Are looks really *that* important?
- Thread starter FamoFunk
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^What he said.SimuLord said:
SimuLord hit the nail on the head. If a person is filthy and unkempt, of course most people will just turn their heads. If a girl/guy keeps their hair neatly trimmed and their body washed, then they'll get far in their love life.
Of course looks will matter to the vast majority of people in some form. They're what cause the initial attraction, but it's only when somebody sees them as the only attractive factor that said person can be called shallow.
The tired book cover analogy really fits perfectly.
The tired book cover analogy really fits perfectly.
I like to think about it in this way:
No one will ever INTENTIONALLY pursue a mate that they believe to be UGLY. Will you ever look at women in a bar/mall/workplace and think to yourself, "Wow, I think she's hideous...I'm going to go ask her out." No. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Some guys like stick women, some guys like curvy women, some guys like big women. There are those people that are generally regarded as good looking by general consensus. People like Johnny Depp and Jessica Alba. But then there are those people that some people consider attractive and most don't. I think Helena Bonham Carter is HOT. I am in the minority on this, but that's OK.
You should NEVER feel guilty about wanting to be with an attractive person. Because remember, it's all downhill from 25. The hotter someone is, the more likely they will stay good looking for longer as they reach their 60's and 70's.
What really matters MOST is that you pursue someone based on what you consider attractive for YOU. Don't look over someone because your friends say that the person isn't good looking. If you like the way that person looks, go for it. The shallowness only comes into play when you make your decisions based on what SOCIETY says is attractive or not.
No one will ever INTENTIONALLY pursue a mate that they believe to be UGLY. Will you ever look at women in a bar/mall/workplace and think to yourself, "Wow, I think she's hideous...I'm going to go ask her out." No. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Some guys like stick women, some guys like curvy women, some guys like big women. There are those people that are generally regarded as good looking by general consensus. People like Johnny Depp and Jessica Alba. But then there are those people that some people consider attractive and most don't. I think Helena Bonham Carter is HOT. I am in the minority on this, but that's OK.
You should NEVER feel guilty about wanting to be with an attractive person. Because remember, it's all downhill from 25. The hotter someone is, the more likely they will stay good looking for longer as they reach their 60's and 70's.
What really matters MOST is that you pursue someone based on what you consider attractive for YOU. Don't look over someone because your friends say that the person isn't good looking. If you like the way that person looks, go for it. The shallowness only comes into play when you make your decisions based on what SOCIETY says is attractive or not.
This man speaks the truth. I can think of several people who aren't exactly a shining example of human beauty, but they take care of themselves and that boosts their attractiveness considerably. Conversely I can think of a few examples of people who are equally as attractive but don't make an effort with their appearance and as such become less attractive.SimuLord said:
That goes for men and women. And while looks certainly help make a good first impression (and first impressions are important) they aren't necessarily a deal breaker. It depends what kind of relationship you have with that person and how well you get on otherwise.
I'm not TOO fussy about looks but I draw the line at grubby unwashed hands with ragged nails and nasty neglected teeth. Mind you guys get away with a lot more than women do. I'm attrected to intelligence and people who match my sense of humor, so I have to talk to people and weed through them more carefully and don't really take looks into as much account. I've dated men who could be models and men who could shatter a mirror.
For us gals, we get treated like we are unwanted when we hit the adult-looking stage and start "losing our looks" which is really horrible.
A funny thing I've noticed is that online you can almost tell who is good looking and who isn't because the less good looking people have had to work harder on developing their personalities to compensate and are nicer online, whereas really good looking people tend to havethis unwarrented sense of entitlement that they get from real life. Over the years of modding and opping I've noticed this trend.
For us gals, we get treated like we are unwanted when we hit the adult-looking stage and start "losing our looks" which is really horrible.
A funny thing I've noticed is that online you can almost tell who is good looking and who isn't because the less good looking people have had to work harder on developing their personalities to compensate and are nicer online, whereas really good looking people tend to havethis unwarrented sense of entitlement that they get from real life. Over the years of modding and opping I've noticed this trend.
Very base, but very funny. Looks matter with sexual attraction for the most part.
Technically if looks don't matter would you have sex with someone with no features at all?
Yes, if there is no physical attraction there, then I can't have a relationship with them. But what is stopping me from just being friends with them?
And no, that isn't shallow, looks are very important, on par with personality and other traits etc.
And no, that isn't shallow, looks are very important, on par with personality and other traits etc.
I don't think the question is that simple.FamoFunk said:
In some cases poor looks are a reflection on personality. For instance I won't give the time of day to anyone who doesn't care enough to eat right or exercise regularly. It doesn't matter if they're fat or skinny or anything in between, if they're lazy and uncaring I just don't want to have anything to do with them. I don't tolerate dumb people either. I've been told my standards are too high (especially because I'm no prize catch my self)
and my Captha is completely incomprehensible
Looks and personality count. In a romantic relationship, both are definitely needed. I have found that, although I have been chemically attracted to quite a few girls, there are very few who I would have actually considered a relationship with as they were either dim or not very nice.
So ultimately it comes down to finding someone who is good-looking enough to catch your attention, and with a good personality to keep your attention and make you happy.
So ultimately it comes down to finding someone who is good-looking enough to catch your attention, and with a good personality to keep your attention and make you happy.
I think that looks improve significantly whenever someone has a great personality to go with it. When I talk to 'beautiful' girls I feel no attraction whatsoever. But a cute girl that has a great personality I find myself immediately more attracted to her. When compared, the 'cute'd win it from the 'beautiful' anytime.