Are looks really *that* important?

[knhirt]

Yes, looks are *that* important.
Keep in mind that taste in women and men is quite subjective, so somebody you find smoking hot might not attract someone else half as much.
I've looked at pictures of girls my friends have gone on about in regards to physical appearance, and a lot of times I simply don't see what they do.
That being said, outwards appearance speaks volumes. Style and status of clothing/hair/face-paints. Physical features. Body language/posture. If somebody's looks don't click with me, I won't think sexually about them. If their looks repulse me completely, I will probably shy away from interacting with them altogether.
Looks are what allow us to sift through the teeming masses quickly and quite reliably to pick pleasing people to interact with. If your interests are compatible with mine and you can express yourself at great lengths about them in a way that interests me, and furthermore if you have the capability listen and provide commentary to my own ramblings, it won't matter at all in the end if we never speak.

Sometimes our initial judgement is wrong. The looks thing isn't foolproof. It's the best thing we have until our brains are cyber-magically augmented with instant built-in brain-scanning abilities.
Even then, though, looks will have weight in our final judgement of the people around us.

 

[LilGherkin]

I would say that looks are very important.

 

[FamoFunk]

Shallow?
Or is it the personality that shines through for you?

"Shallow? Or..." <-- That wasn't very nice.

What can I say about people who tag onto every scrap lovey-dovey, politically correct, socially sensitive idealistic garbage that gets chucked out by same-creed movies, games and books these days? I can say that their deepest waters tend to be quite well lit.

If the looks aren't up to par, I'm not interested.
If the personality isn't to my tastes, I'm not interested.

Most people are this way. Alarming that so few will admit to it- like it's somehow wrong. The *key* attractor for me? A short face, and pale skin (green eyes, red hair, etc etc...); I just can't stand women with long faces, no matter the personality.

Goddamnit, I replied and the internet cut off and lost it. I'll try again-ish

I'm far from PC, thanks.
But seriously you wouldn't talk to someone just because you think they're not up to par look wise, even though their peronality could be perfect in your eyes. Just because they're slightly not to your par?

(sorry, I wrote more, and better, but I cannot think of it all again.)

 

[ChildofGallifrey]

Looks are hardly the MOST important factor, but they are an important factor. Face it, whether or not a buck-toothed, cross-eyed hunchback is the nicest person you've ever met, you're still not likely to make a pass at them if they're fuck ugly. Yes, yes, beauty in the eye of the beholder and all that (which I'm sure has been stated dozens of times already), but there are some exceptions. I mean, can anyone look at Flava Flav and claim that he's a Herculean sex-god?

For a relationship to work, there must be physical attraction as well as attraction on a personal level. Unless you're filthy rich, then you could be so horribly ugly you make the Phantom of the Opera look like an Armani model, and you'd still have throngs of women throwing themselves at you.

 

[Thespian]

Looks are important, of course. Because physical appearance is another trait that can add to why you love someone. A look in their eyes, the way they smile, et cetera. Just like aspects of personality are important.

However, someone with a personality you love will probably start looking better. Still, I don't think the importance of looks should be underestimated, at all. But occasionally I have felt attracted to people who I previously claimed were ugly because I got to know them better. I was surprised myself.

 

[Candidus]

Goddamnit, I replied and the internet cut off and lost it. I'll try again-ish

I'm far from PC, thanks.
But seriously you wouldn't talk to someone just because you think they're not up to par look wise, even though their peronality could be perfect in your eyes. Just because they're slightly not to your par?

(sorry, I wrote more, and better, but I cannot think of it all again.)

'Sokay, happens to me too when I backspace on a line that has no text. It browses backwards and I lose whatever I was working on.

If someone isn't physically attractive to me then I'll avoid a relationship with them, yes. The reason being that I *want* what I find to be physically attractive to me. Everyone *wants* the people they find attractive.

It's one thing to ignore that if I already have someone I find attractive, but if I don't? Well, it'll never come up. I wouldn't put myself in a situation where I had to fight or repress a primary impulse, because those are all losing battles.

 

[2733]

as much as we would like to not admit it, we all judge people from the moment we see them, there is no shame in that, it's instinct. Our ancestors had to make a quick assessment on the usefulness or danger of anyone or anything they met, failing to do so meant death. the important part is not if we make a a quick shallow judgement, but if we let that first impression affect our decisions.

 

[Cheesebob]

Looks are quite possibly the most important thing in a relationship (at the start anyway).

Think about it, you wouldn't go up and talk to someone, no matter how amazing their personality is, if you didn't find them physically attractive.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

It does matter, at least initially. Even in non-romantic interactions in can really affect how you are treated, especially by us men. But then, everyone has different opinions on what is attractive. Hell, I actually have two separate ones myself ('cute' vs 'hot').

 

[Sebenko]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Case in point, my boyfriend and me. I was chatting with a friend today who though I was better looking than my boyfriend, while I think the opposite is true.

I blame it on the beard. No one likes his beard.

And what most people would find attractive in girls, I find resoundingly meh, and really like geeky girls.

To a certain extent it is, but looks are subjective.

 

[HyenaThePirate]

Short answer: Yes.
Long answer: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees.

Regardless of what people will try to "claim" in order to give the appearance of being anything MORE than superficial and shallow (to normal human behaviors), looks matter to just about everyone, ESPECIALLY during introductions. This doesn't mean that over TIME you can't learn to develop feelings for someone who doesn't strike your immediate "aesthetically pleasing" cues, but the problem is that 99% of people out there look with their eyes LONG before they see with their heart.

Anyone who says otherwise is a liar. Even unattractive people are attracted by looks to others first.

Personally I think I'm one of the most interesting, romantic, awesome guys a gal or guy would ever be lucky enough to be graced with falling for.
The problem is, no one ELSE thinks that, which explains why I'm always single.

You just learn to deal with it. It doesn't get any easier, and we don't get any un-uglier with time.
Eventually with some luck and a little time, someone somewhere will find you acceptable enough to settle upon.

 

[Flamezdudes]

Both looks and personality for me, i'm not shallow enough to go only for looks. The girl has to actually be interesting and intelligent somewhat.

 

[HyenaThePirate]

Personally I think I'm one of the most interesting, romantic, awesome guys a gal or guy would ever be lucky enough to be graced with falling for.
The problem is, no one ELSE thinks that, which explains why I'm always single.

Could be that ego you've got going on either.

Kidding.

Haha! The irony is, everyone always says that confidence and arrogance are turn ons for girls (Ahem.. if you've ever read any of those "How to pick up chicks" books. I've glanced a few in passing at the Dentist's office, so thats how I know what they say.. :S)

But its all good. Most women I've met are pretty vapid, so they wouldn't be able to handle a real love like mine anyway.

 

[Continuity]

...

Beautiful people are only interested in other beautiful people, one of the facts of life from what I've seen. Then you have the middle leaguers, these are much more random, then you have the unfortunate people who are conventionally unattractive... they just take what they can get which isn't usually much.

And thus it is.

 

[rutger5000]

I think people judge other people by the way they present themselves. They always have done so, and I think they always will. Yes appearances can be a huge factor in the way you present yourself, but they are not necessary. Looks are not nearly as important as positive body language and the first few sentences spoken. Stand/sit up straight, keep a good personal hygiene be aware of your environment and use your hands to help express yourself (but not too much) and any bad looks will become insignificant.
Owh you were speaking about personality? No, of course that doesn't outweigh bad looks. Only a small fraction of humanity can actually recognize a good personality at first glance. So yeah looks are going to be a deciding factor over personality (but far below social skills) when meeting new people / applying for a job / getting a date (not with a friend)
As a reaction to all the people who claim or hint to be ugly. Social classes are childish and you deserve to be in a low one if you stick to it. Beautiful or ugly persons are (based on attitude and social skills) in the same social class. This only changes when one of the two thinks otherwise which will instantly drop him/her to the social class of losers.

 

[Verlander]

Looks are very important to me. Not just natural beauty, because everyone has that to some extent. How someone holds themselves, and how someone presents themselves, and a persons body language are far more telling than conversation, the first time you meet them. That's what they look for in interviews, and that's what I look for in a partner.

Or, to put it another way, she could be naturally "playboy bunny" material physically, but with a slouch, and a sneer, and a lack of effort in how she presents herself, she's still gonna get a "no thank you".

 

[ApeShapeDeity]

I have to say that looks are important. Even if you don't think they are. It's a subconcious mechanism. It's thought to be based in the genetics of making strong matches.

For example, people with more symmetrical faces are judged to be more attractive, more attractive people are pre-judged to have higher efficacy, and be of a higher socio-economic standing. All of which are things people tend to want in thier partnering choices.

So, like it or not it's there. You can deny it, you can fight against it, you can seek to rise above it, but it's there.

BTW, I'm not saying you can't get past it, or that inherently natural is a form of 'good', just that it's the natural genetic order of things.

 

[rutger5000]

Looks are very important to me. Not just natural beauty, because everyone has that to some extent. How someone holds themselves, and how someone presents themselves, and a persons body language are far more telling than conversation, the first time you meet them. That's what they look for in interviews, and that's what I look for in a partner.

Or, to put it another way, she could be naturally "playboy bunny" material physically, but with a slouch, and a sneer, and a lack of effort in how she presents herself, she's still gonna get a "no thank you".

You've written the best comment on this thread that I've seen (except for mine of course those are always the best, because I happen to be the most intelligent and wise person in existence.)