Are looks really *that* important?

[MisterGobbles]

To be perfectly honest, I'm not attracted to supermodel chicks. There's just something about them.

But I'm not one for perfectly ugly people either. If I consider them to be relatively cute with a good personality, then I might be attracted to them.

But Jesus, I dated a chick that was relatively good looking, and she was the dumbest thing I've ever met. Personality is the one thing that keeps a relationship going, looks are important but they don't break the deal most of the time.

 

[cthulhumythos]

Shallow?
Or is it the personality that shines through for you?

I know looks matter a bit, I guess it's what could grab your attention to someone.
But don't you ever get that thing where someone doesn't really attract you until they start talking, realise you have a lot in common, or just something about them makes you see them in a different light and you think "Woah"?

Are people these days really that bad they will judge someone by their looks before giving the person in question a chance?

everyone's shallow. don't go adopting a holier than thou persona.

personality is important, but looks are as well. if you're hideous, i doubt i'd want you no matter what. same thing goes for person, really really shallow/annoying people are unattractive as well.

 

[Superasil]

Of course, looks are the first thing i see, but i prefer to hold judgment till i actually have a discussion with them, see if they are kind, intelligent, and have a good personalized, that's what's important for me, looks are only a small part.

But i do agree with the part of people saying "Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder".

 

[Zaik]

Needs both. I wouldn't have anything to do with someone who lacked either, not just because I feel I deserve it, but because I don't need a relationship at all so anyone who would want to pursue one with me would need to be worth the trouble I wouldn't have to deal with if I was single. Which is almost always quite a bit.


Also ugly people typically have terrible personalities as well, but a well practiced front. Most people are "ugly" because they haven't bothered to put in the effort involved to not be ugly. That very rarely stops at the looks. "Has a good personality", is basically just sugar coating to make everyone feel like they're special somehow when they really aren't.

 

[Nouw]

To be frank, if she's not attractive I doubt I'll like her. Becoming friends is likely but that's as far as it's going to go. Having said that, I'm not generally picky as one being attractive is subjective >.>

Looks aren't everything but they are damn important.

 

[FamoFunk]

Shallow?
Or is it the personality that shines through for you?

I know looks matter a bit, I guess it's what could grab your attention to someone.
But don't you ever get that thing where someone doesn't really attract you until they start talking, realise you have a lot in common, or just something about them makes you see them in a different light and you think "Woah"?

Are people these days really that bad they will judge someone by their looks before giving the person in question a chance?

everyone's shallow. don't go adopting a holier than thou persona.

personality is important, but looks are as well. if you're hideous, i doubt i'd want you no matter what. same thing goes for person, really really shallow/annoying people are unattractive as well.

I'm not :/ but just because someone doesn't take my eye straight away, doesn't mean I will not talk to them. I will, and someone I didn't find attractive then become attractive because of their personality.

I do think some people really were hit with the ugly stick and I will try to, sadly, avoid them, don't worry. But I don't just ignore/not talk to someone just because I didn't think "Woah, you're hot" straight away.

 

[Monkfish Acc.]

They aren't everything. But they are pretty important.
Being attractive will make people trust you more. They'll be more willing to do you favours, or tell you sensitive information. This holds true regardless of what gender the person you are talking to prefers.

As for attracting a romantic partner, they do play a part. I mean, you have to find someone physically appealing in some way to want to have sex with them, which is ostensibly what most relationships are based around.
That doesn't mean you have to be DROP DEAD GORGEOUS to attract a partner, just not a hideous slob. Even if you have a melty face and an ass the size of a small car, having nice hair or pretty clothes or something will earn you someone's attention.

That said, an attractive coward will always be seen as a coward. An attractive idiot will always be seen as an idiot. People tend to ignore these traits if they are looking for something to bump genitals with, but that lovely pretty people trust boost goes straight out the window.
Even features will only do so much for you. They can't magically make you not an annoying jackass.

 

[Plurralbles]

I am incredibly shallow. I just started dating this girl and she is fat. I dont' know how long it'll last. I'm hoping I can at least grow as a person from it, figure out what exactly is attracting me to her in the first place, and move onto a girl that is much cuter in a month or so.

 

[thedeathscythe]

The first thing we see when we look at someone is their appearance, so yeah, I don't "judge" a person by their looks, but if I'm going to date someone, I want to date someone I'm attracted to. I want them to have a personality as well, but call me shallow if you like, I don't date girls that have a personality but don't have the looks to back it up. I only have one life, and I can choose who I want to date and what criteria to use. I just have to be attracted to a girl I date, that's all.

 

[cthulhumythos]

Shallow?
Or is it the personality that shines through for you?

I know looks matter a bit, I guess it's what could grab your attention to someone.
But don't you ever get that thing where someone doesn't really attract you until they start talking, realise you have a lot in common, or just something about them makes you see them in a different light and you think "Woah"?

Are people these days really that bad they will judge someone by their looks before giving the person in question a chance?

everyone's shallow. don't go adopting a holier than thou persona.

personality is important, but looks are as well. if you're hideous, i doubt i'd want you no matter what. same thing goes for person, really really shallow/annoying people are unattractive as well.

I'm not :/ but just because someone doesn't take my eye straight away, doesn't mean I will not talk to them. I will, and someone I didn't find attractive then become attractive because of their personality.

I do think some people really were hit with the ugly stick and I will try to, sadly, avoid them, don't worry. But I don't just ignore/not talk to someone just because I didn't think "Woah, you're hot" straight away.

neither do i. honestly, romance is not my forte; if i'm talking to a stranger, chances are it's no more than idle conversation. but for a relationship, i think looks help start it, and personality gets you the rest of the way.

 

[ToMuchAtOnce]

Yes they are important, especially in a relationship. My girlfriend for example can look great but at other times not so great, it doesn't bother me too much though because so far I haven't met anyone that fits my personality as well as she does. Basically yes they are, but I'd take an average girl over an above average girl, if the average girl had the better personality.

 

[WingedIncubus]

Yes, they are. And it's fine that way. No, I am not obligated to sleep with that fugly girl because she has a nice "personality", and teen high school bombs aren't obligated to sleep with the scrawny little nerd because he is smart. If you don't like what you see, no reason to put up with it, especially if he or she shows no willingness to improve themselves.

People accusing others of being shallow are usually just too lazy to work on their looks themselves, which can be done, and instead put the blame on us so that we accept them "as they are". Sorry pal, no can do, the problem isn't me, it's you.

 

[Flare Phoenix]

Looks help you get a relationship; personality helps you keep a relationship.

 

[WingedIncubus]

I wish they weren't, but they are. Yes, I'm shallow. Everyone is, I just have the balls to admit it. Looks are what grab your attention and get you interested. Of course, in order to sustain that interest, they have to have an interesting personality.

I'm so baffled by the fact that people admit that they are, but immediately defend themselves by saying "but it shouldn't". Yes, it should. People are naturally drawn to things and people that look attractive, it is the nature of things.

The plus is, in our day and age with enough time, energy, and money, appearance and looks can be worked upon - and improved. For guys, just hitting the gym for 2-3 years, dressing smart and trendy, and stopping acting like a retarded social buffoon can do wonders to induce attraction. The real "burden" of the "tyranny of appearance" is really on women, not only towards men but other women as well.

 

[Candidus]

Shallow?
Or is it the personality that shines through for you?

"Shallow? Or..." <-- That wasn't very nice.

What can I say about people who tag onto every scrap lovey-dovey, politically correct, socially sensitive idealistic garbage that gets chucked out by same-creed movies, games and books these days? I can say that their deepest waters tend to be quite well lit.

If the looks aren't up to par, I'm not interested.
If the personality isn't to my tastes, I'm not interested.

Most people are this way. Alarming that so few will admit to it- like it's somehow wrong. The *key* attractor for me? A short face, and pale skin (green eyes, red hair, etc etc...); I just can't stand women with long faces, no matter the personality.

 

[Flare Phoenix]

Look at Twilight. The only reason that shit is popular is because Edward is described as extremely attractive, but if you actually read the books he has the personality of a brick. But girls eat those books up... Why? Because they want the fantasy that they can be with someone attractive.