Zero Punctuation: Gears of War 3
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
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I've only played about two hours of GOW, the very first Gears, it was just so completely bland, bland dialogue, bland characters, bland game-play that I never felt even remotely compelled to return to it at any time. Easily one of the most overrated games of the last decade, the only reason it done so well is because of how it looked.
But then, i'm not much of an online shooter player, and i think this is where a lot of people have most fun with this game. Good luck to them.
Xbox really needs to start doing better with its exclusives heading into the next gen of consoles.
But then, i'm not much of an online shooter player, and i think this is where a lot of people have most fun with this game. Good luck to them.
Xbox really needs to start doing better with its exclusives heading into the next gen of consoles.
I'm a HUGE Gears of War fan, I bought the first one on PC and I got an Xbox just so I could play the second one. I can say without hyperbole Yahtzee is right on many accounts. The lambent were introduced in the second game, but it was minor and glazed over in one small part of a chapter. To anybody who has no vested interest in the universe they wouldn't have noticed or easily would have forgotten. The Gears games have not done a very good job of explaining anything to a normal person. I know what Anvil gate is, who Berni is, what lambency is and I know that because I read stuff on line, I bought a book, I had an interest in the universe and I did more research into it. A regular person wouldn't care enough to and as a result they're left with a story line that just seems bland and ordinary.
I remember playing with a friend of mine a few days ago and he asked me what was going on in the story line. I said "uuuuhhhhhhh" and I gave him some vague answers, because honestly this game's campaign was forgettable. It was full of rail shooters and filler sections. Nothing of real importance happens, it's just a series of roadblocks on Marcus's way to finding his dad. As I write this I'm trying to figure out why there was a section where the Gears went through a Locust base. I cannot for the life of me remember why and that's a perfect example of a poorly written story (or too much weed).
I remember playing with a friend of mine a few days ago and he asked me what was going on in the story line. I said "uuuuhhhhhhh" and I gave him some vague answers, because honestly this game's campaign was forgettable. It was full of rail shooters and filler sections. Nothing of real importance happens, it's just a series of roadblocks on Marcus's way to finding his dad. As I write this I'm trying to figure out why there was a section where the Gears went through a Locust base. I cannot for the life of me remember why and that's a perfect example of a poorly written story (or too much weed).
Personally I didn't like Gears Of War 3 that much either, though it really has nothing to do with any of the points that Yahtzee adressed. This was especially because of the ending. It just felt rushed, which is a shame because I was honestly curious to see what happens next, but I suppose that is reserved for Gears Of War 4...
I'm a Mass Effect fanboy and thoroughly agree with your last comment.JSRT said:
Plus anyone who's spent a decent amount of time with the Gears series knows that the chainsaw bayonet isn't an insta-win button. Try rushing a Theron with it on anything greater than hardcore and you'll be cut down by gun fire before you close half the distance. Either that or they'll just go around you.
Yahtzee, you were positive to Gears 2 to because it had excellent pacing. Gears 3 had even better pacing, so I guess fuck all for reviewer consistency.
Glad to see I'm not the only one who felt that this review was off, I kind of thought that he would like Gears 3 because he like Gears 2, guess I forgot who we were dealing withinternetzealot1 said:
Before I saw this review, I wanted the game. After I saw this review, I bought the game and have been loving it so far.
And I know better than to take these reviews seriously, but this one wasn't funny so much as kind of whiny.
Also, I don't ever remember them saying anything about the planet being destroyed.
And I know better than to take these reviews seriously, but this one wasn't funny so much as kind of whiny.
Also, I don't ever remember them saying anything about the planet being destroyed.
Absolutely not. If a storyteller makes you fall asleep as s/he's narrating, s/he's not making you feel invested in the aforementioned story. The audience is well justified in falling asleep if the story isn't compelling them to follow.warrenEBB said:
He means the bomb that is going to kill everyone.sravankb said:
The Nu-Lambent was introduced at the end of GOW2 with no explanation and at the end of GOW3 there is still no explanation what it is.
The Lambent Wretches from GOW were just a different type of enemy that was never discussed.
I had to google this at first because he has a totally different look. Apparently he didnt bother to try to find out.
Because he is not a Gearhead like you are it doesnt mean that he cannot discuss this. And you are really falling into what he said fans were going to do.
Oh yeah you did.
Anyway, you didnt really need to remember what happened in GOW 2 to follow this game at all since a lot of stuff was dropped and only the most basic things stayed.
The first two Gears had good stories of doom and actual endings, in Gears 3 you spend a chapter going to a grocery store to get supplies that goes nowhere because the ship blows up and no one told them to come back from the start of the attack for some reason.And then the several chapters of you looking for fuel for the sub that you never end up getting only to find fuel in the same dock where the sub is. Some one should have sent a scout team to see if the dock had all the stuff they needed from the start but that would have just cut the story down by a third.internetzealot1 said:
Wow... this is honestly IMO the worst review Yahtzee has ever done. And yes, I absolutely love his older episodes; I just watched a few recently and laughed my polka-dotted trousers off.
All I can recount from this review is blabbering about mainstream shooters, a few recycled jokes that are not even that funny, and completely misused references to Freud. Does Yahtzee even know who he is? I'm not sure he even used any metaphors here, at least not good ones.
What happened, Yahtzee? You used to be my favorite critic ever, but now your reviews are getting seriously lackluster. Recent reviews like SotD, inFAMOUS 2, Zelda 3DS, etc didn't wow me either. The Resistance 3 review was especially disappointing. Oh, it's like Half-life 2. Brilliant. Any other joke you got? Step up your game, man. For your sake and ours.
All I can recount from this review is blabbering about mainstream shooters, a few recycled jokes that are not even that funny, and completely misused references to Freud. Does Yahtzee even know who he is? I'm not sure he even used any metaphors here, at least not good ones.
What happened, Yahtzee? You used to be my favorite critic ever, but now your reviews are getting seriously lackluster. Recent reviews like SotD, inFAMOUS 2, Zelda 3DS, etc didn't wow me either. The Resistance 3 review was especially disappointing. Oh, it's like Half-life 2. Brilliant. Any other joke you got? Step up your game, man. For your sake and ours.
Why, you're welcome. Wish I could say the same for your comment, but then again you did completely miss the point of my argument, so no worries.trollpwner said:
No one is going to read this...says the guy who just wrote half a paragraph about it.trollpwner said: