Zero Punctuation: Metal Gear Solid 4

[JTM]

Plays "Ayo Technology" intro. Stops music.

Great review.

However, what the hell? Did anyone else sit there at 4:15 seconds looking at the credits thinking, "Oh YES! Another great ZP short!" Well, I did and I don't care a rat's ass if you did or not.

Little did I know (now I do, much to my chagrin) that it was an advertisement for Heavenly Sword((S)) 2, which they now have on the XCrap360. Jeeeesus. Nothing like ruining a perfectly good review by adding on a TWO MINUTE AD on the end.

Seriously, this makes me hesitant to even watch after the credits now. I went from giddy as a schoolgirl to as scared as the chic off of that crappy movie, oh what was it... the one with the blind girl that got new eyes? It doesn't matter, names are unimportant. What is important is that you realize how craptastic that was. Damn you.

Plays "Bohemian Rhapsody" while the credits roll. Stops.

AND DOESN'T CUT TO AN AD.

 

[ZodiacBraves]

The "Extra crap" as you call it is the detail that makes it so interesting. It feels alot more like playing a tabletop that way, or reading a book. Thats what I don't get about people why all this extra data is not lifted up as one of the high points of the game. Its like back when the original "Star wars guide to ____" books came out and you got to read up on details about all the diffrent droids/ships/ext.

When I read this, all i thought was, if it has a lot of extra stuff most people might not care about, why couldn't it follow in the footsteps of "Star wars guide to ____" and release all that extra content to people who want more information? I know with certain things I like, (Blizzard games being my example) I do go out and buy the books to learn the extra information that doesn't need to be presented in the storyline. It makes it fun because, even though I am paying extra, I get to do the research about what I want to learn about. It's also nice because its not forced down everyone's throat, turning people away from the game because there is just too much to try to absorb.

There are already MGS books out there, for anyone that wants the extra story. Now why couldn't some of the other parts of the game that (as many people have already stated) seem unnecessary be put into a "Metal Gear Solid Guide to __" or even just explained in one of the books, because it seems that mainly only the hardcore fans like all that extra detail.

Or how about if Kojima really wanted you to have the extra resources at your command, why not just have a website explaining the other parts. I am sure it would have saved him time and money putting those parts into a cut scene (I haven't played the game, but I will take a guess that at least some of those explanations were just them standing around talking about it, didn't really need to have a fully voiced/computer generated cut scene about it) and he would be generating extra revenue from possibly having advertisements on the page somewhere.

I understand that the story to MGS is most likely its main focus, but it does seem silly to overwhelm many of the players with too much information they couldn't care less about. (Again, I haven't played it, just a generalization from the information I have read about on this forum)

 

[ShyWinter]

I was laughing out loud over this ZP review. Not that that hasn't happened before but it's the first time I felt the "exact" way about a series. MGS control schemes are always unintuitive as hell, but on the plus side if, and that's a big if, you master them you really do fell like an elite black ops agent.

The winding, pretentious story with lengthy cutscenes has always been the main flaw in the series. MGS3 was the first game I played and it made me an instant fanboy, but the other ones started to make me ill. Even Metal Gear 2 (not Metal Gear Solid 2) had lengthy opening credits that made me want to play something else.

 

[Frosk]

Plays "Ayo Technology" intro. Stops music.

Great review.

However, what the hell? Did anyone else sit there at 4:15 seconds looking at the credits thinking, "Oh YES! Another great ZP short!" Well, I did and I don't care a rat's ass if you did or not.

Little did I know (now I do, much to my chagrin) that it was an advertisement for Heavenly Sword((S)) 2, which they now have on the XCrap360. Jeeeesus. Nothing like ruining a perfectly good review by adding on a TWO MINUTE AD on the end.

Seriously, this makes me hesitant to even watch after the credits now. I went from giddy as a schoolgirl to as scared as the chic off of that crappy movie, oh what was it... the one with the blind girl that got new eyes? It doesn't matter, names are unimportant. What is important is that you realize how craptastic that was. Damn you.

Plays "Bohemian Rhapsody" while the credits roll. Stops.

AND DOESN'T CUT TO AN AD.

Had you actually watched it, you would have known it was for Ninja Gaiden 2. And you're a fanboy, congratulations.

And everyone should realize that Yahtzee doesn't choose to play those commercials at the end of his vids. The Escapist puts them there after he puts in his video or they send it to him to plop onto the end of the video.

Also...

Could everyone just stop please?

This is getting worse than the SSBB thread and that was the stupidest thread I've ever seen.

 

[Plays2]

That being said, Yahtzee was 100% correct.

you cannot be 100% correct with an opinion.
i am used to some real original thoughts yahtzee's reviews and there are none in this one.
it's just whine whine whine i have the attention span of a gnat and expect you all to have the same so i'm going to string all my blurbs together in a torrent of manically edited animation and redundant criticisms.

oh wait that's all his reviews.

i just happen to be a ps fanboy and yahtzee in recent months has clearly become a 360 addict and it's starting to come out in his reviews and it's annoying.

Then tell me how is he a 360 addict when he ripped apart Halo 3 and Mass Effect?

I'm still quite disappointed with his review, though.

 

[Agent_No_One]

this was...short...but still funny really like the shit=bananas part, just a little short and the rest was filled with trailers of a game, and drawn by pain, (on a different note, YAY SHIRTS!!!!!!)

 

[TerraMGP]

The "Extra crap" as you call it is the detail that makes it so interesting. It feels alot more like playing a tabletop that way, or reading a book. Thats what I don't get about people why all this extra data is not lifted up as one of the high points of the game. Its like back when the original "Star wars guide to ____" books came out and you got to read up on details about all the diffrent droids/ships/ext.

When I read this, all i thought was, if it has a lot of extra stuff most people might not care about, why couldn't it follow in the footsteps of "Star wars guide to ____" and release all that extra content to people who want more information? I know with certain things I like, (Blizzard games being my example) I do go out and buy the books to learn the extra information that doesn't need to be presented in the storyline. It makes it fun because, even though I am paying extra, I get to do the research about what I want to learn about. It's also nice because its not forced down everyone's throat, turning people away from the game because there is just too much to try to absorb.

There are already MGS books out there, for anyone that wants the extra story. Now why couldn't some of the other parts of the game that (as many people have already stated) seem unnecessary be put into a "Metal Gear Solid Guide to __" or even just explained in one of the books, because it seems that mainly only the hardcore fans like all that extra detail.

Or how about if Kojima really wanted you to have the extra resources at your command, why not just have a website explaining the other parts. I am sure it would have saved him time and money putting those parts into a cut scene (I haven't played the game, but I will take a guess that at least some of those explanations were just them standing around talking about it, didn't really need to have a fully voiced/computer generated cut scene about it) and he would be generating extra revenue from possibly having advertisements on the page somewhere.

I understand that the story to MGS is most likely its main focus, but it does seem silly to overwhelm many of the players with too much information they couldn't care less about. (Again, I haven't played it, just a generalization from the information I have read about on this forum)

Again his last game, he wanted to clear up all loose ends, and by now if you don't know an MGS game is going to be story driven you should not be playing them. Hideo is one of those people who understands how wonderful and amazing the small details can be. If you really don't like it that much skip the cutscenes and play the rest of the game, but I think that playing an interactive book like that is alot more fun and thats what he made. The interactive part was tactical espionage and the rest was what you SHOULD expect from his last MGS game, what were people expecting just tiny blurbs of story?

 

[c0rruptioN]

Once again a flawless review, gratz Yahtzee.

 

[Pr0]

Holy crap....theres 4 minutes of commercials tacked on to this.

FOUR MINUTES OF COMMERCIALS.

What the holy hell. I mean I appreciate that the commercials are loaded at the end but holy christ FOUR MINUTES OF COMMERCIALS.

What planet has the Escapist landed on? Its beginning to smell like Planet IGN.

 

[yzzlthtz]

If by "greatest ever" you mean "endless convoluted verbal diarrhea", then yes, MGS' story is the greatest ever.

hmm, while it does take a little focus to understand what is being said, i actually find the story pretty intelligent and poignant, and even, at times, very moving.

though the romantic bits are just awful. really just stupid. and the cooking scene with Naomi and Sunny made me want to throw them off the plane.

but "endless convoluted verbal diarrhea"? give me a break. do you have anything resembling a brain in that melon you call a head? did you even play the game?

ahh i'm sorry, we're all entitled to our opinion. the storytelling is a bit anime-ish and Yahtzee is himself an admitted anime disliker. but verbal diarrhea? did you, like, flunk elementary school? i mean jesus guys, why are you defending this guy so brainlessly?

 

[BreakAtmo]

Sorry, but I completely disagreed. I personally love the story and characters, the cut-scenes are unskippable if you don't want to watch them, the A.I. improves on the higher difficulty levels, I found the controls very workable for both action and stealth (and if you think that the tranq gun makes things to easy, here's a novel idea - DON'T USE IT), and finally, when it comes down to analysing how much gameplay there is, remember that you can play the game in all different ways. I'm on my second playthrough (focusing on stealth rather than action), I'm still loving it, and I haven't even changed difficulty levels yet, plus I plan to go after all the emblems at some point. Also, I enjoy Metal Gear Online.

Don't get me wrong, it was a funny review, and I know Yahtzee is supposed to be a 'critic' in the very strongest sense of the word, I just found myself personally disagreeing on almost every single point made.

 

[yzzlthtz]

Holy crap....theres 4 minutes of commercials tacked on to this.

FOUR MINUTES OF COMMERCIALS.

What the holy hell. I mean I appreciate that the commercials are loaded at the end but holy christ FOUR MINUTES OF COMMERCIALS.

What planet has the Escapist landed on? Its beginning to smell like Planet IGN.

more like planet suck!
ohhh!

 

[yzzlthtz]

That being said, Yahtzee was 100% correct.

you cannot be 100% correct with an opinion.
i am used to some real original thoughts yahtzee's reviews and there are none in this one.
it's just whine whine whine i have the attention span of a gnat and expect you all to have the same so i'm going to string all my blurbs together in a torrent of manically edited animation and redundant criticisms.

oh wait that's all his reviews.

i just happen to be a ps fanboy and yahtzee in recent months has clearly become a 360 addict and it's starting to come out in his reviews and it's annoying.

Then tell me how is he a 360 addict when he ripped apart Halo 3 and Mass Effect?

I'm still quite disappointed with his review, though.

maybe he was kidding?
there's a lot more to play on the 360 other than Halo and Mass Effect (no really).
i only said that to be snarky. i mean come on - poop all over the best ps3 exclusive to date and follow it up with a NG2 preview? also, he blatantly and without convincing cause dissed the ps3 controller for GTA4, a clear sign that he's become accustomed to the behemoth that is the xbox controller....

 

[yzzlthtz]

sorry, double post.

 

[Therumancer]

I watch Yahtzee to laugh mostly, not for serious reviews for the most part.

In general Yahtzee's opinion of what makes a good game and mine are heavily in conflict for the most part. What's more he also contridicts himself, which sometimes makes me wonder.

For example he tends to rail about games having a decent storyline. The basic message being that if the game isn't a braindead fragfest it's boring. But then he goes on to praising things like "Silent Hill" due to their slow pace, atmosphere, and story telling.

What's more I don't see what is wrong with sequels assuming people have played the previous games. Frankly I've always found it to be a game killer for sequels if they have to dumb it down or retread the earlier installments entirely so the hypothetical new gamer can "catch up". Especially when the earlier games are availible (usually) for sale through some method.

Now honestly I'm not a big Metal Gear fan for reasons I won't go into, but I occasionally worry that reviewers like Yahtzee damage the industry. Especially given the prominance they enjoy.

Now yes, I do admit that the whole "interactive movie" thing can be annoying when it's done wrong. Perhaps MGS inflicted overkill in this regard (like Xenosaga) when they should have been looking for ways to develop the story as you played. But then again he also lumped games like "The Witcher" and "Mass Effect" into the same catagory where most of that dialogue is delivered as you wander around doing quests in civilized areas (albeit similar ones) not through long pieces of FMV or whatever.

Then there is his Silent Hill obsession mentioned in several articles, which to an extent can be blamed for everything he complains about other games doing.

I understand Yahtzee is a slice and dice reviewer, and we basically like to listen to him pick on the faults of games. However I would like to see a bit more consistincy as what makes a good slice and dice reviewer as opposed to someone just puking bile from a
soap box is fairness and consistincy .

I'm still a fan and tune into Yahtzee every week, and I've made comments about this kind of thing before. I expect him to flame any game he reviews horribly, but too much plot/exposition/atmosphere etc... is not a fair or consistantly judged factor.

 

[Copter400]

Mmm, mailbag showdown sequel.

 

[GlenRice41]

I loved the review, I completely agree there are too many parts where I find myself saying man i wish I was controlling the action not just a dumb cut scene. Though i found most of them to be very good. Yeah I'm a fan of the series so I guess I'm biased, but I see a lot of your points it could have been better! It almost gave me a FFVII Dirge of Cerberus feel of killing 3 guys just to get to a cut scene with a lot of rambling at times. And like everyone else mentioned that shit=bananas had me rolling!

I think fans of game shouldn't take reviews so seriously. Like even Yahtzee said and this I'm not sure if this is exact word for word, but if you really truly like a game what any reviewer says shouldn't bother you, because it's just an opinion. Anyone going around looking for a reviewer to agree with their opinions isn't looking for a review. they are looking for a lap dog to tell them what they want to hear. Your not going to always hear what you want and thats life deal with it. People still are going to say negative stuff though which may or may not cause a mailbag showdown 2. (I'd look forward to that)

All in all great review, all your reviews have me dying from laughter keep it up man. good stuff!

 

[QueerBiNatureNYC]

wow - this was well written - better than the last couple of reviews

 

[LazyAza]

I'm no mgs fanboy nor has my previous mgs experiences been drastically limited so upon purchasing this game I was half expecting to be let down and half expecting to be blown across the room by its sheer aura of awesomeness.
Neither happened and i'm still not sure if i like the game or not, I think i'm around 65, 70% of the way through and thusfar the game seems to be fun and unique yet at the same time annoying as hell. I've never played a game before where i cant definitively say 'its shit' or 'it rocks' cause its neither. Its like your inevitably going to be 1 of 3 people, a fanboy who loves every waking second, a hater who loathes every waking second or an 'on the fence' gamer who feels like hes in the middle of one massive clusterfuck of indecisiveness like myself. I think yahtzee made some damn good points though. The game is pretty much broken in alot of areas, and the cinematics go oooon and ooon for so much longer than they needed to. I'm hoping when I finish it i'll know whether or not I like it but it almost feels like the game is trying to hard in some areas(story for example) and not hard enough in others(like say the action areas aka rail shooters). Kojima is certainly one weird dood.

 

[bobnine]

I think Yahtzee is abit confused, Metal Gear Solid isn't a game, its a movie.