Zero Punctuation: Final Fantasy XIII

[daxterx2005]

I hope Yahtzee plays FFXIII Versus :V

Then we can hear more JRPG hatred

 

[signingupforgames]

This comment is so far back that no one will ever read it.


I think he hates the kooky chick. Just a feeling.

 

[Knight Templar]

Playing a final fantasy game for 5 hours and saying that you don't understand the story as yet is like watching the god father for 5 minutes and complaining about the story not making sense..literally.

Surely five hours is a bit long to keep players in the dark? You are arguing in FFIIX's favor with that point.

After about 2 hours into the game i understood the central element, "Pulse Fal'Cie are assholes that need to be destroyed." It's so funny that the average person that plays RPGS like this minds are so thick that they need everything to be spelled out for them.

I'd like to point out that everything you had after this was more-or-less unrelated to my point, next time put all the unrealted stuff above the quote. Unless all of what you said was directed at me, which is a diffrent issue.
Orientation should not take hours, you are clearly a fan, somebody who would pay attention, and it took you two hours to get the basics. That is a problem.

 

[Chunko]

Final Fantasy XIII

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Final Fantasy XIII.

Be sure to join the Zero Punctuation Facebook Fan Page [http://www.facebook.com/pages/Zero-Punctuation/7546255825].

Watch Video

More like Banal Fantasy 13.

 

[xmido]

agree with yahtzee with this one, final fantasy now is all flash no substance

 

[HotPotatoXD]

I saw FF13 i thought "this is going to be a good episode"...i was right like always

 

[spacebug]

WOAH! Finally someone else who actually noticed the aweful camera work of Bourne Ultimatum. I don't know how, but most other people I know who saw the movie didn't even notice.

It made me wonder whether there was an experimental down-under version which I saw, and another version for the rest of the world which was actually good.

 

[KidOblivion]

In my opinion I don't think he should've reviewed this game since he doesn't like JRPGs. It's like asking a 70 year old man to review he's thoughts on today's rap genre, u know wat to expect. Unless he likes it n other popular stuff today well in that case he's peter pan lol

 

[ovset]

This was the funniest review he's done in a while. I was getting worried for a while because his reviews were starting to bore me. I was laughing all the way through this one. Thanks Yahtzee.

 

[Optimystic]

Credit where it's due Yahtzee... I'd say the combat is a huge step forward. Sure you still can't get the characters to not be pillocks, but who knows? Maybe JRPGs will change that toHAHA, let's not get hasty.

 

[Steady Drain]

"After five hours, the only thing that surprised me was how I managed that much without chewing off my own face!"


But who cares, right? It was entertaining, and that's the only reason anyone ever watches these. Not that that's a bad thing.


i watch them for the review as well, and most of the time i agree with the cranky bastard.

 

[v3n0mat3]

I totally agree with him on the point that FFVI was the best one. I also loved the whole "spice" bit. Made me chuckle.

 

[deleted_scifidownbeat]

DELETED

 

[webchameleon]

Thanks for telling them what needed to be said, Croshaw.

 

[neilsaccount]

i think that he should have done metro 2033 instead of ff13

So instead of playing one bad game he should play another bad game? Is this what you're saying?

have you played metro 2033? i enjoyed it alot(besides the damn librarian bits)
but i dont know i just personally think he'd have more stuff to talk about if he did metro

 

[deleted+75193]

DELETED

 

[Vohn_exel]

There seems to be a couple of large valleys separating Final Fantasy fans. There's the 1-6 crowd, the 7-10 crowd, and the 11-13 crowd. None of these people can seem to really agree on whats a good FF game. I want more of the 7-10 stuff, most people want more of the 1-6 stuff, and several people seem to want alot more of the 12 or 13 type stuff. (Yes, those are factual statistics )

I...haven't really been playing 13 lately because admitedly I've been enjoying Torchlight and Ninja Gaiden Sigma alot more. I love Final Fantasy and the battle system in this one is pretty cool. It's really just the same thing as mashing attack(since you don't have to select magic) but it is fun. I loved the pretty environments but I have to say I do miss the towns and the airships and all that. Yes, I know that when you get to chapter 11 you can run around, but still, it's just not the same.

That being said, the Video was hilarious! This one was funnier then several of the ones before it, I especially loved the end cartoon with Vanille. I agree that the character's footsteps are really loud...but for some reason, I like that sound. So for me, that wasn't too bad, lol.

 

[Chiefwakka]

Lots of angst. I'm smelling another mailbag showdown, please oh please cause that was his best one IMO.

 

[JIMMYXD]

I actually saw the ManaBar when i was walking around Brisbane the other week. Want to go there so badly!

 

[dstryfe]

Y'know, I like this game. Yet, I find myself agreeing with Yahtzee at every turn. You are stuck marching down samey corridors with the same cast of 2 unlikeable twats, 1 Hope-lessly pathetic kid, 1 alien and 1 stereotype in an eerily familiar beginning to an endless display of CG that makes you wish it were a movie rather than a poorly-organized codex. Which actually does get better, given time. Plenty of time.

To it's credit, it's quite a pretty thing to look at, and I've actually started to warm to Lightning, of all characters. It helps that she's quite a pretty thing to look at...(noshutupandfocusdamnit) Oh, and Vanille is pretty neat.

Spoiler: Even with her random prattle...she's the only character who can cast Death.

...and she later gains the ability to eat worlds, but I guess that's a story for another time.