Anti-suggestion thread: Books

[Necrophagist]

Stephen King. The guy is a genius at writing half books. He's utterly brilliant for the first half, but then it's utter drivel. Garbage. Shite. Bullocks. This is why his short story collections are so damn good.

Oh, and Dean Koontz. I've tried reading at least 5 of this moron's books and couldn't stand it. He's so untalented it's remarkable. My wife loves him though.

 

[the protaginist]

my hate goes out to Ted Dekker's Book, Saint. here's my version of a plot summary.

"the main character is an american assassin who lives in poland named carl strople who is a great sniper,who goes to new york city to assassinate the president cuz carl's being payed by assim feroz becuase the U.S.A. is opposing the plan to disarm isreal.but then,right before he takes the shot,the target changes to assim feroz.he shoots assim,but the bullet misses all vital organs and assim is hospitalized.but then Carl goes to colorado becuase he needs to discover the power of god and find out his name is actually johnny drake.but then a rival assassin named englishman captures johnny/carl's girlfriend whose name is kelly and goes to assassinate the president becuase the target changed again,but then johnny flies by helicopter to texas and confronts englishman after he kills 300 snipers,40 tanks,and 2 APCs.
BUT THEN...englishman tells johnny that he is a demon(he's a demon by the way)sent by a man named marseveeus black to tell johnny that he's ...the messiah or something? johnny doesn't believe him becuase he's blind now cuz god made him blind.then they have a big climatic showdown."

I must speak out against anyone buying anything by this man.

I am now actively frightened of this book.

It's good to know i'm doing my job.
Protag, AWAAAYY!

 

[Avatar Roku]

Any book that has the author's name in bigger lettering than the book title.

I totally do that! if they want me to notice the author and not the book, I get a bit suspicious.

That is a lie. Next by Michael Chrichton is a great book, and the author's name is in larger font than the title.

Brian Jacques is good for younger readers too, and he tends to make his name big.

Anyway, I'd have to say The Great Gatsby and A Seperate Peace. The most boring required reading ever.

 

[omicronpercei]

Tom Clancy Blows....He actually lives 10 minutes from my house and if I could, I would shit on his front lawn.

 

[a7r0p05]

Any book that has the author's name in bigger lettering than the book title. Yes I am asking you to ignore the popular saying about covers. Avoid any books by Dan Brown or any autobiography from footballer or other celebrity who has no writing abilities on their own.

Oh and if you're going to read Lord of the rings, skip the bits with Tom Bombadil...

How can you not love the jolly old spirit of the forest?

my hate goes out to Ted Dekker's Book, Saint. here's my version of a plot summary.

*snip*

I must speak out against anyone buying anything by this man.

I disagree completely, just because you didn't like one of his books, which by the way was like book number 7 or 8 in a series, doesn't mean that all of his books are bad. Read the book Thr3e by him, it's pretty good.

 

[Haliwali]

Eragon. While I wouldn't say to avoid it at all costs, if you've seen Star Wars you can guess the first two books. Not until the third does he actually make the story his own.

 

[Aschenkatza]

The first 2 Eragon books are ok, but the third isn't[IMO].
Lord of the Flies, evil book, EVIL

 

[Corven]

Anything written by John Saul, I don't know what I was doing but at one point I read enough of his books to figure out that all of them are pretty much carbon copies of each other that use split personalities as the big secret in the book, who's the person killing people in the town, who is the mysterious person leaving cryptic messages all over the place, who's the weird ghost, no one, they are just split personalities of the main character who developed a split personality from abusive parents.

It's worse than Dean Koontz, at least he switched between a killer who gain supernatural powers from their mother who was on every drug imaginable, and the killer who hypnotizes people for his own pleasure, and all of his villains have an affinity for eyeballs.

 

[Frank_Sinatra_]

Giant or anything by Edna Ferber.... UGH.

 

[pantsoffdanceoff]

I was waiting for a troll to say The Bible but I guess the trolls are busy doing other trolly things right now.

I found the Ask a Ninja to be a terrible disappointment. especially because it was advertised for about what? A year?

 

[anmolngm]

I was waiting for a troll to say The Bible but I guess the trolls are busy doing other trolly things right now.

I found the Ask a Ninja to be a terrible disappointment. especially because it was advertised for about what? A year?

Fe fi foe fum!

 

[santaandy]

I was waiting for a troll to say The Bible but I guess the trolls are busy doing other trolly things right now.

Shhh, don't give them any ideas!

I actually forgot about religion, let's keep this thread focused on fictional entertainment, shall we?

 

[PedroSteckecilo]

Hmmm...

Avoid Micheal Moorcock unless your a serious Fantasist, his ideas are greater than great but his writing is difficult.

David Eddings, while a good author is very repetitive, avoid his newest series at all costs, it is not very good, and this is coming from a fan.

Terry Goodkind should not be avoided unless you like S&M.

Jean Rabe's Dragon Lance books are not good, stick to Weis and Hickman.

Anything by Dan Brown is to be avoided.

Oh yeah, Thomas Aquinas is a brilliant theologian and a piss poor writer. Jean Jaques Rousseau is a great political thinker, but nearly impossible to read.

 

[xitel]

Shakespeare. Seriously, how can people stand him?

 

[Necrophagist]

Oh, and just for the flames - C.S. Lewis sucks ass. His books ripped Tolkien off like Paris Hilton's panties at a frat party and his thinly-veils Christian apologism was appalling.

 

[LivemeLifefree]

Xenocide (Oroson Scott Card) was near impossible to finish.

 

[santaandy]

I feel the need to mention the mixed bags that are Star Wars and Star Trek novels at this point.

Star Wars: New Jedi Order was terrible. Totally ruined the whole universe (can't say why without spoiling it). I enjoyed the Original Trilogy and after eras up until that point.

Star Trek is so voluminous both on-screen and in print that most of it wasn't worth reading on principle, especially novelizations of screen works. I really disliked the Furies books, as well as the stuff that did not exist on-screen like the New Fronteir series and the Harbinger series. I applaud the authors for trying to create new ships/crews/etc., but we can't all be the Starfleet Corps of Engineers. Much of the Trek novels felt like fan fiction that was written to see the author's dreams come true, rather than continue stories that weren't possible to continue on-screen like in the new Mirror Universe short story collections. I hate to sound condescending to someone's fan dreams (especially when I most likely would have done the same thing), but in this case it just wasn't as interesting.