A question for our non-smoking, non-drinking, non-recreational-drugs-using, romance seeking Escapees

[Spinozaad]

No smoking, no drugs, no 'casual sex' and perfectly fine. I don't have the health issues that go along with the first two, and I don't have the stress that can follow the second. I do other things that enrich my life. I think that OP has a narrow sense of what is fulfilling in life.

I'll take the bite. ;-)
Perhaps getting into detail will get me to understand the mentality.

Like what? What enriches your life so much that you can't smoke, drink or fuck casually at all?

Do you sport? I enjoy running.
Do you read books to learn and develop yourselves? So do I.
Do you like to play videogames? So do I.
Do you like creative excercises like painting, writing, etc.? I dabble in writing.
Are you member of an organization of any kind? I'm active in a couple.
Do you like a relationship? Well, I'm having one, too.

I can understand, I really do, why the health hazards can scare people off. But these hazards are hardly hazardly to stop someone from doing all these things. Why can't you enjoy a beer (hint: you don't need to get drunk straight away). Why can't you enjoy a one night fling? (hint: you don't need one every night) Why not enjoy some magic mushrooms? (hint: don't do them every night) Why not enjoy a cigar, pipe or hookah if only for the taste of (scented) tobacco?

 

[similar.squirrel]

It varies from person to person. I believe that some people can genuinely 'get high on life', and good for them.

These self-congratulatory backpatters you speak of are quite annoying, though.
Yes, it's probably a healthier and more fulfilling lifestyle in the long term, but there is really no need to announce your purity at every opportunity that presents itself.

On the same note... To all the twats who claim to be 'asexual' [something I've noticed is quite prevalent on these forums]: You're virgins. Simple as that. There's no need to rationalize the fact that you can't get laid, and there's nothing to be ashamed of either.

 

[HotFezz8]

i drink occasionally, but when i want to, rarely, and not when i feel forced. and yeah i have a great time. that said im not one opf these people who go around pyutting the world to rights about the "evils of drink drugs" etc etc. i find it hypocritical.

 

[starwarsgeek]

No recreational drugs, no smoking, no drinking (yet...underage). Not *currently* seeking romance, as I'd rather concentrate on school at the moment. And, yes, I'm happy with my life

 

[MetalPhoenix]

A simple question.

Are you happy?

Simple question, simple answer: Yes

I've noticed (and no, I'm not the only one who've noticed this, far from it) that there's a lot of self-gratulatory backpatting whenever someone states that he/she does not drink, does not use drugs, does not smoke and 'wants to wait for the right girl/guy'.

I never "take pride" in the things I don't have or do. Sometimes I wish I'd have a girlfriend. There are times when I think "A beer would be nice". I understand why people want these things, so how can I possibly look down on people because I don't.

Now, I personally am of the variety that likes to drink, likes to smoke, likes to use all sorts of drugs and is of the opinion that sex is just sex, with or without 'Hollywood Love'.

I'd say I'm pretty happy. Cheap fulfillments? Certainly. Fast highs, deep lows? You bet. But I am a happy man. However, since I view the world through my own eyes, I can not understand how other people can... enjoy life without those fun things.

I've never smoked and never had sex, so I can safely say "I don't miss them". About 5 or 6 years ago I stopped drinking alcohol, bacause it felt pretty good. Maybe I'll start drinking at some point in time, but for now, I'm good

You enjoy games, you say? Well, so do I! But some times they're even more fun with drugs or alcohol!

You enjoy hanging around with friends, you say? Well, so do I! But some times hanging out with friends is even more fun when my dick is inside her vagina!

So, without being condenscending (well, I suppose I am slightly... But no offense ment), I'd say that my life is better than yours (that is, if you don't smoke, drink, do drugs, have casual sex). This is just my experience, and is in no way an absolute truth.

Still, are you happy? Are you really, really happy that you're living a, possibly, healthy but, in my eyes, boring life?

Yup. Still happy. And yes, my life is boring. I am a pretty boring person. But I like boring. To me, boring is good. No unexpected surprises. Let's me know just what to expect.

Disclaimer for emphasis: I'm not saying you need these things to be happy. I'm sure you can be happy without these, in my eyes, fun activities. I'm just at a loss how.

There are other activities that give me joy, no worries

A Little Addendum. Or How I Learned to Love the Edit Button​

Let me be frank. I'm not saying you need all of these things to be happy (as I said before). If you drink and go out, but do not smoke. That's cool (unless you're an anti-smoking bigot). If you're not opposed to some casual sex, but abstain from licking some LSD, that's great. Any other combination of doing a couple of the things I mentioned, while abstaining from others is perfectly reasonable. Hell, I'd say you are perfectly normal.

HOWEVER.

If you do none of these things, I feel you're living a boring life. And I want to know if it makes you happy.

Again: yes, it's boring, but that's what I like. The thing that makes me truly happy is my bike. I'm a passionate biker. To me there is no greater feeling (that I know) than 'the perfect corner'. Entry speed, tilting the bike in, knee gently scraping the asphalt, setting the bike upright, accelerate and lining up for the next corner to do it all over again

That's it. If you smoke tobacco or salvia divinorum, like a pint of beer every once in a while, and enjoy casual sex (but not exclusively and only casual sex, I'm not denying the value of a relationship), then this topic is not referring to you.

Because, you know, you're just a normal person.

no-one is normal. That's the fun thing about people

A Little Addendum II. Addendum Harder​

Let me add something, because people seem to misunderstand me. Either willingly or not. Perhaps it's my pathetic grasp of the English language. In any case... Well... Just follow me closely.

I'm not saying that doing drugs, getting drunk, smoking cigarettes brings you happiness in itself. Sure, you'll get a boost of happiness but abuse (of anything) will only get you chasing the dragon.

What I'm getting at is a socio-cultural thing. You might not want to lose control, but why wouldn't you? Losing control, if done in moderation, is fun.

I disagree. I like to know exactly what I'm doing and how I'm doing it

Sure, alcohol is bad for you.

No, it's not actually...only in exessive amounts. But studies have shown that a glass of wine a day or a beer every once in a while is actually GOOD for you

Sure, tobacco is bad for you. Sure, 2C-B isn't really bad for you snorting coke on a regular basis isn't exactly a good idea. Having loads of unprotected sex is a bad idea (although loads of protected sex isn't, in my eyes).

But why abstain from all of it, in total?

Because I choose to

That's what I don't get.
That's why I'm wondering if you're actually happy

You'll probably never 'get it'. I recon you can't live your life without alcohol, drugs and sex.

and I don't understand why people would willingly 'poison' themselfs using drugs. But again: that's what's interesting about human beings. They come in many variaties




The above statements are just my opinion.
Pardon my English, it's not my first language.


A late response, but I hope it sheds some light on my strange way of thinking

 

[Pelephant]

I don't know about other people, but for me its mainly my religion and the people around me. No one around me does any of the above things, and I can see that they are perfectly content with their lives, so I don't feel any need to do those things. And why do them if they're unhealthy and can potentially ruin your life, and you're perfectly fine without them?

 

[AnAngryMoose]

I don't drink, smoke or do drugs and I'm extremely happy. I got a couple really close friends whom are like brothers to me and I've got a girlfriend I'm crazy about. I don't think you need these things and I sort of agree with Timotheus' post.

If people want to smoke or drink or whatever for fun, be my guest. I'm just saying that I think someone can be blissfully happy with a couple people they care about.

 

[Googooguru]

Im an Ex Smoker and Recovering Alcoholic , am i happy ? not all the time no but life isnt Disney land.

Can i still have fun without Drink and Drugs.. Hell yeah but then Again my priorities on what i classed as fun changed as i got older and luckily i moved on from the heavy partying

Got some friends still in it, they arnt doing so good now, had a few friends die in car crashes, O.D etc..

Am i happy ,not all the time but im glad to be alive to have the chance to live my life the way i choose given the lessons ive learnt..

 

[Buffoon]

No, I don't do those things, no, I'm not happy. But correlation does not imply causation.

 

[Machiavellian007]

Well, given I'm about 15, I'm pretty happy without doing all these things. Although I'm sure I could stop the panic attacks I get from stress by doing dope... then again, if it affected my grades, I'm staying far away from it.

However, I am planning to smoke dope when I've finished school. Try it, at least.

 

[Theraz]

I myself drink , smoke , enjoy some weed from time to time , and enjoy casual sex , but sometimes i feel empty from doing all these things.I don`t really know it`s like I feel happy and the other day i`m completely fucked up and on the edge of madness.

 

[ZephrC]

Let's see. Smoking has simply never done anything for me. Why would I pay good money to have bad breath?

Drinking... well see, I have this thing were the more I drink, the more awesome I think it would be to have another drink. Combine that with me generally being a sad drunk, plus a family history of alcoholism and drinking seems an awful lot long a recipe for misery in both the long and short terms.

I've never really found the risk to reward ratio for any other drugs to be worth the while. I don't have any particularly strong anti-drug stance, in fact I generally think most of them should be legal, but I just don't make a habit of using any recreational drugs.

As for romance... well... I don't really believe in true love or any of that kinda stuff, but I have an annoying tendency to form strong emotional attachments to people I am physically intimate with. This of course leads me to prefer sex with people that I could form a lasting relationship with, however experience has led me to narrow down the list of people that I could form a lasting relationship with to approximately zero. So I've basically given up on ever having sex again.

As for whether I'm happy and do I have a boring life: Mostly yes and mostly no. I'm generally pretty happy most of the time, and I noticed I have a tendency to... well it's not quite self-destructive behavior. It never gets that bad, but whenever I feel like my life is starting to get stuck in a rut I'll quit my job, or join the army, or move, or drive to Kansas to meet some chick I met online. I just kinda turn my life upside-down so it stays interesting, you know?

 

[Cuppa Tetleys]

I don't do any of the above, but I would say I am a very happy person. Here is what makes me happy;
1) I think one of biggest differences that makes me happy, is that I look after my body very carefully (good diet, regular exercise, blah blah) and I do martial arts and gymnastics. Now, although its a bit crap when you start out, cos you can't do anything, when you learn to control your body to such an extent (in reality, I'm not even THAT good at it, I can't do any flips without assistance) the feeling of control is so powerful you almost get ecstatic. This is especially true when you've got great music to do it to, or lots of people watching, or even joining in. And if I were were to drink, smoke and do drugs I wouldn't be able to do that. Plus there's nothing that will inflate your ego more when girls ask you to take your shirt off.
2) I know it disqualifies me a bit, but I have a girlfriend, and she makes me insanely happy, but I agree with casual sex. I just think it's so much better if its with someone you love.
3) I'm a complete idiot, and so are all of my friends. I'll admit I have been known to drink in the past and have a lot of fun. But I always end up pissing myself with laughter when I go out with my friends because we're all so stupid. We go out and film stupid things and edit them to really epic music. We play hide and seek in my friend's massive house at night. Really stupid, immature things that kids do because they are so much fun.
4) Drama. I'm still in education at the mo, and drama is the one thing that keeps me going when I have maths and English one after the other. Although acting itself is tonnes of fun (especially when its a comedy) the drama 'games' that are played to warm up get it for me. Park bench is a good one; when two people are sat on a bench acting out a scene and interacting with eachother and then a third person enters and changes the scene to something else e.g. a gay bar. And so everyone has to change how they act depending on the new person that's arrived. Then one person leaves, a different one joins in and changes the scene again, and so on. The other week my friends and I managed to end up in a theatre, acting out 'Twilight the Musical'-I laughed so much it hurt.
So yeah, keep fit, find love (optional), and be a complete retard!
2)Okay, i have a girlfriend, so that disqualifies me from one category

 

[crudus]

Are you happy?

Not in the slightest. It isn't because I don't drink, smoke, or sex. I do drink with friends when I am happy. I would never use drugs/alcohol to cheer me up. My family has a history of trying to do just that (about half of them died because of alcohol one way or another. My uncle had a .7 BA level once which tells you how bad his problem was). I am unhappy because I have been out of work for several months now and getting ready to move away from all my friends and am going through a bad break up. I don't smoke because I just don't like the smell it leaves on everything. My sex life is just one hilarious blunder after another; PM me if you want to hear it. What makes me happy is friends. We hang out, sometimes drink, talk about philosophy, problems. Bonus points if I do those things with my significant other.

I'd say that my life is better than yours

Yeah, you can't say that without coming off as condescending. If someone enjoys gardening, reading, and knitting as much as you enjoy smoking, drinking, and sexing; who are you to say your life is better than theirs?

 

[Casual Shinji]

I don't drink.
I don't smoke.
I don't do drugs.
And I believe in true love.

I am a Valentine's card in human form...eventhough I hate Valentine's Day.

Am I happy?...I am somewhat content in the situation that I'm in. Afterall, it could be worse; I could life in Africa or North Korea.

 

[Captain Booyah]

I neither smoke, nor drink, nor use drugs, nor engage in any kind of casual sex, and I am perfectly content. Smoking and drugs (any kind) I find disgusting; I can't stand the taste of alcohol, so that's kinda flown out of the window; and TBH, as far as casual sex is concerned, it'd feel as though I'd be giving up a part of my dignity just for a cheap, one-night thrill, so...

I'm as up for new experiences as anybody -- I consider that one of the joys of life -- but firstly (and as 'holier-than-thou' as this sounds) I just wouldn't be able to get over the damage I'm doing to myself. Seeing pictures of these shriveled, blackened lungs, I don't understand why anyone wouldn't quit there and then. Whilst 'you only live once', on the other hand you only get one body, so it's best to look after it. It's kinda useless once you're forty and lying in a hospital bed from lung cancer, and for me, that risk is simply not worth it. Not worth it at all.

Secondly, smoking, drinking and drugs all have their (decidedly non-fun) side-effects. Smoking? Coughing, shortness of breath, yellow teeth, and that weird puckered mouth when people do it up until old age. Drinking? Hangovers, loss of memory (and a night seems pretty pointless to me if the only part you can remember is staggering into a restroom and trying to aim into the nearest toilet). As for drugs, their negatives are well-documented.

But lastly, I just don't feel the need to do any of that to have fun. I don't see how slouching on a chair stoned is any definition of 'fun'. Obviously it's 100% fine to get wasted every once in a while, or smoke a cigar on a special occasion (does that sound too posh?) and etc., because that's just living, plain and simple: but it's when you become dependent on substances, or feel that your life isn't complete without them, is when it starts being a problem.

Rant over. Finished sounding like a textbook.

 

[PurplePlatypus]

Let?s just say the kind of control I prefer to lose is the kind you get from strapping yourself into a rollercoaster or onto some bungee rope and letting gravity and physics take the course. Well ok I haven?t managed to bungee jump yet but it?s on the list along with gliding, abseiling and more awesome rollercoaster?s. The kind that comes with drugs and social situations doesn?t appeal to me so much. I have a much better time staying sober.

 

[drdamo]

Despite being a user of the various temptations available i'd like to say that this coin has two sides. I do agree that to know what something does and to feel how bad it is for you, you have to do/use it instead of having a strong opinion about it in advance. And i do agree that those refraining themselves from usage of abovementioned potential evildoers are missing out on life.

Freedom of choice are the magic words and always saying no is as close-minded as always saying yes.

I myself was a no-er untill i was 20, a yes-er from 20 till 25 and now i'm working out the balance since the past 2 years. If aproached and used in a thoughtfull manner these enjoyable substances open creative doors whos existance you never would've discovered otherwise.
I do realize that if you and your environment have been struck with sadness concerning these matters that it is much harder to find such a balance.

So ask yourself the following:
Despite the evils in this world, despite the bad choices others made, despite those people being close friends, family or other loved ones; are you them?, are their choices your choices? and are those evils truely evil or is it actually their choices who made them evil?
Just because people you knew picked the short straw it doesn't guarantee that you will aswell just for knowing them. Like guns ever killed people, its still the killer who kills.

Alcohol and all other drugs are tools (love & lust included)*, tools to be used by choice, and that choice determines wether the tool's purpose becomes good or evil, not the tool itself. The only personal purpose of the tool is to be used.
Things will go wrong if you become the tool of the tool, as all you'll do is use it.

So am i happy? Hell yeah! Does is vary from place to place and person to person? Duh!
Can i be happy with and without tools? Definately!

*Sidenote:
The only exception that i personally find truely evil by default is tobacco.
Easy to get hooked, hard to let go and it hardly opens creative doors if any at all.
And yes, i do smoke myself, so by that logic i'd have to call myself and idiot, a happy one, but still an idiot.

 

[ultimateownage]

Well I'm too young to get away with all those things, so I do non of them. And I am most certainly not happy, but I doubt those things would change that.