27 Things Men Don't Know About Women, and other shit girls like to pretend.

[josetaco]

awesome thread
but not all women are like this (of course)
but there are women I have met that are, no bullshit.
And it seems like its getting worse.
just by posting this thread i've read some women attacking
this guy's sexuality, this is something ive seen alot of lately
if a man stands up for himself against a woman or just wants to
hang out with his guy friends I've had women make insinuations
that we are gay. NOthing against gay people but when some one
calls me gay as a hetro male IT PISSES ME OFF if a guy had made
the same comments to me I would have kicked his teeth in,but since
its a woman I"m supposed to shrug it off.

 

[SextusMaximus]

I found that quite funny. Well... what do you want me to say? this thread was made to provoke a flame war. I'm not going to go into it.

 

[ActionDan]

Why is it that women are like this, I mean FUCK. You hit some points right on the damn nail there.

 

[Hazy]

I will sooner take a one way trip to hell than see a Chick flick

Trust me, you really would want to.

My (currently) ex made me sit through "500 Days of Summer."

Torture on a disc, it was.

 

[Frankydee]

Sensible answers for insensible people :]

good show.

 

[Samurai Goomba]

This felt like sort of a spin-off Maddox article.

Please take that as the highest praise, which is how it was meant.

Although I don't think only women try to pretend they're more complex than they are. EVERYBODY acts like they are deep. News flash: You're not special, I'm not special, nobody's special. The people you think are special probably don't think they are special. The people THEY think are special probably aren't/weren't special, either. Even the people society points to and says, "see these folks, they're special" aren't special, they just suck a tiny bit less than the rest of us. Maybe.

Look at history hard enough and you realize everybody has genius and idiot moments. Everyone becomes the villain at some point, EVEN the ones that die as heroes. Especially those ones.

If we could all just take a step back and admit to ourselves that we're simple people with obvious motivations the world would be free from so much pretentious crap.

 

[Toasty]

This was actually a pretty interesting read and I find a whole crapload of things of that kind going on in relationships. As a girl, I actually find this incredibly amusing and I find this a kind of 'what not to do' list. Also, I must say that I really do hate weddings, they're way too sappy for me.

ah thankyou, you read my mind. oh and to those saying things lik 'Yup all women are CRAZY' so what if we are, sanity is overrated....but that doesnt make hte majority of women anything near to what the quotes and the thread portray. and a lot of guys act in ways to get their ego's fed. yes ofcourse all humans want attention and recogntion. this is just the media over-hyping it and turning it into something ridiculous

 

[TOGSolid]

Sorry bout the late replies, even us crazy Alaskans have got to sleep sometime too.

I found that quite funny. Well... what do you want me to say? this thread was made to provoke a flame war. I'm not going to go into it.

*looks at the rest of the thread*
Looks pretty civil to me.

*puffs on pipe*..........................................verily.......................
.............................................................if a little profane

Occupation: Sailor
Raised on: Military Bases

That's all I gotta say about that.

I agree, OP and article seemed to be basing too much on their experience. Not quite common enough practices to assume that everyone will have come across. Still, the commentary amused me.

Interestingly, my experience with women has been pretty minimal. I've had a grand total of four girlfriends, and have been completely single for the past two or three years now. What I do have a lot of experience with is in observation. Back in high school I got to sit there and watch my friends go through the dating games and get absolutely wrecked. Even when I told them that they were gonna get wrecked, they still went along with it anyway. It didn't exactly stop when I got out of high school either. Nowadays I'm watching people I know get married, get divorced, get cheated on, get dumped, and it's like despite getting older, no one has really matured in respect to their views on relationships. They're still all playing their silly little high school games and it's pretty damned maddening. Hell, I just found out a gal I knew from high school who is one of the sweetest, nicest people on this planet just got divorced back in August. Even here on the internets on boards like this one, or the one I used to go to (RIP The Specialists), if you start the appropriate topic, you'll get flooded with men and women all telling roughly the same stories over and over. It's almost kinda sad really.

On topic, are you crazy? The Last Starfighter is a god awful film or was it a stab at irony?

Even more on topic, without being classed as homophobic (since I have a gay friend), are you gay? Well you seem very jaded and angry at women, if you live in england you will know what they say about sailors. Just asking 'cos it's either that or you have just ended a relationship in a rather messy way.

Hating on The Last Starfighter!? Pistols at dawn you ruffian! Anyway, no, I am not gay, nor am I bi. I've only had one kinda messy breakup and that was with the first gal I ever dated when I first started sailing, so no, I'm actually not jaded against women. I'm just jaded against people and society in general. Believe me, if you dig up a similiar article that's supposedly all about men, I'll tear it a new asshole too. The catch is, is that they don't pop up as frequently.

 

[funguy2121]

snip

I've made a little list of my own.
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.165478

 

[funguy2121]

#13: "... many of us are quite happy being independent and autonomous. Besides, we're not in any rush to quit lusting after young Calvin Klein models."

I adore this one because, fact is, if these girls can't do anything but think about themselves then they'll be lusting for young Calvin Klein models for the rest of their pathetic, decadent lives till the day they die; old, ugly and single. And what I have to say to them is "get on with it! The singles section of the restaurant is in the dark corner over there. Stay quiet and don't disturb the rest of us."

And if they really don't care about living single then why are they publishing magazines dedicating to finding, understanding and pleasuring male partners, or taking pot shots at men who they supposedly don't want to be with anyway?

To be fair, I've found similarly shitty and manipulative articles written for men, by men.

Really? I've never read an article like these written by men. Even the ones for men are always written by women.

Maxim magazine. Not written by men. None of those "30 ways, guaranteed, to get her clothes off, by actual professionals and co-eds," are written by men.

 

[Megacherv]

Can...am I seeing this all correctly, or is it because my glasses need cleaning. The majority of this thread seem to be angry at this article...yet I thought it was pretty funny...am I seeing this right?

 

[Generator]

I actually really enjoyed the read. I know far too many girls who are like this, but then it seems like most everyone (female or otherwise) these days is falling into playing these ridiculous games. I, however, won't be a part of them. ...And I'll probably die alone.

 

[KaiRai]

You have severe tourette's sir. Some points were true though I'll give you that, but most of it sounds like you have some serious, SERIOUS women issues.

 

[Irridium]

Well that was an enjoyable read. Thanks for that.

I just wish lists like that would die and never come back. They make women look like clingy psychos, and just doesn't help anyone.

To be fair, I've found similarly shitty and manipulative articles written for men, by men.

Spoiler: No way. Our advice columns for women are the best.

hehe, that was funny

 

[Labyrinth]

*Snip*

Very amusing though I probably laugh at that for different reasons. Now, look at the underlying assumptions that 'advice column' reinforces.

1) Sex is a one-sided affair. The only pleasure that matters is male.
2) It's expected of men to be uncaring in a relationship. They're not there for anything other than food, housecleaning and sex.
3) The woman's role is to be a screwable maid/cook.
4) A woman who refuses to accept her "lot" in a relationship as described above is selfish, petty, shrill and getting above her station.
5) Men are all hypocritically selfish.
6) It's absolutely fine to pressure women into lesbian sex, so long as it's for male pleasure, as all lesbian sex should be.
7) Men can have all the sexual freedom they want and still expect a steady relationship. They all want to cheat too.

Now imagine the response if something like that was written by women, for women. It wouldn't be taken as a joke, there would be an uproar. The writer would flamed all to hell, yadda yadda. Here's a possible example:

Spoiler: Warning: Satire.

Q. Why does my girlfriend keeps shunning me for her friends?

Women need the company of other women because men are too slow to keep up. You should hire her favourite chickflick, the one with that guy she has the hots for in it and you loathe, and watch it with her while pleasuring her.

Q. My girlfriend wants a threesome with my best friend. Is that gay?

Oh no, of course not. Well, not unless questioning your sexuality would encourage you to sleep with more men. You should film it for her or let her watch. She loves that after all not to mention that all men are secretly bisexual. She's just giving you the opportunity to explore that.

Q. My wife doesn't know what my penis is.

She doesn't need to either. She has other things for that which don't come attached to a whiny, complaining male.

Q. Why does my girlfriend never let me finish when she does?

No woman likes semen within 100 meters of her. You should go do it yourself if you want. Save her from the 'duty' and from the result. Or maybe you forgot to clean the house again.

 

[President Moocow]

Is everyone including the OP completely MENTAL? All those protips are JOKES, the kind of "that's funny but so true" JOKES and if you didn't see that then for the love of god, get out of your self-loathing insecure shell and go get shitfaced at the nearest bar (for under 21: find a buddy to help you. For under 12, ask your parents beforehand). I don't know what's more funny, the article or how hilariously serious people's reactions were. My god, the only thing this article did show, is just how many insecure people there are here.

 

[President Moocow]

So I was going to limit myself to my above post ^ but then this is just too ridiculous:

Woah, woah, woah. Hold the fucking phone. Didn't you just say that you're self-concious about your looks?

So...you're self-concious...but you want us to make you fat by stuffing cake and icecream down your throat...but then when you get chunky and ask us if those pants make your butt look big you want us to lie and say no?

Fuck you, lay off the sugar fatty.

Ok, I was going to refrain from trying to explain humor but on this one you miss the point so far it's actually pretty offensive and extremely insensitive.

It's a joke on guys asking permission for everything on a date. There's actually an underlying good helpful message in it too. If you weren't so emotionally insecure you might have seen it.