A question for the gay Escapists
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Well, I think really the best way to start friendships with gay people is... the same way you'd start friendships with straight people. Apart from that, I can't advise much, there are so many different people with so many different personalities. That's how I did, and how my friends became friends with me.
Also, and this is just a tiny detail and really I can only speak on my behalf here, but I think you should say gay people, rather than just gays. Gays just kinda sounds... odd, like there really different or something. I dunno, just something that struck me.
Also, and this is just a tiny detail and really I can only speak on my behalf here, but I think you should say gay people, rather than just gays. Gays just kinda sounds... odd, like there really different or something. I dunno, just something that struck me.
The only close gay friend that I have is pretty easy about it. We were already best mates when he came out so it just became additional banter. A few jibes here and there about him being gay or us being straight. He's always been a bit odd though, so I don't know if he's the best reference point for the gay community.
Xerosch said:
lol.Xerosch said:
wut.
Dude, what are you on about? Seriously. Why is it that you choose to take a few experiences and make them indicative of all gay people? Why are you asking totally random gay people why some totally different random gay people act a certain way? You may as well direct your questions to Europeans, or males, or carbon based life forms for all the relevancy it holds.
I know quite a few gay people and none of them are anything like you say. I certainly wouldn't base whether or not I want to get to know someone on whether or not there's opportunity for sex.
I honestly don't know where you are coming from here. Gay people don't differ all that much from others when it comes to just talking and getting to know them. Sounds to me like you have some sort of difficulty with talking to them and erected some walls that aren't really there. I dunno.
Note: Christopher Street Day is not the European version of Gay Pride. It is the same thing. In Los Angeles, Gay Pride is organized by Christopher Street West, for example.
Chistopher Street Day/Gay Pride/etc. is the commemoration of the Stonewall Riots that happened at the Stonewall Inn on Christopher Street in Greenwich Village in New York in June 1969. It is seen as the beginning of the modern gay rights movement, when gays and lesbians stood up to regular police brutality and fought back. (There had been earlier similar riots in numerous cities before Stonewall).
As for your question. I think it is just Munich. I lived in Augsberg from 1992-1997, and Munich was like that back then as well. I hear Berlin is also like that.
Chistopher Street Day/Gay Pride/etc. is the commemoration of the Stonewall Riots that happened at the Stonewall Inn on Christopher Street in Greenwich Village in New York in June 1969. It is seen as the beginning of the modern gay rights movement, when gays and lesbians stood up to regular police brutality and fought back. (There had been earlier similar riots in numerous cities before Stonewall).
As for your question. I think it is just Munich. I lived in Augsberg from 1992-1997, and Munich was like that back then as well. I hear Berlin is also like that.
But, they differ from the sacred heteronormative default state, therefore they should all be stuck in the same pigeonhole, preferably far far away from us proper folks, with our right-thinking and family values and direct sunlight and all.Thespian said:
I'd like to jump in here & just point out that the OP isn't a native English speaker.
His English is MUCH better than my German will ever be, but please be lenient & consider that he may not understand all of the nuances of the phrasing he used in his posts.
K, also, you guys jumping on the OP for "stereotyping" gay people... he's not. He's saying that he's been running into a wall lately with meeting new gay friends in the new town he moved to. He's said that in his experience he's never had problems like he has had lately.
Which is why he's asking for other people's opinions. You bitching him out only reinforces the idea that this recent spat of bitchiness is widespread.
Calm down, everyone.
ps- Woodsey, there's no need to be insulting.
His English is MUCH better than my German will ever be, but please be lenient & consider that he may not understand all of the nuances of the phrasing he used in his posts.
K, also, you guys jumping on the OP for "stereotyping" gay people... he's not. He's saying that he's been running into a wall lately with meeting new gay friends in the new town he moved to. He's said that in his experience he's never had problems like he has had lately.
Which is why he's asking for other people's opinions. You bitching him out only reinforces the idea that this recent spat of bitchiness is widespread.
Calm down, everyone.
ps- Woodsey, there's no need to be insulting.
I really hope this is supposed to be sarcastic or ironic or something because I nearly spit up my drink whilst reading this...thaluikhain said:
The problem I see it as (and yes this is a broad generalisation and not indicative of every gay person out there, in fact many are not like this and all should be taken on an individual basis) is the types who make their orientation the entire basis of thier personality.
Now its been a long held belief of mine that the only difference between a homosexual person and a heterosexual one is who they are sexually attracted to, nothing more, and its a stance I stand by despite it landing me in hot water a number of times and labeling me as homophobic a few times too.
But thats just it, they are no different but if you try to say that to the select few who make thier orientation the entire basis of thier person they go off on one.
I have no problem with people being gay, or with people being proud of being gay, all the more power to them but you are a person right? an individual? surely you have interests, hobbies, opinions, thoughts, feelings... a personality, not just an orientation
But sadly for those who do make thier orientation thier personality in that sense, and thus the majority you find at gay pride events (lets face it if your orentation is your personality as it is for some, this sort of event is going to be right up your alley) are the source of the majority of the bitchyness and arrogance that seems to come across
A little mock conversation to try and make my point that little clearer:
Me : hi
Gay Person : I'm Gay!
Me : thats great, good for you, so how are you?
Gay Person : I'm Gay!
Me : erm ok, you just said that, but hows life?
Gay Person : I'm Gay!
Me : Yeah I get it, hows your day going?
Gay Person : I'm Gay!
Me : Stop saying that already!
Gay Person : OMG thats so discriminatory and homophobic!!!
Me : *sigh*
sadly enough while I did just make that up on the spot I've had conversations that have gone very similar to that in the past
Now its been a long held belief of mine that the only difference between a homosexual person and a heterosexual one is who they are sexually attracted to, nothing more, and its a stance I stand by despite it landing me in hot water a number of times and labeling me as homophobic a few times too.
But thats just it, they are no different but if you try to say that to the select few who make thier orientation the entire basis of thier person they go off on one.
I have no problem with people being gay, or with people being proud of being gay, all the more power to them but you are a person right? an individual? surely you have interests, hobbies, opinions, thoughts, feelings... a personality, not just an orientation
But sadly for those who do make thier orientation thier personality in that sense, and thus the majority you find at gay pride events (lets face it if your orentation is your personality as it is for some, this sort of event is going to be right up your alley) are the source of the majority of the bitchyness and arrogance that seems to come across
A little mock conversation to try and make my point that little clearer:
Me : hi
Gay Person : I'm Gay!
Me : thats great, good for you, so how are you?
Gay Person : I'm Gay!
Me : erm ok, you just said that, but hows life?
Gay Person : I'm Gay!
Me : Yeah I get it, hows your day going?
Gay Person : I'm Gay!
Me : Stop saying that already!
Gay Person : OMG thats so discriminatory and homophobic!!!
Me : *sigh*
sadly enough while I did just make that up on the spot I've had conversations that have gone very similar to that in the past
Also, i'm gay and I don't like Gay Pride really but I don't think it's right to spray us all with the same paint just because you saw a large group of gay people celebrating. The gay people you saw are not ALL THE GAY PEOPLE. :S
Yeah, worried it might not be obviously sarcastic enough, and I'd get banned for saying gay people are opposed to direct sunlight.eoghanryder said:
Stupid internets not letting sarcasm work.
Most of the gay people are know are perfectly lovely, self-deprecating people. The stereotypical bitchiness doesn't really abound [although there are exceptions, of course]. It's kind of funny, because the stinking claws of Catholicism are still pretty deeply rooted here [Ireland]. I guess it's a testament to how splendidly it's loosening.
I live in San Diego, CA, USA where one of the first US pride parades started. The parade and associated fair is a fantastic display of community etc etc etc. More importantly, it is a city wide event that brings lots of groups together.
As for the arrogant prick part of the equation: YES! My god some of these guys have their heads so far up their a$$es. I don't know why they do it, but I suspect that it is a defense mechanism of some sort. I am far from perfect (physically) and find that many guys won't give me the time of day even while trying to just strike up a conversation. I always fall back on this position: as a group people are fine, as individuals they suck!
As for the arrogant prick part of the equation: YES! My god some of these guys have their heads so far up their a$$es. I don't know why they do it, but I suspect that it is a defense mechanism of some sort. I am far from perfect (physically) and find that many guys won't give me the time of day even while trying to just strike up a conversation. I always fall back on this position: as a group people are fine, as individuals they suck!
I am gay and I think the bitchiness comes from the rampant spread of PC (Political correctness for our German friends). This means that all the homosexual individuals out there can wildly accuse anyone expressing different opinions like the conversation Fenra encountered as being racist or homophobic. The tendency to classify minorities as "special" means we treat them as though they are better than heterosexual individuals, when we are all essentially the same. This "special treatment" makes them feel more important and thus, they tend to proselytize or behave in much the same way ethnicity and religions have acted before in discriminating acts. I'm not bitchy about being gay. You don't approve of my lifestyle, oh well. Your opinion is your own. To ***** and complain that you're being racist or homophobic doesn't change anything. If anything, it'll make you dislike me even more. I don't see myself as "special" or "better" than straights. We're all equal. I don't understand why that's such a hard concept to grasp.
Well I guess that's mostly the older generations, they've had to deal with a lot more hostility and a lot less acceptance in the past. So I can't fault them for being a little defensive.
I am one of the newer generations, and I find it hard to be offended by homophobes. I just don't take them seriously anymore.
I am one of the newer generations, and I find it hard to be offended by homophobes. I just don't take them seriously anymore.
