A question for the Ladies

[KindOfnElf]

i have a serious question for you ladies.
i'm 21 years old and i have never had a girlfriend.
i'm very socially active and i ask girls out.
but to no avail. so i need to ask if i'm attractive or not.
i really don't want anyone being jerks i need an honest opinion.
i ask my friends but i don't know if they're just being nice.

this pick is about 4-5 months old.
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs045.snc4/34590_1541745426490_1320598066_31541955_4389477_n.jpg

Edit NEW PICK!!
http://i305.photobucket.com/albums/nn208/darktau21/P8280037.jpg

I am fairly disgusted by all the criticism I read in the comments. I personally care NOT what people think about acceptable society standards of someones looks. If you can not accept a person for what he/she is physically, that absolutely DOES NOT MEAN that the person should change in anyway. Ever! just because someone has different looks than yours,that person is NOT less valuable and shouldn't be exposed to judgement.
Dear friend, love yourself. Learn to be grateful for who you are, with what you have. If you want to change, change for the right reasons: only if YOU want to, and you want to try something new and different for YOU. NEVER for someone else, or in the name of "people will like me better that way". Want to hear news? THEY WONT. People are filled with critics, with million ways to bring down anyone and to see flaws where there are none. The world is a cruel place, and you need to really learn to rely on yourself. NO ONE is perfect just because no one allows to see the perfectness in others, and not because the body looks like this, or the mind talks like that or whatever. Be free of that, and please fall in love with yourself. You look perfect, and if you are happy with you everyone will be happy with you. Care not about the prejudice.
And one more thing: for every "freak" in the world, there is a "freak" waiting somewhere to be found. And you don't need the approval of the world to be who you are, the way you are made with a purpose.
Watch the video. You'll see my point.

 

[Danzaivar]

Love how this thread has descended slightly into Sacman and his cousin (Who isn't actually a blood relative iirc), let it go people!

OT: Pick a fashion and just get yourself to match that. Make sure you wear nice smelling deodorant. If you wanna follow the 'burn off moles and lose weight' everyone else is throwing around, it should help but isn't needed.

You actually look like my girlfriends ex (with shorter hair), so you should definitely be able to pull. Just need to find the right people...

 

[Sacman]

Grow the hair, maybe into a standard hipster cut. I know it sucks, but I think it'd look good on you.

Cardio might be a good thing to work on.

Other than that, I recommend finding colors that match your skin tone and blah blah.

Sorry, that's all the advice I can muster. I only let Federico (my gay side) out for a few minutes at a time.

that's kinda hard because my hair grows into an afro.

don't grow your hair otherwise youll turn into a sandal, short shorts wearing hippie. long hair = bad. keep it clean cut. the last thing you need is a assumption you care for the earth and the trees. that kind of guy only attracts the worst kind of women. here's a tip, clear up your acne and make yourself look thinner. i am heavy as hell but i look skinny, try doing that. then again i am in the same boat as you.

I have long hair, I don't care about the environment, and I have a girlfriend...Personally I think really short hair makes you look creepy...

Spoiler

*hurls at picture*

jesus christ, and you think i look creepy?

that's an old picture my hair is longer now... and I remember you posting somewhere else that you haven't had a GF... if I remember correctly...

yea but my problem isn't because of me. i don't talk to many people. the way things are right now doesn't allow it.

Yeah I don't talk to many people either, excluding close friends, but I guess that explains why I'm dating my cousin... but it's not like I haven't had a GF before...

Spoiler: short hair pics...

You're dating your cousin? That's sad and disturbing. You've done a bad thing and you should feel bad, and you have no right to criticize anyone else about anything in their life.

besides how is that sad and disturbing? we are 2 people who genuinely care about each other that should be all there is to it...

It's sad because you can't find someone outside of your family who enjoys your company enough to go out with you. Regardless of whether it's your cousin, your 5th cousin or your 25th cousin, it's still sad nonetheless that you can't find someone who's into you who you aren't related to. It says a lot about you, your personality, and your attitude, and the things it says aren't good.

It's not like I haven't had a gf before I just happen to be dating a relative at the moment. Besides what can you say about me just from the fact that I enjoy being with someone I care for, hmm? we've never met, and I'm a completely different person in real life...

 

[Daveman]

For me I think I'll only be able to go out with a girl if they find self-loathing an attractive quality. Hell, I understand probably better than most girls why they don't like me.

 

[ChicagoTed]

Love how this thread has descended slightly into Sacman and his cousin (Who isn't actually a blood relative iirc), let it go people!

OT: Pick a fashion and just get yourself to match that. Make sure you wear nice smelling deodorant. If you wanna follow the 'burn off moles and lose weight' everyone else is throwing around, it should help but isn't needed.

Agreed on both statements. If it looks like you can take care of yourself girls will think you can take care of them. The weight isnt that much of an issue but i'd say stick to the square glasses and don't wear the round ones basicly because they look like a pair cast of by the boy wizard himself. Also stick to being clean shaven even so some women love 5 O'clock shadow it would look very good on you.

 

[hyperhammy]

Asking that kind of question here is more inappropriate than going to Sudan with a dress made entirely out of food.

Agreed.
Is the OP by any chance this guy?
http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=992894

I wasn't sure if he was a troll... but lol!

 

[Scout Tactical]

Asking that kind of question here is more inappropriate than going to Sudan with a dress made entirely out of food.

Agreed.
Is the OP by any chance this guy?
http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=992894

I don't think it is. There are way too many differences. Not every white, brown-haired, square-jawed guy is the same person.

 

[similar.squirrel]

I'm not a Lady, but here goes:

Lose weight. I'd hate to sound like a jerk, but you look quite hefty.
See if you can get those facial moles removed [I'm not sure how much this costs in the US].
Keep the glasses. They're interesting.
Find another occupation besides 'Fast Food'. This kind of ties in with point number 1.

 

[JanatUrlich]

Sorry mate, you're just not attractive.

You look a lot better with the hair in the second picture though!

Sorry if I sound mean, but I assume you wanted honesty and that's definitely what I'm fucking good at

 

[katsabas]

Not a lady, but one who has gone down that road. One word, man: gym. At home, outside, whatever. Get fit. Builds self-confidence. And what some guy here said, you gotta find the right people. Keep searching.

 

[Palademon]

You want honest? You're not my type. And my boyfriend isn't a lot of other people's type. I'm not a lot of people's type. But there's someone out there just for you. It sounds cheesy, I know, but I believe in it 100%!
Suggestions? Get healthy, dude. You're not going to be looking for long if you don't take care of yourself, if you catch my drift, and if you can't take good care of yourself, how can you take care of a lady? I'm sure you've got a great personality, you sound like a nice enough guy. But it makes me sad when men, or anyone for that matter, can't or won't stay healthy. I don't want to put you down or depress you. But you're asking for an honest opinion, so here it is. Just get yourself in shape and you'll have a much better shot! It can be something small, like taking a walk every day. I'm starting to do the same thing. I take my dogs for longer walks now to keep myself in decent enough shape (hey, I love food, but I have to do something to balance it out).

Best of luck to you! I hope I helped give you a better perspective and an idea on where to start. Cheers!

And to Ultratrinkie: There are women on The Escapist. We're just hiding because we hate being mocked by men who think women can't use the internet.

You can be healthy without being physically fit you know.

 

[Communist partisan]

New glases fix your hair... for you mabey let it grow out a bit but always keep it fixed and try looking more happy and "fresh"? you look really tired and pretty busted on the pic and if you want well..... honest answer.... drop some weight no offence I see peapole already named it in the thread so I hope you won't get pissed on me. btw I'm a guy and don't think you are attractive or something I only know you would look better if you fixed a few of my alternatives. have a great evning now.

 

[lee1287]

get down the gym. Girls love MUSCLES BRO

 

[Zapotec]

Hi. I'm a girl. I think you look good. Really, it's more important, I think, that a guy is kind and interesting. Oh, and be considerate, too. When a girl gets to know you and like you, she will like what you look like, too. I hope you find a nice girl Of course, being well-groomed and nicely dressed are important, too.

 

[Palademon]

The sad truth is people are shallow. I have the same problem. I also have a problem finding females of similar interest. Just keep meeting people, or use an internet dating service. Hopefully, you'll find a more kind person.

And it helps to take an impressive picture. E.g. Here's me:
http://i1037.photobucket.com/albums/a454/Palademon/PalademonLive.jpg

 

[Umwerfer]

you're looking for women on the escapist? good luck pal, you'll need it.

Perhaps such a futile search is compatible with the "needle/haystack" meatphore, but any girl who spends time on escapist forums would by my account be a gem amongst gems, and thus easily worth the time spent searching

 

[darktau21]

I'm not a Lady, but here goes:

Lose weight. I'd hate to sound like a jerk, but you look quite hefty.
See if you can get those facial moles removed [I'm not sure how much this costs in the US].
Keep the glasses. They're interesting.
Find another occupation besides 'Fast Food'. This kind of ties in with point number 1.

i don't eat fastfood. i haven't eaten any in like 6 months.

maybe a full body pick might be a good idea. just to show u guys that i'm not the fatass you all seem to think i am. i just have a baby face.

 

[darktau21]

you're looking for women on the escapist? good luck pal, you'll need it.

Perhaps such a futile search is compatible with the "needle/haystack" meatphore, but any girl who spends time on escapist forums would by my account be a gem amongst gems, and thus easily worth the time spent searching

i agree 100% with Umwerfer

 

[Tharwen]

I personally would have put this question to Yahoo answers, but from a mostly heterosexual standpoint, I think you need to lose a little weight. At the very least, it'll make you feel better, and that should help enormously.