Zero Punctuation: Nintendo 3DS

[siNwrath]

The Gamecube was a failure and so was the Wii, it completely lost it's grip on the hardcore gamer market and now Nintendo is hoping to bring them back with a console that is slightly more powerful than a PS3 and (finally) with HD support. Hopefully Nintendo will also fix their online network, get rid of all the friend codes and what not.

And yet the Wii has sold almost as much as PS3 and 360 combined.

Yahtzee wasn't unfair towards the 3DS, he was just. It's nothing more than a gimmick to justify released YET another version of the DS and it never ceases to amaze me how the Nintendo fans keep swallowing this garbage. They are like Apple fans I guess, gotta buy a new Ipod every 2 years, cause the next one has one extra GB of space. Whooooooooo.

Its not a DS for the billionth time. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're trolling 'cause the alternative is much worse. Also I bought my DS lite maybe 4-5years ago, that's about a regular console cycle.

 

[Hyakunin Isshu]

Can I just say that this was an awful review?
I can't tell if he is lying or not.

I think this guy is funnyer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8mQHotlaFo
Ok, maybe not.

 

[The Human Torch]

The Gamecube was a failure and so was the Wii, it completely lost it's grip on the hardcore gamer market and now Nintendo is hoping to bring them back with a console that is slightly more powerful than a PS3 and (finally) with HD support. Hopefully Nintendo will also fix their online network, get rid of all the friend codes and what not.

And yet the Wii has sold almost as much as PS3 and 360 combined.

Yahtzee wasn't unfair towards the 3DS, he was just. It's nothing more than a gimmick to justify released YET another version of the DS and it never ceases to amaze me how the Nintendo fans keep swallowing this garbage. They are like Apple fans I guess, gotta buy a new Ipod every 2 years, cause the next one has one extra GB of space. Whooooooooo.

Its not a DS for the billionth time. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're trolling 'cause the alternative is much worse. Also I bought my DS lite maybe 4-5years ago, that's about a regular console cycle.

If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and swims like a duck, it's duck.
It's a DS, it has a Dual Screen, it's a DS.

Just because you bought a DS-lite 4 years ago, does not mean that they are churning out new models like mad.
Let's look at the release dates:
Nintendo DS: November 21, 2004
Nintendo DS Lite: March 2, 2006
DSi: November 1, 2008
DSi XL: November 21, 2009
3DS: February 26, 2011

On average there is a waiting time of about 1 year and 4 months in between each variation of the Nintendo DS, so don't start about "regular console cycles".
Look, I owned the first DS, and also a DS lite, than I sold both of em because they no longer released games that I was interested in, and I was also getting tired of seeing a new model released a few months after I bought one.

I have no 'hate' for Nintendo, the very first portable gaming system I ever owned was the first Gameboy, so I have fond memories of it.
But I grew up, and Nintendo didn't grow up with me.

And don't call me a troll simply because you don't agree with me. You replied to my post, so it peeked your interest at least a bit. Let's just agree to disagree, and you are more than welcome to enjoy whatever Nintendo releases, as is your privilege. As it is my privilege to think of Nintendo as a child version of Apple and safely ignoring all the junk they release.

 

[Scorpio2812]

Senor Koquonfaes, something to watch for in Australia with a 3DS lol

 

[BreakdownBoy]

I agree Yhatzee, Nintendo sucks!

 

[Xman490]

The Wii's "parents" (perhaps a metaphor for us, considering that we pay its "allowance") may just be proud of their oldest child. After all, Nintendo has started the "Another Bloody" brigade that made us giggle with glee like a parent at a baby's first syllables. I think motion controls started with the Wii painting messes on paper; we then put it on the refrigerator and noticed it with smaller and smaller smiles. As the younger ones make finger paintings on paper while getting some on the floor, we can only sigh in disbelief, despite how they found out how to speak at age 1.

 

[siNwrath]

The Gamecube was a failure and so was the Wii, it completely lost it's grip on the hardcore gamer market and now Nintendo is hoping to bring them back with a console that is slightly more powerful than a PS3 and (finally) with HD support. Hopefully Nintendo will also fix their online network, get rid of all the friend codes and what not.

And yet the Wii has sold almost as much as PS3 and 360 combined.

Yahtzee wasn't unfair towards the 3DS, he was just. It's nothing more than a gimmick to justify released YET another version of the DS and it never ceases to amaze me how the Nintendo fans keep swallowing this garbage. They are like Apple fans I guess, gotta buy a new Ipod every 2 years, cause the next one has one extra GB of space. Whooooooooo.

Its not a DS for the billionth time. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're trolling 'cause the alternative is much worse. Also I bought my DS lite maybe 4-5years ago, that's about a regular console cycle.

If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and swims like a duck, it's duck.
It's a DS, it has a Dual Screen, it's a DS.

Just because you bought a DS-lite 4 years ago, does not mean that they are churning out new models like mad.
Let's look at the release dates:
Nintendo DS: November 21, 2004
Nintendo DS Lite: March 2, 2006
DSi: November 1, 2008
DSi XL: November 21, 2009
3DS: February 26, 2011

On average there is a waiting time of about 1 year and 4 months in between each variation of the Nintendo DS, so don't start about "regular console cycles".
Look, I owned the first DS, and also a DS lite, than I sold both of em because they no longer released games that I was interested in, and I was also getting tired of seeing a new model released a few months after I bought one.

I have no 'hate' for Nintendo, the very first portable gaming system I ever owned was the first Gameboy, so I have fond memories of it.
But I grew up, and Nintendo didn't grow up with me.

And don't call me a troll simply because you don't agree with me. You replied to my post, so it peeked your interest at least a bit. Let's just agree to disagree, and you are more than welcome to enjoy whatever Nintendo releases, as is your privilege. As it is my privilege to think of Nintendo as a child version of Apple and safely ignoring all the junk they release.

If you're so far gone that you cannot tell the difference between variants/makes/models of a device, and generational gaps then I'm afraid I'm not likely to be able to get through to you.

It only looks like it looks like a DS because it has 2 screens, and one of them is a touch screen. It doesn't actually look much like a DS at all.

And I was giving you the benefit of the doubt. I'm concerned now.

EDIT: If it clears the air a bit, I mean you're only assuming its a DS variant based on the name and the fact that it has 2 screens (1 being a touchscreen). The problem is, you're wrong and the assumption though easily mistakable is clearly flawed when you think about it. Did you fault the PS3 for going with dual analogue? I don't complain that every controller that features a D-Pad is an NES controller.

The dual screen setup with touch screen input is just a feature that carried through. Check your facts, the 3DS is otherwise completely new. That qualifies it as next gen.

 

[cpatton]

yea 3DS = headache

 

[Riesel87]

brilliant and hilarious. bravo good sir, bravo

 

[The Human Torch]

If you're so far gone that you cannot tell the difference between variants/makes/models of a device, and generational gaps then I'm afraid I'm not likely to be able to get through to you.

It only looks like it looks like a DS because it has 2 screens, and one of them is a touch screen. It doesn't actually look much like a DS at all.

And I was giving you the benefit of the doubt. I'm concerned now.

EDIT: If it clears the air a bit, I mean you're only assuming its a DS variant based on the name and the fact that it has 2 screens (1 being a touchscreen). The problem is, you're wrong and the assumption though easily mistakable is clearly flawed when you think about it. Did you fault the PS3 for going with dual analogue? I don't complain that every controller that features a D-Pad is an NES controller.

The dual screen setup with touch screen input is just a feature that carried through. Check your facts, the 3DS is otherwise completely new. That qualifies it as next gen.

Every single version of the DS (with the exception of the 3DS) plays the exact same games. They are just releasing a new version every year to make people buy new ones. Yes, it's a 'new' generation, but that doesn't change the fact that it still does the same thing it did before.

It has 2 screens, it has the same shape as DSi XL (albeit maybe a bit more square) and it's even named a 3DS. It's a DS. You will probably argue that a Playstation 2 is not a Playstation 3, but the radical difference between the two versions make it a whole new console. The 3DS is just a DS with 3D functionality, that is all. Basically it would be the same if the Playstation 3 was nothing more than a Playstation 2 with a blu-ray driver in it.

Yes, every D-pad is a NES controller and every shooter is Duke Nukem 3D. With that kinda logic everything is anything. Did you know? The Wright Brothers first airplane is the same as a Boeing 747.

Anyway, I am doing with your patronizing. So salute to you, enjoy your 3DS, I won't.

 

[siNwrath]

If you're so far gone that you cannot tell the difference between variants/makes/models of a device, and generational gaps then I'm afraid I'm not likely to be able to get through to you.

It only looks like it looks like a DS because it has 2 screens, and one of them is a touch screen. It doesn't actually look much like a DS at all.

And I was giving you the benefit of the doubt. I'm concerned now.

EDIT: If it clears the air a bit, I mean you're only assuming its a DS variant based on the name and the fact that it has 2 screens (1 being a touchscreen). The problem is, you're wrong and the assumption though easily mistakable is clearly flawed when you think about it. Did you fault the PS3 for going with dual analogue? I don't complain that every controller that features a D-Pad is an NES controller.

The dual screen setup with touch screen input is just a feature that carried through. Check your facts, the 3DS is otherwise completely new. That qualifies it as next gen.

Every single version of the DS (with the exception of the 3DS) plays the exact same games. They are just releasing a new version every year to make people buy new ones. Yes, it's a 'new' generation, but that doesn't change the fact that it still does the same thing it did before.

It has 2 screens, it has the same shape as DSi XL (albeit maybe a bit more square) and it's even named a 3DS. It's a DS. You will probably argue that a Playstation 2 is not a Playstation 3, but the radical difference between the two versions make it a whole new console. The 3DS is just a DS with 3D functionality, that is all. Basically it would be the same if the Playstation 3 was nothing more than a Playstation 2 with a blu-ray driver in it.

Yes, every D-pad is a NES controller and every shooter is Duke Nukem 3D. With that kinda logic everything is anything. Did you know? The Wright Brothers first airplane is the same as a Boeing 747.

Anyway, I am doing with your patronizing. So salute to you, enjoy your 3DS, I won't.

Well I'm glad you think everything everything, back in the normal world I wasn't stupid enough or hardcore enough to buy a DSi, especially given how late in the DS's life cycle it came. I can't say for sure that I really appreciate the 3DS till I start playing real games on it, however it has some neat gimmicky in built software, and I really appreciate that Nintendo are thinking ahead.

Not just upgrading the hardware significantly, but adding an analog stick, motion controls, sure the pedometer, but especially the increased network interconnectivity, THE REMOVAL OF ALL BUT ONE FRIEND NUMBER (dude that's nearly on par with the 360), and yes, even an attempt at 3D. At least they tried. In future they promise to add a digital store.

What are Sony bringing this gen? A heavily upgraded PSP (no surprise), and, if I'm not mistaken, digital only platform, again shunning the retailers unnecessarily, and TOUCH SCREENS. Its not exactly a bad thing, but I have to wonder if their R&D is actually trying, or if indeed they have an R&D department. Next Gen Portable my ass.

So fine, you continue to think everything is everything, and while I can't say it doesn't get to me a little bit, I can move on and enjoy my 3DS.

 

[ash12181987]

Yeah this was, LOL one of the funniest vids Yahtzee has done in a long time. Cheers.

 

[Arren Kae]

3D has potential to make a game more immersive (imagine playing Rage, Killzone 3, etc. w/suround sound, getting a sense of depth from the visuals and audio) but from what I've heard no game has capitalized on it yet. Hopefully, in addition to the games that boast 3d as a marketing gimmick (like movies), containing 3d aspects between negligible and bad, there will be game engines designed to render 3d graphics as impressively as the hardware can manage. These works would provide gaming experiences none of their 2d peers can touch and raise the bar of what consumers expect so similarly-good 3d's the industry standard. The most likely scenario this dream could incarnate by is FPSes. You can easily imagine some FPS developer priding itself on making a 3d engine better than anything that had been done before, players raving about how it's the best FPS yet, and competing FPS developers all mimicking this design aspect.

However, the ideal scenario is unlikely b/c of items like Nintendo's 3DS. It's nearly the same shit hardware + a gimmick (like Gamecube+lightgun remotes = wii) and it's selling well. Sega, Sony, and M$ have all developed consoles w/better hardware b/c they thought gamers valued good games. But Nintendo has proven time and again that people will buy their inferior hardware for the same price as competitor's offerings b/c they're ignorant. W/out any new companies entering the console market and Sony+M$ resorting to Nintendo's "add motion controls" strategy of console upgrades, the standard for console performance won't raise for the foreseeable future.

PCs are gamers' only refuge.

 

[siNwrath]

3D has potential to make a game more immersive (imagine playing Rage, Killzone 3, etc. w/suround sound, getting a sense of depth from the visuals and audio) but from what I've heard no game has capitalized on it yet. Hopefully, in addition to the games that boast 3d as a marketing gimmick (like movies), containing 3d aspects between negligible and bad, there will be game engines designed to render 3d graphics as impressively as the hardware can manage. These works would provide gaming experiences none of their 2d peers can touch and raise the bar of what consumers expect so similarly-good 3d's the industry standard. The most likely scenario this dream could incarnate by is FPSes. You can easily imagine some FPS developer priding itself on making a 3d engine better than anything that had been done before, players raving about how it's the best FPS yet, and competing FPS developers all mimicking this design aspect.

However, the ideal scenario is unlikely b/c of items like Nintendo's 3DS. It's nearly the same shit hardware + a gimmick (like Gamecube+lightgun remotes = wii) and it's selling well. Sega, Sony, and M$ have all developed consoles w/better hardware b/c they thought gamers valued good games. But Nintendo has proven time and again that people will buy their inferior hardware for the same price as competitor's offerings b/c they're ignorant. W/out any new companies entering the console market and Sony+M$ resorting to Nintendo's "add motion controls" strategy of console upgrades, the standard for console performance won't raise for the foreseeable future.

PCs are gamers' only refuge.

http://www.gameinformer.com/b/news/archive/2010/06/15/resident-evil-revelations-3ds-reaction.aspx

The DS could not render that. At. All.

The simple fact of the matter is that the GameCube was roughly on par with the XBox in terms of actual capability (Res Evil 4 probably being the bext example of what it could do, or rather what was done with it), though it was poorly recieved. Sure, Nintendo had a specific aim in mind for this generation with the Wii, and it doesn't coincide with your interests or many others who frequent these websites, but that doesn't make Nintendo bad. They're probably doing more to improve gaming's image and encourage widespread acceptance than you have or will.

Besides, Nintendo are releasing an HD console, and it will be aimed at the hardcore. More to the point the things you say make no sense. It is absolutely senseless to consider the casual gaming market your enemy. You will always have your hardcore games. They're bigger than ever in spite of casual gaming's insane successes. Gamers aren't buying Wiis over 360s. They're either buying Wiis as well as 360s, are into one or more of Nintendo's core franchises, or they're of the casual market that is in no way related to the hardcore market, except in that they play interactive games of a type.

In addition 3D is in no way intergral to the 3DS experience and can be turned off, or at least no game currently uses it to the point where this is the case, if indeed such a case is possible.

I would like to finish by adding that, if you're going to use raw computational, and graphical output as a measure of how successful, or good a console is then firstly, shame on you, and secondly the console market will always only ever win in the short term. PC will always dominate, because PC is ever changing, constantly updating, and evolving. We used to use IDE and AGP, now its SATA 2 or 3 and PCIe, etc. Consoles are always signicantly or wholy static, but that's essentially the point.

 

[Arren Kae]

1. The Gamecube's hardware's inferior to the xbox's. This isn't a question of whether you think Smash Bros looks better than Halo 2 it's a matter of what each system is capable of processing and rendering. It's not a matter of opinion.

2. wii games are cruder than previous games. They're lowering the bar. Game development standards slacking is not worth the approval or admiration of people glad there're finally games that don't require new skills be learned.

3. You apparently skimmed my first post so here's one of the bits you missed.

Sony+M$ [have resorted] to Nintendo's "add motion controls" strategy of console upgrades

That's how the casual market affects the hardcore. The PC is the gamer's platform. Consoles had been improving steadily to cater to gamers young/poor/disinterested enough to not get PCs. Now consoles are catering to people who don't play games.

Nintendo [is] releasing an HD console, and it will be aimed at the hardcore

Why, given Nintendo's sucessful wooing of n00bs and lessened attention to its' fanboys, do you think their marketing strategy is changing?

4. Hardware performance is a factual basis for measuring a console's ability. Your disregard for this standard implies a hatred for reality.

Consoles are always...static

Console manufacturers regularly update the components in their consoles to make them cheaper to produce and slightly improve performance.

 

[ArtemusClydeFrog]

I love Zero Punctuation, and I've watched all the videos several times, but the "Street Pass" bit was one of the things that I've laughed the most at.
Thank god that Nintendo keeps making all this crap for Yahtzee to rant about.

 

[akibawall95]

That was the most hilarious episode in a while. Keep up the great work Yahtzee!

 

[Valiant The Gamer]

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Nintendo's latest cash grab.

Finally someone who agrees with me.
I was trying to confess someone that the 3D DS is just another cash waste and he counterd with'but the ads said that it comes to you and the reviewers to' and 'But legend of zelda is gonna be Sooooo diffrent'.
And i did try the thing and i thought the same thing, a 3D box and it fucked up pretty fast.

 

[siNwrath]

1. The Gamecube's hardware's inferior to the xbox's. This isn't a question of whether you think Smash Bros looks better than Halo 2 it's a matter of what each system is capable of processing and rendering. It's not a matter of opinion.

2. wii games are cruder than previous games. They're lowering the bar. Game development standards slacking is not worth the approval or admiration of people glad there're finally games that don't require new skills be learned.

3. You apparently skimmed my first post so here's one of the bits you missed.

Sony+M$ [have resorted] to Nintendo's "add motion controls" strategy of console upgrades

That's how the casual market affects the hardcore. The PC is the gamer's platform. Consoles had been improving steadily to cater to gamers young/poor/disinterested enough to not get PCs. Now consoles are catering to people who don't play games.

Nintendo [is] releasing an HD console, and it will be aimed at the hardcore

Why, given Nintendo's sucessful wooing of n00bs and lessened attention to its' fanboys, do you think their marketing strategy is changing?

4. Hardware performance is a factual basis for measuring a console's ability. Your disregard for this standard implies a hatred for reality.

Consoles are always...static

Console manufacturers regularly update the components in their consoles to make them cheaper to produce and slightly improve performance.

I give up. You will always see what you want in whatever I say, and apparently I will always see what I want in whatever you say.

Truth be told, I think you're just trolling me at this point. I mean I hope you're just trolling me.