Annoying stereotypes about my sexuality.

[Daverson]

Pansexuality would refer to all kinds of sexuality, as in, anyone who isn't asexual. Surely postsexuality is the right term? It's definitely a component of Postgenderism.

 

[weker]

Well from the link pan sexuality doesn't seem that different from bisexuality, as it seems like something that could occur every blue moon, so it doesn't surprise me if people just called you bisexual.

 

[AngloDoom]

I'm a big believer that people do not have defined sexualities - and the sudden rise in people claim to be pansexual or bisexual only supports this view in my mind. I think people should just doink and be doinked by whomever they want and stop worrying about what box they fit into now.

What makes you believe this is true for all people?

Nothing but anecdotal evidence and I'll happily admit that. However, I just think it's very convenient that everything fits so neatly into these terms we made. I've heard of and personally know plenty of people who labelled themselves as heterosexual, have done something with the same sex as themselves, then started having a massive identity crisis and changing everything based upon that one moment. I just don't see why it's necessary.

This is not to say I believe that everyone in the world would have sex with a person of the same and opposite sex if they found the right person, but that certain people are more prone to different sexual behaviours than others - similar to the Kinsey scale. Certainly there will be people who will never have any sexual contact with one sex, and so it would be easy to classify them as heterosexual: but what do we say of a man who found one man attractive once, or a man who finds himself in sexual contact with a man and enjoying it a few times but then often-times does not desire to do it again or does not like it with certain individuals.

I don't claim to have any answers, but I find it weird that we'd fit into one of the ever-increasing 'boxes' of sexuality. I just don't see what's so hard about not discussing what sex you do what with and just going for whoever catches your eye. Then again, I live in a highly acceptive society, with absolutely no pressures on my sexuality, as a guy who has grown up around a full spectrum of sexualities - clearly I can't look at this objectively.

 

[tahrey]

re: OP
I think the most accurate thing to say is that it doesn't accurately represent you. I know & know of a number of gay/bi men (*shrug* I'm not on the scene myself, it just seems to have happened randomly) and it is, to be cliche, a rainbow. Some you wouldn't guess if you weren't told, or you hadn't seen their DVD shelf. Others are edging towards Round The Horne style flamboyance, and more typically they straddle down the middle. A bit camp, and seem to enjoy acting like that because it's funny and they find it fun, but otherwise fairly regular guys. You'd have a suspicion that they swing for the other team, and they may be higher of voice & softer of manner, but it doesn't otherwise dominate their whole life.

Ditto the lesbian/bi women. Some are overt, and either somewhat proud of it or just matter-of-fact. Others, you'd never tell, 'til they turned up to a gala event with their partner.

The problem is maybe not so much one of outright lies but more a heavily biased focus. There still does exist the trope of the "straight gay" all the same.

 

[Vegosiux]

I've always found it rather unreasonable to care what people who are not me or my partner think about my sexuality.

I do dislike stereotypes, however, yes. Still I'll agree with whoever said that people should simply boink and be boinked by whoever they damn well please, and not think about which sexuality tag they were supposed to be wearing today. And they should stick to the SSC rule, of course.

 

[TacticalAssassin1]

So bisexuals like both men and women...
And pansexuals like men, women, and....?
Sure, I know there are lots of gender confused people out there, but that doesn't make them neither a man nor woman. Just sayin'.

 

[Radelaide]

I've always seen pansexuality and asexuality as a bit of a farce. But that's just me.

 

[userwhoquitthesite]

As for pansexuality, get over yourself. Just fuck who you wanna fuck and don't bring unnecessary terminology into it.

And if someone asks me if I'm gay? Am I expecte to lie about it? What if someone asked you if you were gay (assuming you're straight, I may be wrong)? Would you not deny it?

I'd say im only into men if they are very very pretty

and you assume wrong

EDIT: and just to add more to the point, if someone asks you if you are gay, you say no. If they ask why you are flirting with the dude at the next table and arent gay, you man up and say you arent gay but you you think dude over there is hot.

All this "oh, i have to lie about my sexuality" is crap. The only time you, as a man who (in your own words) likes dick, is if you find yourself in the company of people who will harass you for being a man who likes dick. Otherwise, you're just being lazy because you dont wanna explain that you are just down for whatever.

 

[userwhoquitthesite]

Dear Everybody (especially females),

Sex in the City and other similar, shitty TV show are not an accurate portrayal of how the average LGBT man acts. Just because I appreciate dick does mean my tastes or behaviour will be any less masculine than a straight guy. Please get this through your skulls, it's starting to get on my tits.

On a related note (this time for everyone), Pansexuality is not bisexuality. Stop saying it is. When it gets to the point where I lie about my sexuality for the sake of simplicity, something has gone very wrong.

For those unaware as to what pansexuality is here's a wikipedia article.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexuality

The more you know people,
David (Pansexual)

P.s. I'm actually in quite a good mood at the moment, just thought I'd give a PSA

So, ranting aside, does anyone else have this problem?

Except for the large number of gay men who do act like that? It's not about orientation, or even really a stereotype: the kind of gay man who will hang out with vapid, shallow, oversexed women will himself BE vapid and shallow, because people associate with those who have common traits. Sex and the City is a piece of garbage that ought not be viewed by anyone anyway, but you might as well complain about it "stereotyping" women as drunken whores.


As for pansexuality, get over yourself. Just fuck who you wanna fuck and don't bring unnecessary terminology into it.

Alright, everyone, start thinking like this guy immediatly and this would all be a lot easier. >_>

dont take my side too often, people will talk! *waves flirtatiously, then trips over over boots and rolls down stairs*

 

[LogicArmour]

So bisexuals like both men and women...
And pansexuals like men, women, and....?
Sure, I know there are lots of gender confused people out there, but that doesn't make them neither a man nor woman. Just sayin'.

You are mistaken. The are many people who identify themselves as genderqueer, androgynous and intersex. And many transmen and transwomen are at stages where, physically, their body could be of one gender or the other.

 

[surg3n]

I've always seen pansexuality and asexuality as a bit of a farce. But that's just me.

Nah, I'm of the same opinion, especially with Aesexuality, which in my eyes basically means someone with a low or non existant sex drive - people should only call themselves Aesexual when it's through choice.
I can understand why someone would research it and find out the correct term for their orientation, but I don't understand the need to broadcast it to the world.

 

[Eisenfaust]

I've always just assumed it's because the flamboyant/sex-in-the-city-esque/etc homosexuals (or pansexuals, whatever... full on homosexual is easier for this statement) are the ones the stand out as the typical exemplars of homosexuality, given people don't realise that non-flamboyant homosexuals are actually homosexuals... (not that there's a correlation between flamboyancy and closetedness, I'm just using it as an example)...

that sounds overly complicated... hmmm...

people won't assume homosexuality in non-flamboyant individuals and so potential disconfirming stereotype information is ignored... (damn you, social psychology courses!!!). I knew a girl who thought it wasn't possible for a non-flamboyant man to be gay... apparently it's believed to just come with the territory, as infuriating as it is

 

[Your Fearless Captain]

"Oh no! I've been offended! I should go rant on a message bored! I'm sure people there will care."

 

[LogicArmour]

I'd say im only into men if they are very very pretty

and you assume wrong

EDIT: and just to add more to the point, if someone asks you if you are gay, you say no. If they ask why you are flirting with the dude at the next table and arent gay, you man up and say you arent gay but you you think dude over there is hot.

All this "oh, i have to lie about my sexuality" is crap. The only time you, as a man who (in your own words) likes dick, is if you find yourself in the company of people who will harass you for being a man who likes dick. Otherwise, you're just being lazy because you dont wanna explain that you are just down for whatever.

But you yourself said that I shouldn't bother with unnecessary terminology. So how should I explain my sexuality? The "likes dick" comment was for comedic effect. I also lie for simplicity's sake because many people (such as some of the people on this thread) say that my sexuality is untrue or pretentious; and while I love a good debate, I'm usually relaxing at a party and really don't want to get into it. And the example I gave was based off a possible scenario, I personally assumed nothing (hence the disclaimer "Assuming you're straight, I could be wrong").

 

[LogicArmour]

"Oh no! I've been offended! I should go rant on a message bored! I'm sure people there will care."

See the P.s. asshole. I felt it was a topic for debate, it actually my first ever post on a forum. I now understand the old internet adage.

 

[Vegosiux]

So how should I explain my sexuality?

The question is more, "Why should I be explaining it?" in my opinion.

 

[LogicArmour]

So how should I explain my sexuality?

The question is more, "Why should I be explaining it?" in my opinion.

Because people asked. Sometimes just out of curiosity. Am I supposed to say that I don't need to explain it too them? Isn't that kind of rude?

 

[Vegosiux]

Well, if people ask, sure, you answer, but you don't have to explain yourself to them; you like what you like, and it's none of their business why you like something.

So yeah, if you tell them you're gay, straight, anything else, that's that...it's their problem if they have a problem with it, and they're the ones being rude if they start getting on your case over it.