Zero Punctuation: Fable 3

[Bang25]

Why would anyone believe that a giant black blob was going to kill them?

"Hey, now that i'm King, i'm going to triple your taxes, destroy the ecosystem for profit and make everyone have 23 hour work shifts. Don't worry though, it's for the better! A giant black blob is going to destroy the world and kill all of you, so I need the money to prepare to fight it, I PROMISE. Oh, and i'm turning the only orphanage into a brothel. PEACE OUT!"

I'm sure ANYONE would believe that!

EDIT: Also, most of the evil decisions are permanent. You can't drain a lake so that you can mine the ground for resources and then just fill it back up. You can't just cut down a gigantic forest for lumber and then act as if nothing happened. Making children work in factories to survive would destroy their chance at education and throw the kingdom into economic repression and possibly a miniture dark age.

Edit again: I liked Fable 3. I'm not going to say that it was a great game, because it wasn't. But it was a good game, and I had fun playing it.

Edit Again AGAIN: I just remembered that my avatar is wearing Fable 3 King armor. :]

 

[WarpGhost]

"Gold star Peter"

"But no..."

Oh I am glad you did a retrospective on this game, that was a hilarious review

 

[Vrach]

I wonder why he keeps playing the fables since he's hated them since peter first asked him to review te first one

Perhaps because there's just about fuck-all on the market right now, as he said at the start (that's not meant as an aggressive sentence btw). I mean hell, he was reviewing iPhone games a few weeks back.

Game releases seem very shy until March or so. It's gonna be a good year, but most of the good stuff is in Q3/Q4 with several late Spring releases.

 

[Lance Arrow]

Honestly, I loved all of the Fable games.

But Fable 3 was just plain shit. I really have no other way of saying it.

 

[Bang25]

I liked Dragon Age: Origions moral choice system. You don't get good or evil points on a bar, but your decisions change what your companions think of you. The game will never tell you that what you did was really evil or good, but your companions will tell you what THEY think from their own moral perspective.
Say that you find a soldier hiding from a fight you just had with his squad. He begs for his life. You choose to be "Evil"

"Coward. You call yourself a soldier! (Kill him.)"

Sten approves, because he comes from a strict military order, and any soldier who disobeys orders,(or any warrior who runs from battle) would be executed. Mercy is weakness.

Lelians dissapproves. How could you strike down an unarmed man as he begged for his life? He could have gone, started over. If he was that afraid of fighting, then surely that man would never have fought again.
Mercy is a virtue.

That's pretty much how it worked. You could make them like you a little more by giving them gifts, but it's mostly your decisions that affect their disposition towards you.

 

[Boaal]

So it's like an expansion on Neverwinter Nights 2 then. But about five years late...

 

[Racecarlock]

I love it when Yahtzee makes some uber strong and valid points about the games he is reviewing.
Seriously how is getting money to LIVE an act of EVIL???? :O
IF the population knew what was gona happen they`d freaking throw their money at him....
Anyway this was one of my favorite episodes ) seems to me yahtzee is going back on track

Has anyone ever noticed that LIVE is EVIL backwards and vice versa? Weird, huh?

Anyways, think of it like this yahtzee, now that you've reviewed fable 3, people will shut up about it now, won't they? If anything that's probably the only positive thing you'll get out of playing and reviewing the game.

 

[Tempest13]

I'm pretty much on the bandwagon of, "Fable...why play it?" and this excellent review only helps to serve that point. Shallow and annoying NPCs, everything else is mediocre.

 

[Bang25]

Moral choice systems get a lot of flak, but this might honestly be the worst example I've ever seen. How is ignoring mortal danger for an easy present "good" and asking the people to work and sacrifice to avoid that danger "evil"? Are the people that brainless and short-sighted? I guess this game really does have monarchical mindset; the childlike petulance of the people is just another obstacle for the only person with power.

Okay. You are an ass. YOU are short sighted. If your taxes were raised, your enviornment destroyed, and you were actually FORCED to work double shifts so that you could pay more taxes, with the excuse for it being "A terrible evil from the other side of the world is coming to kill you, I promise!" would you believe it, especially if no proof was presented? Would you destroy your own life on the slim chance that MAYBE a giant black blob was going to destroy your home and kill you? Who follows that kind of logic?

You should be able to balance the need for profit and still make your people happy. Saving everyone would fuck up their lives. They would be alive but they would live in misery.

 

[Giest4life]

This put a big smile on my face But seriously, I'm glad I didn't shell out 59.99 for this one (I would've, had it been on the PC). Hilarious as ever.

 

[Caldarin]

I know this has been brought up already, but why can't I go Julio-Claudian on Reaver's ass (and by that I mean kill him and seize his assets)...
People keep raving about how Fable is all about choice... but when I actually think I'll have the chance to make a choice I've wanted to make since the end of the 2nd game (killing Reaver), it's sadly not there... It's not like it'd even be that evil of an act... I mean, you watch him kill people in cold blood...

also

Why did the world jump 150 game days ahead? Some warning would have been nice... you know... a "pushing this button causes Armageddon"

but yeah, agreed with everything he said

 

[samaugsch]

I love it when Yahtzee makes some uber strong and valid points about the games he is reviewing.
Seriously how is getting money to LIVE an act of EVIL???? :O
IF the population knew what was gona happen they`d freaking throw their money at him....
Anyway this was one of my favorite episodes ) seems to me yahtzee is going back on track

Has anyone ever noticed that LIVE is EVIL backwards and vice versa? Weird, huh?

Anyways, think of it like this yahtzee, now that you've reviewed fable 3, people will shut up about it now, won't they? If anything that's probably the only positive thing you'll get out of playing and reviewing the game.

If he has trouble looking for other games to review, he could review Half Life 2. (He's already reviewed Silent Hill 2. Why not Half Life?)

 

[Danpascooch]

I got fucked by that 150 day thing too! I had to play the ENTIRE GAME OVER to do it right.

Seriously!? A fucking warning would have fixed it all

 

[jonyboy13]

Glad to see I'm not the only one wondering why people play Fable

 

[MB202]

I actually liked this one, because he went into the moral dilemma of choosing between being nice and thousands dying or being mean saving everyone, and it still just says one is good and one is bad, when really, it's gray and gray.

 

[MrMajenta]

i'm amazed. i thought molineyuxioumw, er, that peter guy with the french name i can never spell right, i figured he had been removed from the franchise, i mean, as far as i know this is the most under publicized game in the franchise's history. i mean, i didn't even hear about it until a month after it came out, and i'm a fable fanboy (i'm not proud of it). so unless i've been living under a rock (evidenced by the fact that i like fable) then it was my impression that molineux hadn't been blathering on about it, and therefore he had been given a gag order
by third party developers
in a secret moon base
on the other side of the sun

i would consider getting this one, but the wasps in my xbox are on strike so it's in brick status

 

[BrotherRool]

The life story of Fable, interesting sounding complex ideas unsupported by cookie cutter obvious and shallow mechanics

 

[aaronmcc]

Of course Mark Heap is still in work! One of the greatest British talents alive, who else will fix your TV if lizards are coming out of it?

OT:What is this spam filter shit we have now? I've never seen spam on these forums and it certainly has nowhere near the issues IGN has. Unnecessary.