Apparently I was a distraction and holding her back from her hopes and dreams and all that bollocks she wanted to do in life.Simriel said:
25 Things a Perfect Guy Would Do
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Really? My.. this is awkward...Simriel said:
Like, being serious, I can imagine there are some girls who'd like this stuff, but uh, cannot say I've ever met any. Cannot say I'd particularly want to meet any.
And I, personally, would definitely not want to be in the kind of relationship that list describes. It screams of either one person being used by the other, or the biggest stereotypical, shallow, this-is-what-couples-are-meant-to-do artificial excuse for two people to be 'going out'.
If a guy was like that with me, I'd call him a pussy and break up with him. Especially at this age
4 7 8 11 23 24 and 25 are broken, and the rest I'm being exceedingly generous, though a few of them don't apply to me. I can pretty much sing, I do it whenever I'm flirting with my friend, I don't smoke, so saying I would quit doesn't work because I don't know how addictions like that work.
Staring? Hm. That's...different. I don't know who said it, but I agree that the woman who wrote this is a tad egocentric if she was serious, but some of this stuff is relationship 101 blended with a bit of egocentricity. I think it's parody time, don't you?
Staring? Hm. That's...different. I don't know who said it, but I agree that the woman who wrote this is a tad egocentric if she was serious, but some of this stuff is relationship 101 blended with a bit of egocentricity. I think it's parody time, don't you?
Savage. He'd probably write about it in his journal.JanatUrlich said:
Wow...idealism at work...
I find it interesting how worked up some people seem to be getting over this though...it's just a list after all. A list of things women, may or may not want a guy to do some or all of in a relationship. It is not, however, a list of legal requirements. Basically, it boils down to one concept:
Women want their boyfriends to love them, and be interested in them, and to not mind showing it
This is exactly the same as what guys want in a relationship, (for all the try-hards out there might go on about how the only thing a man cares about is sex. Women care a lot about sex in a relationship too, we just don't go on and on about it) the lists just differ in the particulars, and that's what makes relationships bot challenging and rewarding.
My take on a few of the more inflammatory ones:
* offer you plenty of massages - there's really only one ultimate outcome of giving your gf a massage...I don't even think this list expects it to be a chaste one, so I'm not sure why some people are seeing this as a bad thing.
* come up behind you and put his arms around you - geez, people, it's a freaking hug - I don't get the problem here?
* stare at you - I think this refers to liking to look at you in an appreciative way, not a stalkerish way. Because I can't think why a girl like the one who would want all of the things on this list (or indeed any girl) would want anyone to stare creepily at her.
* React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts - I think that, rather than actual 'hitting', what this refers to is one of those scenarios where he says something crass, and she pretends coyly to be offended and 'swats' him lightly, but it actually stings a bit, as swats are want to do. I'm not excusing any kind of domestic violence perpetrated by either gender toward the other, but really, I think people are reading too much into this. There's a stereotype that girls can't hit properly (we're supposed to bitchslap ineffectually, right?), like girls can't throw or whatever. Swatting someone on the arm lightly in jest may be done by either gender to the other without constituting domestic violence, people. Light swat does not equal leaving bruises and splitting lips.
I find it interesting how worked up some people seem to be getting over this though...it's just a list after all. A list of things women, may or may not want a guy to do some or all of in a relationship. It is not, however, a list of legal requirements. Basically, it boils down to one concept:
Women want their boyfriends to love them, and be interested in them, and to not mind showing it
This is exactly the same as what guys want in a relationship, (for all the try-hards out there might go on about how the only thing a man cares about is sex. Women care a lot about sex in a relationship too, we just don't go on and on about it) the lists just differ in the particulars, and that's what makes relationships bot challenging and rewarding.
My take on a few of the more inflammatory ones:
* offer you plenty of massages - there's really only one ultimate outcome of giving your gf a massage...I don't even think this list expects it to be a chaste one, so I'm not sure why some people are seeing this as a bad thing.
* come up behind you and put his arms around you - geez, people, it's a freaking hug - I don't get the problem here?
* stare at you - I think this refers to liking to look at you in an appreciative way, not a stalkerish way. Because I can't think why a girl like the one who would want all of the things on this list (or indeed any girl) would want anyone to stare creepily at her.
* React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts - I think that, rather than actual 'hitting', what this refers to is one of those scenarios where he says something crass, and she pretends coyly to be offended and 'swats' him lightly, but it actually stings a bit, as swats are want to do. I'm not excusing any kind of domestic violence perpetrated by either gender toward the other, but really, I think people are reading too much into this. There's a stereotype that girls can't hit properly (we're supposed to bitchslap ineffectually, right?), like girls can't throw or whatever. Swatting someone on the arm lightly in jest may be done by either gender to the other without constituting domestic violence, people. Light swat does not equal leaving bruises and splitting lips.
... There are people who actually look for this kind of thing? What the hell? I'm a girl - I hate dancing, I hate holding hands, smiling for no reason just makes you look like a moron and ... and if you drive five hours just to see me for one, it'd probably be to get dumped because that's just stalkerish and creepy.
I like romance - when it's other peoples'. My perfect idea of a date is something gaming-related, not a scene out of bloody Casanova. Something real and something fun, not something that feels awkward and stupid.
I like romance - when it's other peoples'. My perfect idea of a date is something gaming-related, not a scene out of bloody Casanova. Something real and something fun, not something that feels awkward and stupid.
Actually there is a female version somewhere around and it's about the same level of bitchiness and quipping about things we do.
I'm actually trying to put together a book to cover things that both sexes don't understand about each other, obviously not all, but some of the general stuff.
I'm actually trying to put together a book to cover things that both sexes don't understand about each other, obviously not all, but some of the general stuff.
Are you sure? Because I do the vast majority of those things to/for my wife.Glefistus said:
At least 20 of them.
And one of the ones I don't do is the 'remote during the game' one, because I don't watch sports.
Doesn't seem too naive to me.
EDIT: I counted. I do 22 of them.
I remember Maddox commenting on this list, he basically said you have to be a complete ***** if you want a control freak witch as your mistress (paraphrasing).
Douk said:1. Know how to make you smile when you are down. I'd try, as much as possible.
2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always
notice. Yep, that sounds like me.
3. Stick up for you, but still respects your
independence. Yes, a woman's independance is always important.
4. Give you the remote control during the game. I'm not sporty and I do actually enjoy watching some 'chick flicks'. So yes.
5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you. Yes. Definitely.
6. Play with your hair. In an affectionate manner, then yes.
7. His hands always find yours. Yes, always.
8. Be cute when he really wants something. I'm always cute...
9. Offer you plenty of massages. Hmmm, not so good at massages, but anything similarly affectionate, then yes.
10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork. I always dance like a dork, so that holds no fear for me.
11. Never run out of love. When I love, I really mean it, so yes.
12. Be funny, but know how to be serious. Yes, definitely. Although with me my funnyness lies in my lack thereof.
13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be
serious. Yes, probably, that sounds a lot like me.
14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready. Of course. I have a lot of patience.
15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually
hurts. There, I'd probably play the tough guy and pretend it didn't hurt. If that's being cute, then yes to this one too.
16. Smile a lot. Yep, I'm naturally happy
17. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he
wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it
means a lot to you. I'd mainly focus on romance, like surprises and such that would mean a lot to the girl. But yeah, this one's a yes.
18. Appreciate you. Of course.
19. Help others out. I generally do, when possible.
20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1. If I had a driving license then yes, that wouldn't be a problem.
21. Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you
depart from each others company, even when his friends
are watching. If you're afraid to show affection in front of your friends then there isn't real love there. So yes.
22. Sing, even if he can't. I sing anyway even though I can't
23. Have a creative sense of humor. Wellll, when you say creative...
24. Stare at you. With love, yes. Otherwise it's a bit rude to stare.
25. Call for no reason. There'd always be a reason, even if it's just to say three words...
26. Quit smoking, chewing, drinking, or drugs - just
because he loves u that much to quit it. I would, except the only one of those I do is drink. And not often, either.
My answers are all in bold, above. Wow, seems like I'm the perfect guy
So why is it that girls don't seem to notice that...?EDIT:
And there's my answer. Applied to pretty much all girls between 17-20, I guess.JanatUrlich said:
2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always
notice.
Creepy stalker behaviour at its finest.
4. Give you the remote control during the game.
Compromises I don't mind. But I sense this is more an attempt to control.
9. Offer you plenty of massages.
Only if I get some return.
13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be
serious.
I disagree, this can often diffuse tense situations
15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually
hurts.
Only if you react cutely when I give you a black-eye you moody *****.
25. Call for no reason.
Sounds... like a waste of money. Annoying too.
The rest I'm pretty cool with.
notice.
Creepy stalker behaviour at its finest.
4. Give you the remote control during the game.
Compromises I don't mind. But I sense this is more an attempt to control.
9. Offer you plenty of massages.
Only if I get some return.
13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be
serious.
I disagree, this can often diffuse tense situations
15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually
hurts.
Only if you react cutely when I give you a black-eye you moody *****.
25. Call for no reason.
Sounds... like a waste of money. Annoying too.
The rest I'm pretty cool with.
I think I lost about 20 IQ points after reading that, but for the sake of procrastination...
1. Know how to make you smile when you are down.
How the hell would I accomplish this, am I a mind reader?
2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always
notice.
Why would I want to smell hair, unless the original author is some sort of hair fetishist I see no logic in this.
3. Stick up for you, but still respects your
independence.
Translation: Bail her arse out of trouble and never expect repayment.
4. Give you the remote control during the game.
okay, for a start I never watch "the game" and second, NO ONE TOUCHES THE REMOTE BUT ME.
5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you.
Again, why?
6. Play with your hair.
Again with the hair? What the hell is going on?
7. His hands always find yours.
Always? What if she's cooking my dinner? that would hinder progress somewhat.
8. Be cute when he really wants something.
Why can't I just get it myself? Why the hell would I demean myself for her amusement when I want something?
9. Offer you plenty of massages.
Unless we are both naked, no.
10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.
So just do everything she wants, who gives a damn about me right?
11. Never run out of love.
What the fuck?
12. Be funny, but know how to be serious.
this is slightly reasonable
13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be
serious.
What?
14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready.
Fuck off.
15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually
hurts.
mmmm-hmmm, and if I hit her she'll act cute instead of calling the cops.
16. Smile a lot.
Why?
17. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he
wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it
means a lot to you.
No.
18. Appreciate you.
This needs mentioning?
19. Help others out.
Only if I don't have to do much.
20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.
It's called a webcam, *****.
21. Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you
depart from each others company, even when his friends
are watching.
No.
22. Sing, even if he can't.
No.
23. Have a creative sense of humor.
Fuck you.
24. Stare at you.
Why? If I ever reach a point in my life where I have nothing better to do than staring at someone, I'll jump in front of traffic.
25. Call for no reason.
See above
26. Quit smoking, chewing, drinking, or drugs - just
because he loves u that much to quit it.
I don't do these things anyway.
How the hell would I accomplish this, am I a mind reader?
2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always
notice.
Why would I want to smell hair, unless the original author is some sort of hair fetishist I see no logic in this.
3. Stick up for you, but still respects your
independence.
Translation: Bail her arse out of trouble and never expect repayment.
4. Give you the remote control during the game.
okay, for a start I never watch "the game" and second, NO ONE TOUCHES THE REMOTE BUT ME.
5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you.
Again, why?
6. Play with your hair.
Again with the hair? What the hell is going on?
7. His hands always find yours.
Always? What if she's cooking my dinner? that would hinder progress somewhat.
8. Be cute when he really wants something.
Why can't I just get it myself? Why the hell would I demean myself for her amusement when I want something?
9. Offer you plenty of massages.
Unless we are both naked, no.
10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.
So just do everything she wants, who gives a damn about me right?
11. Never run out of love.
What the fuck?
12. Be funny, but know how to be serious.
this is slightly reasonable
13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be
serious.
What?
14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready.
Fuck off.
15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually
hurts.
mmmm-hmmm, and if I hit her she'll act cute instead of calling the cops.
16. Smile a lot.
Why?
17. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he
wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it
means a lot to you.
No.
18. Appreciate you.
This needs mentioning?
19. Help others out.
Only if I don't have to do much.
20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.
It's called a webcam, *****.
21. Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you
depart from each others company, even when his friends
are watching.
No.
22. Sing, even if he can't.
No.
23. Have a creative sense of humor.
Fuck you.
24. Stare at you.
Why? If I ever reach a point in my life where I have nothing better to do than staring at someone, I'll jump in front of traffic.
25. Call for no reason.
See above
26. Quit smoking, chewing, drinking, or drugs - just
because he loves u that much to quit it.
I don't do these things anyway.