Recent content by furnatic

In the immortal words of Mitch Hedberg, call your band, Injured. Or Slightly Bruised. But for something bad-ass, I'd say Souleater, or Firesoul.

To my wife one day when we were watching TV and I had Mexican earlier that day with a flu. Pfffft! My Wife: Mike, what the hell was that? Me: Uhhh oh...I think I just shit my pants..." My Wife: Sounded wet. Mexican is getting to you hun? Me: I hope it sounded wet. Because I don't...

I'd like to know who put Isreal in 1812? We fought the Brits in 1812.

Boobs...lemme say that again...boobs.

Let's compare and contrast ---------------------------- Although I am a misanthrope, I have some cool friends. Considering I don't have a degree yet, I have a pretty descent salary job in this economy. I'm a Florida State Certified Fire Fighter. (No, I don't work at a station. I just...

I'm an adult. I'm working like the rest of us miserable adults.

Simple. Find Tom Cruise, shoot a portal above him and below him. Have fun tumbling through reality *****.

Don't judge me please, but from personal experience, don't cheat, don't even think of it. I'm trying to rebuild my marriage because of my mistake. Trust me, she has ways of finding out, and if she even gets a feeling that your cheating, she will pull the thread and unravel the sweater of...

That is a set of words I thought I would never see put into one sentence...

America's youth is getting too fat. Kids should be playing outside, not sitting in their room playing video games all day. However, I believe the rating system needs to be better enforced. It's M rated for a damned reason. And parents wonder why kids are having sex and shooting each other...

The way I see is, pedophilia is pedophilia no matter how you slice it. Thus, throw em away for life and let the other inmates work their magic.

Oh, and By the Way

1. Love it! 2. Denis Leary 3. Mitch Hedberg (May peace be with him) 4. Jeff Foxworthy (Okay, I get it! YOUR A DAMNED REDNECK!) 5. Jeff Foxworthy (Once more, shut your mouth) 6. Yes I have. I think it turned out pretty well actually ^^

I touch myself. Or work on my college. Sometimes both.

Ever seen Punisher? Yeah, my degrees of revenge vary on the situation. If you prank me, I prank you back. You hurt my family, I murder your's and burn down the house. And if I have time, piss on the ashes. Even have a Punisher Revenge Kit/Zombie Suvival Kit put together, complete with...