Zero Punctuation: Final Fantasy XIII

[Jonesy911]

I have to agree with Yahtzee, I fell out of love with Final Fantasy around the same time (although I still liked 7&8)

 

[Trebort]

My hero!

 

[Scrit]

Even though I enjoyed the game far more than you did (after the twentieth hour...), I still agree with every complaint you have with the series. WAAAY too many cut-scenes and too much melodrama.

And WHAT, WHAT, WHAT!!! Yahtzee likes Final Fantasy 6?!

Great review as usual.

 

[Snork Maiden]

I'm in the "this game is pretty good" camp.

Then again I think SoulSilver is the best thing ever so what do I know.

You can read it again and realize how stupid you are.

You could, perhaps, realise that the point is still there regardless of the hyperbole in my numbers.

You mean if 90% of the game is awesome then 10% is still shit?

Because with that kind of ratio I agree this game must totally suck!

 

[Rayansaki]

You can read it again and realize how stupid you are.

You could, perhaps, realise that the point is still there regardless of the hyperbole in my numbers.

Because a small percentage of the game is worst than the other slice, doesn't mean it is bad at all. It's just not as good.

 

[geizr]

You know this video reminds me of something I see more and more of these days: gamers are sensitive little bitches who complain about every last goddamned thing. For example, Yahtzee pointing out a "weak" character like Hope carrying around a weapon-grade boomerang. Back in the day we would just file this sort of thing under "videogame weirdness" like Samus turning into a ball or Mario's raccoon tail allowing him to fly, then proceed to enjoy the hell out it. But now people nitpick everything for "breaking immersion" or some other such nonsense.

If SMB3 were released today with no franchise history there would be 10 page dissertations on the internet screaming about how the warp whistles "ruin the game" and endless threads about how Luigi is an "Emo ******."

I don't normally bother writing into a ZP thread because I usually mentally stamp the whole thing with "For entertainment purposes only." However, this post caught my eye, and I have to tip my hat to you Mr. Grampy_bone. In my years of game playing, I have come to the same observation about the current generation of gamers: they are just super-sensitive emo critters.

If you don't like the game, fine, don't play it. If you do like the game, fine, just play it and have fun. It doesn't matter what Yahtzee or anyone else thinks, because this is a matter of personal preference and aesthetics. However, this constant need by some gamers to validate their personal opinion, preference, or choice by brow-beating everyone into their particular viewpoint is getting old. At times, it's worse than religious fanatics.

Me, personally, I play the game, and I like the story and the development of the characters(I'm about 40 hours into it). Whether it is something that I will play multiple times remains to be seen until after I actually finish it(my personal definition of replay value is how much I want to play a game again for the sheer pleasure of playing it, rather than how many easter-eggs and achievements there are to grind).

On a note of immersion and realism, in my opinion, a game doesn't have to be realistic to achieve immersion. It only has to establish a self-consistent universe of rules and operation and not deviate from that. If I want realism, I just wake up in the morning; I don't pay a game-developer $50-60 to attempt to create it.

 

[Singularly Datarific]

Off-topic: I thought you'd review God Of War 3 by now, especially since the videos earlier this year alluded to that...

 

[kufudo]

First time poster, long time fan.

I just had to sign up to say that I'm absolutely OUTRAGED at the poor review of what is the best game ever made! Yeah, it starts a little slow, but it gets much, MUCH bett... hehe, I'm just kidding

This game really, truly sucks. I forced myself through it only because I was a massive fan of the series (but possibly no more). No, it doesn't get any better. The whole game you're running in a straight line, except for a single area towards the end of the game (after 20+ hours of extreme linearity and boredom) in which you get to stretch your legs a little, but only to discover there's nothing to do really. There's no NPCs, no towns, no nothing...just a large green plane full of the same 5 enemies cloned over and over...

And on the story side, the characters are extremely irritating for the first 15 to 20 hours, after which no one really gives a damn any more. There's no connection to the characters or their circumstances.

The game looks pretty, but it's boring and pointless as hell. I regret all the hours I put into it. Like others said, it's more fun watching Law & Order on TV then playing this sh!t.

 

[MB202]

Nice to hear you liked Final Fantasy VI!

 

[domicius]

First!

 

[Andrew Mukon]

Mr Yahtzee seems to really hate JRPGs, for Four reasons
1) bad clothing choices
2) Bad combat systems (TB Menus...)
3) Angst
4) Long Narratives

But i found a JRPG that didn't do "most" of those 4.
The titles are "Dark Cloud 1 & 2" They are fairly old (PS2) but they used "cartoony" graphics and made the best of the engine.
If anyone remembers these two titles, The combat was real-time, the characters "colorful" and was .... dare i say it... fun to play (unlike "work" that FF-X was- though FF-X did have its points)

 

[funkzillabot]

Never ever have I agree with you more. And the game DOESN'T change, not even when you get to Pulse. Yeah, they let you off the leash for 5 minutes, only to chain you back up until the end of the game. So don't let anyone fool you with that, "It get better after... bluh, bluh, bluh" because it doesn't EVER. You were just smart enough to stop playing it after 5 hours, instead of 100 hours.

 

[2113||Meriyas]

Classic Yahtzee by my opinion. I can't wait to hit up the mana bar personally

 

[Wakefield]

I love Final Fantasy 13 and this review was hilarious. We just have different opinions is all.

I loved the part about Vanille acting like she's from space.

 

[xanith02100]

Yeah, I thought Final Fantasy VI was the peak of the series too.

My thoughts exactly. Glad to see Yahtzee did appreciate "JRPGs" back in the days where they didn't suck ass as well.

 

[franklinbadge]

OKAY, SO. The chocobo in Sazh's afro. Can we all agree to start calling it "frocobo"? Yes?

im slightly more partial to chocofro

 

[Wounded Melody]

This is slowly becoming the 'we love FF6' thread--YAY!
And I guess I have a bit of differing opinion because I didn't play the game, but watched the playthrough on Youtube (skipping the pointless battles). As a stand alone movie, I think the storyline and characters were very good, maybe if you don't have the battles bogging you down you can appreciate the storyline better. So...maybe they should have just made this a movie?

ETA: I'm also sad Yahtzee didn't get a chance to give his opinion on Fang and Vanille's 'relationship'.

 

[Fidelias]

I thought it was hilarious, even though I do kinda like FF13.

 

[Keepitclean]

Awesome review, much better than the crap that he has been spirting out for the last few months. Looks like ZP is getting good again.

 

[Sjakie]

I LOL'd very hard at the "Hope" description. And bashing FF (or jrpg's in general) allthough easy and not very nice for the fans, never gets old in my book. And Yathzee does it with such passion.

(yes i am evil that way)