Zero Punctuation: The Conduit

[SkylerRock]

You know, every once in a while I'm walking through my local HMV or GAME and I think to myself, "Golly, that Guitar Hero World Tour looks half interesting as a party piece, and if I got a Wii to play it on I might finally get some exercise in my life."

Then I watch one of Yahtzee's reviews and remember that exercise is over-rated and if I really feel the need I can save two hundred quid and simply go for a walk.

 

[Rylingo]

Im surprised Yahtzee didnt mention the invisible mines that float midair and blow you to bits unless your using the ASE ball. These mines dont blow up when enemies run through them however. Oh no that would be way to easy. Instead you have invisible opponents and invisible landmines giving you a hammering.

Its should be a good game but there are some clear faults. Wii users continue to search for a better FPS than W@W.

 

[crooked_ferret]

...and this my friends is why my Wii resides to this very day in a closet where it can do no harm to anyone. I had considered selling it to someone but I'm simply just not that cruel.

That being said at least a few semi-interesting titles are on the horizon, the new wolfenstien is due in about a week, and looks worth a play through even if it isn't the greatest thing ever.

That being said I have to agree with the sentiment that the Wii was released before it was really ready, it's the only thing that explains the add on just to make the darn controller function properly. The conduit is as I thought apparently not a genre defining addition to the completely no genre defining list of games for the Wii thus far. If you want to play with friends I would suggest going to a club and dancing, who knows you might actually meet some girls while you're out...

 

[ThreeKneeNick]

Could someone tell me who the mystery guy that appears in a lot of ZP reviews is?

I think it would help me understand the jokes.

 

[jak1165]

I've learned to not really take Yahtzee's reviews of Wii games too seriously. One could be released that actually does what he's alluded to and crap out gold, liquid awesome, and hookers and he would still ***** about the fact that he has to flail his arms around and the game sucks because of it

 

[magnuslion]

another hilarious review.

pew pew pew pew!!! im soooo glad I dont have a wii. watching my cousin play his occassionaly is good enough for me to get the laughs Yahtzee throws out.

 

[Paquito]

- If the graphics "sucked" it was purely a result of the artists at High Voltage lacking talent. The graphics engine itself is pretty impressive.

- That said, Yahtzee's point about cutting corners to accommodate the engine is a good one. Gameplay is king, and Wii's limited horsepower would be better spent on more intelligent AI, a variety in gameplay mechanics (example: vehicle combat), etc.

- Yahtzee obviously didn't explore the controls menu. EVERY aspect of the game could be remapped; motions could be remapped to buttons, run speed could be made faster, and the pointer settings could be modified so you could turn on a dime. Without question, The Conduit controls better than any console FPS.

- Point in fact, High Voltage stated early in the development cycle that they were making a generic shooter. The idea was that they wanted to focus on creating compelling gameplay that took full advantage of Wii's strengths (for an FPS, it's the pointer controls). That said, the fact that their multiplayer matches are ridiculously framey is an epic fail. Multiplayer should have been the main appeal of the game, and it's severely flawed.


- If development costs are so much cheaper on the Wii, why do new Wii games cost nearly as much as new XBox360 games? The Conduit should have been released at $30; it would have been a reasonable purchase then.

 

[der_smon]

Why "und natürlich" at 3:52? 0_-

I think it's German for whatever Yahtzee was saying then.

It means "and of course", I just wondered why he used german. Random, i guess...

 

[thegamingbrit]

Actually you can adjust the controls so that the camera turns when pointing outside of screen which I found a lot better.

 

[-Orgasmatron-]

L.O.FUCKING.L

That was one of the funniest things I've seen in awhile.

 

[Cogzwell]

Could someone tell me who the mystery guy that appears in a lot of ZP reviews is?

I think it would help me understand the jokes.

omg how do you not Know?!... It's average man

 

[mayney93]

yahtzee have u ever heard of Charlie brooker u seem to have similar styles, and the wii is a shit console its what drove me to Pc gaming the only good thing that came out of that phase of my life

 

[dstryfe]

Well, I think I found out why Yahtzee never reads the damned threads, if the asshats at the forefront of this one are to be considered representative of how things go. It's quite sad, really.

I had never heard of the Conduit before this review, but it kinda makes me feel like I'm going to be hearing a lot of it in the near future. If this was originally brought to Yahtzee's attention as a competent non-casual Wii game, then it will probably be held up by my Wii-owning friends as the same. I'm constantly bugging them about choosing the Wii, and how it has no real games (save a Zelda or Mario title or two), and I think I'll be getting a "then you've never played the Conduit" many times in the near future. To which I shall refer them here. Thanks Yahtzee!

 

[NinjaRebel]

When I first saw this game I thought wow a redemption for the Wii! Then I saw the screen shots and read more about it and that is what finally pushed me to selling my Wii. After months of collecting dust I decided to upgrade to a much better way of gaming and got a 360, best decision I have ever made so far.

 

[KeyMaster45]

I think that was one of Yahtzee's most brutal reviews since SSBB, can we expect another fan mail segment where he tears into Wii fanboys?

 

[CroutonsOfDeath]

Awesome review as always. I was never interested in the Conduit mostly because High Voltage games has never impressed me in the past, and it just didn't look like it would do anything interesting.

 

[Angus565]

Wow. I'm used to him hating the Wii, but this one seemed even angrier than usual.

Probably because he reviewed a Wii game last week.

 

[veloper]

I loved this review, but Yahtzee bashing the control scheme of this game is making me a bit suspicious too.
I'm wondering if Yahtzee is actually any good at playing games.

The controls of the conduit are praised in nearly all reviews. Even in reviews where they pick apart every other aspect of the game, the controls still get alot of praise, often hailing it as the best controls of any console fps.

Obviously keyboard + mouse is the way to play an FPS, but everyone appears to be able to get good use out of the wiimote in this game.

 

[A Pious Cultist]

I thought he was being overly scathing in that review... until I noticed he used the phrase "enemy spawner" at which point all criticisms became deserved.