The Blue Mongoose said:
I have some questions, though Verp, these probably have already been answered/addressed/rendered irrelevant in your comprehensive and informative posts.
Does being transgender impact on your sexual orientation? Is it part of it?
For those who are asexual, how do you feel about romance? if it doesn't appeal to you, why not? if you're asexual what does that mean for gender preference when dealing with romantic, non-sexual relationships? Are those relationships possible?
I realise these questions are potentially difficult to answer, but as a heterosexual male with no transgender or asexual or aromantic friends, I find it difficult to comprehend these things.
I apologise if I have offended anyone, I am just trying to learn and understand. The best way to come to appreciate something is to understand it.
(and just to be clear, I understand homosexuality, it's complete lack of sexual interest that I can't grasp.)
I quite honestly don't know where the impact of my gender identity on my sexual orientation starts and where it ends. A certain transitioned woman I've talked to several times once hinted that maybe the reason I'm not attracted to other people is because I'm so disconnected from my body right now since it's "wrong" in its current state and that my brain sort of rejects it, but I have a hard time believing it.
A lot of asexuals are romantic and their choices usually are to have compromise sex with a sexual partner or find another asexual and form a couple with them. Both seem to work, although the strain of compromise sex is sometimes just too much for an asexual or it may feel too fake for the sexual partner. Sometimes a sexual partner opts to be celibate or seeks sexual intimacy by their own hand or outside the relationship, which is another thing that's either a hit or a miss and needs some serious conviction and communication skills to pull off without either side of the relationship feeling neglected and hurt.
Since I'm aromantic asexual, however, I don't desire sex or romance. I just don't see what benefits a romantic partnership would have to offer to me, since I just don't see it appealing at all. I don't feel a need for a special someone and I dread the thought of being someone's special someone, especially if it comes with the idea that I "belong" to somebody.
Romantic relationship seems to make life itself a joint effort and that just doesn't sit well with me. I know I'm not completely self-sufficient: I need other people and I enjoy sharing my victories and losses with other people, indulging in rivalry with them, and cheering people on, but if life's a sport, I want my performance on the field to be a solo performance.
