A Question About Being a Decent Person.

[Shoggoth2588]

I'd have done the same thing. That was a pretty juvenile stunt for her to have pulled. I'm thinking there was some truth to it though. Maybe she did want to break up with the guy. Anyway, your boy can start looking for somebody better. She can grow up.

 

[electric method]

Ever heard the saying "in vino veratis"? Translated, in drink, truth. People are usually more truthful when they are bombed. More than likely, she was trying to see if you were still interested in her, or would be like "oh, who is the person you are interested in?"

In any case, after not talking to someone for 3 years, then calling them drunk and asking crap like that is begging for attention. Not to mention, self destructive and self sabotoging. If it were me, the conversation would have lasted 2 minutes or less. If someone doesn't talk to me for three years then calls me drunk, I don't have much to say to them.

Reminds me of another quote to live by. "screw me once shame on you, screw me twice shame on me."

 

[Funkiest Monkey]

Wow. What a *****. That's kind of a fucked up thing to do, but it's your mate's choice if he wants to break up with her.

Also, I've no idea how old you are, but if this is underage drinking, your friend should probably break it off. But that's just one guy's opinion.

He should break it off if they were underage and she was drinking? Why? Does that make her evil or something?

I'm 16 (18 is the legal drinking age in England) and I drink on regular occasions, as do most (if not all) of my friends. Social gatherings, parties, weddings, family occasions... All that jazz.

It's because people who drink to get drunk (all the underage drinkers I know) are in a downward spiral that will ruin their lives.

You think so? Pretty much all the people I know in school get drunk, and most of them have good grades. Go figure.

Well, in my most recent experience, a girl despised drinking, smoking, what have you. She got surgery, which killed her social life as she couldn't go anywhere. After that she began drinking. Then smoking pot. Her grades were all A's before. Now they're mostly C's.

I'm not making these statements without some basis in reality, so don't vilify me for my own opinion.

I'm sorry if I offended you.

But I was just saying that "drinking leads to a downward spiral that ruins lives" is a very generalised statement. And although, yes, this can have an effect on people, it can also not have this effect. Drinking alters all types of people differently, it can make them happy, or it can make them violent. But sometimes it's due to the reason why they are drinking, such as drinking for fun, or drinking for an easy way out of their problems.

I'm ashamed to say I've done the latter in the past, with some reasons I don't feel like discussing.

So, I do see how you could have taken that stance against alcohol, but it isn't the most evil thing in the world - It's more about the user than the product.

 

[That One Six]

-Snip-

I'm sorry if I offended you.

But I was just saying that "drinking leads to a downward spiral that ruins lives" is a very generalised statement. And although, yes, this can have an effect on people, it can also not have this effect. Drinking alters all types of people differently, it can make them happy, or it can make them violent. But sometimes it's due to the reason why they are drinking, such as drinking for fun, or drinking for an easy way out of their problems.

I'm ashamed to say I've done the latter in the past, with some reasons I don't feel like discussing.

So, I do see how you could have taken that stance against alcohol, but it isn't the most evil thing in the world - It's more about the user than the product.

Fair enough. I'm just a little touchy on the subject, as the girl I mentioned was actually quite close to me, and she's screwing up her life without listening to anyone who tries to help.

 

[Funkiest Monkey]

-Snip-

I'm sorry if I offended you.

But I was just saying that "drinking leads to a downward spiral that ruins lives" is a very generalised statement. And although, yes, this can have an effect on people, it can also not have this effect. Drinking alters all types of people differently, it can make them happy, or it can make them violent. But sometimes it's due to the reason why they are drinking, such as drinking for fun, or drinking for an easy way out of their problems.

I'm ashamed to say I've done the latter in the past, with some reasons I don't feel like discussing.

So, I do see how you could have taken that stance against alcohol, but it isn't the most evil thing in the world - It's more about the user than the product.

Fair enough. I'm just a little touchy on the subject, as the girl I mentioned was actually quite close to me, and she's screwing up her life without listening to anyone who tries to help.

Have you tried seeking professional help? Or having an intervention? They seem to work, but I wouldn't know.

 

[Thedayrecker]

She was immature, but then again she was drunk-dialing, so she's hardly to blame....

 

[Jedoro]

Nope, I think she deserved it for being a dumb *****.

 

[That One Six]

-Snip-

I'm sorry if I offended you.

But I was just saying that "drinking leads to a downward spiral that ruins lives" is a very generalised statement. And although, yes, this can have an effect on people, it can also not have this effect. Drinking alters all types of people differently, it can make them happy, or it can make them violent. But sometimes it's due to the reason why they are drinking, such as drinking for fun, or drinking for an easy way out of their problems.

I'm ashamed to say I've done the latter in the past, with some reasons I don't feel like discussing.

So, I do see how you could have taken that stance against alcohol, but it isn't the most evil thing in the world - It's more about the user than the product.

Fair enough. I'm just a little touchy on the subject, as the girl I mentioned was actually quite close to me, and she's screwing up her life without listening to anyone who tries to help.

Have you tried seeking professional help? Or having an intervention? They seem to work, but I wouldn't know.

At this point, I'm too disgusted to even talk to her.

 

[EboMan7x]

She was just joking around. True, it wasn't particularly funny, but it was still just drunken banter.

 

[Funkiest Monkey]

-Snip-

I'm sorry if I offended you.

But I was just saying that "drinking leads to a downward spiral that ruins lives" is a very generalised statement. And although, yes, this can have an effect on people, it can also not have this effect. Drinking alters all types of people differently, it can make them happy, or it can make them violent. But sometimes it's due to the reason why they are drinking, such as drinking for fun, or drinking for an easy way out of their problems.

I'm ashamed to say I've done the latter in the past, with some reasons I don't feel like discussing.

So, I do see how you could have taken that stance against alcohol, but it isn't the most evil thing in the world - It's more about the user than the product.

Fair enough. I'm just a little touchy on the subject, as the girl I mentioned was actually quite close to me, and she's screwing up her life without listening to anyone who tries to help.

Have you tried seeking professional help? Or having an intervention? They seem to work, but I wouldn't know.

At this point, I'm too disgusted to even talk to her.

Ah, I see. She's a lost cause now, eh? Hopefully she'll come around eventually, best of luck.

 

[TheSeventhLoneWolf]

Edit - Also, I've no idea how old you are, but if this is underage drinking, your friend should probably break it off. But that's just one guy's opinion.

Not all underage drinkers are binge drinking twats that drink to get drunk.

Around this area 90% of the people I know that drink does, they enjoy it too. Not really much of my problem but I don't drink, makes me stick out like a saw in a thumb factory.

It's rather open to statistics. But I think it's basically the view on people that like to go out for a drink at nights. Stereotype over the teens and such. But on topic to the situation:

It was wrong for her to take stabs over the phone, under the influence of alcohol makes it slightly understandable since it makes people less constrained on average, but playing tricks and such about attraction and love and all that buggery isn't funny. It shouldn't be trifled with since the metaphorical scars it causes never go away.

 

[Blindswordmaster]

I'm usually not a huge fan of when people talk about their social problems (gasp! reality? I don't want to hear about it on the internets) but I have an interesting puzzle and wanted to know people's thoughts.

I have this ex-girlfriend from about 3 years back, we didn't have a violent break up or anything, we just kind of gave up. Anyway, she's now dating one of my close friends, but hasn't talked to me in three years. Tonight she started bugging me on the phone, and was asking for my advice. She said that she was attracted to another guy, and didn't know how to break it to my friend. I gave it some thought, and told her she should tell him about it. She then laughed out loud and said she make it all up, that she was drunk and she just wanted to have a little game. Of course I was disgusted by her for pulling this kind of shit, so I naturally told my friend. He REALLY wasn't happy about it, and now he's planning on breaking up with her.

What I ask you, Escapists, was I overreacting? Or was her actions completely immature? Should she take responsibility for what she's done, even though by her logic she was drunk so she could get away with it? Your thoughts, please.

EDIT: Since someone wondered below, we're all 20 and of legal drinking age, which makes her actions even worse, this is shit you pull in high school for Christ's sake.

Don't worry, you did the right thing and you have nothing to be ashamed of. She was acting immature and your friend has a right to know how his girlfriend acts when she's drunk.
Also, 20 is not old enough to drink. That's illegal.

We live in Canada, drinking age is 19 provincially in Ontario, 18 in Quebec (I live in Ottawa, so Quebec's right across the river).

That's why we post our countries of residence in out profiles, to avoid such misunderstandings. More on point, you did nothing wrong, she did.

 

[Angel_0A]

Sounds like she was trying to trick you into admitting that you still had feelings for her or something. She got what she deserved.

 

[Blind Sight]

She was immature, but then again she was drunk-dialing, so she's hardly to blame....

How is she hardly to blame? Does drinking suddenly negate your responsibility towards your actions? The answer is no, it does not. If she wants to act out in that manner, she needs to be ready to deal with the consequences. My friend needed to know about this, because to be honest (and as other people have mentioned) I wasn't sure if she was just fucking with me (which, after not talking to me for three years, is an EXTREMELY bad move) or she was just covering for her guilt.