A question for our non-smoking, non-drinking, non-recreational-drugs-using, romance seeking Escapees

[Regiment]

I don't smoke, don't drink, don't do drugs, and don't have casual sex, and I'm quite happy. In fact, if I started doing those things, I think I'd be a good deal less happy. (I hate the smell of cigarette smoke, refuse to get drunk because I hate the idea of losing control- even a little- of my inhibitions, don't want to get arrested or addicted or start spending a lot of money on drugs, and don't want my life to become more complicated.)

I don't think these things are correlated, though. I mean, some people like drinking because it loosens them up; I don't. That doesn't mean they're happier than me (unless we're all hung over- I'd be much less happy).

 

[UberNoodle]

No smoking, no drugs, no 'casual sex' and perfectly fine. I don't have the health issues that go along with the first two, and I don't have the stress that can follow the second. I do other things that enrich my life. I think that OP has a narrow sense of what is fulfilling in life.

I'll take the bite. ;-)
Perhaps getting into detail will get me to understand the mentality.

Like what? What enriches your life so much that you can't smoke, drink or fuck casually at all?

Do you sport? I enjoy running.
Do you read books to learn and develop yourselves? So do I.
Do you like to play videogames? So do I.
Do you like creative excercises like painting, writing, etc.? I dabble in writing.
Are you member of an organization of any kind? I'm active in a couple.
Do you like a relationship? Well, I'm having one, too.

I can understand, I really do, why the health hazards can scare people off. But these hazards are hardly hazardly to stop someone from doing all these things. Why can't you enjoy a beer (hint: you don't need to get drunk straight away). Why can't you enjoy a one night fling? (hint: you don't need one every night) Why not enjoy some magic mushrooms? (hint: don't do them every night) Why not enjoy a cigar, pipe or hookah if only for the taste of (scented) tobacco?

You'll "bite"? It wasn't a bait to begin with. I am not sure what it was that sparked your ire but you've gone a bit overboard, I think. Perhaps you should have a nice a cool beer, after putting so many words in my mouth.

 

[Mr Montmorency]

I haven't been happy for as long as I have lived, and I can say that with absolute certainty, no amount of alcohol, drugs or sex (or the lack thereof) have ever had any effectiveness.

I don't want to bore anyone with emofaggotry, though, so I'll leave you to ponder.

 

[MagicMouse]

Hey guess what. Different lifestyles make different people happy.

If you haven't figured out that people are DIFFERENT by now then maybe the stereotypes about drug users are correct...

 

[EchetusXe]

Drugs are such trivial things and as such do not interest me.

 

[ninja555]

I'm pretty happy with my topic title life.

 

[Hyper-space]

Big deal, my clothes do not smell like sewage waste and i do not act like a complete idiot at parties.

Why is this such a goddamn necessity for some people?

 

[The Procrastinated End]

Yeah I'm happy and I only drink once in a while when there's a party or some family thing. Other then that I don't smoke or do any drugs.

 

[Derelictman]

Here's a thing to consider: do you practice transcendental meditation?

I'm not asking this as someone who has ever even attempted transcendental meditation; I just picked it because it's something you probably don't dabble in (cause, you know, not many people do). But those who do say it brings them inner peace and happiness on a cosmic level. Now, imagine someone asks you, "Why on earth do you abstain from transcendental meditation? What's the point of that?".

If you're like me, your answer will be: "Sounds really boring, to be honest".

Maybe I'm way off base here - maybe you actually think, "Transcendental meditation looks awesome! I can't wait to get me some of that transcendental meditation! WOOOO!". But the point is, take any pastime, habit or thing that people choose to do, which you've never bothered with because it looks, to you, like a total drag. That's your answer.

The reason most people like myself abstain from all of drinking, smoking, recreational drugs and casual sex is simply that they don't hold any appeal. It's not a judgment on the pastimes themselves; my father gains deep and sophistocated pleasures from alcohol, my older brother treasures his many sexual adventures with virtual strangers, I know that these are all rich avenues of life without a decent substitute. But they just don't look like anything I'd enjoy. I will never addle my head and dull my senses with recreational substances for the same reasons I'll never freeze my nuts off climbing Mount Everest - it's just not my thing, it sounds like a really bad time. Similarly, dating and sex sounds like a big bag of stress to one who is both socially disinclined and physically awkward and clumsy.

It's just my personality. I like reading. Doing word games. I'm a big fan of sleep. I like memorising things recreationally. I love animals, and take long dog walks. I love good food, and cook a lot. I watch lots and lots of movies. These things make me happy. Like, really happy. When I'm eating a delicious self-saucing chocolate pudding I made from scratch, or laughing my guts out at a really funny film, if you come along and tell me that I'd be even happier if I were under the influence of some drug or other, I would flat out find it impossible to believe. I have, at many points in my life, maxed out my personal joy-o-meter, reached that sweet spot where the pleasure seems so intense that you wouldn't even want it to go any higher.

Now, if there's anything from my list which you don't do, which you haven't even tried because it sounds like a really bad time - if, say, you've never memorised the names and locations of all the countries in the world just for fun - that's completely cool. Obviously that's not your thing.

 

[Spinozaad]

Not really, it doesn't look like that's what you were saying at all.

"My life is better than yours" is quite clear cut.

Oh, but I do think my life is better than all those who abstain from all these little things I mentioned. Doesn't mean that it is in a relativist sense. I can only truly observe the world from one single perspective: my own. And from that single perspective I can not fathom why people would abstain from all four things I mentioned.

There's more little extras in life than casual sex, drugs, and alcohol. Music, culture, travel, fishing and camping, photography, art, dance, acting, writing, gaming, dating, and love. I enjoy all these things and would rather spend my money persuing them then the first three.

Fair enough. Yet you do drink alcohol? Than, with all due respect, I don't see any need to disagree. My question is for those who abstain from all those things. Just drinking a beer (without getting drunk per se) is perfectly understandable.

You see, where I come from, and with whom I associate, only a few do all four on a regular basis. But all do at least one.

That's what I see as perfectly normal behaviour. Full, "Straight Edge" abstinence is what I can not understand.

You'll "bite"? It wasn't a bait to begin with. I am not sure what it was that sparked your ire but you've gone a bit overboard, I think. Perhaps you should have a nice a cool beer, after putting so many words in my mouth.

The biting was referring to your assumption that I do not know what is fulfilling. The list was myself brainstorming. I was not trying to put words in your mouth, my apologies if you felt I did.

I was only wondering what can be so immensily fulfilling that, I'll say it again, makes people completely abstain from alcohol, tobacco, casual sex and or recreational drugs.

And I had a nice cool beer, it was good.

 

[drummond13]

The reason people are "misunderstanding" you is because in one section you say you aren't saying you think people NEED these things to be happy. And then in the next sentence you say "but I need these things to be happy", just not in those words. Saying you can't understand why people are happy without any of these things is the same as saying that, from your point of view, you need these things to find happiness.

The problem is all of the things you describe here are temporary cheap thrills, all of which alter your body chemistry on some level (endorphins in the case of sex). If you honestly not only can't be happy without these things, but also can't even UNDERSTAND how someone else can be happy without all of these things, then you're essentially saying you're reliant on (read: addicted to) them. Which really isn't good.

Keep in mind, I say this as someone who drinks a lot and has tons of sex. But man, take those out of my life and I'm still a very happy person. Which seems to be more than we can say for you.

 

[DSK-]

Why would I want to screw my body over with drugs, cigies and drink? What is so 'cool' about it?.

# I don't drink because I hate the taste of the majority of alcohol (I like spirits). It tastes fucking horrible. How anyone can drink more than one pint is a mystery to me.

# I don't take drugs because to me that is a sign of weakness; in that drugs are to my mind taken to escape from reality. I don't see the point in running away from current problems. If things look like complete shit I will trudge through it and come out of it either victorious or fail miserably. Even then, I will get back up again and do the same. Plus the money spent on drugs would be a fair amount. Such a waste.

Am I happy?

No. I probably never will be. It's who I am. I'm not happy unless I challenge myself. Whether that is done by trying to beat my record of jogging to work in 14 minutes or doing all my interval running going to work without stopping (which is HARD!) or whatever I do - I need to be challenged. I have ridiculously high standards for myself and will never be happy because I will most likely not reach them.

Sitting around taking drugs and drinking would be the most boring thing in the world to me. I need to be intellectually engaged or do something physically intensive and I'm the happiest man alive.

 

[oranger]

Hmm...no, I find validation elsewhere.

 

[Fawcks]

Drugs, drinks, and casual sex are expensive.

I can't honestly say I'm happy, no, but that's because I just had my fiance who I had been seeing for two years leave me, so what do you want from me?

 

[Blue_vision]

I don't smoke, fuck, drink or do drugs (that said, I enjoy a good bottle of ice wine or champagne.) I prefer to find the deeper meaning in things that I can do.
Play football once a week with some buddies. Go walking around town or in the city with a couple friends, maybe just sit down under a tree and talk about life and the future. Go outside and sketch some birds, or stay inside playing video games or guitar or responding to ridiculous posts on internet forums. Learn another language, read books (I'm currently struggling through an Italian copy of The Divine Comedy.)

I much prefer to bleed the most out of these simpler things rather than get artificial pleasure that'll send me swinging around on an emotional roller coaster. And thankfully, I don't feel like these pleasures of mine are running out anytime soon. It may be different for you OP, but I've still got a huge backlog of movies and books to enjoy, 5 languages on my priority list to learn, and friends who've committed to not going off and getting boring lives. I'd really like to dare you to try going a month off drugs and casual sex and instead try your best to appreciate the simpler things in life, but I know that you won't.

Cheers.

 

[Spinozaad]

The reason people are "misunderstanding" you is because in one section you say you aren't saying you think people NEED these things to be happy. And then in the next sentence you say "but I need these things to be happy", just not in those words. Saying you can't understand why people are happy without any of these things is the same as saying that, from your point of view, you need these things to find happiness.

Yes, I suppose the gap between what I was trying to convey and my grasp of the English language that should allow me to convey caused this discrepancy. I must concede this.

Keep in mind, I say this as someone who drinks a lot and has tons of sex. But man, take those out of my life and I'm still a very happy person. Which seems to be more than we can say for you.

I don't know if 'we' can say this, but I'd say it's fairly accurate. I don't think life is very much worth living without regular sex (with or without it being casual) and the pleasure of a nice cold beer or whisky every once in a while.

 

[steampunk42]

i'm pretty happy...yeah....i find ways to enjoy life without artificial needs....also...im allergic to cigarettes....that kinda helps

You're allergic to cigarettes? What do they do? Bring you out in a nasty cancer?

they cause my throat to close, i have to be really careful where there are smokers and i have to breath through a bandanna i carry with me always

 

[bubba145]

well when i can drink i will but not like lets go get wasted runk just a glass or two on the weekend.