Are looks really *that* important?

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

Personality clenches it but looks are what makes the initial attraction, well for me that is. If she's not good looking and is canny then she's a friend, if she's good looking and canny, she's more. It's not limited to that but that is my general rule.

And no, I don't think it's shallow for me to want a good looking girlfriend, I think it's perfectly acceptable to aim high.

 

[Gibboniser]

I look after my body and my appearance, I expect nothing less of her, doesn't mean she has to be especially attractive though.

 

[babinro]

I don't consider appearance to be important at all. It'll certainly grab my attention if someone is good looking to me but its someones personality that matters in the end.

This comes from a guy who is not particularly good looking though. I very seldom see a good looking male in a serious relationship with an ugly looking female.

 

[Dieter Meyer]

I'm just gonna say it straight out that I'm a pretty shallow person, I judge people after just having a fast glance at them.
However, my "judging people by their looks" have usually proven to be right, with a few exceptions.

I care about how I look, and I do care about my "image" - aka I dont want to be seen with some people who's looks are dreadful. In the worst case I'd tell them to shape up, tbh...

Dont get me wrong... Ofcourse the people need to have a good personality aswell!

I guess that is why my circle of friends is limited to around 10 people.
It just comes with my nature to be extremely picky :<

 

[Dfskelleton]

Yes, actually they are usually in relationshipps. Relationships should be emotional, but there has to be at least some physical attraction for it to work.
In just normal terms, it's not really really nessecary, but it feels good to look good. It's just like TV and video games and fun parks: are they really that important? No. Does it make you happy? It does to me.

 

[GaryH]

Looks are vital. But so is personality. Why do people always think that you have to have one or the other?

Personality is slightly weighted over looks to me, but I wouldn't settle for a negative extreme of either.

 

[Wade-DeadPool]

Personality is lovely, but it isn't what gets me erect.

First of... That is just amazing.. and true.

But I would say that personality is 80-90% to me. But I also want somebody that looks good.
But yeah.. looks are not all.. I need somebody to talk to, not somebody to look at like some silly trophy wife/girlfriend.

 

[GeorgW]

For me personality and intelligence is the most important, but they have to be above a certain level of attractiveness for it to go beyond friendship.

 

[Iwana Humpalot]

Looks matter more when you meet a person first time and make first impression, later on it's the personality that matters more. This doesn't mean both extremes ofc.
I personally don't care much how my friends look like, but the one i'm dating should be somewhat possible to find attractive/cute, but in the end; it comes to personality.

 

[similar.squirrel]

Hooooo yes. But very few people are actually ugly, so it's okay.

 

[Red Albatross]

Looks are damn important in driving connections with other people, and they're important in a relationship as well. Even friendships, in certain cases. People who say looks don't matter are just trying to overlook or apologize for human nature. Even when it's a subconscious process, we judge other people on their looks all the time.

Fortunately, attractiveness is partially subjective.

 

[Caligulove]

At first, yes. I think so.

Though, the longer and longer you're with someone and the more and more you love them, it's not JUST because you find them to be the hottest piece of ass around but it's because you genuinely love and appreciate their company. But that initial physical attraction is usually what starts off that great spark. Doesn't mean that anyone that doesn't look like a movie star has no chance- it's just that physical appearances do matter to a degree, to give someone a look at, which ultimately helps to make them want to spend time with you.

I'm sure if I was married to a woman for 30+ years, I don't think that I would say that my wife is the most beautiful/attractive/hottest woman that I can think of- she looks astounding, but looks don't matter anymore because I love her. There will always be younger people making you look less attractive by comparison, but a good relationship doesn't stay together on looks- but it can start with it

 

[SeriousIssues]

...yes. They do.


But it comes down to personality for anything further.

 

[Shackels]

(is posting something, that's weird.)
I met a girl that I first I couldn't figure out why everyone thought she was so good looking, she didn't seem all that special to me.
Then we started talking and suddenly she became 100% more attractive. It was uncanny. One day she didn't look all that good and the next she looked like a supermodel to me. I guess it's the personality that decides how attractive you really are.

 

[escapistraptor]

I don't know, I'm married to someone I'm not that physically attracted to.

 

[BleedingPride]

looks and personality are just as important as each other, kinda like how romance and sex are both equally important

 

[squid5580]

Well, it's the first impression which usually decides whether you want to walk up to them and start talking. I've never heard of anybody who didn't like the look of somebody but went and started talking to them anyway...
Good thing not everybody has the same image of what looks good.

I actually had a school project on identity which involved something like this. I said the same thing, but I think I could have phrased it better so my teacher wouldn't think I'm a shallow...can't think of a good word here. >.<

Oh, so I don't make the same mistake I did then, looks aren't everything. Your manner, how you move, what you sound like, and all manner of other things are important.

You forgot the internet. MMOs, chatrooms ect you can talk to someone and develop a attraction to them long before you ever know what they look like

 

[Doctor Glocktor]

Inner beauty only gets you so far if you look like Jabba the Hut.

Looks are pretty important and make the largest impression.

 

[WingedIncubus]

[quote="Spot1990" post="18.265544.10098268Haha! The irony is, everyone always says that confidence and arrogance are turn ons for girls (Ahem.. if you've ever read any of those "How to pick up chicks" books. I've glanced a few in passing at the Dentist's office, so thats how I know what they say.. :S)

But its all good. Most women I've met are pretty vapid, so they wouldn't be able to handle a real love like mine anyway.

Yes, showing confidence, swagger and being teasing with a little bit of cocky are indeed turn-ons. Being overconfident, boasting and acting like a bragging jerk is not, unless you make it very evident that you don't take yourself seriously and you are capable of self-derision.

The point is, are you fun to be around with? Do you think women have fun around a bragging, self-centered prick of man? Not really, and women don't sleep with guys they find annoying.