A question for our non-smoking, non-drinking, non-recreational-drugs-using, romance seeking Escapees

[brunothepig]

Let me add something in bold, because people seem to misunderstand me. Either willingly or not. Perhaps it's my pathetic grasp of the English language. In any case... Well... Just follow me closely.

I'm not saying that doing drugs, getting drunk, smoking cigarettes brings you happiness in itself. Sure, you'll get a boost of happiness but abuse (of anything) will only get you chasing the dragon.

What I'm getting at is a socio-cultural thing. You might not want to lose control, but why wouldn't you? Losing control, if done in moderation, is fun. Sure, alcohol is bad for you. Sure, tobacco is bad for you. Sure, 2C-B isn't really bad for you snorting coke on a regular basis isn't exactly a good idea. Having loads of unprotected sex is a bad idea (although loads of protected sex isn't, in my eyes).

But why abstain from all of it, in total?

That's what I don't get.
That's why I'm wondering if you're actually happy

I took the liberty of unbolding the subjective parts (or the parts that vary), since your whole post is bolded.
This boost of happiness thing is basically subjective. I can't speak on personal notes for most things, because I just don't do it. I've never done drugs, because they wreck people. I know people who do/did drugs, and they're totally different now, not in a good way. From what I've seen, mostly they fuel an addiction, whether you think they do or not. They might make some people happy for a while, but it's almost guranteed to wreck your life later. As for alcohol, getting drunk just makes you uninhibited. Now if you want that, go for it. but I for one like being in control. Oh, a little off topic, but I don't see how people can speak with pride about being so drunk they can't remember what happened. That just means you wasted a lot of alcohol, probably embarrassed yourself, and spent the evening less productively (for you, you may have amused many others) than if you'd stayed at home and gone straight to bed.

Now, for some people drinking and even drugs may be a social thing. Do it with your mates, have some fun. Me and most of my friends agree that these things are stupid. Does that mean we have less fun? I like soft drink more than alcohol, and I'd rather go over a friends house and LAN a few games than go out to a bar or club.

Do I really have to explain the next bit? Some people don't like not being in control. I'm one of them. It's nice knowing what I'm doing, what I'm going to do, and what I did.

Happiness is subjective. Your assumption that we all erect a facade of happiness and contentment to conceal the fact that we're all just depressed or bored is insulting, whether you intend it to be or not.

Personally, I don't like doing these things because I see no reason to. I am indeed happy, got a girlfriend, got plenty of good friends, got hobbies. And I have fun without needing drugs. Hell, it's my opinion that if you think you need these things to be happy, your life must be pretty unhappy without them. Simple math.

 

[BottleOfAwesome]

I don't do any of those sorts of things, some of my friends do and now they literally depend on it to have fun, and when they don't have any of it they are just sad and mope around etc, and I don't want to end up like them in all honesty, along with other things as well though.
I'm not saying everyone is like that, but that is just my experience.
Oh and I'm fine with my life, can be a bit boring sometimes but eh, doesn't bother me much.

 

[hardlymotivated]

I don't smoke, take recreational drugs or have casual sex, but I do drink alcohol. Overall, I'm not a happy person. I'm not convinced that I'd be happier if I did partake in those activities, though. I'm quite asocial; I very much value solitude.

With that said, I don't have any problem with you taking drugs, smoking or having casual sex. That's your choice, and clearly you're a happier person than I am (otherwise you wouldn't have made this thread!). It's whatever works for you.

 

[willsham45]

I drink occasionally, If I go out clubbing I drink more but I don't need boose for me to make a twat of my self.
I smoke occasionally, rarer than drinking, I usually have to be drinking and someone has to offer them.
I have never did casual sex or drugs

I am happy, I go out with my mates, I enjoy my self. I have a girl friend. its all good.

 

[zhoominator]

A simple question.

Are you happy?

I've noticed (and no, I'm not the only one who've noticed this, far from it) that there's a lot of self-gratulatory backpatting whenever someone states that he/she does not drink, does not use drugs, does not smoke and 'wants to wait for the right girl/guy'.

Now, I personally am of the variety that likes to drink, likes to smoke, likes to use all sorts of drugs and is of the opinion that sex is just sex, with or without 'Hollywood Love'.

I'd say I'm pretty happy. Cheap fulfillments? Certainly. Fast highs, deep lows? You bet. But I am a happy man. However, since I view the world through my own eyes, I can not understand how other people can... enjoy life without those fun things.

You enjoy games, you say? Well, so do I! But some times they're even more fun with drugs or alcohol!
You enjoy hanging around with friends, you say? Well, so do I! But some times hanging out with friends is even more fun when my dick is inside her vagina!

So, without being condenscending (well, I suppose I am slightly... But no offense ment), I'd say that my life is better than yours (that is, if you don't smoke, drink, do drugs, have casual sex). This is just my experience, and is in no way an absolute truth.

Still, are you happy? Are you really, really happy that you're living a, possibly, healthy but, in my eyes, boring life?



Disclaimer for emphasis: I'm not saying you need these things to be happy. I'm sure you can be happy without these, in my eyes, fun activities. I'm just at a loss how.

A Little Addendum. Or How I Learned to Love the Edit Button​

Let me be frank. I'm not saying you need all of these things to be happy (as I said before). If you drink and go out, but do not smoke. That's cool (unless you're an anti-smoking bigot). If you're not opposed to some casual sex, but abstain from licking some LSD, that's great. Any other combination of doing a couple of the things I mentioned, while abstaining from others is perfectly reasonable. Hell, I'd say you are perfectly normal.

HOWEVER.

If you do none of these things, I feel you're living a boring life. And I want to know if it makes you happy.

That's it. If you smoke tobacco or salvia divinorum, like a pint of beer every once in a while, and enjoy casual sex (but not exclusively and only casual sex, I'm not denying the value of a relationship), then this topic is not referring to you.

Because, you know, you're just a normal person.

A Little Addendum II. Addendum Harder​

Let me add something, because people seem to misunderstand me. Either willingly or not. Perhaps it's my pathetic grasp of the English language. In any case... Well... Just follow me closely.

I'm not saying that doing drugs, getting drunk, smoking cigarettes brings you happiness in itself. Sure, you'll get a boost of happiness but abuse (of anything) will only get you chasing the dragon.

What I'm getting at is a socio-cultural thing. You might not want to lose control, but why wouldn't you? Losing control, if done in moderation, is fun. Sure, alcohol is bad for you. Sure, tobacco is bad for you. Sure, 2C-B isn't really bad for you snorting coke on a regular basis isn't exactly a good idea. Having loads of unprotected sex is a bad idea (although loads of protected sex isn't, in my eyes).

But why abstain from all of it, in total?

That's what I don't get.
That's why I'm wondering if you're actually happy

Firstly, yes I am very happy at the moment. I enjoy the small group of friends I have, I enjoy my job, my sports, my time out, my study and my work. Well, you may consider these things "boring", but I don't.

I actually hate all this self-congratulatory crap that you mentioned about at the start. As far as I'm concerned, life is about having fun and as long as you aren't deliberately harming people to do that, then you can do it in whatever way you please. Thinking you are better or worse because of the way you choose to get your enjoyment is frankly rather pathetic and smacks of utter arrogance.

I totally understand why you are happy doing things like drugs, alcohol and casual sex. These things are fun for many people and there are great highs that can be obtained from these things. I think where many people might get irritated is when you and others state things like: "However, since I view the world through my own eyes, I can not understand how other people can... enjoy life without those fun things."

This is for a similar reason to that mentioned in my second paragraph. People feel as though statements like this are others thinking that their way of having fun is more valid in someway than another. However, I find this less irritating because I often get the impression that this is just out of genuinely not understanding something rather than arrogance. That isn't to say I don't see ignorance and close-mindedness in these kind of statements, but there isn't a smugness there that annoys me about the people at the opposite end of the spectrum.

 

[fenrizz]

Smoke - Yes
Drink - Yes
Drugs - No, only the occasional joint.
Sex - Yes

And I'm pretty happy.
But I doubt that the above mentioned things have anything to do with it.
Except for sex, obviously.

 

[Chipperz]

I'm one of those cases who doesn't do any of those things, but not on any moral grounds - All drinking does is make me violent, I've never been forced into smoking, I've never had the opportunity to do drugs and I'm so hideously repulsive that sex is a rare event for me.

That said, I have friends who do all four, and I will happily hang out with them and not care unless it starts controlling their life - One of my ex-housemates actually failed four years of university because he had to choose between turning up for a single resit or going out drinking, and he decided he needed to get pissed more than he needed a degree. When it gets to that stage I think a bit of judgement is justified...

 

[Kenko]

All I can say is, different people need different things to be happy. No1 can really call another persons happiness inferior because they are using substances to improve it.

 

[tehroc]

Smoking: I can't really see any pleasure. It doesn't taste good and the only reason you do it is your addiction. The relief after smoking a cigarette is how non-addicted feel like all the time.

You are so wrong about that, smoking is been proven to be a guaranteed stress reliever. Smokers on average do better on testing then non-smokers as their anxieties are in check. While you escape into games, smokers escape while smoking, your no better by seeking an avenue of escape.

 

[Entropyutd]

I'm Happy

I drink occasionally

I do not smoke, the habit disgusts me.

I do not do recreational drugs, A generalisation perhaps but the people I have seen who use recreational drugs, as a rule turn out to be losers with zero ambition. I hear a lot of stoner rhetoric about pot being fine, and perhaps chemically it is not a gateway drug, but the habit of seeking a high, the addiction to being buzzed is a gateway to stronger things, and I do not know one person who regulary smokes pot, who has not and does not use stronger drugs when the oppotunity arises.

Sex, Romance is nice, so is sex, and it does feel better when you are actually with someone you want to be with. (And trust me I had low self esteem in my teens and pretty much banged anything in a skirt, which made me feel like shit)
Sex is not just sex, thats like saying it doesnt matter how you cum, if that is true for you then you might as well just jerk off and forget about a partner altogether.

 

[Natdaprat]

Oh... my life IS boring. I suppose I'll go out and piss my cash on smoking and drugs and drinks and whores, and not spend it on other fulfilling things I could be doing. I drink, and have a girlfriend. If you need all this materialistic things (casual sex, not loving sex) to make you happy, then you should really look at your own life and think about the important things in life, and not the short term "highs" that you depend on having fun with and being happy.

 

[Naheal]

Well, it's good to see that people can live their own life and be happy.

Do I drink? On occasion, when I feel like it. I tend to not like the whole "lapse in judgment" thing that I get when drunk. That and I prefer to not have to pay for it. That and people watching is fun.

Do I smoke? Again, on occasion. Tend not to for financial reasons.

Drugs? On occasion. Again, financial reasons, but I have one more bit to add to it: legality. No, I'm not gonna preach the whole "It's illegal and therefore wrong" BS. More that it's easier to not have to deal with the law.

Sex? Not into it. Tried it and was kinda "meh" about it. In a sense, I'm asexual, but I'm still looking for a good match for companionship. Hear some folks like that whole sex thing. Go nuts, yo. Whatever works for you.

Do I preach? There's the catch 22. I just got into what I do/don't do and why. In a sense, I just finished preaching. Not saying you have to do as I do, just saying that's how I prefer to get my stuff done. Know plenty of folks who are into each who are pretty cool. Know some jackasses on both sides (More jackasses on my side than on the other for some reason. Don't know why...)

There you go. Take what you will from that.

 

[Steve Butts]

If you need extras to be happy, i pity you.

I don't know about pity, but I think the OP is definitely finding happiness in externals. It's kind of a ridiculous and arrogant question. Of course people can be happy without those things. Some of those happy people might justifiably view a life full of drugs, drinking and casual sex as boring. As others have said, it's all about your point of view. I'd be very interested to see your thoughts on this topic in another twenty years.

I hope I'm not coming across as judgmental as the OP, but a view of happiness based so much on what you put into your body (or into another person) is rather narrow.

 

[Ironic Pirate]

I don't drink, do drugs, or wish to have sex.

Why? Okay, I don't know about other kinds of alcohol, but beer smells like pee, and I'm the type of person who would become an alcoholic. I have like five sodas a day.

Drugs, this one I'm more tempted, but they cost money, and I can barely get around to doing things anyway, let alone on drugs. A friend has repeatedly offered Marijuana, but I'm not particularly interested.

Sex, I'm just not really turned on by it. Same thing with nudity. Maybe it's my weird fetishes controlling me, maybe it's something else, I just don't want to.

If a girl friend (fat chance of that, but whatever) wanted to I could, but I wouldn't like it.

 

[Ultress]

I'm personaly not happy and not because I don't do those things.Though the only one I've tried is smoking and I couldn't hack it(if you'll excuse that horrid pun) and it didn't help me.I've also had a drink before with out knowing and the only thing it did was make the open world parts in No More Heroes more enjoyable.


In conclusion I just have other things to be unhappy about that isn't helped by drugs or booze.

 

[Jonatron]

I occasionally shake the trees for any women

That's an interesting interpretation of the stork or the cabbage patch.

...can you explain this bit to me?

 

[A Raging Emo]

See, I have done (And often still do) all of those things (Bar smoking, but I tried it once), and I feel I live a fairly unhappy life. I do go out with friends quite regularly, and we do have a drink when we can, and often other... things... do happen.

However, while this is fun, it does not truly make me happy. I've wasted my time pursuing a girl, it worked for a while (Just over a year), then it all came crashing down; that's when my opinion of romance drastically changed. Now, I think, romanc is quite boring.

 

[Czargent Sane]

because those things wouldn't be "fun" for me. my own pleasure is so low on my list of mental needs that it cant even make phone calls to the top.
in short, those things wouldn't make me happy, they would make me, in a way, sad. in this way my reason is perfectly logical.
things that make me happy, truly happy, cant be achieved through chemical means.

 

[Baron_Rouge]

I don't do any of those things, and I'm happy.

It's not that I have some sort of moral aversion to them, I just don't think I need them to be happy. You can find happiness in any number of things, in listening to music, having breakfast, helping people worse off than yourself, painting/drawing a picture, getting a group of friends together and watching Robogeisha.

Those are the sorts of things that make me happy.

Alcohol, drugs, and casual sex are all no doubt fine things, but if I don't need them to be
satisfied with my life, and as such see no point in partaking in them.

 

[That One Six]

I'm not happy, but I've learned to roll with it. I'm not all that important, so people don't notice if I slip into my own world every now and then.