Zero Punctuation: Final Fantasy XIII

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ProtoChimp

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Feb 8, 2010
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Suskie said:
OKAY, SO. The chocobo in Sazh's afro. Can we all agree to start calling it "frocobo"? Yes?
FROCOBO FTW!

On topic though this was the first fial fantasy game I actually liked.
 

sougo13

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Sep 11, 2009
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only 5 freaking hours?

I don't mind if you rip the game into pieces but at least try go through with it. Otherwise don't even bother.

This week espisode is completely pointless
 

twaddle

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Nov 17, 2009
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i'm an ff fanboy but i don't believe tesuya nomura shit is gold and smells like cinamon sunshine and rainbows.
 

Vorpal Chill

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Mar 31, 2010
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ZippyDSMlee said:
Like Dragon age FF13 is a more simple than it should be action game disguised as a AAA RPG............

Vorpal Chill said:
canadamus_prime said:
Yeah, I thought Final Fantasy VI was the peak of the series too.
Ditto.
FF9 was the best mechanic wise FF6 story wise.
I enjoyed FF9, but that was the last one I could possibility play. FF10 was where I drew the line.
 

tzeneth

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I laughed at the review but, as people are probably posting right now as I type this, the time cards really broke up the build and flow of the review with complete dead space. If the dead space was intentional, I fail to see its effective use.

As has been said a hundred times before: I liked the credits animation.
 

thebreadbinman

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Jan 24, 2010
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sent it to my mate in the hope that he'll realise he's wasting his life and could be putting his wrists to better use
good luck with barness (Y)
 

Syntax Man

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Apr 8, 2008
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Yahtzee hating a JRPG? I am surprise!!


in all seriousness I really like the game, because the story has actually engaged my (HELL of a lot more than I can say about 7, 8, 10 or to a lesser extent 12) and the combat is awesome.
 

stok3r

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Dec 23, 2009
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JakeX said:
stok3r said:
JakeX said:
Well theres bits i do agree with and bits i dont agree with.
And i hardly call it a fair review of playing 5 hours of it. (Yes he was busy and all that blah i know ¬¬)

I mean if they guy can play through Heavy Rain then he should pull up his big boy trousers and stop whining about the old days! Its modern day, things need to change and hey at least Square have tried!.........though they have lost their way when they merged with Enix.
Dude.. Enix is like the best company, mainly for their Star Ocean games, and I like the combo, you know, X-2 and shit. EH.
Meh if you like those games, thats fine with me.
Just merely pointing out how the level of awesome dropped when that merge happened. Think about it ;)
In terms of FF, yeah maybe, but in general older games tend to be better than new ones. Also there were alot more FFs before the merge than after.

But still, FFVIII is one of the best, so your right in that respect lol
 

Baconmonster723

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Mar 4, 2009
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I have to agree with Yahtzee on this. I finished the game, but the first 30 hours are painful. The only thing that kept me going was the the fact that if I stopped I'd feel like a quitter. The story is mediocre (the beginning is awful), the characters have no depth, the villians (other than the MAIN MAIN villian) can hardly be considered villians, the combat is fun but the party AI is awful. All in all this game was a massive disappointment, it was a series of linear corridors that only serve as going from point A to point B for a cutscene every 5 minutes.

Returned it the day after I beat it. It's mediocre at best. Which is a shame because I expected them to make a quality game after it looked so good. Serves me right after thinking Uncharted 2 would be great and turned out to be mediocre as well. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame one me.
 

Garfy

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Nov 6, 2009
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Although I like the game I do have to agree about one thing, the footsteps really are very loud!
 

Sylocat

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Nov 13, 2007
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By the way, can you find me one video game with female characters about which there ISN'T erotic fanart floating around?
 

DannyDeparted

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Mar 12, 2008
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Weak Yahtzee, weak. I agree the first five hours were poorly paced and very little of the story was immediately apparent; however many of the plot-holes you're having a cry about are filled later on through means of flashbacks to the lead up of where you take control of the characters. To say other crap like character development is poor and combat feels hollow, is kind of redundant when you've played such a small fraction of the game. Your complaints are like a man who walks out at the beginning of star wars complaining about having to read all the flying words and claiming no emotional connection to the characters in aforementioned flying dialogue.
I'm sure there was some other shit in your video but true to your style Ben I can't be bothered reviewing the whole thing. I look forward to your reviews of the first 13 minutes of Harry Potter Lego and the first 23 seconds of Iron man 2 'the video-game'.
Try and actually commit yourself to a project this week instead of just having a cry that the plot doesn't resolve itself in the first 8th of the game.
 

child of lileth

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Jun 10, 2009
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I really expected some jokes about how when the game came out in Japan it was named, "The First Great PS3 Tunnel Simulator", by people who actually sat through the whole thing. The lack of exploration was mentioned and all, but I guess it really doesn't sink in a ton from just 5 hours (no idea how few minutes of actual gameplay that would be myself).
 

starwarsgeek

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Nov 30, 2009
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I only made it to the second boss before giving up on the game. I really wish Square would play through their single digit games and try to incorporate the best qualities of those again.
...or make another Chrono game...please
 

reg42

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Mar 18, 2009
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Yeah... That was pretty unprofessional. I'm a fan and everything, but I mean c'mon. I'm still gonna pick up this game, it looks awesome.

P.S.: I did however enjoy the credit animation.
 

Vorpal Chill

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Mar 31, 2010
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Garfy said:
Although I like the game I do have to agree about one thing, the footsteps really are very loud!
Deafening. I could hear them in my sleep as my roommate was playing it.
 

Ultress

Volcano Girl
Feb 5, 2009
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It was an enjoyable review and it seems I'll love it for all the reasons Yahtzee hates.At this point though it's also getting a bit boring to listen to people rip on FFXIII and FF in general.
 

Pearwood

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I kind of feel for Yahtzee on this, I mean personally I love the game but he hates the genre and since he's an entertainer he doesn't really have any choice but to review it given how popular it is. What I liked about it was that the opening was essentially FF13 with a protagonist with more emotion than a fucking potato.

"The linearity in this instalment kills me too.
At least in prior games I had the feeling of a fairly large, open world from the word go, but eh..."

I agree to a point, the world of Cocoon does seem small and boxed in but the linearity did give a sense that my characters had one objective didn't care about anything else, it wouldn't exactly be in character for Lightning to talk about bringing down the entire government then seconds later run off on an irrelevant side quest to help NPC X. The stuff with Hope you can explain just by saying he's a l'Cie, he doesn't have any choice but to grab a boomerang and join the fray as Yahtzee puts it.