Zero Punctuation: The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings

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Canadamus Prime

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Jun 17, 2009
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Hmmm, sounds about as dull as the first game.
And incidentally I'm not a console gamer or a PC gamer, I'll play games on anything that plays games.
 

Gildan Bladeborn

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Aug 11, 2009
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esliang said:
I'm really not sure how seriously to take this review...Yahtzee's pretty insightful but can this game really be that tedious? I've always kind of wanted to try it.
Nope, it is quite hard, and it doesn't have any sort of hand-holding tutorial and sort of expects you to notice you have a bunch of abilities and start the game with bombs and traps and therefore figure out that you should, you know, use them without being prompted, but there's an answer for pretty much all the problems people seem to have with it: There is a setting labeled "Easy".

Which is, shockingly enough, easy - you'll still die quite a lot if you approach the game like a typical hack-and-slash, but you'll generally be able to live through one or two mistakes. A lot of which arise because the combat system doesn't work like people think it does - you can actually change directions mid-roll when evading, and the targeting is based on where you have the mouse pointed at the time, not by pressing a direction button and clicking. Once you've figured that out combat starts to flow in a way very reminiscent of Batman: Arkham Asylum, with Geralt smoothly transitioning from one foe to the next while evading attacks.

And of course there are plants and materials practically everywhere, which you can pick up and then make tons of potions and bombs. Yahtzee's complaints about the overlong "drinking potions" animation are actually spot on, and you can't use them unless you enter "meditation mode" first (there aren't quite as many steps as he suggests it takes though, that was comedic exaggeration), but the average player will have acquired so many ingredients (with plant parts being weightless so there's no reason not to pick every mushroom or flower you see) that there's no reason you should ever need to walk out of town without say... Swallow and Rook up (plus maybe a Tawny Owl). There are a lot of potion recipes and a bunch of them involve tradeoffs and can be combined in novel ways, but in general you can't really go wrong with vitality regeneration, extra damage, and faster stamina regeneration (all with no penalties).

Also, bombs - you can make tons of those things and they do AoE, and with bombs like Samum there's a chance to stun, in addition to the straight damage they deal. Stunning is great because attacks against a stunned opponent trigger an insta-kill animation that also renders Geralt invincible while it's playing, which makes the Aard sign far more useful than the knockdown and minor damage it always does would suggest. Traps can also be quite useful and come in a similarly bewildering variety of flavors, and throwing daggers do ridiculous amounts of damage - so much so that you can defeat the game's final (possible) opponent in seconds simply by tossing those at him (which is why players looking for a challenge are advised not to, heh). A lot of games teach or otherwise encourage us to hoard our inventories or avoid "cheap" tactics, but The Witcher 2 is a game that gives you this varied toolbox and expects you to actually use it; wading into a hoard of enemies and thinking you'll be able to simply hack and slash your way to victory is a sure-fire trip to the Game Over screen.

As for the complaint about the first major boss, you can skip all the cutscenes, generally simply by left clicking or pressing Space - the longer ones bring up a small "Press Right Mouse Button to skip" prompt if you do that though; right-clicking at that point then skips the cutscene like normal. If you didn't mean to click through the cutscene (and I quite frequently click the mouse accidentally while watching cutscenes), the on-screen prompt goes away after a few seconds and you don't have to reload to watch a cutscene you've accidentally skipped through, so I like that they make you "confirm" it on the longer and more elaborate scenes. Yahtzee must have either missed that prompt or chose to claim there's a 5-minute (not true) unskippable cutscene (also not true) because that sounds funnier than the reality (very true).

If you've been interested in the game I would certainly not let this critique dissuade you from playing it - a lot of people were turned off of the first one thanks to Yahtzee likening it to a single-player MMORPG only to learn that he was full of it when someone else actually convinced them to sit down and play it. Yahtzee didn't really harp on any faults that all the various review sites heaping glowing praise on the game didn't already point out in their own very favorable reviews, so it's not like everyone else is willfully overlooking those points and Mr. Sarcastic fast-talking British fellow is the only one telling it like is: he just doesn't like the game, while quite a lot of other people do.

Edit: Enhancements are actually extremely easy to figure out - the game will highlight any of the various slots (hands, feet, legs, armor, steel sword, silver sword, trophy, and a row for "pockets") when you have an item in your inventory that applies to those slots highlighted - to use enhancements you simply drag and drop them onto the armor/weapon you want to enhance (weapons and armor that can be enhanced have little empty circles indicated enhancement slots that fill up when you apply them), then say yes when it asks if you really want to do that.

Mutagens though could have been designed better - you have to be in the character progression screen and have an ability with a mutator slot highlighted before the context option to apply a mutagen appears, and since not every ability on the character screen has those slots it isn't readily apparent that you even have that option at first. Also the button only appears while the mouse is over the icon for the upgradable skill, but they put the button along the bottom side of the screen so you can't actually click it with the mouse, and will have to push the key-binding that it indicates (it defaults to Enter). I'm hoping that and a few other interface niggles (like no "junk" tab despite a junk category of inventory items, retaining useless quest items after things like the doors they unlocked are long behind you, and the absurdly slow scroll rate for recipes and crafting diagrams that makes you wait for ages to see what ingredients a recipe/diagram you don't own will require[footnote]If you do have a diagram it adds an entry in the journal under the crafting tab, which displays all the relevant info on one screen, so at least it's only really aggravating while you're shopping.[/footnote]) will be patched out like some of the other things they've already addressed (among them the difficulty of the prologue, supposedly they've made it easier).

canadamus_prime said:
Hmmm, sounds about as dull as the first game.
And incidentally I'm not a console gamer or a PC gamer, I'll play games on anything that plays games.
Nothing could be further from the truth - obviously I was someone who actually liked the first game, so I wouldn't have called it dull to begin with, but there were definitely slower sections and parts that dragged on a bit. I could certainly understand how people approaching it with a different mindset than mine would find the whole thing tedious though.

But the sequel "dull"? Yeah, that's a load of bollocks. You may still end up not liking it, but it won't be because the game is dull - compared to the original it is ridiculously fast-paced and engaging (it's about par for the course in terms of other action RPGs); just about everything apart from the characters and setting has changed, mechanically it's an entirely different game. Yahtzee just doesn't ever really bother mentioning that fact in this pitiful attempt at a review (but extremely successful attempt at a comedy video, it was quite funny if not particularly informative).
 

YoungZer0

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Nov 28, 2007
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Well, i think it's fair to say that he's just completely incompetent as a gamer. If you can't figure out how to use potions, you're lost.

How hard is it to click on the name of a potion? How?
 

Imp_Emissary

Mages Rule, and Dragons Fly!
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May 2, 2011
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Kahunaburger said:
Feriluce said:
No..no it doesn't. I have yet to see a single game that tells you "Press buttan x to skip cutscene". There is a limited amount of buttons you'd expect to skip a cutscene, namely space, esc, enter and the mouse buttons. Thats about 5 buttons to go through. Apparantly thats too much for the console crowd to handle though.
Witcher 2 does, actually - if you hit a button other than right click to skip a cutscene, it pops up a little "right click: skip cutscene" sign in the right-hand part of your screen. This may have been added in in one of the patches, though, which would explain why Yahtzee didn't see it.

Mariusmssj said:
This is not a review, if the reviewer can't even bother to play the game why did he even put this up?
And at the end it all just came down to mocking the pc gaming.
No, it's not a review - Yahtzee's more of a critic. And his entire point was that the game's (often pointless) dense-ness makes it very hard to approach.

Imp Emissary said:
Also, NO, I don't think the game is bad. However, what Yahtzee says about it is mostly true, and he isn't the only (or even first) person to talk about it. The game could be better, but that doesn't make it a bad game.

Calm down everyone. Its all for fun. :)
^This. I'm playing the game now and so far I think it's probably one of the best I've played, period. But, I enjoyed this review and think a lot of the criticism we're seeing here is absolutely correct - the interface is needlessly complex, the difficulty curve is incredibly harsh (he should just count his lucky stars he didn't get to Letho), and the combat system, while one of the best in terms of flexibility and tactics, is also incredibly clunky, and so on. And anyone who rages at Yathzee for pointing out the flaws in what they like needs to work on their pattern recognition.

The one criticism I don't get is the potion thing. You're not going to be able to drink a potion in the middle of a fight, because that would leave you wide open. The planning ahead is not that ridiculous, given that basically every big fight with only a few exceptions at the very least lets you know you're fighting something, and more often than not lets you take your sweet time researching exactly what that something is. Really, how hard is it to say "gee, I'm fighting a giant bug, which my research tells me is poisonous. Maybe I should take a potion for health regen, a potion to protect me from poison, and a coat my blade in the oil insects are weak to." Even if you have no idea what you're fighting, you can really never go wrong with health regen :)
About the Potion thing. I kind of get why he would be a bit mad, but like Yahtzee said once himself; "I exaggerate every little grip for comic effect...". However, since almost all other times in games when you take a potion its just a quick swig from some glass, I get how it can be a bit annoying to have to do it out of battle, but they did give good reasons
why(mechanical and story). Plus you and Yahtzee make good points about what to do too. You can just use health regen if you don't know whats coming, or you can save game, find out, and go back to prepare.

I do hope they bring it to the consoles. It looks pretty good. >_< I hate having to read manuals though. Ah well. You get what you pay and work for, right?
 

UMNiK

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Feb 10, 2010
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Honestly, Yahtzee should stick with saints row. Otherwise, he might have to apply his brains.
 

Vrud

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Danial said:
God this will end well, will be full of PC nuts getting mad for no reason, Console nuts getting smug for no reason and the rest of humanity wishing people cared about actual important things with the same passion people seem to care about what platform you play use to conduct your hobby.

Fact, Neither PC gaming nor Console is better, if you genuinely believe that you are a better human being than someone who uses a differing system than you... then... wow...


PS funny review.
I gathered up every manner of console and computer I could find and taped them all together so that I could be the best human being of all.
 

Rabarberskurk

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Mar 31, 2010
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gellert1984 said:
Yahtzee's consistancy sucks. He bitches about games that hold your hand, then bitches about games that don't, complains about games that are so oversimplified a monkey could play them but if you need more buttons than are available on a joypad he throws his toys out the pram...
Not hypocrisy, if that's what you're getting at. There's a sweet spot between all that.
 

Danial

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Vrud said:
I gathered up every manner of console and computer I could find and taped them all together so that I could be the best person of all.
That would contain a virtual boy and a Philips CDI, which makes you worse than Hitler.
 

Misawa

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Jan 22, 2011
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Just went to 4chan /v/, and they are butthurt about the review;which caused me to laugh (Even though /v/ is always butthurt about something).
 

synobal

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CriticKitten said:
Imp Emissary said:
Yeah you CAN read the manual, but why in this day in age should you have to.
And this, dear friend, is precisely the problem with this review and with gamers in general.

Maybe it's just the tinting on my nostalgia glasses, but I tend to find that a good manual explaining how the game works is a hell of a lot better way to play a game than having a slow short-bus section of the game at the start where controls are explained to you one at a time, like you just picked up a controller for the first time. We're big kids now (mostly) and there was nothing wrong with reading a little bit if it meant skipping the slow tutorial mode, so why the heck do games insist on dumbing themselves down for people?
I've had a few games where I had to make a special save just so I wouldn't have to start at the tutorial each time I made a new game. Sometimes the tutorial is just duh that I can't even believe they have it, or it's game breaking like why is my character who is a bad ass suddenly being told how to use basic equipment.
 

hermes

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Mar 2, 2009
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So, he complained before than more games hold your hand and didn't go the Dead Rising 2 route to let you figure out things for yourself, and now he is complaining because Witcher 2 does exactly that?

Color me confused...
 

Azaraxzealot

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mrhateful said:
The Ultimate 2 said:
This is precisely why I'm a console gamer, console games don't take all day and I don't have to reduce the graphics to 1st grader quality to actually play. Good review Yahtzee you faustian king amongst us mere mortal squishies. Just remember to have fun with Brink He he he.
Nope console games comes pre-factored at lowest grade quality.
that's slander if i've ever heard it. but honestly? yes, a game that refuses to help the player in any way is bad, and if the reviewer is not having fun with a game of COURSE it's not going to get a stellar review.
 

Dfskelleton

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Apr 6, 2010
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I never planned on getting it anyways, so I guess there's no problem. Funny review as usual.
Also, I wonder if Yahtzee's actually going to review Duke Nukem Forever, considering how he already did before it existed and whatnot.
 

loc978

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Sep 18, 2010
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Well, it was funny, but every complaint leveled at the game in this review left me scratching my head. Never played the Witcher and I doubt I'll play 2, but that's for the same reason I dislike the Fable series. If I want a bland fantasy world, I've got D&D.
Honestly, if anything this game sounds a little too easy, from this description.

...I'm just glad we don't have dick-sucking factories on this side of the pond.
 

winter2

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Oct 10, 2009
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I am wondering.. how many fanboys that will defend this trite game to death happens to be from... let's say Poland.

* FLAMESHIELD ENGAGE *
 

mrhateful

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Apr 8, 2010
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Azaraxzealot said:
mrhateful said:
The Ultimate 2 said:
This is precisely why I'm a console gamer, console games don't take all day and I don't have to reduce the graphics to 1st grader quality to actually play. Good review Yahtzee you faustian king amongst us mere mortal squishies. Just remember to have fun with Brink He he he.
Nope console games comes pre-factored at lowest grade quality.
that's slander if i've ever heard it. but honestly? yes, a game that refuses to help the player in any way is bad, and if the reviewer is not having fun with a game of COURSE it's not going to get a stellar review.

Did I get miss quoted or something, as far as I can see my comment was on graphics not on how the game should hand hold you?..