25 Things a Perfect Guy Would Do
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Not entirely unreasonable. It's sort of expected that if you were dating someone you're interested in making them happy. A good start.
Wait, strike that previous statement. This has just become the top 25 creepy lady-fantasies list.
Look, we men know you ladies sometimes put lots of effort into your hair/making it look pretty and smell good, but 99% of the time we aren't going to be stuffing our nostrils in it. I have allergies to perfumes, as do a good number of people. Not to mention that my nose fell off/died after years of hanging out with other dudes, some of whom emitted truly noxious gases from their posteriors. I can't even smell a rose: your hair is not getting treated better than man's most abused scent.
How are these two things related? Oh, I see: this is about avoiding the old "over-protective" stereotype. Well, I suppose I have no terrific objections there, unless you happen to be giving your love interest reason to suspect that you've been cooking another man's salami behind his back.
If so, you're just a hypocrite.
Ignoring the obvious jab at the whole "men love sports" stereotype, I'm just going to assume this means letting the lady have the TV on occasion. No real objections there, save for the stereotype used to make the point.
Awww... someone's been watching romance movies again. No real objections to this part of the list, other than how women probably have varying opinions on how creepy having a man actually do this to them is. I certainly wouldn't do it by surprise.
Another movie thing, and it's also related to hair. Well, no real objections here I guess.
Isn't this sort of contradictory when compared to the whole independent bit? This list is starting to strike me as being overly romantic.
Wait, what? Men do not typically enjoy being CUTE. This strikes me as almost being lolita-ish.
Some ladies don't like massages, and some men don't know how to do them.
If we don't want to dance with you, odds are it isn't the dork factor. Odds are it's more like we're afraid that we might kill someone by having a shoe fly off in the middle of the proceedings.
What, men aren't allowed to have off days anymore?
Well, this isn't too bad.
Not a terrible expectation either.
Wait, what? If you're taking forever to get ready, get started earlier so your partner doesn't have to sit on his rear waiting for you.
(0_0)
For those of you who know my posting habits, I rarely use emotes. Let me explain: this bit is CREEPY AS I'LL GET OUT. It's like the person who wrote this was attempting to coyly (or not so coyly) promote the S&M fetish.
All I've got to say is, if someone hits me, odds are I'm not going to be cute about it: I'm going to beat the living shit out of them (unless I deserved it, of course, but even then I'm not going to be CUTE.)
Ok, I suppose.
This assumes that the ladies out there like men being cheesy around them.
I see no issue with women wanting their love interests to appreciate them.
Fine by me.
This is acceptable to me as long as you aren't demanding it all the time. That's called being unreasonable.
What is this, high school again?
If we're having a karaoke night, and you're not FORCING him to do it, I see no issue with WANTING him to sing: just don't expect an opera from someone you know doesn't like singing.
This is a repeat of a previous point. Yawn.
Er... okay? So women like people acting like stalkers around them?
If I call anyone, I'm not doing it for no reason. It's a waste of time otherwise.
If you want someone to call you so you can chat romantically, THAT I don't mind. Just don't say you want someone to call you for no reason.
I see nothing TERRIBLY wrong with this (especially the last one, which is illegal) unless you start over-reacting about it (again, with the exception of the last one.)
What's with all the kitchen/sandwich jokes, guys? Haven't we grown out of those yet?
I both have the embarrassment(to some) of being almost everything on that list, and the annoyance of listening to people squawking about it as if it's an affront to men everywhere. True, chain letters like this are annoying and perfectionist. Just because someone has high expectations, should we throw them in their faces? Society would actually work if people tried to be the best at what they're dedicated to.
At any rate, 13 15 and 27 are out. 13 I just suck at, 15 I pretend to be mad then pull a prank on her later that even she laughs at, and 27. I've never taken drugs but that's beside the point. I WOULD quit for her if I HAD anything to quit.
At any rate, 13 15 and 27 are out. 13 I just suck at, 15 I pretend to be mad then pull a prank on her later that even she laughs at, and 27. I've never taken drugs but that's beside the point. I WOULD quit for her if I HAD anything to quit.
This is a list for a future spouse beater / passive aggressive, emotionally blackmailing control freak.
P.S. Women don't need the remote as much as men do, don't even go there.
P.S. Women don't need the remote as much as men do, don't even go there.
*wipes face* sorry, i just threw up, all the cutesy was messing with my stomach contents in a bad way
1. Know how to make you smile when you are down- whenever i ask her if something's wrong, she says no. nothing's wrong, so she's not down. problem solved.
2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice- umm... no, not even going to bother
3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence- if she's independant, why does she need me? (sounds harsh, but i'm just calling it how i see it)
4. Give you the remote control during the game- why am i watching sport? those guys picked on me in high school, so fuck 'em
5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you- umm... surprise buttsecks?
6. Play with your hair- ok, i'll do that while i'm smelling it
7. His hands always find yours- if i don't know where her hands are, i'm either scared or aroused
8. Be cute when he really wants something- i'm always cute
9. Offer you plenty of massages- is she stressed? she can't be, nothing's wrong (see #1).
10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork- never saw any good reason to dance, the dork thing doesn't even get to play a role in the argument
11. Never run out of love- is it like vodka? because if i want more vodka, i buy some, and you can't buy love, so...
12. Be funny, but know how to be serious- if i'm serious, she'll know
13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious- if i'm funny, i'll cheer her up (but nothing's wrong anyway, so nevermind)
14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready- main reason i bought a DS
15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts- so try and act cute when i'm in PAIN? sure, easy done, you abusive *****
16. Smile a lot-
17. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it means a lot to you-
18. Appreciate you- if she can tell me how, i'll give it a go, but for now i'm just going to send her a card
19. Help others out- what about those girls who like bad boys? there, fucked your list up, didn't i? was this thing written by stephanie meyer, or what?
20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1- i don't do long-distance relationships
21. Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you depart from each others company, even when his friends are watching-
22. Sing, even if he can't- no. fuck off, i'm not doing it. you fucking sing.
23. Have a creative sense of humor- done
24. Stare at you- that's just plain fucking creepy when someone does that
25. Call for no reason- then what do we talk about?
26. Quit smoking, chewing, drinking, or drugs, just because he loves u that much to quit it- i don't smoke or do drugs, and i don't drink that much anyway. if she doesn't like alcohol, she doesn't have to drink it
there, that's my take on this piece of shit. and for the record, fuck twilight.
1. Know how to make you smile when you are down- whenever i ask her if something's wrong, she says no. nothing's wrong, so she's not down. problem solved.
2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice- umm... no, not even going to bother
3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence- if she's independant, why does she need me? (sounds harsh, but i'm just calling it how i see it)
4. Give you the remote control during the game- why am i watching sport? those guys picked on me in high school, so fuck 'em
5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you- umm... surprise buttsecks?
6. Play with your hair- ok, i'll do that while i'm smelling it
7. His hands always find yours- if i don't know where her hands are, i'm either scared or aroused
8. Be cute when he really wants something- i'm always cute
9. Offer you plenty of massages- is she stressed? she can't be, nothing's wrong (see #1).
10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork- never saw any good reason to dance, the dork thing doesn't even get to play a role in the argument
11. Never run out of love- is it like vodka? because if i want more vodka, i buy some, and you can't buy love, so...
12. Be funny, but know how to be serious- if i'm serious, she'll know
13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious- if i'm funny, i'll cheer her up (but nothing's wrong anyway, so nevermind)
14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready- main reason i bought a DS
15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts- so try and act cute when i'm in PAIN? sure, easy done, you abusive *****
16. Smile a lot-
17. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it means a lot to you-
18. Appreciate you- if she can tell me how, i'll give it a go, but for now i'm just going to send her a card
19. Help others out- what about those girls who like bad boys? there, fucked your list up, didn't i? was this thing written by stephanie meyer, or what?
20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1- i don't do long-distance relationships
21. Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you depart from each others company, even when his friends are watching-
22. Sing, even if he can't- no. fuck off, i'm not doing it. you fucking sing.
23. Have a creative sense of humor- done
24. Stare at you- that's just plain fucking creepy when someone does that
25. Call for no reason- then what do we talk about?
26. Quit smoking, chewing, drinking, or drugs, just because he loves u that much to quit it- i don't smoke or do drugs, and i don't drink that much anyway. if she doesn't like alcohol, she doesn't have to drink it
there, that's my take on this piece of shit. and for the record, fuck twilight.
My own father can't get the remote out of my hand on game day, what makes you think something that has at no point in her life kicked my ass is going to get it?
And the staring thing is creepy, my ex would stare at me while I was sleeping and it would always wake me up paranoid, and that's a mood that sticks with you all day boys and girls.
Seriously, it's really REALLY creepy.
And the staring thing is creepy, my ex would stare at me while I was sleeping and it would always wake me up paranoid, and that's a mood that sticks with you all day boys and girls.
Seriously, it's really REALLY creepy.
This perfect guy sounds like a freak. Honestly, reading the list I was kind of imagining this person, and he sounds pretty creepy. If a guy was always hanging around me, playing with my hair, holding my hand, offering me massages and commenting about not running out of love, I would turn and flee.
Call me old fashioned, but I like my man to be a bit independant, not to mention having free will. The last one about quitting smoking or drugs or whatevs, that's kinda weird. I mean, it's always a good thing to quit those things, but to do it cause you just love someone else so much and they disapprove is creepy. I would quit smoking if my husband asked me to with good reason. I wouldn't be so overcome with love that I just couldn't bear to continue my habit that he didn't approve of. Creepy.
I also like the list of 25 things perfect woman would do, and I have to say I wish I got off that easy. I can list at least four ammendments to it that my huband would make.
12. Don't be funny, just know how to be serious.
13. Realize she wasting too much money on Vogue magazines that could instead be spent on Yu-Gi-Oh.
22. Sing, if she wants to, and I'm not within earshot. In fact, probably best to wait till I'm out of the house.
19. Don't help others out. That time and money could be spent on Yu-Gi-Oh.
Sigh, how tragic it is that we can't all be perfect.
Call me old fashioned, but I like my man to be a bit independant, not to mention having free will. The last one about quitting smoking or drugs or whatevs, that's kinda weird. I mean, it's always a good thing to quit those things, but to do it cause you just love someone else so much and they disapprove is creepy. I would quit smoking if my husband asked me to with good reason. I wouldn't be so overcome with love that I just couldn't bear to continue my habit that he didn't approve of. Creepy.
I also like the list of 25 things perfect woman would do, and I have to say I wish I got off that easy. I can list at least four ammendments to it that my huband would make.
12. Don't be funny, just know how to be serious.
13. Realize she wasting too much money on Vogue magazines that could instead be spent on Yu-Gi-Oh.
22. Sing, if she wants to, and I'm not within earshot. In fact, probably best to wait till I'm out of the house.
19. Don't help others out. That time and money could be spent on Yu-Gi-Oh.
Sigh, how tragic it is that we can't all be perfect.
Well, goodluck with your high standards. For now I'm gunna stick with the internets advice of naked girls with food, since in my experience it's a lot easier to find someone so desperate for attention she'll do whatever I say than it is to find someone actually worth speaking too.Glefistus said: