27 Things Men Don't Know About Women, and other shit girls like to pretend.

[lostclause]

This kind of media undermines trust in relationships. It also teaches people to be shitty by providing bad role models.

I think this is pretty much spot on. Why on earth are celebrities giving relationship advice when half of them seem to be in the process of divorce?

Anyway, an amusing rant which reflects some of my feelings on this sort of thing (by which I mean the commentator, not women ).

 

[BillyShakes]

SNIP
Most true thing I have read in many months.

 

[RagnorakTres]

...
Sir, I believe you have firmly backed up my observations of women in general and I'm only 17, having come to those conclusions in my early teens. These are the reasons I won't touch "dating" with a thirty-three-and-a-half-foot pole. Period. (That, plus I'm in high school, so everybody is a little insane, including me, but at least I'm aware and dealing with it.)

 

[funksobeefy]

hilarious!

but do people really use MSN as their start up page? I think that is a tragedy itself

 

[TOGSolid]

They are obviously informed by a fairly mainstream stereotypical vision of what both men and women are supposed to be

This sentence specifically.

And yet so many women, by their inherent nature actually have these opinions. The source of this article may be crap, but it's kind of frightening just how many women would read the article and agree. What pisses me off is how many guys go along with it, something I go on a little bit about in my conclusion. Instead of letting retarded articles like this get a pass, we should be working to CHANGE this shit. To get angry about how gender relations are treated in the media, to have the balls to tell petty women to go fuck themselves and not get into relationships with them.

Ladies, this goes for you too. You should be getting equally pissed about this shit and doing your best to change all of this. I know not all of you are the stereotypical, average psychobitch. Hell, it's kind of a shame that this rant is coming from a guy and not from a girl.

What makes it personal for me is the fact that I'm a sailor. I've got a pretty different perspective on relationships than most people. I see guys (and girls, but mostly guys) get fucked over by shithead partners all the time. I see and hear all of the divorce and breakup stories and I just don't get it. A lot of times it involves partners that operate on crap logic like you see in that article. Why do people put up with all of this? Don't they know they can just say fuck it and not play the game? That they can tell all these pretentious morons to go eat a bag of dicks? Yet it's a shit problem that just keeps on repeating.

Also, by reproducing it here, are you not giving their (mostly crap, I agree) opinions undeserved extra attention?

It'll certainly be a great litmus test for the forumites, don't you think? Besides, I mostly just posted this here for the same reason I posted my Avatar review here. I'm just getting my rants and raves out to a bigger audience and seeing how they pan out.

...
Sir, I believe you have firmly backed up my observations of women in general and I'm only 17, having come to those conclusions in my early teens. These are the reasons I won't touch "dating" with a thirty-three-and-a-half-foot pole. Period. (That, plus I'm in high school, so everybody is a little insane, including me, but at least I'm aware and dealing with it.)

Heh, I was just like you back in high school. Enjoy the egotrip from watching all of your classmates waste their time on retarded, hormone fueled, high school romances.

Wait...did I really just write that?

GOD DAMNIT *hobbles off on his cane*

 

[Terramax]

#13: "... many of us are quite happy being independent and autonomous. Besides, we're not in any rush to quit lusting after young Calvin Klein models."

I adore this one because, fact is, if these girls can't do anything but think about themselves then they'll be lusting for young Calvin Klein models for the rest of their pathetic, decadent lives till the day they die; old, ugly and single. And what I have to say to them is "get on with it! The singles section of the restaurant is in the dark corner over there. Stay quiet and don't disturb the rest of us."

And if they really don't care about living single then why are they publishing magazines dedicating to finding, understanding and pleasuring male partners, or taking pot shots at men who they supposedly don't want to be with anyway?

To be fair, I've found similarly shitty and manipulative articles written for men, by men.

Really? I've never read an article like these written by men. Even the ones for men are always written by women.

 

[Ocelot GT]

Sweet, one woman thinks her opinion = the opinion of the other 3.4 billion women on the planet.

IRL, no hunnycakes, just because you say something it doesn't make it a fact.

 

[TOGSolid]

Sweet, one woman thinks her opinion = the opinion of the other 3.4 billion women on the planet.

IRL, no hunnycakes, just because you say something it doesn't make it a fact.

27 different women actually, which makes it a little more frightening.

 

[DRADIS C0ntact]

Protip: The only person making this complicated is you and that's where most women run into trouble. Sure there are lots of asshole guys out there that like to think they're Super Cool Doods when in reality they're total douchebags, but guess what, that's easy to see a million miles away. It's YOUR desire to view men as fixeruppers that need changing that is getting you into trouble with guys like that. Maybe if you'd stop trying to control men, and just go with the flow you all would figure this out. Hell, I never cared about getting into relationships with women and playing the game everyone else does and I figured all of you out years ago. Women in general, hell not even just women, people as a whole are not that complicated, it's just that everyone goes out of their way to PRETEND that they're that complicated.

Guys are easy to understand, I should know, I am one (though there is still debate on whether I'm actually genetically an alien, but as far as I know I'm a human guy). The problem is is that so many men are basically whipped into having kneejerk reactions when it comes to being involved with women. They're tricked by society into believing that they HAVE to be in a relationship and that 'that's just how women are' and that they should just 'learn to accept it.' That's how we end up with people needing books about relationships and marriage counselors. Why people go to Dr. Phil, why RomComs, no matter how terrible they may be, still make money.

Well you know what. Fuck that shit. I'm in no hurry to get hooked up with anyone. I'm quite content to give a big ole fuck you to the traditional games that people like to play with each other. It's not worth adding that whole layer of stress to my life just so I can feel like I'm doing what a "normal person should be doing." If by some miracle I meet a gal that everything clicks with, then hey alright, that's pretty awesome, but you can bet your ass I'm not going to bend over backwards just to make some narcissistic psychobitch happy for a month before she decides to dump me for this year's model, or even worse, marry her just to end up as a +1 on the total amount of sailors that have been divorced. I'm way too smart for that shit.

Dude...I so wish that you had written this and I had read it about 3 years ago. Before I got...married...

 

[A Pious Cultist]

27 vs 3.4 million thousand hundred hundred women.
If you think about it that was I find it a little more reassuring.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

#9: "Men who wear sunglasses at night don't look cool, rich, or sexy. They look as if they should be holding a cane or following a dog."

Actually, I've got nothing on this one. She's absolutely right, however this is kind of out of place in a list that purports to be all about the hidden secrets of women. It'd be better served in a list titled "Top ten ways not to look like a douchebag."

*kicks you hard*

The reason some of us wear dark glasses is that they are photochromatic lenses and the melanin-deficient of us have eyes that get damaged by too much sunlight. It's a sensible precaution to stop us going blind.

To be fair, I've found similarly shitty and manipulative articles written for men, by men.

Oh PLEASE post one if you can find it. I LOVE them. It makes me feel more of a man by not having anything to do with what they say.

This kind of media undermines trust in relationships. It also teaches people to be shitty by providing bad role models.

With respect to the Escapist, almost all media relies on bad stereotyped ideas to promote their own way of thinking. Look at how much a pr0n headline gets in either NUTS or Cosmopolitan.
People get told they don't know about things until they believe it and then...
TEN EASY WAYS TO DO THINGS WE TOLD YOU, YOU COULDN'T!

And that's before we get to the supermarkets that told you you couldn't cook, or the pharmaceutical companies that told you you should be eating more peellz.

 

[Soulkiller3]

Good thread TOGSolid, your comments pritty sum up how i feel on the subject. The type of felmale that is the type that the article repersents is the type who will exspect you to turn into there slave to feed there insecure ego 24/7 untill she gets bord or finds another unlucky soul to feed of at which point she will drop you as fast as a pair of shoes that have just gone out of season.

 

[Wayte]

27 vs 3.4 million thousand hundred hundred women.
If you think about it that was I find it a little more reassuring.

I always think about that. But I have yet to find on of the millions that breaks the mold significantly, so this list remains pertinent XP

 

[kawaiiamethist]

The givers of life? Messed up as you damn well want? Hardly. How about this: I don't consent to reproduce with you (putting it as mildly as possible here) and what happens? No life. You're not "the givers of life". It takes two to tango, so get over yourself.

Also, I'm not trying to personally attack you, I'm attacking your viewpoint. Just making the distinction clear here. I very much don't want to become known on this forum as a flamer.

Hello Escapist!

-Frosty05

That was tongue in cheek.

But the female insanity wasn't. Much of that article was exaggerated for laughs, like my response, but it did raise good points about female insecurity. After all, no one checks out chicks more than other chicks, just to compare style and weight.

 

[TOGSolid]

#9: "Men who wear sunglasses at night don't look cool, rich, or sexy. They look as if they should be holding a cane or following a dog."

Actually, I've got nothing on this one. She's absolutely right, however this is kind of out of place in a list that purports to be all about the hidden secrets of women. It'd be better served in a list titled "Top ten ways not to look like a douchebag."

*kicks you hard*

The reason some of us wear dark glasses is that they are photochromatic lenses and the melanin-deficient of us have eyes that get damaged by too much sunlight. It's a sensible precaution to stop us going blind.

Hey, medical reasons are totally kosher. I'm pretty light sensitive myself, but not to that degree, so I definitely know where you're coming from. I've got a very fancy pair of nice sunglasses for very similiar reasons. When it's super sunny outside, I am not a happy camper without them.

27 vs 3.4 million thousand hundred hundred women.
If you think about it that was I find it a little more reassuring.

And yet look at how much these opinions thrive here in the US. How broadly accepted they are in the media and society. These are hardly anything new. I'm sure you yourself know people that have been put through hell by people like that. Obviously I can't speak for other countries, like say Poland for example, because I have no idea bout the cultural differences, but as far as America is concerned, it doesn't take a whole lot of looking to realize that those views are the dominant opinion here.

 

[LiquidGrape]

I've said it before and I'll say it again.
Would the concept of "gender" please just crawl into a corner and die?
Sex is an inescapable fact of nature; gender on the other hand is a byproduct of an aged and segregational society wherein roles and stereotypes are assigned and subsequently affirmed by a social system in which the most contemptible and shallow of human traits are rewarded.

 

[GDW]

Hey, not my fault they didn't want to do BDSM roleplay of Arcee and Megatron with me.

Hear, hear!

And it's good to see such generally obvious points being brought up against those dumb-ass lists I see every-fucking-where.



Also, fuck you. "Live Free or Die Hard" was fine. Alittle wattered down compared to the original trilogy, but it did its job.
Now, "The Last Starfighter" was boring as hell.

 

[Chester41585]

Here I am thinking I was about to stumble across some Tucker Max-level shit.

 

[Radelaide]

#22: "We hate baby showers as much as you assume a sane person would."

I hate them too. Weddings are okay. But I'm mostly in them for the cake.

#13: "We're afraid of commitment, too. You may think we spend our time scheming ways to trap you into marriage, but many of us are quite happy being independent and autonomous. Besides, we're not in any rush to quit lusting after young Calvin Klein models."

Unless your dating a complete psycho, women aren't going to trap you into marriage or something. But there are some women who might. They're generally easy to spot though. Fake tits, tan, and temperament.

#15: "Even if we've only been dating a few weeks, don't introduce us as your 'lady friend' - or that's exactly what we'll become."

If it's official, we're your 'girlfriend'. Nothing more. Nothing less.

#16: "When we fall asleep before the end of the film, it's because we are happy and relaxed, not because we're bored of Live Free or Die Hard."

No, no. They really were boring. Sorry.

#6: "Women are innately self-conscious. This is not a choice; it's a gender-wide condition. On a bad day, I look in the mirror and see my ten-pound-heavier alter ego. Her name is Bertha. On a really bad day, Bertha sees her two-hundred-pound-heavier alter ego. Her name is Brian Dennehy."

This is true. But most women are pretty good about it. If we're feeling fat, expect to notice a behaviour change, but we'll try not to take it out on you.

The rest of those things are fairly bullshit, or I can't be bothered explaining them.

- Rade.

 

[kawaiiamethist]

I'm assuming this writer's in her thirties or forties. Much of this list refers to the desperation of that age group. Frankly, it's understandable. Unlike men, our reproduction ability has a very limited time frame.

Yes, women are petty, insecure, neurotic, masochistic, sadistic, freaks. This isn't new. No one recognises how insane women are more than women. I can't explain every reason why my gender defies the laws of sanity, and I can't blame it all on hormones, buuuut...we are the givers of life, so we can be as messed up as we damn well want.

You talk about your 'limited time frame' reproduction ability? Aren't we the same? I mean yeah, we keep producing wrigglies for a bit longer but... our ability to find someone willing to have our children considering that by that point we'll be around 50-60 and our hypothetical baby-factory is in her prime-time reproductively speaking (between 20-30) will be shot in the foot, HARD.

Based on my interwebs research, semen production is generally good till 55, whereas women 40+, if they do conceive, have a 50% chance of miscarriage. This is a huge divide. I wasn't thinking of the 50-60 set, more the 30s and 40s, mirroring those women who really hear that biological clock ticking.