Absolute Gaming Truths

[MMMowman]

Wepon of mass destruction in your hands = Chaos and Fun

 

[SirDX]

No guy can ever beat their girlfriend and Mario Kart. It's impossible. It's almost better to not try.

Everybody who has ever played The Sims has made their boss and put them in a room with no windows, no doors, and several ovens.

I've beaten my gf at Mario Kart, and I've never done the other one while playing Sims. These are not truths.

 

[Indecizion]

if youre the protagonist, its ok to help yourself to anything and everything that you find either in the open or in peoples private places i.e chests cupboards etc. and this is not stealing coz the NPC's will assume that you need it more than they.

 

[Jamface]

There is someone, somewhere, that will inevitably mock you online. They will also claim to have had sex with your mother.(Sigh)

 

[Danish_4116]

If you see a valve, switch, lever or button you must turn, flip or push it.

 

[Kiefer13]

Barrels almost always have items in them. So do pots, wooden boxes, and everything else that's breakable.

Corollary: These containers will only ever contain one health pack, box of ammo, power-up etc, even though the size of the container could often easily accommodate a dozen or more. Mooks are not very efficient packers.

 

[PunchClockVillain]

Swords the size of small cars are not impossible at all to wield, and can be used to do a variety of tasks that normal swords can't.

 

[FastFoot92]

Your sword will always be bigger than you are.

It's not always my sword.......

 

[Suikun]

MMO facts:

The more ridiculous the name: the more powerful it is.

Monsters can carry things easily twice their size, or more, without showing any sign of it.

Everything is one-size-fits-all.

Adamantine and Mithril are going to be metals.

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If the boss is exposing a weak point, you must hit it three times to kill the boss. (Retro games especially)

The more helpful they are, the more likely they are to betray you.

If a main character has a love interest, one of two things will happen: they will either die, or get together at the end.

If at first you don't succeed; try, try again... and if that doesn't work, look it up on Game FAQs.

 

[Balaxe]

You can tell someones true intentions by their choice is facial hair eg, Goatee = Evil!

 

[RufusMcLaser]

The extent to which good manners may be found in online play varies inversely with the popularity of the game in question.

 

[Kollega]

The pool is always closed sorry.

Your character or anyone else does not need to visit a bathroom. Like, EVER. I don't care if that has already been said here - it's just too obvious not to point it out.

 

[zero_raver]

Everyone gets itchy while playing GH/RB at one point or another

 

[bradley348]

Frank West has covered wars y'know

 

[Somespeed]

If you're a sarcastic funloving adventurer, it's okay to kill 400+ people, to get to your baddy, to prevent him from killing people himself.

 

[traceur_]

It is impossible to play Mario Kart without swearing.

 

[GrimFandango92]

1. The cake is a lie- I'm sorry I had to

2. stay the hell away from green mist

3. you may have to save the world but you can still find me 10 wolf pelts before you do

4. when you reload you gun when you've only used 2 shots, all other bullets teleport to the magazine your using, therfore you waste no ammo.....ever

 

[ButanicXpandA]

Artificial intelligence = bad.


oh wait that was the Matrix.


nevermind... they made a game out of it so its still valid.

and reloading dual weapons means dropping them out of the frame for a few seconds.

 

[Psycho.Gane]

1.the cake is not a lie.
2.smashing crates=good.
3.no BFG until end of game.

 

[Hazy]

There is always going to be a moment of frustration.
Doesn't matter which game. It WILL be there.

I have spoken.