Are people too hard on smokers?

[MartialArc]

I was recently reading a thread that asked the question: "what are your deal breakers?" I noticed there was a very large amount of people who claimed smoking was an instant deal breaker, no matter the person, some even going as far as saying they would not even befriend someone who was a smoker.

Now I don't smoke myself, but am I the only person who thinks people are way too harsh on smokers? I find it shocking that so many people are willing to shun someone over one habbit. It seems to me smokers are one of the relatively few groups people are willing to openly hate.

What are your thoughts on the topic?

No, its not too harsh. Smoking is a habit that impacts others. Smokers smell, all the time. Their homes smell, all the time. And they taste like ashtrays when you go to kiss them. I've tried dating them, its unpleasant.

So is it okay to treat someone who wears too much cologne all the time that harsh?

and I suppose eats too many onions or something for the taste hahah

People DO hate on and avoid folks that wear too much cologne, or have awful breath, or that don't shower. Go eat a few sprigs of garlic and try to spark up a conversation with some stranger, see what happens.

If you smell unpleasant it changes how people react to you. Doesn't much matter how you arrive there.

Point taken. Its nice to see someone put it bluntly that they are unpleasant to be around, as opposed to judging them on their decision making ability.

I ride a motorcycle, I skydive and go white water rafting. My right to judge others judgment went out the window so long ago XD. If you really get enjoyment from it and are at peace with the consequences, go for it.

But yeah, its not like all smokers smell either. I dated a girl that smoked once, I honestly didn't know she smoked when I met her. Chewed lots of gum and always washed her hands after she said. Her choice of cigarette might be a factor too?

In any case, if you can manage to keep yourself from smelling like an ashtray and make reasonable effort not to smoke where it will bother others then nobody really has a right to judge IMO.

 

[Vault101]

well I feel sorry for them

I get the impression its only a matter of time before they outright ban it here in aus

 

[Tim Cr810]

As someone who's only recently stopped smoking I can say that people who are hard on smokers are dillholes
yes it's a disgusting habit I get that but ragging on me isn't goign to make me stop. it's only going to make me call you a dillhole and blow smoke in your face for being a dillhole

 

[Lenin211]

Smoking is an obvious sign that the person either does not care about their health, or is too stupid to realize that it is harmful. I can see how it would be an instant deal breaker for some people.

 

[Tim Cr810]

I would spit on the ground, put it out in the spit (quicker than just tapping it against the ground) then toss it in a trash bin

 

[Tarmon'gaidin]

Well alot of my friends are smokers but for me smoking is in fact a dealbreaker I just can't stand the smell so I won't even consider lying in bed next to someone who smokes.

And apart from the smell it's the same problem as drugs or (too much) alcohol, just a waste of money and time.

 

[cthulhumythos]

they're not hated on enough in my opinion. but i'm a irritable person, so when ever someone starts puffing a cigarette, i feel the need to beat them to death with a cane.

luckily, i stopped bringing my cane everywhere so problem solved.

 

[Cheesus333]

I have no problem with people smoking. I have a problem with people blowing that shit in my face and expecting me to be fine and dandy with it.

A few... maybe even a lot of my friends smoke. I don't care because they're pleasant about it. They're polite and respect my wish to have a smoke-free personal bubble, and I admire that. Someone I used to be friends with seemed to think I was looking down on her for it, but as far as I can tell that was just her being insecure. I don't miss her.

It would probably be a bit of a bigger problem in a relationship though, because accepting intimacy with someone means accepting all their little traits and habits, smoking included.

 

[Sam Ronin]

From a relationship or even friendship standpoint I think it is more about all the side issues related to smoking.

Besides the whole mouth tasting like an ashtray when you kiss. The smell that lingers on clothing and skin alike.
In a smoking household the actual smoke permeates and infests the house itself. Go to a hotel for instance and ask for a smoking room if you can. It is impossible to get rid of the smell without ripping out everything even slightly porous. Right back to brickwork and replace the lot. That gets expensive over time. Not to mention the tarry yellow/brown staining that appears around the ceiling in any area like that.
Also from a bisexual/gay/female standpoint. Smoking has a negative effect on the way a guy tastes, or a certain something from the guy...(Yes I do know this from first hand experience.) Which can make love making somewhat off putting even if they dont smoke around the bedroom.

As far as friendship wise I guess it depends what they have encountered with other smokers. My younger sister smokes roll ups and although she claims to not smoke much, any time I am around her she is chain smoking. Always. So I end up avoiding her because as others said it does hurt the eyes, nose and lead to me coughing etc just being near her.

A few years back I spent one week working at a courier firm(3/4 employees) where they openly smoked everywhere and as a non smoker was dumped near a window and told to make do. A better job offer came up and I took it. I was coughing and spluttering for the best part of a month after from passive inhalation during that week there. I didn't make a fuss about them smoking, but the effect of just being in a fairly large office with them was obvious.

So I have had relationships with people who smoked before, but as a preference I much rather find someone who didn't smoke. But I notch that up alongside people who dont drink heavily or abuse substances etc. I've seen the bad sides of each of those and I would try to avoid them where possible. Not because I am morally "better", just because it hurts going through those bad times or seeing someone suffer through those.

As to percieved hatred directed purely at smokers. There has been a steady push for many years now to try and curb smoking in general. As there is towards binge drinking etc. I recall way way back. Gamesmaster TV show and tie in magazine. This was possibly the earliest gaming TV show in the UK with a badly digitally augmented Patrick Moore as the Gamesmaster. And the tie in magazine to that had anti smoking adverts. Picture of a cute girl and an ashtray. Kiss me, kiss my. I think was the message. Its just lately with public smoking bans spreading, that it has become more popular to seemingly want to "help" the smokers quit. Forgetting that the first rule of that is the person must want to quit, not be badgered into it. All someone bothering you on a bus stop does is make you want to hunker down and ignore them in order to wind them up.
Although I do get annoyed by smokers who blatantly ignore banned areas like enclosed bus stops and just sit there puffing away. Show some respect and I will ignore you and your habit/weakness. Force it on me in places where you should not be smoking and I will get angry.

 

[Broady Brio]

Yes. Especially since I used to give smokers a lot of shit because they did.

I realise while doing stuff to their lungs and breath, that most of them DO NOT WANT to quit and we should leave them be.

As long as they don't blow smoke in my face, I've accepted that people smoke for their own reasons and should be left alone.

 

[Ironic Pirate]

Smokers are too hard on smokers.

Aside from that, no. Smoking cigarettes is smelly, harmful, and will ruin your teeth. If I don't want to date someone who is slowly killing themselves (and me) while also stinking up the place and and slowly giving them Orc teeth, then that's entirely my business.

If you smoke, I have nothing against you. I just don't want to put anything of mine near your mouth, which I understand is an important part of a relationship.

 

[Soods]

I'm an elitist about smoking. Everytime someone lights a ciqarette near me, it's like he'd say "I will harm you, even if it costs me my money and my health!" or "I will harm you, because I'm too weak to quit!". And I don't like being harmed !

It's a habit that costs money, time and health while giving nothing in return (unless you enjoy harming people around you). Luckily the natural selection should rid mankind of such self-destructive people sooner or later.

If you thought that was too harsh, then I am very, very sorry.

 

[Jazzeki]

honestly no but then i'm in the group that says that. i'd give them a chance but being a smoker sets you in very bad light with me. simply because i have undeniable proof that at least once in their life they made one of the dumbest decisions possibel. and further i would then have to either be withsomeone smoking(witch i hate beyond logic i admit) or find them to leave at random intervals to go smoke ending or postponing the conversation we are haveing. it's just anoying generally for me and unless a person have some other charecteristics that greatly overshadows this anoyance then honestly fuck them.

 

[Eternal_Lament]

I do think people are often too hard on smokers. Even if I don't smoke, my co-workers smoke and I still like working with them. My mom also smokes and I don't hold it against her in any way. Now, would I prefer they didn't smoke? Sure, from a health reason I'd prefer if they didn't smoke, but thats something they should choose themselves.

That all said, a girl that smokes would be a deal-breaker for me if she smokes every day. If she smokes say two or three times a week I can live with that for a while, hopefully she would evantually quit if she doesn't smoke alot already. However if it was every day I think the smell and taste would evantually get to me, not to say I think she would be awful because of that one point, but if I am always that uncomfortable when around her then should I bother to see her anymore?

There have been smokers that pissed me off in high-school because of their habit, mostly by blowing smoke in my face on purpose, but I don't hold their douchey actions against all other smokers.

 

[Insideout Ink Demon]

i do think they're a public scape goat for lashing out some random hate acceptable fashion.

i'm an ex smoker (who does have the occasional slip when drunk) n i think its a smelly, expensive (here in the uk atleast) habit.
it's also very addictive, its enjoyable for those who do it. although they shouldnt expect to make everyone else suffer. i think smoking and non smoking bars etc would be better than an outright ban, but keep an outright ban on family areas where children would have to inhale the passive smoke.

there is a guy in my work who has gon on to electris cigs that blow out steam, in an attempt to quit. someone here put in a complaint against him. i think thats hate for the sake of hate, poor guys trying to kick a habbit

 

[HardkorSB]

So is it okay to treat someone who wears too much cologne all the time that harsh?

Umm, yes. It's perfectly OK if the smell makes it hard for you to be around that person.

As for the topic, it seems that a lot of people don't really realize what cigarettes do to you. Even after watching ads, seeing pictures of lungs after smoking, hearing about the deaths of so many people, they still don't get it.

It's not propaganda, it's reality.
My mother used to smoke all the time when I was younger. However, about 8 years back, she had a serious asthma attack (due to smoking cigarettes, of course) and had to spend 2 weeks in a coma.
Luckily, she got over it.
That wasn't the case for one of my friends. He got lung cancer because his parents were smoking in the house in his presence all the time. He died about 5 years ago.

All this bullshit about "overreacting to smokers" comes from the fact that most of you haven't seen the effects it can have on people first hand. You can read about it and watch all the documentaries you want but until you'll see a person dear to you dying because of it, you won't get it (or so it seems, judging from the comments).

And yes, the smell is really bad.

 

[Brandon237]

No, because people care about the people they love.

Also, second hand smoking and stink.

/thread

This, and it sounds harsh, but I absolutely cannot stand the smell of smoke, It makes my eyes water and I don't feel s good, my girlfriend goes into a coughing fit if she is near it, and outdoors, in a tunnel-like area with little moving air is not really an improvement on indoors, as I would have liked to say to many a smoker who stood in such locations making me feel sick for 20 meters.

I wouldn't date a smoker and would do my best to convince any friend who did it to stop.

And it affects whole families, I know, people in my family smoke, it is horrible, and after ten years of it, the effects show themselves painfully. It causes suffering for everyone else too. Not fair.

 

[Levethian]

consider that the exhaust fumes from cars and burnt petrol is at least 10 times as toxic/poisonous/damaging to you than 2nd hand smoke, those that live in the city are effectively surrounded by such fumes and breathing them in on near constant basis, and there are far more car users around then there are smokers

Quick google; Wikianswers.

"A cigeratte in one puff can produce around 351 parts per million in particular matter. That is about 7 times more than a car from 1999. In a more recent study a 2 liter diesel car was left idling (engine on wheels not turning) for a half hour, it took 3 cigarettes three minutes to achieve the same levels of pollution."
[small](Not sure why they didn't say '1 cigarette nine minutes'. Who smokes 3 at a time?)[/small]

I think this is the recent study referred to:
http://www.webmd.com/lung/news/20040823/smoking-worse-than-exhaust-for-air-pollution


It shouldn't be an absolute 'deal breaker', but smoking is crappy for everyone and they shouldn't be given an easy time. 1st, 2nd and 3rd hand smoke kills.

It's not okay just because it's a drug-addiction routed into our culture.
Some would say that driving is necessary.