Zombies have invaded your hometown

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Desgardes

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Apr 5, 2010
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I would send in the National Guard and the FBI. And, when I'm urged to make peace by some deranged beatnik, they get to be the soon-to-be-feasted-upon ambassador. Also, I'd take the opportunity to get all my immorality out then and there, so even if it comes to light, people have slightly more pressing things to focus on.
 

Plurralbles

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Jan 12, 2010
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I would encourage congress to pass a law making the zombie survival guide required reading and adapt it to be relevant to today's armed forces(ie, better than what that guy could dream up)
 

zyoto12

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Aug 23, 2009
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quarentine followed by strike teams to dispatch the zombies. this would be standard procedure regardless of where it was.


BTW-bombing isn't exactly effective since it is very hard to get a direct hit in the brain with shrapnel, the fire takes awhile, and most of the other parts that make a bomb deadly (pressure, etc.) wouldn't effect zombies. (see The ZOmbie Survival Guide and World War Z both by Max Brooks for more info)
 

aubreym

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Oct 3, 2009
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since i have no idea how to get weapons to fight off the zombies, i will make my own customized ones. I dont know, how bout a light saber out of a broom, can of shaving cream and a butt load of duck tape.

yeah i wont survive....

better stay at home and break all my stuff out of pure chaos.
 

vrbtny

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Sep 16, 2009
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TheMonkeySlayer said:
Hawkeye16 said:
TheMonkeySlayer said:
I'd go grab my crowbar.

(Because everyone on the Escapist loves obvious Half-life references right? <_<)
Those half life references must make it dificult to concentrate on card games.
Don't you make me use my Brooklyn Rage.
Super Special Awesome Akimbo Shotgun Style :)
 

Zorg Machine

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Jul 28, 2008
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Mischiviktus said:
There's plenty of online zombie strategy guides to look up. Also shooting a zombie in the heart kills them too, last I checked the heart pumps the blood, and reanimation takes a corpse and makes everything work again. Big ol' frickin' article about it (I really wish I could find it, fun reading (contains info about mind controlling wasps, plants and fungus, as well as stuff about how it causes insects to kill themselves and etc)), basically said a shot to the heart is as effective as a head shot, as destroying the heart prevents the blood to be pumped, this re-killing it.
The book, Zombie survival guide explains the matter fully. When a zombie has been fully converted, they do not use any organs, other than the brain. They do not process food and their blood becomes stale and dries. This makes the heart quite worthless, as the zombie can live, even when the head has been severed. tip:when beheading zombies, make sure to have thick protection on your ankles. death by severed head probably isn't how most people would want to go out.
 

AWDMANOUT

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Jan 4, 2010
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Why do I have to be president of the US?

How about Sealand?

Or Disney World, maybe?

Edit: ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I GOT THE 68TH POST AGAIN??? THIS CANNOT BE A COINCIDENCE.
 

Treblaine

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Jul 25, 2008
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Mr.Gompers said:
Treblaine said:
Hawkeye16 said:
Imagine this: Your the president of the USA, and you have just found out that your hometown has been overrun by zombies (fast or slow, your choice). What do you do?


EDIT: in before: nuke the site from orbit.
Call DARPA and tell them to get to work double time on a nerve gas that directly destroys the brain. America's military-industrial complex is absolutely PHENOMENAL. It is extraordinary how quickly they can develop, test an deploy new weapons. They should figure out how to make gas weapons within about 10 days. Look at how quickly they have developed other weapons like the bunker buster of the 1st Gulf War or the Thermobaric grenade for the US-Afghan war.

Air drop hundreds of gas masks and chem suits that residents can use to protect themselves from infection (if airborne) and warn them that a gas attack is coming.

Once the town and surrounding area has been thoroughly gassed, move in to extract any survivors with special forces air dropped to precise points to rally up survivors to specific extraction points to be picked up by helicopter.

Once all the civilians are evacuated, then systematically firebomb the entire area, set fire to the forests, dam or divert the rivers upstream, have helicopters fly over with incendiary ammunition to incinerate everything they don't like the look of from the air. Great thing about everything burning is that it removes most places to hide, no buildings, no trees, no bushes. Just caves. Reinforced structures that don't collapse in fire should be destroyed with JDAMs.

Above all, a "scorched earth" policy destroys all food and water supplies, so then I'd lock the entire region up TIGHT. Surround the entire area with the most trigger happy rednecks who'll shoot anything that comes near, but don't go in yet. Even firebombing and gassing will not kill all of them though the smartest/toughest that do survive will not last long with no food or water, nothing but dry river beds and ash. Treat it like a quarantine, let the virus "burn out" then move in after 40 days to clear up the mess.
I like this guys idea. Its smart, and very complete, although you may have to wait more than 40 days for the zeds to die of.
Thanks, I tried to gauge the US government's strengths and weaknesses as they have demonstrated in other conflicts. Particularly how the President is also the Commander in Chief, that's not the case in Britain. I don't think our PM has the power to give specific military orders, only aims and parameters.

Got the "Scorched Earth" idea from the USSR when they were invaded by the Nazis, also the quarantine idea from 28 Days later.

I am almost of the opinion that 40 days may be way too much, as we aren't waiting for the disease to run its course, merely that all those infected perish from lack of food, but mainly lack of water. With the US Army Engineers damming and diverting all rivers, and all sources of water destroyed by precision strikes and firestorms, any zombies scuttling around won't survive long. The ABSOLUTE MAXIMUM length of time a human can survive without water is 7 days, and that is when staying as inactive as possible, in bed, in the cool, surrounded by scientist monitoring your condition and egging you on.

In reality people will die within 48 hours without water, their brains will literally cook as they overheat, and that's how you kill a zombie, destroy their brain.

Science has recorded that life can grow in ice crystals, life grow in boiling hot water of volcanic springs, life can thrive in highly acidic or saline solutions and even they can survive in ultra-high radiation environments but to spite billions of years to evolve to adapt there, there is absolutely no life can live without water. In the ultra-dry deserts of Chile and Antarctica, where it has not rained or snowed for hundreds of millions of years, these are the only places on earth where you will find absolutely no life, the sandy surface is as sterile as a surgeon's scalpel.

Knowing that, I realise that dehydration is the only sure way to destroy this alien threat of the zombie virus.
 

joshuaayt

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Nov 15, 2009
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Ha HA! It's a little different now, isn't it? Being in this position, it's so easy to see the logic in, oh, say...
Sectioning country and destroying any zombie infected STATES. I am NOT risking a pandemic Zombie outbreak.
 

Plurralbles

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Jan 12, 2010
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Mischiviktus said:
There's plenty of online zombie strategy guides to look up. Also shooting a zombie in the heart kills them too, last I checked the heart pumps the blood, and reanimation takes a corpse and makes everything work again. Big ol' frickin' article about it (I really wish I could find it, fun reading (contains info about mind controlling wasps, plants and fungus, as well as stuff about how it causes insects to kill themselves and etc)), basically said a shot to the heart is as effective as a head shot, as destroying the heart prevents the blood to be pumped, this re-killing it.
that's what made me laugh the hardest at teh "zombie survival Guide". It's not just the brain, and pretending it is is just pandering to an audience to get sales.

Edit: I just saw a guy argue with this and try to claim the brain is all that was needed. I'm sorry but... NO FUCKING WAY.
 

Treblaine

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Jul 25, 2008
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Mischiviktus said:
There's plenty of online zombie strategy guides to look up. Also shooting a zombie in the heart kills them too, last I checked the heart pumps the blood, and reanimation takes a corpse and makes everything work again. Big ol' frickin' article about it (I really wish I could find it, fun reading (contains info about mind controlling wasps, plants and fungus, as well as stuff about how it causes insects to kill themselves and etc)), basically said a shot to the heart is as effective as a head shot, as destroying the heart prevents the blood to be pumped, this re-killing it.
It is interesting how Zombies can be analogy for highly simplified humans in a highly aggressive or "Berserker" state, like a fight-or-flight response or drug induced rage for war-fighting.

During a strong stress response, blood flow to your non-vital organs like kidneys, Liver, intestines and so on is reduced so much you could get an incredibly grievous wound to one of those organs but would bleed relatively slowly as the artery feeding it is constricted. This is also the source of "butterflies in your stomach" if your are nervous,

Priority blood flow is to the muscles, so much that you can still move around and attack after massive blood loss. Higher brain functions get low priority in bloodflow, just the lower "basic" brain functions like instinctive actions.

As to lung shots, I read an interesting account from a Doctor from the Crimean War, back then medical practice was extremely limited, all he did was take notes and made very little active intervention - and then it was just to note when a limb was gangrenous and then hack it off.

Anyway, he noted the surprisingly high survival rate amongst soldiers shot through the lungs, even both lungs by .30 cal bullets. They would have extreme difficulty breathing but often the wounds would eventually seal, the lungs re-inflate and heal all on their own. This was also noted by big game hunters who found that animals they had successfully killed they found the animals seemed to have been shot through both lungs by .50 calibre bullets yet just "walked it off". Seems lung shots are only deadly if a major artery of the lung is punctured and the lungs fill with blood.

If zombies had been mutated by their infection to have highly prioritised bloodflow at a low pressure with extremely effective clotting factor, immune to all pain, fear or discomfort. I can see how you could empty a pistol clip into one of these ghoul's torso without them even breaking step.

But one small caveat on shots to the heart, even battlefield surgeons and big game hunters have found - respectively - that soldiers and bison can be shot through the heart and still stand and fight.

The key is how a bullet causes damage, a relatively low velocity round-nose bullet (1000-1500feet/sec) or high velocity pointed bullet (~3000feet/sec) shooting straight through flesh, including the heart will cause little disruption outside the bullet path and tends not to actually crush the flesh in front of it, more just stretch and tear a small path.

Through tough muscle (like the heart) the resulting wound is not a round hole but a cleft, shorter than the bullet is wide. The interesting thing is how much this is self sealing, and as the muscle tenses it seals even more tightly. So as blood flows into the chamber that the bullet shot through as the muscle tenses to squeeze the blood out it seals the hole.

There have been many recorded incidents of people being shot through the heart and lived without immediate surgical intervention. Providing the shock of a bullet through the heart doesn't cause fibulation or arrhythmia, but a punch to the chest could almost as equally cause that.

This is why almost all medium-large game hunters are now legally mandated to use hollow-point expanding ammunition, as when that hits the heart, and it mushrooms to create such a wide frontal area it will leave a massive jagged hole through the heart and may even completely burst it. At the very least they use a flat-nosed "wad-cutter" bullet, who's blunt surface will cut a hole at least the diameter of the barrel.

So that's how one of these theoretical zombies could survive being shot in the chest, including the heart. The solution: expanding or at least flat-nosed bullets.

Also, if a long, thin, & pointed rifle bullet "yaws" (flips on its side) as it passes through the body that will have the same effect as a mushrooming bullet, it may also fragment = incredible damage.

cabooze said:
The book, Zombie survival guide explains the matter fully. When a zombie has been fully converted, they do not use any organs, other than the brain. They do not process food and their blood becomes stale and dries. This makes the heart quite worthless, as the zombie can live, even when the head has been severed. tip:when beheading zombies, make sure to have thick protection on your ankles. death by severed head probably isn't how most people would want to go out.
Max Brooks's book right?

My problem with that approach is if the zombies really do just dry up then we have firmly moved out of the area of sci-fi into pure magical fantasy.

I have mentioned before, life can thrive literally ANYWHERE that there is water... but without water there is absolutely no life. It is almost a universal rule: water = life, no-water = no-life.

And that includes the undead, consciously they may no longer be living but they must still be metabolising and have a some hierarchy of bodily functions. If they are simply corpses that have been "animated" by some voodoo spell, well then they could do the same with any inanimate object, with a puppet, a cutlery collection, go poltergeist on your ass.

If that is the case the solution is not to bother attacking the reanimated undead but target the source of their control. If it is magic, there must be some logic behind it, there must be some way to stop that "power" over them.
 

not_the_dm

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Aug 5, 2009
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An Englishman's home is his castle, and boiling oil works on zombies too. Let's see these zombies try their hand at besieging me. When in doubt call the MoD and get them to send the Royal Armoured Corps.
 

AWDMANOUT

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Jan 4, 2010
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ToxicPiranah said:
Why are people obssesed with an old lump of metal inhabitted by a crazy man and his family? Hey, maybe I did not consider that some people may want lumps of metal of their own. I like tacos.
Well, maybe... Oh, looks like you already said that.
 

AMMO Kid

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Jan 2, 2009
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If Slow - I would make a TV show about how we can be friends with zombies
If Fast - Nuke the town closest to my hometown to threaten the zombies, and if that didn't work I would nuke the town on the other side to threaten them again, and if THAT didn't work then I would sit in the corner and cry about it