About sex

[Thedayrecker]

My sex drive..... drives me to sex..... usually unsucessfully.

 

[Cain_Zeros]

A sex drive simply feels like the desire to have sex. Not even necessarily an overwhelming urge or need, just kinda wanting to. Now sexual arousal, that's a little closer to what I described in the second sentence.

 

[LightspeedJack]

Maybe you're just "barking up the wrong tree" if you catch my drift.

 

[Terminal Blue]

I'm going to skip personal experience and cut straight to advice..

Don't worry. There is no reason you would know about your own sex drive until you've had experiences which help you navigate it. Or, more accurately, there are lots of other emotions which are going to get in the way, so give yourself time to relax and become comfortable.

To take an example, as an adult I'd presume you don't sit around and pretend you're driving a car because it wouldn't feel realistic. Any emotion or thrill you got from driving a car could only be experienced if you'd actually driven a car and could remember doing it. We can sometimes simulate it a little by fantasizing, and that's why porn exists, but ultimately noone knows their sex drive until they start actively testing it through sexual experience.

If/when you start having sexual experiences, you'll probably discover things which you like and things which you don't like. The things which you like you'll remember, and sometimes you'll remember them and it will be hot. That's a sex drive.. it's something you build up through experience and active fantasy, not something which is just there.

Erections are meaningless, especially in adolescence. It's just a purely physiological response which doesn't necessarily have any sexual component at all. Some people will get them a lot and some people won't get them at all, it means nothing either way.

Don't rule yourself out as asexual. Some people genuinely are asexual, but don't let yourself get labelled for no good reason. Sexual desire won't just fall into your lap (heh), you have to take the time to fathom it out. Those little brats who are horny all the damn time have just been sexualized early. Probably by jacking off to too much porn.

 

[lemiel14n3]

Check your "wank bank" whatever you find yourself "investigating" more is your sexual preference. Of course there's always the possibility that you're bi. nothing wrong with that, just means you go both ways

 

[Biosophilogical]

-snip-

You forgot about one of the key features in to people helping you on the internet.
Describe you gender!!!
Sorry but are you male or female?

I'm male, and to clarify to everyone on this thread, I find people of both genders to be physically attractive (well, I find them attractive if they actually are attractive), but it's never been a "Let's get it on" kind of thing, more just me being aware of the physical qualities of other people (a phenomenon I think most people experience, regardless of sexuality, but that's a whole other can of worms which I'll put in a spoiler)

Spoiler: My explanation

My theory is that everyone is physically and socially attracted/repelled by everyone else (which is how people discern who is attractive within their own gender, and therefore likely to attract desired mates of the opposite gender (which I believe stems from the idea of opportunistic reproduction (not all the desired mates will "get it on" with the attractive friend, so you would be there to catch his/her metaphorical run-off/excess/overflow/etc))). A similar 'survival standard' applies to social attraction and has led me to believe that, while we all experience physical and social attraction to others, they are not the same as sexual attraction. Sexual attraction, in my theory, would be a result of the total physical and social attraction reaching what I call the 'Sex-theshold', which is basically the ease you have in experiencing sexual attraction; so an asexual would either have an impossibly high sex-theshold meaning they never find someone who ranks high enough/is perfect enough, demisexuals (I think that's the term) would place more value on social attraction, and everyone except asexuals would just have a different sex-theshold, which would determine how 'horny' they are.

So yeah, my current view is that I'm asexual/demisexual, have a high sex-theshold or have repressed my sex drive.

So my physical and social attraction (actually, maybe psychological attraction would be more fitting?) to other people appears to be purely platonic (for lack of a better word) in nature, kind of like how you feel towards a nice car, or a close friend.

 

[Corjha]

its like the tide, when i see or feel something sensual or sexy i get a tingle and a sensation of cheeky joy.
I savior it, jump in....and ride the wave.

Poetry, right here. This is how sex drive manifests for me

Also, OP, something must be clarified; Do you masturbate?

 

[Terminal Blue]

So my physical and social attraction (actually, maybe psychological attraction would be more fitting?) to other people appears to be purely platonic (for lack of a better word) in nature, kind of like how you feel towards a nice car, or a close friend.

An interesting theory, but if you've never tried anything sexual or actively self-explored, how would you know?

I say this with the nicest will in the world and based on personal experience. I once thought I was asexual, or at least that sex wasn't for me, then I actually started having sex and what I wanted from people crystallized very quickly. In fact I became a bit of a **** for a while and only settled down quite recently.

There is so much sexual variety that ruling it out just because you can't fantasize about something you have no experience of anyway is potentially a little self defeating. I'm not saying you're not asexual, but you might end up regretting your insistence unless you're prepared to push the boundaries.

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

I have a very minimal libido, I've found. Always have.
Still, it's kind of a weird burst of energy for me when I feel sexually tense. Like I can't sit still at all 'til sex hath been wrought.

 

[Burck]

A sex drive is the urge to have sex, whether it comes out of nowhere or is a response to seeing someone attractive.

Looking or thinking about a girl [or what have you] and you get a boner?
Sex drive!
Start really getting into any sexual activity?
Sex drive!

As for why it may seem repressed or you haven't identified it within yourself yet, many biological reasons can diminish its magnitude/regularity.

Or perhaps you just haven't felt a prototypical instance yet: a REALLY strong urging from falling in love or being physically close with someone. Once you know what it feels like at its strongest, you should be able to pick up on it when its weaker.

 

[Biosophilogical]

So yeah, my current view is that I'm asexual/demisexual, have a high sex-theshold or have repressed my sex drive. So my physical and social attraction (actually, maybe psychological attraction would be more fitting?) to other people appears to be purely platonic (for lack of a better word) in nature, kind of like how you feel towards a nice car, or a close friend.

An interesting theory..

..but if you've never tried, how would you know?

You're right, I can't know, but at the same time, short of a progressive chemical analysis of every active human brain on earth (or close to), no-one can truly know. For all we know, most of the people on this thread might have various neurological cluster-fucks that lead to similar results to an actual sex-drive. I mean, between social pressures such as movies, games, books, television, parents, friends, etc how do you know that what you feel is a natural hormonal progression? Isn't it possible that your brain has seen what everyone else is doing and basically created a psychological shortcut to produce similar results to actual sexual attraction? Your brain (or anyone's brain really) could, instead of releasing sex-drive chemicals, have a form of shortcut hardwired in, so instead of a chemical attraction you have a socially induced one that mimics it, instead of releasing endorphins as a direct result of sexual arousal, you might see a girl you know others find attractive and you've effectively tricked your body into an erection and into releasing endorphins as two separate reactions, rather than a one being result of the other. My point is, because everyone is different, and because we have so many social pressures to 'be this' or 'do that' how can you determine which theory is correct or which feeling is actually genuine or which people are genuinely experienceing something as opposed to a socially-instilled 'desktop shortcut' or 'psychological scenic route'.

Basically, although my theory is merely speculation, thinking that what you feel is what you should feel is purely speculatory, which is half the reason I made this thread: to see if everyone perceived a sex-drive in the same way.

 

[whaleswiththumbs]

This is possibly one of the best questions i have ever run across and i had to try to answer..

It's..... I'll have to get back to you.

 

[Ham_authority95]

A sex drive makes me want to have sex. There is a warm feeling inside me, my eyes dilate, my mouths starts to salivate, and my genitals start to feel funny...

Hope that answers your question.

 

[Something Amyss]

This kind of thread always confuses me. "What's it like to have a sex drive" seems comparable to asking "what's it like to be right handed?" Or "What's it like to be gay?" Or "What's it like to have arms?"

I can't see how one can separate one's self from their state of being like that.

 

[TheGreatCoolEnergy]

"What is sanity, but having the same affliction as your neighbour?"

My sex drive is high, despite the fact that I never get laid. This is slowly causing me anxiety, as I find that I am fustrated with the fact that despite that I am not perticularily below average on the scale of attractiveness or smarts, I still watch idiots around me "get mo ass" than I. This is one of the main reason I feel depressed every now and again.

In short, my sex drive is driving me crazy

 

[CarlsonAndPeeters]

When you have a sex drive, you'll know it. I was late on that front, too. I always felt weird when guys would be like "Isn't that chick hot?" and I really had no opinion. Then one day I did. Whether that ends up happening with guys, girls, or both doesn't really matter. Its a physical/emotional reaction to someone else, and its pretty easy to recognize.

 

[Burck]

You're right, I can't know, but at the same time, short of a progressive chemical analysis of every active human brain on earth (or close to), no-one can truly know. For all we know, most of the people on this thread might have various neurological cluster-fucks that lead to similar results to an actual sex-drive. I mean, between social pressures such as movies, games, books, television, parents, friends, etc how do you know that what you feel is a natural hormonal progression? Isn't it possible that your brain has seen what everyone else is doing and basically created a psychological shortcut to produce similar results to actual sexual attraction? Your brain (or anyone's brain really) could, instead of releasing sex-drive chemicals, have a form of shortcut hardwired in, so instead of a chemical attraction you have a socially induced one that mimics it, instead of releasing endorphins as a direct result of sexual arousal, you might see a girl you know others find attractive and you've effectively tricked your body into an erection and into releasing endorphins as two separate reactions, rather than a one being result of the other. My point is, because everyone is different, and because we have so many social pressures to 'be this' or 'do that' how can you determine which theory is correct or which feeling is actually genuine or which people are genuinely experienceing something as opposed to a socially-instilled 'desktop shortcut' or 'psychological scenic route'.

From the way you keep arguing from (elaborate explanations, doubts, speculations, etc), you seem kinda reluctant.

You can theory-craft all you want, but chemicals are chemicals. What everyone thinks is attractive IS a mix of cultural/social standards and horomonal or "instinctual" desires.

I dunno, I doubt I can convince you in some dinky little forum post, so I would suggest you find someone to continue a constructive conversation with.

A psychologist would be best since they (hopefully, and at least more so than anyone else) have no agenda when dealing with your questions.

Seriously, they really optimize your cognitive capabilities and process ideas faster.

 

[Benny Blanco]

At the risk of being crude, my sex drive functions like an engine with gears.

1st gear: Running along nice and slow, noticing anyone attractive of the opposite gender but not really thinking twice about it.

2nd gear: Reactive to attractive members of the opposite gender, but not actively looking for anything unless there are some unmistakeable indicators of interest.

3rd gear: Active flirting, possible semi, scoping for anyone with mutual interest.

4th gear: Really wanting to do something about my sex drive, overtly trying to pick up women.

5th gear: Will pick up and attempt to fuck almost any woman who is not physically repulsive and doesn't seem put off by the raging hard-on tenting my jeans.

 

[Orcus The Ultimate]

Nonexistent. I have worked hard on self betterment to have a sex drive, I have suppressed it into nonexistence.

I do have a drive too couple with a woman and have children.

yep, i understand what you're saying... but are you sure about nonexistence ? isn't it contradictory to say you want to couple with a woman without a pulsion ?


now funny question: are you a robot? XD
(dont take it personally)