any more of the stuff on this website besides brawl, as you have much like an other person on this site that makes videos, done your research.

You do know they were self funded for the majority of the time, as well as they only got a small bit of money to work on it for take two.

And people that do not know otherwise watch this an think this is the real thing of what is going on.

Really now.... Why don't you do some research, or fuck right off. Any one is good at this point as your videos are more for shock value then, your old videos that where review value.
I'm going to go out on a limb here, because this is such a monumentally stupid post, I can't believe its a troll.

Oh grow a pair, 3D realms are not an Indie company, they don't need defending from people like you, and they certainly don't need defending at all, full fledged games companies should not take 12 years to create a game, end of. I don't care if they only got a little bit of money from Take Two, that doesn't make 12 years of work with almost nothing to show, let alone a playable demo justifiable.
 

SilentScream

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Apr 11, 2009
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I started laughing as soon as I saw the video was on DNF. I knew hilarity would ensue. Another masterpiece by Yahtzee.