___________ In 30 seconds

[kannibus]

Twilight series

Sparkly teen vampires and werewolves. Skank wants to be "embraced" meaning LAID. Faffing about and faggotry. Bullshit angst. Horrid acting in a movie of COLOSSALLY EPIC FAIL. Bullshit sexual tension. Cliches out the bejesus. More bullshitting to fill out TWO WHOLE HOURS. Screechy fangirls.

OCEANS OF BEER NEEDED TO WIPE AWAY MY AGONY.

 

[RanD00M]

Oh my, they're all true.

I know.Spooky,yes?

 

[Spitfire175]

Oh my, they're all true.

I know.Spooky,yes?

Yes. Very.

 

[Voodoomancer]

Spoiler: Star Trek:

Bad guy who's bald in a weird space ship blows up another space ship, which kills another guy while his wife runs away. His son joins the navy, meets Sylar with elf-ears, then a planet turns into a black hole, then they go space-antartica and meet older spock, then they follow bad guy to the ridiculously defenseless earth, more stuff blows up, bad guy dies because he's stubborn, epic nerdrage happens.

 

[kiwisushi]

Final Fantasy X - He was all a dream
Final Fantasy X-2 - I wish it was all a dream

Idiocracy (film) - guy (and girl) gets frozen for being average, wake up in future of stupid people, run country after escape from deadly monster truck execution.

Paperboy (game) - ride a bike, throw papers, fall over, fail miserably.

Ikaruga (game) - look at all the pretty colou. .... oh crap i'm dead!

Excel Saga (anime) - Crazy girl and girl that dies a lot try to appease a guy who wants to take over the world by parodying every anime stereotype. Have a dog called Menchi for emergency food supply.

 

[Becoming Insane]

Pani Poni Dash (anime):
10 year old Japanese-American MIT graduate teaches a class of: a bookworm, Ms. Fanservice, a hyperactive girl, someone who can do pretty much anything, a rabbit, and more. Oh, and she's being observed by aliens.

Lucky Star (anime):
Anime version of Seinfield.

Azumanga Daioh (anime):
Combine the above two, but remove the aliens and the do-anything girl. And make the 10-year old a student.

Excel Saga (anime) - Crazy girl and girl that dies a lot try to appease a guy who wants to take over the world by parodying every anime stereotype. Have a dog called Menchi for emergency food supply.

Too true.

 

[Mr.logic]

castlevania:


dracula comes back bringing his huge ass castle with him you either have a holy whip or not but either way you fight a bunch of crap then find dracula then he goes 1 hahaha 2 hahaha 3 hahaha 3 bats then you kill him =D

 

[Adanos]

Tetris:Shapes are sent by GOD. You must build wall. GOD doesn't like holes in walls. Shapes come down faster. You lose.

Plants vs Zombies: Zombies like brains. Plants don't like zombies.

Marioress UP to jump.

Portal: Blue, Orange, Companion cube. Cake!!!

 

[Mr.logic]

star fox 64

peppy tells you to do a barrel roll.

 

[Trivun]

Is it written in 30 seconds or read in 30 seconds (some people read slower)

Read in 30 seconds or less. You can spend as long as you want writing it.

Here's another one:

Halo storyline
Aliens invade earth. Humans & aliens find wierd HAX thing that blows up everything. Humans stop them activating it. Humans destroy biggest one, and somehow end up surviving.

Ahem...

ACTUAL Halo Storyline:

Aliens invade Earth. Aliens find weird ring thing that destroys all life. Humans crash on ring and find zombie aliens. Books detail incredible backstory that nobody cares about because nobody cares about game story. Haters say Halo has generic story. I kill haters for not bothering to even look at thing they apparently hate. Haters never realise that Halo has most unique and expansive story in games aside from Warhammer/Star Wars because they're too busy being dead.

 

[Trivun]

Twilight series

Sparkly teen vampires and werewolves. Skank wants to be "embraced" meaning LAID. Faffing about and faggotry. Bullshit angst. Horrid acting in a movie of COLOSSALLY EPIC FAIL. Bullshit sexual tension. Cliches out the bejesus. More bullshitting to fill out TWO WHOLE HOURS. Screechy fangirls.

OCEANS OF BEER NEEDED TO WIPE AWAY MY AGONY.

New Moon:

Fight at start when other vampire tries to drink human blood. Good bit when female vampire appears loads. Gay vampire leaves early on. Film improves. Film turns out to be good because gay vampire isn't there. Angsty teen isn't as angsty anymore. Werewolf fights sexy female vampire and rips Bob Marley vampire apart. Coolness occurs. Acting improves drastically because gay vampire isn't there. Gay vampire comes back. Film stays good because of royal vampires having epic fight and creepy yet attractive lolita vampire. Gay vampire ruins ending. Overall, mostly good and much better than first, but ruined because gay vampire comes back.

As you can see, I like the Twilight series, but I hate Edward Cullen. And I hate the sparkly side of it all. If they had him in much less and Alice Cullen in much more, then I'd be much happier. Also, I'm slightly worried that I'm a sick person, because I think Dakota Fanning's character (a sadistic psychic-pain-causing vampire) is really attractive, plus the creepy head honcho vampire played by Michael Sheen is just too creepy yet cool for words...

EDIT: Double post, dammit...

 

[WafflesandBacon]

Kingdom Hearts:

Anime kids and Disney characters save the world

 

[Commander Jack Rankin]

Superman 64

Fly through rings while dying inside.

 

[E-mantheseeker]

Harry Potter: 10 or 11 year old boy discovers he's considered a legend in the wizard world for defeating a legendarily evil Wizard...as a baby! Young boy proceeds to spend every year getting his ass demolished by the exact same evil Wizard from before.

 

[TheNumber1Zero]

Tetris

Move blocks, pile blocks, erase blocks with other blocks, move blocks.

 

[Aerodyamic]

Twilight series

Sparkly teen vampires and werewolves. Skank wants to be "embraced" meaning LAID. Faffing about and faggotry. Bullshit angst. Horrid acting in a movie of COLOSSALLY EPIC FAIL. Bullshit sexual tension. Cliches out the bejesus. More bullshitting to fill out TWO WHOLE HOURS. Screechy fangirls.

OCEANS OF BEER NEEDED TO WIPE AWAY MY AGONY.

Bahahahahahahahahahahahahaha*thump*bahahahahahahahahahahahahaha*flail*bahahahahaha.... *tears*

You forgot about how it's essentially a pg-13 rip-off of EVERY vampire book Anne Rice EVER wrote.

My contribution:

Killing Floor - Big British conglomerate is supposed to make riot armour, but sidelines into super soldiers, and naturally, everything gets buggered. The super-soldiers get loose, but they're really zombies, and there's a bunch of different ones, and you, you lucky bastard, get dumped in to clean them all out, for cash. The zombies get bigger and bigger, but so do the guns you buy from the randy sounding shop-twat, until finally you meet an 8' tall uber-geek with a Resident Evil chest-thingie that he'll swat you with, and an arm that sports a rocket-launcher+chain-gun combo.

Kill or be eaten. The end.

 

[skywalkerlion]

2012 (I know, I be ninja'd)

Goooood. Very goooood.

BAHHD! VERY BAAAHHD!

NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!

*end credits*

If you saw the movie, you'd get it.

 

[dante brevity]

Any Dan Brown book:

A freaky assassin kills someone who holds an ancient secret. A non-traditionally attractive academic and a sexy sidekick (of protagonist's recent acquaintance) runs higgledy-piggledy through a major world city, stopping at major tourist attractions. Pair finds a code. Pair solves code. Pair finds another code. Repeat until well-telegraphed "twist" near the end.

I can't believe I wasted time on this garbage...

 

[cheese_wizington]

Jesus:

Nice Guy.