Zero Punctuation: Monster Hunter Tri

[noglet]

Yeah, ZP reviews are *strictly opinion*. This is the most important thing about them. Reviews, remember, are often strictly *not* opinion, not personal or committed, but rather the products of the industry game. In that game reviews are a kind of currency used to purchase better advertising revenues, feature exclusives, early access to new projects, and so on, for the publishing venue or reviewer.

The *guarantee* that Yahtzee's opinionated blather contains is this: that what you hear is absolutely *not* the ersatz product of an invisible mechanism designed, in essence, to cheat you out of your money.

 

[Ohlookit'sMatty]

Where was the shameless plug for his book?!? Did the Escapist finally catch on and make him take it down?

-M

 

[Dexiro]

Got this game yesterday and finally got to the meat of the game, only to realise that Yahtzee didn't mention any of it in his review.

There's a lengthy tutorial because the other MH games had a difficult learning curve, but it's sad to see that Yahtzee didn't play past it. And probably sadder that some viewers will avoid the game now because of it.

Gathering is a big part of the game but not the main part - It all comes down to defeating bigger monsters.
I just did the first real monster, Great Jaggi, and that was bloody hard. That was just the first step towards a zillion more.

Only then do you have the slightly tedious gathering mechanic which goes towards upgrading and creating weapons, armour and supplies.

 

[The Lunatic]

Got this game yesterday and finally got to the meat of the game, only to realise that Yahtzee didn't mention any of it in his review.

There's a lengthy tutorial because the other MH games had a difficult learning curve, but it's sad to see that Yahtzee didn't play past it. And probably sadder that some viewers will avoid the game now because of it.

Gathering is a big part of the game but not the main part - It all comes down to defeating bigger monsters.
I just did the first real monster, Great Jaggi, and that was bloody hard. That was just the first step towards a zillion more.

Only then do you have the slightly tedious gathering mechanic which goes towards upgrading and creating weapons, armour and supplies.

The gathering is less important later in.

Weapons and Armour no longer need it after a few sets, supplies are still a must, but, once you get the farm, you can just check back there once in a while and you'll have more than enough supplies.

 

[cenebi]

As much as I like Yahtzee's reviews, he's just not suited to reviewing RPGs. He ends up reviewing the genre, and not the game.

Do I blame him for not playing through more than the first half of the 1-star offline quests (Which took me less than an hour total)? No, he's a fairly busy person and I wouldn't expect him to dump hours upon hours into a game just to review it. But then, if he's not willing to experience everything a game has to offer, he shouldn't be reviewing it, because the review cannot possibly be accurate.

I appreciate that he only likes specific games, but purposely ignoring portions of a game to give it a bad review makes you a bad reviewer. That's not to say Yahtzee isn't entertaining.

Anyways, all I'm really reading in this thread are people that had no intention of buying MH3 anyways agreeing with him, and the people that have actually played it for more than an hour saying he didn't give it a fair shot.

As for the complaint that there isn't a story, MH doesn't need a story, it has good enough gameplay to be fun, with armor and weapons to make providing you a reason to keep fighting harder and harder monsters. The armor and weapons are not the point of the game in themselves. That would be like running a marathon so you could have the juice at the end.

 

[fvyyltbebhaq]

Got this game yesterday and finally got to the meat of the game, only to realise that Yahtzee didn't mention any of it in his review.

There's a lengthy tutorial because the other MH games had a difficult learning curve, but it's sad to see that Yahtzee didn't play past it. And probably sadder that some viewers will avoid the game now because of it.

Gathering is a big part of the game but not the main part - It all comes down to defeating bigger monsters.
I just did the first real monster, Great Jaggi, and that was bloody hard. That was just the first step towards a zillion more.

Only then do you have the slightly tedious gathering mechanic which goes towards upgrading and creating weapons, armour and supplies.

Not just that, but the tutorial isn't even that long. He probably just dicked around in ALL of the 1* quests rather than the two that the Guild Sweetheart said to do and the 2 minutes you're sent into the Moga Woods for a bit of pre-game exploration. So yeah. The tutorial is "This is how to cook meat. You need it for stamina. This is how to combine. You need it for health. This is how to gather. You need it for the aforementioned combining and cooking."

I mean, if he did actually get to the big monsters he probably would've put in something about the hunters' need to raise their arms in the air like they just don't care about the huge angry monster gunning for them whenever they use a potion. Or, if he were to actually play long enough to get to Gigginox, OH MY GOD GET OFF THE CEILING AND LET ME HIT YOU WHY CAN'T I KNOCK YOU OFF WITH A SONIC BOMB.

 

[Alarid]

Wow, Yahtzee completely missed the point of the game. Me thinks he didn't play long enough to fight some of the bigger monsters.

The game is all about the build up to the big baddies, but it is too much of a grind to get to that point.

I just wish they would have gave a store to buy the material instead of having to go out and collect ALL of it. I mean, they gave you a cheap and easy way to mass produce bugs and plants, so why not make a store to buy the other shit? "Oh no! I didn't get a King's Frill AFTER FIGHTING THE GUY FOR THE THIRD TIME!!!!"

Thank god that there is an online portion that they can update.

Got this game yesterday and finally got to the meat of the game, only to realise that Yahtzee didn't mention any of it in his review.

There's a lengthy tutorial because the other MH games had a difficult learning curve, but it's sad to see that Yahtzee didn't play past it. And probably sadder that some viewers will avoid the game now because of it.

Gathering is a big part of the game but not the main part - It all comes down to defeating bigger monsters.
I just did the first real monster, Great Jaggi, and that was bloody hard. That was just the first step towards a zillion more.

Only then do you have the slightly tedious gathering mechanic which goes towards upgrading and creating weapons, armour and supplies.

Not just that, but the tutorial isn't even that long. He probably just dicked around in ALL of the 1* quests rather than the two that the Guild Sweetheart said to do and the 2 minutes you're sent into the Moga Woods for a bit of pre-game exploration. So yeah. The tutorial is "This is how to cook meat. You need it for stamina. This is how to combine. You need it for health. This is how to gather. You need it for the aforementioned combining and cooking."

I mean, if he did actually get to the big monsters he probably would've put in something about the hunters' need to raise their arms in the air like they just don't care about the huge angry monster gunning for them whenever they use a potion. Or, if he were to actually play long enough to get to Gigginox, OH MY GOD GET OFF THE CEILING AND LET ME HIT YOU WHY CAN'T I KNOCK YOU OFF WITH A SONIC BOMB.

Yes, Yahtzee cheaped out on us by not playing the entire 999 HR worth. I mean, what kind of lazy bastard wouldn't play a game he didn't like for 300 hours to make a five minute review of it?

 

[aubreym]

As much as i like Yahtzee
he now has other things going on in his life
and doesnt have the time he once had to actually play any game in a short duration of a week.

I dont think he will be able to support this juggling in his life. I say another 2 months and it bye bye Yahtzee.

 

[Atmos Duality]

Yes, Yahtzee cheaped out on us by not playing the entire 999 HR worth. I mean, what kind of lazy bastard wouldn't play a game he didn't like for 300 hours to make a five minute review of it?

And that Strawman argument might have actually flown if only Yahtzee had played the fucking thing for as long as he claimed before (badly) covering his ass in the follow-up article.

 

[MrGFunk]

That's pretty conclusive then.

 

[kordo]

Why the fuck does Yahtzee persist with reviewing Japanese RPGs when we all know he'll just shit on them ad nauseum? I'm sure he knows himself that he's not capable of reviewing these type of games so why the fuck bother? These type of reviews of his are the worst because they are so predictable. Just like his reviews for any game by Valve - I'm sure they're the only games that he really enjoys.

 

[b@IL3Y]

What the fuck people? Since when does Yahtzee review games? Man i must be slow on the uptake, i've been watching these videos of Yahtzee's from day dot just thinking they were a bit of fun. I can't personally say i've agreed with the majority of his "reviews", but that's fine 'cause i watch them to have a laugh.

Really, people these days are such a bunch of cry babies, boo hoo yahtzee didn't review my game fairly, blah blah blah. Grow up for christ sake... I suppose you all owning a nintendo wii would have something to do with your maturity levels.

Hahahaha, do the human race a favour and neuter yourselves.

His videos are comedy, develop a sense of humour you fragile fucks.

Okay that's insulting enough methinks. Ahh the internet, what's that theory, give a person anonymity and an audience and they act like tools? The Greater Fuckwad Theory perhaps? Seems to work from a victimisation aspect too. Yes i can rant as well, rant bloo blahh aha ha.

And was never to post again.. Hope the ships goes down vertically.

 

[Chibz]

Open question for monster hunter fans: Do you REALLY want Yahtzee's sheeple cluttering up our games with their retardation? No? Good. He did us a favour.

Also, since I don't really care if I get banned from this crappy site...

Fuck Yahtzee and the shit hole he currently resides in. It's nothing short of astonishing that the escapist kept him and got rid of Rob. Fuck this guy, fuck him with a sideways spear.

 

[smith of gear 92]

Ehhh... I think it's safe to infer that if Yahtzee reviews any game that is in any shape or form like an MMORPG, he'll absolutely pan it... The minute I saw this up, I was like: "He's gonna hate it." He isn't wrong in his arguments about the game. While I am a fan of Monster Hunter, when it comes to Tri, I feel as if something is missing. Whether it be the change of the maps, weapons that were cut from the game, or the plethera of new monsters, I feel as though there's a gap somewhere. No point in asking Yahtzee about the online element, but I do believe that the online element for Tri, while it helps a little, you really don't get much value for that. If you make friends, odds are next time you go on, they won't be on and you'll have to meet new guys. It's this stuff that makes me barely play it. I spend more time playing Freedom Unite than I do Tri. I guess it's because (If anyone else feels the way I do) we're so familiar with Freedom Unite's content, when it comes to Tri's content, we feel as though we have some stuff missing from the package... But I digress, in the end, making Yahtzee review a game that's like an MMORPG is like throwing a lit match in a pool full of gasoline.

 

[Chibz]

Monster Hunter Tri

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Monster Hunter Tri.
Watch Video

I just rewatched the video and realized something. There's not even a mention of the online mode (AT ALL), nor is there a mention of arena mode (Yes, the single player arena mode. You vs a monster. Accessible as soon as a character is made).

The extra punctuation even makes reference to hitting the great jaggi's thighs repeatedly. His thighs. Couldn't you possibly have aimed, you australian dunce? At least a little? He also made comment to the hammer taking... What was it. Eighteen seconds per swing? Eighteen seconds? Not even close. Try more like a second and a half. And that's because of sheer bulk.

He also mentioned taking half an hour to kill the great jaggi. This isn't a bragging point, yahtzee. Half an hour is fully triple my leisurely rate and five times the arena qualifying time. In short, if you're taking half an hour to kill the pussy-cat of the MH3 bosses... It's not a problem with the game. You're doing something wrong.

Also... Moga woods, the OVERWORLD? He honestly called moga woods... THE "OVERWORLD". It's officially come down to it. Yahtzee just plain ol' sucks at playing video games.

For the escapist: It's a 5:04 video. The first 16 seconds was his title scroll. The next 14 seconds are him talking about "not understanding japanese games" and sexual-oriented games. The next 15 are devoted to talking purely about harvest moon. What does this have to do with monster hunter 3? Nothing. After about 12 more seconds of going on about nothing relevant, he actually mentions the name of the game he's "reviewing". A full zarking minute, escapist. This is 20% of the review already wasted NOT TALKING ABOUT THE GAME BEING "REVIEWED". I sure hope you don't pay him by the minute. Another ten odd seconds devoted to discussing the box art. At least that's slightly relevant. I guess. 3 minutes into the video (60% of the review) he has made no mention of actually hunting the large monsters. You know, the meat & potatoes of the MONSTER HUNTER series. The last 15 seconds of actual review are spent ranting about how much he hates the wii. Again, not really relevant to the game itself. The last 20 seconds are his end animations.

In total, he spend 3 minutes and 48 seconds talking about the game in question. This is being generous, escapist. You paid $90 AUS for him to have the game, and whatever you pay him per video in order to get 3:48 of review. Even assuming you only pay him $10 per video, you paid easily $25 AUS per minute of video. Which is pricy considering he spent the time talking about everything but what the actual gameplay is like.

I'm signing up with the people requesting the escapist magazine to review their contract with Yahtzee. Perhaps he's no longer fit to do any variety of "review" on their site, as his utter lack of actual ... reviewing shows. There's so much that could've been made fun of in this game, so many problems that could've been brought to light. But he never reached them.

At least James Rolfe plays the goddamn games.

As for Yahtzee, go back to playing the mindless god of war series and leave the more difficult games to gamers.

 

[sfried]

Out of curiosity, has Yahtzee tried any of the Phatasy Star Online games?

Now those start to look like a chore compared to MH.

 

[Chibz]

Out of curiosity, has Yahtzee tried any of the Phatasy Star Online games?

Now those start to look like a chore compared to MH.

He's never reviewed one. And I'm inclined to say that he likely hasn't played one, but many people haven't.

 

[Dfskelleton]

I liked the part when the wii killed itself and the Xbox360 and PS3 give each other a high five, which is good for me because PS3 and Xbox360 are fun, but the effect of the wii can easily be achieved by thrusting the controller when you stab someon in Call of Duty.
It's funny when people say how hardcore monster hunter 3 is. it's just funny. It's like saying that prototype has a deep emotional storyline and isn't supposed to be fun. The wii is a console for little kids, and some people think it's hardcore. It's called the Wii, something you say on a ferris wheel or when you need to use the bathroom, not when you win a barfight or eat cereal made of nails and motor oil.

if you eat cereal made of nails and motor oil you're not manly you're just a dumbshit with serious internal bleeding

And you're screwed if you try to take a crap.

 

[iBlooba]

This review was hilarious, but in my personal opinion the game is actually pretty cool. I've put in a couple hundred hours without getting bored, but 98% of my experience is online.

 

[xs27]

I was expecting a bad review cos this game needs some dedication, playing through hr 1 and 2 is absolutely boring. Shit actually gets fun at high hr as you gather less and hunt what you properly call MONSTERS.

However i disagree on the point that it does not deserve to be on anything at all. i think it will be awesome on the PS3.

However, funny vid nevertheless. i always enjoyed your vids.