Zero Punctuation: Mass Effect 3

[praetor_alpha]

I can't believe that Yahtzee didn't take note that instead of beating up on America or Undisclosedistan, a game is finally beating up his old country!

 

[ms_sunlight]

I'm shocked that there was no mention of how many times you had to switch the disks in ME3.

Not on PC. Anyway, I got the impression from the review that he didn't do a lot of the side missions.

 

[V da Mighty Taco]

ZP and Mass Effect 3? Well, Escapist, say good by to your servers because this will cause some trouble.

Yep, it's time to retreat to the fallout shelters. I give it 20 minutes until the thread is 100 comments long, 80 of them complaining about how he didn't trash the ending as much as they wanted him to (which he will probably do in Extra Punctuation), 10 of them complaining about the people complaining, 7 people actually trying to talk about the video, two spambots, and a brony in a pear tree.

Am I doing it right?

 

[OldNewNewOld]

So, I'm on my third playtrough and there is just one thing that I'm really mad about. It was enough to make me rage-quit the game.

Why did they nerf the vanguard class so much? Are they crazy?
I play on Insanity and you can't do shit with the Vanguard. Vanguard is a class that can't do shit on medium/far range. I need to come closer. But how the hell am I going to come close when the kill me the same moment I come out of the cover. The shields are pathetic.
If there is more than 1 enemy, you can't come close, you can't deal any real damage from afar. You have to fight for over 5 minutes against 5 cerberus troopers which don't even have shields.

Vanguard was really overpowered in ME1 and 2, but here it's just pathetic.

I'm gonna restart with Sentinel. At least I can pick the enemy from afar with my Black Widow.

Aside from this, I loved the game. Finished it 2 times. First time as a Technician on normal, the second time on Insanity as a Solider (looks like Solider is the most powerful class in ME3).

 

[cmdrmonkey]

I've always played as a soldier in the Mass Effect games. The squadmate AI is pretty lousy at combat. The squadmates are mostly useful as specialists. I use them if I need a hacker or a boss requires some special biotic ability, that kind of thing.

 

[CapitalistPig]

Though I didn't play this one. I got sick of mining materials in the second. I Like how Yahtzee attacked the fact that the ME series got too big for its britches. I've said it before. I didn't see how the ME universe was going to be able to cope with its technological prowess in a realistic shooter sense. I mean if society gets to the point that interstellar travel is possible and weapons can open singularities from a handheld weapon its hard to justify the whole grit and grind of the action when automation could easily have been implemented. Obviously the justification was "because its awesome" which I tend to agree as a sci fi enthusiast. Nevertheless, when your enemy already almost purged a galaxy of sentient life and your culture is as advanced as the game I didn't see it panning out. The real conflict would be from ships and we would probably lose because as stated....The reapers destroyed a GALAXY of sentient life. The series kinda glosses over a lot of human psychology in order to justify its existence. The simplest case goes back to orbital weapon automation. Who would fight a ground war when your spaceship is worth a planet in sci fi tech? Human psych, take the path of least resistance.

 

[schwegburt]

Gotta admit I like the Mako in ME1. It makes the galaxy feel like it's full of stuff, gives you a lot to go around and see other than on scan results, adds a different kind of shooting action (albeit a simple, rather easy one) and to be honest I found the crazy bouncy control a lot more fun than smooth, precise steering would be- it's like navigating on a space hopper and do you remember what space hoppers are? That's right, they're not transportation, they're TOYS- and fun.

Mind you, I still haven't even beaten ME1 yet, let alone ME2, so ME3 doesn't exactly mean much to me at the moment. And since the PC version requires Origin to play, I honestly don't give much of a fuck about it right now anyway. Fucking EA.

I agree the idea behind the Mako had a lot of potential.

But they totally biffed the execution by using repetitive, bland but frustrating to navigate environments. Then they made the damn vehicle itself handle like a drunk ballerina with bricks strapped to her feet. They topped it off with equally bad exploration music and hidden objectives that seldom gave an indication of their existence. Once inside of planet's primary objective they provided 3 carbon copy interior designs that had minor layout changes.

They had a lot to fix no doubt. But if they actually made the environments and Mako fun, then provided more compelling quests and exploration . . . The Mako sequences would provide an awesome way to emphasize the size and scope of the Mass Effect universe.

Oh yeah I agree with you on Origin as well. That and the $10 charge to get all of the Day 1 content results in the fact that I will not buy ME3. I love the first 2 games but the fact that EA pulled a double whammy ***** move means I won't give them my money.

 

[lowkey_jotunn]

wtf, not even 150 comments? I was sure this would easily cross the 200 threshold between the time I saw in on my non-Flash-playing-phone and when I got home... huh.

Oh well.

I would tend to disagree with him on most parts, but maybe that's because I actually played through the game, and helped all the blokes find their car keys and whatnot. The only part I was down on was the ending. Mostly because, well, there wasn't one.

BS BS BS Blah blah blah... make your choice:

Spoiler

Red rocks fall, we all die
Green rocks fall, we all die
Blue rocks fall, we all die

Now, I could go to great lengths and describe exactly what was wrong with the ending bit, but I feel this sums it up much better than I could... and doesn't involve a wall of text

Spoiler

All in all, I liked most of ME3. All the cameos were fun. Some of it was kinda cheesy (Grunt vs the Ravagers ... Shooting contest with Garrus ... Thane's last bit) but you know what ... they were fun-cheesy, and I'm okay with that. Just give me an ending worth a damn.

 

[Kanatatsu]

Pretty funny, but a major cop-out not to discuss the ending in more detail.

 

[CapitalistPig]

I'm still not exactly sure why people hate the ending so much...

me either actually. I went on youtube to see what all the fuss was about and watched them. I actually just finished a 3 book trilogy that was 1000 pages to each book that ended similarly. I however, was tear filled and full of joy at the last minute touches the author put on the wrap up (Peter F. Hamilton, The Night's Dawn series if anyone is interested, long sci fi read but worth it.) I guess a book is a bit different though. regardless, the series wraps up like most other sci fi series in a "fairy tale" ending kind of way. Its either that, or the Orwellian communists take over the world and screw you in the ass kind of way. I rather find the upbeat endings more encouraging. The graphics were nice? lol.


And of course, fantastic avatar my friend. Favorite series of all time.

 

[head desk tricycle]

Couldn't be arsed lol. To quote Dave Chappelle, Shakespeare could do no better.

 

[Metalrocks]

yeah, we will see how the DLC will turn out for the ending. because for now it still sucks. nice review btw.

 

[lowkey_jotunn]

Actually... a few more gripes that Yahtzee didn't touch on

The quest system was beyond worthless. There were seriously like 150 side quests to scan a random planet, and it almost never told you what planet... or it gave you the planet name, but not the System or Cluster... so you have to wander around mindlessly scanning everything till you see it. My personal favorite was the book of Plenx (I think that was it, some religious text for a Volus) that isn't even available to find when you get the quest. Seriously, the Cluster in which it resides is not on your map until 2 or 3 Priority missions later. An NO WHERE is that mentioned. I cruised around for like 45 minutes looking for that damn thing before I just googled it.

And once you do find the planet with the MacGuffin, you don't actually DO anything to get it ... it's just, got. I had a quest to extract some pinned down mercs for the shadow broker. Sounded sweet! I'll get to fight along side some Batarians maybe, or Vorcha, or whatever, Shadow Brokers merc squad sounds freaking coo-.... probe and done. WTF is that. I launched a probe and magically they're extracted. B.S.

And after you've probed the Volus's MacGuffin (if you know what I mean) you fly back to the citadel and just look at your map... every person named "random person" is a completed quest. There's absolutely NO impact or engagement there at all. Talk to them get +5 war assets (or -5 a few times... oops) and you're done. You're not even required to stay and listen to what the say. Hit A as you run past and you're set.

These stupid fetch quests are worse that the "Gather 20 bear asses" quests from standard MMOs

.

Finally, more on the ending. Where are the old squadmates for that bit? All the cameos from the story line ... and nothing in the Huge Finale. Why can't I have just a quick clip of Grunt or Wrex (OR BOTH) leading a wave of Krogans... gunning down husks and generally being badass Krogans. P.S. Wrex is a Vanguard. Give his ass Biotic Charge! How about a quick mention of Jack's students if you saved them. Imagine: you're pinned down, omg what ever will you do. *BOOOM* Biotic artillery strike saves you (or the students show up to provide barriers, depending on what you chose.) How about we see Jacob being a proud leader guy, directing troops and giving orders. Simple things, could even be just cut-scenes. Wouldn't fix the whole thing, but would have been a step in the right direction.


I'd offer a suggestion for Miranda, but we all know the camera would just be glued to her ass the whole time anyway.

And while you're adding things to the final battle, can we at least throw in some token aliens. You got the Batarians on your side? Sweet, see them running around killing things in London. Vorcha? Quarians, Geth, Krogans, Slarians, FREAKING HANNAR and ELCOR. Nothing major, no huge investment required, just acknowledge their existence. Reuse models, draw it up in MSPaint for all I care. Just pretend like they matter, a little bit. I've spent the last 5 years getting them to play nice for this one major climactic battle... can they at least make an appearance? That's the whole point of the series, right? Everyone coming together, putting aside past grudges to combat the Reaper threat.

.

Okay, one last last thing ... Some say he's the strongest of the reapers, and that he wants to harvest Shepard's body to dress you up in lacy womens underwear, all we know is: he's called HARBINGER, and he's relegated to less than a cameo in this game. WTF. He spent the entirety of ME2 taunting you, following you, taunting you some more, and annoying the bloody piss out of you until you roll Infiltrator and just blast his stupid head off while he does the possession animation thing ... and in this game, he gets mentioned once in passing by some other reaper you just destroyed, and is accused of blasting you with a giant lazer beam at the end. I'm still skeptical of that last bit, because after all the fuss he made in ME2 about gathering up your body... well now your body is broken and bloody on the ground and he just doesn't seem to give a crap anymore. Did he even have any lines? I can't remember him saying anything... but that might just be a natural response blocking out painful memories.

.

As for the whole red/green/blue thing ... well, fixing that is going to require *MAJOR* help that I can't be bothered to offer at this hour, and BAC.

 

[LinwoodElrich]

Quite possibly because the Nintendo fanboy lacks the faculty to admit a Nintendo product sucks. If Bioware fans are like Star Wars fans, Nintendo fans are like radical terrorists who froth madly at cartoon depictions of Shigeru Miyamoto (pbuh)

Haha very true indeed

 

[marshmallowSDA]

I find it wild that so many people are ripping ME3 for its ending. I mean really? Who plays video games for the story? Talk about doing it wrong. Video games writers are, with rare exceptions, people who weren't good enough for books, movies, tv, or even something as lowly as comic books. Video games are the bottom of the barrel of story driven media.

"Story in a game is like a story in a porn movie. It's expected to be there, but it's not that important."
?John Carmack

 

[Darkcerb]

I find it wild that so many people are ripping ME3 for its ending. I mean really? Who plays video games for the story? Talk about doing it wrong. Video games writers are, with rare exceptions, people who weren't good enough for books, movies, tv, or even something as lowly as comic books. Video games are the bottom of the barrel of story driven media.

"Story in a game is like a story in a porn movie. It's expected to be there, but it's not that important."
?John Carmack

That's the problem with opinions apparently I and a good many others became quite invested in this world and it's characters.

My question is who goes into games with no intention to experience the story? games without story are boring mindless grinds with no dressing, it's tetris is what it is fun for 30 mins before your brain wants to crawl off to find anything to occupy itself.

 

[Abedeus]

Again - it's a freaking beam made of molten metal traveling with, if I check codex

Estimates put its destructive power anywhere from 132 to 454 kilotons of TNT.

Even if he was hit by a shockwave of 132 kilotons... that's 131 kilotons too many to survive, even with kinetic barriers and armor.

Eh. There are a lot of places where the gameplay doesn't match up with the codex. The Hiroshima bomb was at most 18 kilotons. So if Harbinger's beam released that kind of energy, every single time it fired, it would obliterate everything within sight. That would not only invalidate the entire ending push to the Citadel beam, but it would also invalidate the earlier fight with the Destroyer on Rannoch.

The Reaper beam is as strong as the plot demands that it be. People who try to logically reason from this that what we're shown at the end isn't what happened, let's be charitable... are really reaching.

Reapers aren't just dreadnoughts, the Destroyers (those crabs on land) have weaker firepower. They're also smaller than the likes of Harbinger or Sovereign.

But it's one thing to say "Oh, shields held up against shockwave, it wasn't a direct hit", because if you are even scratched on Rannoch, you die. Here you get a blast to the face from a ship that can destroy space ships.

I find it wild that so many people are ripping ME3 for its ending. I mean really? Who plays video games for the story? Talk about doing it wrong. Video games writers are, with rare exceptions, people who weren't good enough for books, movies, tv, or even something as lowly as comic books. Video games are the bottom of the barrel of story driven media.

"Story in a game is like a story in a porn movie. It's expected to be there, but it's not that important."
?John Carmack

So, when was the last time Carmack released a well-selling, AAA title that sold even if half of what any of the ME or Dragon Age games sold?

Doom 3 had 88% average, that was 2005. None of his later games even got close. So why should we listen to him, we stopped listening to Molyneux a while ago.

 

[L34dP1LL]

Well I'm surprised about the fact that he didn't mention that not playing MP directly affects you in SP.

If he said that he'd be lying. Playing multiplayer makes it easier to get your effective military strength up, but you don't need to play the multiplayer.

However you should, because it's pretty fun.

I dare you to get the FULL ending without multiplayer. Let's see if you gett an EMS above 3900.

 

[L34dP1LL]

I find it wild that so many people are ripping ME3 for its ending. I mean really? Who plays video games for the story? Talk about doing it wrong. Video games writers are, with rare exceptions, people who weren't good enough for books, movies, tv, or even something as lowly as comic books. Video games are the bottom of the barrel of story driven media.

"Story in a game is like a story in a porn movie. It's expected to be there, but it's not that important."
?John Carmack

I'm preeeetty sure you must be trolling, 'cause dismissing a game story in this day and age is just plain nonsense. Games have the advantage over any other media because of the amount of interactivity and in some cases, (ME is a great example of this) player input.

 

[PingoBlack]

Pretty funny, but a major cop-out not to discuss the ending in more detail.

Not really, since Yahtzee is not quite as Jim over there. He is no activist, he is an agent provocateur. He just calculated this time he will get more clicks if he provoked fans instead.

His opinion on Ending-O-Tron was posted in Deus Ex video.