Zero Punctuation: The Conduit

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TransMando

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Jul 15, 2009
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My favorite part of the review is when Yahtzee says at 00:26 "I need something manly and hardcore". I think that sums up my feelings about the Wii. I had one up until June when I finally decided to sell it. I just couldn't get into it as a console and I never used it, so I did the world a favor and sold it to someone who would actually use it.

I don't think that it is this 'stain' on gaming like some do, it just isn't for me and I am allowed to feel that way. It can be fun and entertaining, but I am satisfied in no longer owning one.
 
Apr 17, 2009
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Hadoken_Master said:
Yet another reviewer who didn't actually play the game, and all of his loyal fans who hang on every word like he's always right. As always, failure you stupid worker bees. Hey you can't turn without pointing to the side of the screen... wait yes you can, you can set the control stick to turning, wow maybe I should have looked at the control options. Well at least I was right when I said you stop turning when the pointer goes off the screen.... wait you can change that in the control options too.... maybe I should pay attention to what I'm doing before I give my opinion on it...

As for the rest of you, if you don't realize this guy is a hack who just makes fun of games like this because it's funny and that not every game he thinks is shit is actually shit, then you're just showing me how stupid you all really are and I have yet another reason to fear for my life when I exit my house.

This review = Laziness, sure that's what being a reviewer is all about... sarcasm.
I believe the point he is making, the point you seem to have missed, is that while yes, you can go to the options and change the controls, why should you have to change the controls so that they do something that they should have done from the start? There are flying enemies, so looking up is an obvious action, yet you have to actually change the controls so that they do it. The hell is up with that?
 

Nightv

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May 24, 2009
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This was a really bad review. you missed many many things. what about the multiplayer, what about the full custom hub and controls, it only take a total of 5 mins to set them and there different for everyone. if you had a problem with the controls on this game it is your own fault, and this is coming from a ps3 and wii owner.

did you even really play this game. it seems like you did not because there is allot of notable things that you flat out missed or totally miss leading in your review. and about the look of the game or effects, i will say the back grounds need some work yes, but the enemy types and weapons had a good polish to them, and was even said to be a shock that they looked good, many news sites saying they where on par with ps3 and 360games. look im not telling you how to do your job, no no, im telling you to stop acting like your a real games review. your not a hack your an entertainer. you really need to let people know that before you post a review. And you need to tell people when you dont fully play the game as well.
 

Natural 20

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Apr 7, 2009
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Prove,
is a game with bad controls for an FPS. (90% metacritic rating, controls cited as one of the best parts of the game by the majority of reviewers.)

Then and ONLY then can you go on to say that all FPS games are hampered by the Wii's controls.

Because in the end, if one game can deliver keyboard and mouse levels of shooting accuracy then theoretically it is possible for all games on the same platform to do so. That is why motion control is as important as it is.

I couldn't care less about the Conduit or whether it's good or bad. What irritates me about Yahtzee's reviews, at least recently, is that they are compelling developers to ignore a viable and in my opinion, interesting development platform. When you have gems like MP3 or No More Heroes, or House of the Dead Overkill or Mario Galaxy on a platform, you don't sit there and conclude that because there haven't been good games recently the platform can never produce them. That's monumentally stupid. That's like a football team losing two games in a row and concluding they can never win again so they should give up.
 

eli_zee

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May 25, 2009
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yo yahtzee nice videos I agree with you about the wii subject and I quote "is a little spunk bubble shining through the teeth of a crack whore" but i disagre about you averlord 2 review it is not like the fable games fable is a great game it has great ideas but it seems that lionhead studios need to stop using heroine and start hearing more to the fans

-peasce out
 

144_v1legacy

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Tiakinz said:
144 said:
Tiakinz said:
144 said:
Tiakinz said:
Hey, all you guys going on about how you can adjust the controls and all that?

Let's put it this way, I shouldn't /have/ to adjust them just so I can look up, down or what have you. It's just good game design to make that the /default/ rather than a customization.

Kthx.

PS. Wii fanwhores: Hush now, no one's really listening to you anyway. <3
It's true, for the most part, that adjusting controls should really be for slight tweaking, and shouldn't be something that make the difference between being able to and not being able to turn or look up. But the sheer number of posts in response to the defending of the wii shows that those defending are, obviously, being listened to. It also leads me to believe that Yahtzee is enough in the minority in his dislike of the wii that it's really more of a bias on his part than an impartial observation. I wonder, though, whether Yahtzee's opinion of the wii would have changed if the conduit was good...
A few things - The Wii *isn't* a good system. It has a few games that are good(oh oh, FOR THE WII), and a few that are faintly amusing at best when you're shitfaced off your knackers and don't know any better anyway.

Second- Most of what I saw in regards to wiiwhores was either open mockery of them, or telling them they're wrong. If they were being /listened/ to, opinion would shift to match their own.

Call it semantics if you will, don't bother me none. <3
I'm surprised you're so quick to be such an obvious troll after only two posts. I wonder if you've been banned for something? Not that you'd admit it if it were true, so you'd be hard pressed to convince me to believe otherwise.

Your steadfast hatred of the Wii implies that you probably don't know enough about it to really have a decent trustworthy opinion, in much the same way I haven't ever played halo, and can therefore say nothing as to its merits or faults. However, what I can say is what statistics say, and statistics say that more people have a wii. What I can also say is that the Wii does not have a very strong lineup of games for someone who plays them quickly and constantly. For someone with a life outside of gaming, say, a person with a job (me in the summer) or a person in college (me otherwise) this generally isn't the case. For us, there are enough genuinely amazing games (not just my own opinion, but the shared opinion of friends, acquaintances, and, more importantly, many critics alike) to last plenty long enough, and they're piling up even, waiting to be played, and I want to play them all. Furthermore, graphics aren't entirely controlled by a system. As was shown by a variety of games on all systems, it's really the developers that have the most control of how the graphics on any given console can be made to look their best. And graphics are really generally not enough of an issue to be bothered by, unless they're particularly noticeably bad. And no, the good wii games are not that.

I will now take a moment to pick apart your statement and find all the things that are wrong with it.

You say that the wii isn't a good system, but I think that given the amount of people saying otherwise and the enjoyment my friends and I get playing it prove that not to be the case. Yes, there are games that are "good for the wii," but there are also games that are "good". It has genuinely good games. Even Yahtzee's admitted that, and on multiple occasions, usually in areas other than Zero Punctuation, but occasionally there too. Your use of the word "amusing" implies that you think you're somehow more intelligent than, and above people who, own a wii, which is a very egotistical and shallow thing to think. It implies that you've viewed from a distance, but never actually attempted to enjoy the wii, because of that formerly mentioned state of mind. Plenty of us play all the consoles, especially in a college environment (I know that's the second time I've brought that up - I'm not trying to shield behind that fact, it's just that it makes a good example and statistic sample), and have therefore had enough experience to formulate a good opinion on all consoles. Naturally, this becomes biased based on your closer friends, so if all your friends like the PS3 and make fun of the Wii, you probably will too, much like how in high school for me everyone had the same console and everyone who didn't was wrong for some reason. You keep saying things like "wiiwhores," which gives me pause to wonder if you didn't notice that not everyone defending the wii made an invalid argument, in much the same way that most of the people who attack it do. It also supports my theory of your opinion I got from the word amuse. And, as a good segway from that, those attacking the wii, "open mockery/telling them they're wrong" is a poor argument, and one that is generally formed when the attacker can't think of any other reasons to support his own view, much the same way politicians attack each others' credibility when there's nothing wrong with their opponents' policies. Next, you seem to be confusing the meanings of "listen" and "becoming convinced." I listen to the ideas my friends have about studying. They're all different. I don't agree with all of them. But I listened to them. After hearing them, I decided, based on my listening, that I would disagree with most of them and only agree with my friend who got good grades all the time.

Finally, to say that it doesn't "bother you none" is quite an apparent hypocritical and commonly used argumentative shield, that is used to make the poster feel as though he isn't taking the argument as seriously as a fanboy, when he most definitely is, otherwise the comment would be unnecessary. If it doesn't bother you, you wouldn't have posted that in a REPLY to your previous post. Clearly, something bothered you a bit.

And another thing: the first thing I said in my quote of your post was in agreement to something you said - that you shouldn't have to adjust default settings to make a game playable. I agreed with you, and then you called people who defend the wii idiots (or implied it, anyway). What's that say about you? Hmm?

Maybe you should have done more listening. And also, don't do this: <3. It makes it hard to take you seriously if you're trying to make a point.
Sweetheart, the very fact that you went into such a long winded diatribe about your beliefs upon my experiences with the Wii and, /personal/ opinion on the system indicates you care far too much.

And, if I so choose, I shall use a <3 when and where I please.

I have played the Wii, point of fact. I have a lot of experience with the Wii, and the systems competing with it. I don't think it's that great of a system, fin. Calling me a troll and heading into a paragraphs long explanation of why my opinion is wrong and how I clearly believe i'm far above the rest of you just means you have more time on your hands than one is led to believe in your diatribe, and that perchance you have nothing better to do than make personality judgements based off what is essentially, nothing.

Essentially, one can view all your superfluous extrapolations upon what i'm saying as you in turn trolling me and being a hypocrite. The fact remains, you're taking some text on a forum, from a random comment to heart more than I, and perhaps the majority of people who've commented on this thread - however I won't pretend I know how they think and feel, just as you've decided to pretend you know how I do.

Meanwhile, I shall keep to my particular writing style and giggle about how much it seems to matter to you.

Alas, the internet is such a wonderful thing, non?
Damn right I take this more seriously than you.

I never said I didn't. I just said you were pretending you didn't take this seriously. And since you're post is also very long, I seem to have been right about at least that.

You should look up the definition of "troll."

"In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts controversial, inflammatory, irrelevant or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room or blog, with the primary intent of provoking other users into an emotional or disciplinary response[1] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion." - wikipedia

Troll posts are generally short. People who say "yea, th wi iz teh suckzorz" or something are trolls. You and I are not those. After viewing your later posts I rescind that comment the view that you are one.

Also, damn right I take this to heart. It hurts when someone says you have a poor opinion. It is human nature to try and convince them otherwise, to some degree. Yahtzee once said that if you like a game and see a poor review, it shouldn't bother you, but I think it should, since no one likes to be told, especially by someone important, that they are incorrect. I am not trying to convince you that the Conduit is a good game. I am trying to see if you refute my other points, rather than attacking my credibility, something I realized I did to you, and am doing now, but only in addition to making what I think are valid points.

Those valid points:
The wii is a better system than Yahtzee gives it credit for.
There are many very good games on the wii that are more than comparable to those on other systems, albeit the other systems may have better third-party games.
Third-party developers have yet to understand how to make a game that utilizes the wii to its full capacity.
People who make large-scale slanderous statements tend to come off as people who are condemning something they don't know enough about, and don't wish to learn more of, i.e., ignorant.
People who lead busy lives don't actually need that many games, although that's not an excuse for bad games being made.

I gave a few possible explanations for such behavior. I have yet to get one from the slanderers. Perhaps you'll be the first.

And as for the free time, my internship ended Friday. I have a large pile of wii games I'd like to get to playing, but I'm still in my NYC apartment and the wii is at home. I realize there was no way for you to know that about my current scenario, but the point is still valid.

But I am impressed by your rebuttal. Well done (not sarcastic, I promise). I usually get more mind-numbing filth.
 

144_v1legacy

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Apr 25, 2008
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Natural 20 said:
Prove,
is a game with bad controls for an FPS. (90% metacritic rating, controls cited as one of the best parts of the game by the majority of reviewers.)

Then and ONLY then can you go on to say that all FPS games are hampered by the Wii's controls.

Because in the end, if one game can deliver keyboard and mouse levels of shooting accuracy then theoretically it is possible for all games on the same platform to do so. That is why motion control is as important as it is.

I couldn't care less about the Conduit or whether it's good or bad. What irritates me about Yahtzee's reviews, at least recently, is that they are compelling developers to ignore a viable and in my opinion, interesting development platform. When you have gems like MP3 or No More Heroes, or House of the Dead Overkill or Mario Galaxy on a platform, you don't sit there and conclude that because there haven't been good games recently the platform can never produce them. That's monumentally stupid. That's like a football team losing two games in a row and concluding they can never win again so they should give up.
Here here! A toast to someone who makes a good post and agrees with me!
 

echelon22

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Aug 16, 2009
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If only there was a way to fix all of those control issues Yahtzee complained about. Oh wait - THERE IS! It's called the OPTIONS MENU, but apparently Yahtzee was so determined to hate the game that he didn't even bother pausing the game, opening up 'control options' and increasing the vertical look angle so he could see the things above him, or turn on the option of making the character turn when the remote was pointed off the screen. Every single thing about the controls that he bitched about could be fixed in a few seconds just by adjusting the settings.
 

Flying-Emu

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Oct 30, 2008
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sunpop said:
Well making an actual game on the Wii is pointless unless it's a part of a never ending series like Zelda. The system is only for crappy casual party games these days anyway the idea anyone is still trying to make serious even close to hardcore games is baffling.

Oh and I noticed the 90day suspension for saying first and I feel the best part is he got 90days for being 2nd because zp was first also causing the kid below him to get banned for 7 days because he was caught in the gravitational pull of the person above him's stupid.
No More Heroes? I'd call that a hardcore game; the gratuitous amounts of blood and tits don't exactly tie into a strong casual following.
 

Catfoot

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Jul 29, 2009
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How coem so many people are saying Yahtzee isnt like, fair in his reviews?
The point of them is to make people laugh and point out what he thinks are the worst points.
If you want consumer advice go to IGN or buy a magazine or whatever.

On a side note, 80% of the wii's games are shit, another 10% are games that most people would never play and the other 10% are some really awesome games IMO.
 

Ghonzor

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Jul 29, 2009
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To anyone who changed their decision to buy this game because of this review...stop that!

Make your own decisions. Don't have Yahtzee make them for you.
 

13lackfriday

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Feb 10, 2009
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Hahahaha, first figurative LOL in a while.
The self-reflection and political relevance were a plus, heh heh.

You make a good point in that the Wii has been getting by for too long on low standards.
Instead of trying to make up for its obvious graphical as well as precision control-related inadequacies, games should just try to make the best of their platform, as cruel a fate as it may be.

Honestly, the controls in Metroid Prime 3 were a bother, saved only by the faithful lock-on system.
 

HSIAMetalKing

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144 said:
Tiakinz said:
144 said:
Tiakinz said:
144 said:
Tiakinz said:
Hey, all you guys going on about how you can adjust the controls and all that?

Let's put it this way, I shouldn't /have/ to adjust them just so I can look up, down or what have you. It's just good game design to make that the /default/ rather than a customization.

Kthx.

PS. Wii fanwhores: Hush now, no one's really listening to you anyway. <3
It's true, for the most part, that adjusting controls should really be for slight tweaking, and shouldn't be something that make the difference between being able to and not being able to turn or look up. But the sheer number of posts in response to the defending of the wii shows that those defending are, obviously, being listened to. It also leads me to believe that Yahtzee is enough in the minority in his dislike of the wii that it's really more of a bias on his part than an impartial observation. I wonder, though, whether Yahtzee's opinion of the wii would have changed if the conduit was good...
A few things - The Wii *isn't* a good system. It has a few games that are good(oh oh, FOR THE WII), and a few that are faintly amusing at best when you're shitfaced off your knackers and don't know any better anyway.

Second- Most of what I saw in regards to wiiwhores was either open mockery of them, or telling them they're wrong. If they were being /listened/ to, opinion would shift to match their own.

Call it semantics if you will, don't bother me none. <3
I'm surprised you're so quick to be such an obvious troll after only two posts. I wonder if you've been banned for something? Not that you'd admit it if it were true, so you'd be hard pressed to convince me to believe otherwise.

Your steadfast hatred of the Wii implies that you probably don't know enough about it to really have a decent trustworthy opinion, in much the same way I haven't ever played halo, and can therefore say nothing as to its merits or faults. However, what I can say is what statistics say, and statistics say that more people have a wii. What I can also say is that the Wii does not have a very strong lineup of games for someone who plays them quickly and constantly. For someone with a life outside of gaming, say, a person with a job (me in the summer) or a person in college (me otherwise) this generally isn't the case. For us, there are enough genuinely amazing games (not just my own opinion, but the shared opinion of friends, acquaintances, and, more importantly, many critics alike) to last plenty long enough, and they're piling up even, waiting to be played, and I want to play them all. Furthermore, graphics aren't entirely controlled by a system. As was shown by a variety of games on all systems, it's really the developers that have the most control of how the graphics on any given console can be made to look their best. And graphics are really generally not enough of an issue to be bothered by, unless they're particularly noticeably bad. And no, the good wii games are not that.

I will now take a moment to pick apart your statement and find all the things that are wrong with it.

You say that the wii isn't a good system, but I think that given the amount of people saying otherwise and the enjoyment my friends and I get playing it prove that not to be the case. Yes, there are games that are "good for the wii," but there are also games that are "good". It has genuinely good games. Even Yahtzee's admitted that, and on multiple occasions, usually in areas other than Zero Punctuation, but occasionally there too. Your use of the word "amusing" implies that you think you're somehow more intelligent than, and above people who, own a wii, which is a very egotistical and shallow thing to think. It implies that you've viewed from a distance, but never actually attempted to enjoy the wii, because of that formerly mentioned state of mind. Plenty of us play all the consoles, especially in a college environment (I know that's the second time I've brought that up - I'm not trying to shield behind that fact, it's just that it makes a good example and statistic sample), and have therefore had enough experience to formulate a good opinion on all consoles. Naturally, this becomes biased based on your closer friends, so if all your friends like the PS3 and make fun of the Wii, you probably will too, much like how in high school for me everyone had the same console and everyone who didn't was wrong for some reason. You keep saying things like "wiiwhores," which gives me pause to wonder if you didn't notice that not everyone defending the wii made an invalid argument, in much the same way that most of the people who attack it do. It also supports my theory of your opinion I got from the word amuse. And, as a good segway from that, those attacking the wii, "open mockery/telling them they're wrong" is a poor argument, and one that is generally formed when the attacker can't think of any other reasons to support his own view, much the same way politicians attack each others' credibility when there's nothing wrong with their opponents' policies. Next, you seem to be confusing the meanings of "listen" and "becoming convinced." I listen to the ideas my friends have about studying. They're all different. I don't agree with all of them. But I listened to them. After hearing them, I decided, based on my listening, that I would disagree with most of them and only agree with my friend who got good grades all the time.

Finally, to say that it doesn't "bother you none" is quite an apparent hypocritical and commonly used argumentative shield, that is used to make the poster feel as though he isn't taking the argument as seriously as a fanboy, when he most definitely is, otherwise the comment would be unnecessary. If it doesn't bother you, you wouldn't have posted that in a REPLY to your previous post. Clearly, something bothered you a bit.

And another thing: the first thing I said in my quote of your post was in agreement to something you said - that you shouldn't have to adjust default settings to make a game playable. I agreed with you, and then you called people who defend the wii idiots (or implied it, anyway). What's that say about you? Hmm?

Maybe you should have done more listening. And also, don't do this: <3. It makes it hard to take you seriously if you're trying to make a point.
Sweetheart, the very fact that you went into such a long winded diatribe about your beliefs upon my experiences with the Wii and, /personal/ opinion on the system indicates you care far too much.

And, if I so choose, I shall use a <3 when and where I please.

I have played the Wii, point of fact. I have a lot of experience with the Wii, and the systems competing with it. I don't think it's that great of a system, fin. Calling me a troll and heading into a paragraphs long explanation of why my opinion is wrong and how I clearly believe i'm far above the rest of you just means you have more time on your hands than one is led to believe in your diatribe, and that perchance you have nothing better to do than make personality judgements based off what is essentially, nothing.

Essentially, one can view all your superfluous extrapolations upon what i'm saying as you in turn trolling me and being a hypocrite. The fact remains, you're taking some text on a forum, from a random comment to heart more than I, and perhaps the majority of people who've commented on this thread - however I won't pretend I know how they think and feel, just as you've decided to pretend you know how I do.

Meanwhile, I shall keep to my particular writing style and giggle about how much it seems to matter to you.

Alas, the internet is such a wonderful thing, non?
Damn right I take this more seriously than you.

I never said I didn't. I just said you were pretending you didn't take this seriously. And since you're post is also very long, I seem to have been right about at least that.

You should look up the definition of "troll."

"In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts controversial, inflammatory, irrelevant or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room or blog, with the primary intent of provoking other users into an emotional or disciplinary response[1] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion." - wikipedia

Troll posts are generally short. People who say "yea, th wi iz teh suckzorz" or something are trolls. You and I are not those. After viewing your later posts I rescind that comment the view that you are one.

Also, damn right I take this to heart. It hurts when someone says you have a poor opinion. It is human nature to try and convince them otherwise, to some degree. Yahtzee once said that if you like a game and see a poor review, it shouldn't bother you, but I think it should, since no one likes to be told, especially by someone important, that they are incorrect. I am not trying to convince you that the Conduit is a good game. I am trying to see if you refute my other points, rather than attacking my credibility, something I realized I did to you, and am doing now, but only in addition to making what I think are valid points.

Those valid points:
The wii is a better system than Yahtzee gives it credit for.
There are many very good games on the wii that are more than comparable to those on other systems, albeit the other systems may have better third-party games.
Third-party developers have yet to understand how to make a game that utilizes the wii to its full capacity.
People who make large-scale slanderous statements tend to come off as people who are condemning something they don't know enough about, and don't wish to learn more of, i.e., ignorant.
People who lead busy lives don't actually need that many games, although that's not an excuse for bad games being made.

I gave a few possible explanations for such behavior. I have yet to get one from the slanderers. Perhaps you'll be the first.

And as for the free time, my internship ended Friday. I have a large pile of wii games I'd like to get to playing, but I'm still in my NYC apartment and the wii is at home. I realize there was no way for you to know that about my current scenario, but the point is still valid.

But I am impressed by your rebuttal. Well done (not sarcastic, I promise). I usually get more mind-numbing filth.
And the story has a happy ending AFTER ALL. LET US BE FRIENDS.
 

aragorn546

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Jun 19, 2007
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Thank you so much for the under a killing moon reference. Tex murphy games seem to get forgotten when people discuss pc adventure games and suck off roberta williams for a few pages
 

Cavouku

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I'm not going to not buy it because Yahtzee said it's bad. I'm going to not buy it because I generally dislike FPSs, and am weary about spending the money at this moment. And whoever-it-was had a point that just because someone says you're wrong doesn't mean you have to yell "I'm right" back at them.

If you're so offended by being insulted, then don't be, that's all I can say. I really don't understand why it's so insecuring to be told things by people that don't matter, if you don't want them to.

Pick your battles. The Conduit's goodness/badness isn't one to fight for. Yahtzee tries to be funny, so stop looking at it from the "I like the game/I don't like the game" standpoint.

Try it yourself if you can spare the time, a review is more for developers than fans. Telling them things they should do or fix, and such. It's not something to derive an opinion from.

EDIT: And it's certainly not something to derive an opinion of an opinion from.
 

Keile

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Aug 17, 2009
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Ok:

This review has thoroughly proven to me that even if the best game ever was released on the Wii, Yahtzee would hate it. I couldn't even finish watching this review because of all the bullshit at the beginning, especially about the controls. Hey Yahtzee did you know you can *gasp* Fully customize the controls? You can shrink the dead zone so that you DON'T have to aim to the edge of the screen to turn. The graphics actually are very good for a Wii game as well because everything is Bump Mapped, something no other Wii Game has. The reason for the "Wall panted cities" was because who gives a fuck what's outside the window? Why waste polygons on something pointless when you can put them into the actual level itself?

The Gameplay is your standard run and gun cliche ridden FPS which isn't a BAD thing. The game has a very Perfect Dark feel to it which was the intent from the start. Also keep in mind that for the most part this game was entirely independently funded, they whole game was nearly complete when Sega finally stepped up to produce it.


I gotta say it, but Yahtzee no matter what game comes out on the Wii, you will hate it. You are nothing more than glorified Wii-hater with shallow arguments. You continually complain about the controller which is one of the best ones around but it's "different" so you don't like it.

I dare you to play a Wii game such as Metroid Prime 3 or Punch-Out!!, but you MIGHT actually enjoy it...can't have Yahtzee enjoying a Wii game can we?