Arachnophobics Recoil; Spider Storm in Brazil

[Agayek]

Do you suppose they have a spider leader, a spider god?

All glory to Lloth?

 

[Auron]

It look like I will need more than just an umbrella if I ever go to Brazil, anyone know where I can buy a hazmat suit?

It's actually an isolated incident in a very small town in the middle of nowhere.

There's a theory that spiders used to be bigger than humans. A legit theory, too. Heard it on the BBC news and everything.

Isn't that Skyrim?

 

[Ed130 The Vanguard]

It look like I will need more than just an umbrella if I ever go to Brazil, anyone know where I can buy a hazmat suit?

It's actually an isolated incident in a very small town in the middle of nowhere.

There's a theory that spiders used to be bigger than humans. A legit theory, too. Heard it on the BBC news and everything.

Isn't that Skyrim?

This was way back, before dinosaurs.

And the spiders were more like scorpions with shells and a tail. The pervading theory was that the armoured shells were like a spacesuit for them, enabling them to be one of the first species to colonize the land (which at that point was pretty hostile to life).

As for spider rain? I would love to see the webs they built to do that.

 

[cojo965]

... I .. found it somewhat cute and fascinating.

But at the same time, horrifying and very creepy.
Of course, luckily I don't live there with spiders hovering over my head.

Please. Is that supposed to be spider related scaryness?

<spoiler=NSFW>

Help...

Jesus now THAT scared me. I literally leaned back in my seat shocked.
Thank you for least having it in a spoiler bar.

It's from a Porno. To quote cracked

<quote=Cracekd>
For you arachnophiles, someone did make spider porn, and it's so much worse than the name suggests. Like maybe you just read the segment on panda porn and saw the pictures and thought, "Well, I feel bad inside, but it's not like I want to use steel wool on my brain and genitals." Hold that thought. As you can see, this is the worst thing that has ever happened to you. I'm sorry. Even a sweet pair of perky Sorens can't compensate for that mug. If your penis responds to this with anything other than a high-pitched shriek, like the sound from a boiling kettle, as it bids a full-on retreat into your abdomen, then you are dirty in the soul. Your spiritual self is made of the latent energy expelled when dinosaurs shat themselves to death eons ago.
The story in this cinematic gem is that our protagonist -- let's call him Russell -- is a foul-mouthed gentleman looking through boxes in an attic. He's dropping F-bombs and hates his job, near as I can figure. And he's being spied on by an awful, naked spider lady.
Spider lady creeps out and Russell runs in a panic, as anyone should, because fuck that. But when I say fuck that, I don't mean like "fuck" that. I just mean eew. He runs downstairs and there's a locked gate of some kind, and -- this isn't relevant, but I need you to know this -- there's a bulldog sitting on the other side of the gate staring at him. I like to think that someone brought it to the set that day because they like hanging out with their dog and thought the dog might enjoy watching a spider porn shoot. Later they went out for burgers.
One minute into the video and the spider lady is on Russell. He's screaming, he's panicking, and within about 10 seconds, he's enjoying the sweet sensations and an arachno-BJ. There's a solid 11 minutes left of this that unfold exactly like every porno you've ever seen, only awful. So awful. Then it ends with her killing him, I guess, so that's a bit different.


I'm still wondering how they managed to get good production values for a porno.

............... Wut.

............................ WUT.

.. I mean, yeah it should be "read" but basically to picture such a .. thing, *shutters*
What the crap man... lol. What makes it worse is looking for the right picture as a response to this, only to stumble into other very disturbing images along the way with the "what did I just see" keyword. God dang I stumbled into so much, I really need to place a safe guard on or something.

Oh god that face, it's just so perfect for your response, lol. (Koalas are cute, chicks with spider heads are not.)

 

[OneOfTheMichael's]

Sees the Spiders in closeup.

Look at the size of that thing!

Why it can't be much bigger than a wombrat...

 

[White Lightning]

It look like I will need more than just an umbrella if I ever go to Brazil, anyone know where I can buy a hazmat suit?

It's actually an isolated incident in a very small town in the middle of nowhere.

There's a theory that spiders used to be bigger than humans. A legit theory, too. Heard it on the BBC news and everything.

Isn't that Skyrim?

This was way back, before dinosaurs.

And the spiders were more like scorpions with shells and a tail. The pervading theory was that the armoured shells were like a spacesuit for them, enabling them to be one of the first species to colonize the land (which at that point was pretty hostile to life).

As for spider rain? I would love to see the webs they built to do that.

I'm calling bullshit, there is no way that's true. I wanna see some proof.

OT: Man that would be freaky to see, imagine just walking down the street not really paying attention to anything, noticing some shadows on the ground, and looking up to see that.

 

[Master_of_Oldskool]

Y'know, as a general rule, I quite like spiders. I think they're pretty neat creatures. They fascinate me.

But that... is too many fucking spiders. Like, way too many. Two or three at a time I'm cool with. That many? Past my limit, thanks.

I will not sleep this night.

 

[Ed130 The Vanguard]

It look like I will need more than just an umbrella if I ever go to Brazil, anyone know where I can buy a hazmat suit?

It's actually an isolated incident in a very small town in the middle of nowhere.

There's a theory that spiders used to be bigger than humans. A legit theory, too. Heard it on the BBC news and everything.

Isn't that Skyrim?

This was way back, before dinosaurs.

And the spiders were more like scorpions with shells and a tail. The pervading theory was that the armoured shells were like a spacesuit for them, enabling them to be one of the first species to colonize the land (which at that point was pretty hostile to life).

As for spider rain? I would love to see the webs they built to do that.

I'm calling bullshit, there is no way that's true. I wanna see some proof.

OT: Man that would be freaky to see, imagine just walking down the street not really paying attention to anything, noticing some shadows on the ground, and looking up to see that.

Ok.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7104421.stm

The species existed during a period in Earth history when oxygen levels in the atmosphere were much higher than today.


The fossil was locked in a siltstone
And it was those elevated levels, some palaeo-scientists believe, that may have helped drive the super-sized bodies of many of the invertebrates that existed at that time - monster millipedes, huge cockroaches, and jumbo dragonflies.

But Dr Braddy thinks the large scales may have had a lot to do with the absence early on of vertebrate predators. As they came on the scene, these animals would have eaten all the biggest prey specimens.

"The fact that you are big means you are more likely to be seen and to be taken for a tastier morsel," he told BBC News. "Evolution will not select for large size; you want to be small so you can hide away."

The scorpions are thought to have made their first scuttles on to land about 450 million years ago.

While some would have taken up a fully terrestrial existence, others like Jaekelopterus rhenaniae would have maintained an aquatic or semi-aquatic lifestyle.

I can't find the documentary about the shells being 'space suits' but I'll keep looking.

 

[Thaluikhain]

It look like I will need more than just an umbrella if I ever go to Brazil, anyone know where I can buy a hazmat suit?

It's actually an isolated incident in a very small town in the middle of nowhere.

There's a theory that spiders used to be bigger than humans. A legit theory, too. Heard it on the BBC news and everything.

Isn't that Skyrim?

This was way back, before dinosaurs.

And the spiders were more like scorpions with shells and a tail. The pervading theory was that the armoured shells were like a spacesuit for them, enabling them to be one of the first species to colonize the land (which at that point was pretty hostile to life).

As for spider rain? I would love to see the webs they built to do that.

I'm calling bullshit, there is no way that's true. I wanna see some proof.

Not spiders as we would recognise them, but giant arthropods of various kinds, yeah. I don't think the most spider like ones were bigger than people, but centipede like ones did exist that could rear up and look you in the face.

This was way back when the oxygen content was much higher, though, humans couldn't breathe unfiltered air for too long. Also, fires were really nasty, and so they wouldn't be covered in flammable hair. Hairless bugs are less scary for some reason.

 

[White Lightning]

It look like I will need more than just an umbrella if I ever go to Brazil, anyone know where I can buy a hazmat suit?

It's actually an isolated incident in a very small town in the middle of nowhere.

There's a theory that spiders used to be bigger than humans. A legit theory, too. Heard it on the BBC news and everything.

Isn't that Skyrim?

This was way back, before dinosaurs.

And the spiders were more like scorpions with shells and a tail. The pervading theory was that the armoured shells were like a spacesuit for them, enabling them to be one of the first species to colonize the land (which at that point was pretty hostile to life).

As for spider rain? I would love to see the webs they built to do that.

I'm calling bullshit, there is no way that's true. I wanna see some proof.

OT: Man that would be freaky to see, imagine just walking down the street not really paying attention to anything, noticing some shadows on the ground, and looking up to see that.

Ok.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7104421.stm

The species existed during a period in Earth history when oxygen levels in the atmosphere were much higher than today.


The fossil was locked in a siltstone
And it was those elevated levels, some palaeo-scientists believe, that may have helped drive the super-sized bodies of many of the invertebrates that existed at that time - monster millipedes, huge cockroaches, and jumbo dragonflies.

But Dr Braddy thinks the large scales may have had a lot to do with the absence early on of vertebrate predators. As they came on the scene, these animals would have eaten all the biggest prey specimens.

"The fact that you are big means you are more likely to be seen and to be taken for a tastier morsel," he told BBC News. "Evolution will not select for large size; you want to be small so you can hide away."

The scorpions are thought to have made their first scuttles on to land about 450 million years ago.

While some would have taken up a fully terrestrial existence, others like Jaekelopterus rhenaniae would have maintained an aquatic or semi-aquatic lifestyle.

I can't find the documentary about the shells being 'space suits' but I'll keep looking.

That's kinda lame, it's like a giant Lobster I was expecting something more... not a giant Lobster.

 

[Gottesstrafe]

Spiders are bad enough when they're confined to the ground. The day that spiders start flying around where I live is the day I build a bunker.

Spiders have always been airborne. How doe you think they get around so fast? They fashion themselves little silk parachutes and let the wind carry them all over the place. That's how they can get from one continent to the other across the ocean or colonize islands in the middle of the Pacific.

 

[CommanderL]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I am not scared of spiders I just dont like the creepy lil buggers I am never going to brazil ever

 

[Ed130 The Vanguard]

That's kinda lame, it's like a giant Lobster I was expecting something more... not a giant Lobster.

That's early life for you.

Here's a picture of a Spider Crab to cheer you up.

 

[Supertegwyn]

i assume that is a communal spider web in which case it's actually pretty rare amongst most spider species who usually have a tendency to just you know... eat each other
but as usual with any creepy animal phenomena that makes you want to crawl into a ball and die australia has it beat

That's from the floods. Some spiders were trying to get away from floodwaters so they nested up a tree. Not so much a communal spider web as a spider evacuation.

Still terrifying though.

 

[BlackStar42]

Clearly Brazil must be purged from the Earth with cleansing fire, it's the only way to be sure this horror doesn't pread.

 

[Username Redacted]

One more spider picture to help everyone sleep at night:

 

[Arakasi]

It's like The Birds... with spiders instead.

Just wait until birds notice that now their prey are all out in the open, free for the taking.

 

[The White Hunter]

Snip
It makes sense - the animals that were happy to have the venomous spiders on the shoulder tending to die from suspicious poisonings. The ones that were scared of them stayed away, had some babies and passed on the very sensible fear.

Yup, makes sense, although it's more likely that they taught their young and it's passed on that way. Though it does seem to exist in all captive Gorillas too...

And I like how you made the distinction of venomous over poisonous. Good man, have an internet +1

 

[xshadowscreamx]

THEY LOOK TOO ORGANIZED, we should be worried.