Asking a girl's dad for permission to go out with his daughter

[StriderShinryu]

Before marriage is a slightly archaic but not a bad tradition by any means. Seems a little odd to do it before dating though.. but it's been a long time since I've been at that young dating age.

Honestly, I don't know that you can genuinely know you love someone before you've even been out with them but if I felt the girl was worth it, of course I would do it. Some families are traditional that way and, assuming your relationship did go anywhere with the girl moving forward, it's a pretty stupid idea to piss dad off right out of the gate.

 

[Mondai Randy]

I would do it , but I would be thinking "this seems a little weird, but oh well"

 

[Please Ban Me I Have No Desire to Be Here]

So because I hold open a door for a woman or pull her chair out for her I'm sexist?

If you do it because she is a woman then it is certainly discriminatory and therefore sexist. Not hard, simple matter of definitions.


By book definition fine I very well may be but I view sexism as men whos demeaning view on woman actual hinders them not men who were simply raised to treat women (good women) with respect if you don't fine I can't tell you how to waste your time.

Your the type of person who would publicly go up to me and get in my face for holding open a door for a girl

No, I'm not for several reasons. First off, it's an out of proportion response. Secondly, it's not my job to go around telling people they're wrong on minor matters, if the girl dislikes it enough to warrant anything being said she could tell you herself. Thirdly, it isn't necessarily sexist because I do not know if that is how you treat everyone.

So tell me, did your parents teach you that a 'gentleman' is supposed to lie about others like that? Or is dishonesty something you picked up yourself? It sure makes you a shining example of courtesy and respect, lacking all integrity like that.

I love how you said its not your job to go around telling people there wrong on minor matters and yet before I came along I saw many posts by you complaining and throwing around the sexist insult on this thread and this matter is very minor so dishonesty isn't a word I would throw around if I were you. As for me lying assuming something about you to you directly isn't lying its making a educated guess as to what you would do based on your posts.

did it ever cross your PC mind that it might be a courtesy, nothing more?

You're replying to something you made up for me? That's kinda dumb. Did it ever cross your sexist and dishonorable mind that I never said that kind of thing?

again a statement based on an assumption based on an educated guess Im well aware you never said it directly

Of course not

Except that it did. Why do you consider lying to be something you have to do?

Why do you not know anything about lying?

well let me break it down for you

Go on, let's see you admit you're being sexist implicitly then deny the obvious implications.

I love how you assume the big words make you appear intelligent when really all they do is polish your flawed statements.

when I hold a door open a door for a girl its me doing nothing more than being respectful, I was raised to believe that woman and my elders were to be respected in this manner

Okay, so you were raised poorly. Namely, you were raised to be sexist. If you're not treating everyone the same way for such things then you're being sexist. Thinking that different standards of respect are called for is simply sexism. Not hard. Discrimination -> sexism.

Im sorry my harmless gestures of kindness offend you

its not meant to imply that the girl is weak or feeble

I don't care what it is meant to imply, treating them differently based on gender when it isn't warranted by any difference in ability is sexist.

Wow you care more than most woman not sure why

Im full aware she can open the damn door herself

Which is why it is quite unjustified to treat her any differently than you would a guy.

It doesn't have to be justified when its done in kindness and does no harm to anyone.

same goes for say protecting her in a fight

Ganging up with someone in a fight is good because they're right or are in trouble, not because of their gender. Doing it because of their gender is sexist.

I'd likely do the same for a friend as well I just feel a little extra fueled to protect my girlfriend again not hurting her its actually making her 50% more likely to not be hurt because she has someone backing her up.

am I saying my girl cant kick some ass no

Good thing I never said you said it.

Never once said that you did say it I was answering a possible question read a bit more carefully next time

in fact I've seen her do it BUT I dont want to see her get hurt out of love I'd do the same thing for say my child.

Not wanting to see someone get hurt out of love isn't sexist. But in that case it should have jack shit to do with their gender. Congratulations on bringing up a scenario I never spoke about. Was that a genuine mistake or was it you just showing off how a gentleman should lack integrity?

Their gender plays a lot into it for me because Im straight therefore if she wasn't a girl I probably wouldnt be in love with her and not want her to get hurt and coming up with a hypothetical scenario regardless of whether it was mentioned before is a way of making a point did you take 11th grade english? they make you learn that for persuasive essays.

Do I respect other guys as well sure but in different ways like shaking hands when we meet (this stupid fist bumping crap has to go im pretty sure monkeys do this).

Yes, and it being in different ways is why you're a sexist.

Once again not harmful and shows how uptight you are Im kinda tired of pointing this out

My point is Sexism in and of itself would mean I feel superior to women and I don't neither do a lot of guys that do follow these traditions.

No, sexism is not defined by feeling superior, it is defined by discrimination.

By book definition yes by my definition no, and my definition is the one that actually causes harm to woman the book definition is nitpicky and quite frankly stupid.

 

[Please Ban Me I Have No Desire to Be Here]

So because I hold open a door for a woman or pull her chair out for her I'm sexist?

If you do it because she is a woman then it is certainly discriminatory and therefore sexist. Not hard, simple matter of definitions.


By book definition fine I very well may be but I view sexism as men whos demeaning view on woman actual hinders them not men who were simply raised to treat women (good women) with respect if you don't fine I can't tell you how to waste your time.

Your the type of person who would publicly go up to me and get in my face for holding open a door for a girl

No, I'm not for several reasons. First off, it's an out of proportion response. Secondly, it's not my job to go around telling people they're wrong on minor matters, if the girl dislikes it enough to warrant anything being said she could tell you herself. Thirdly, it isn't necessarily sexist because I do not know if that is how you treat everyone.

So tell me, did your parents teach you that a 'gentleman' is supposed to lie about others like that? Or is dishonesty something you picked up yourself? It sure makes you a shining example of courtesy and respect, lacking all integrity like that.

I love how you said its not your job to go around telling people there wrong on minor matters and yet before I came along I saw many posts by you complaining and throwing around the sexist insult on this thread and this matter is very minor so dishonesty isn't a word I would throw around if I were you. As for me lying assuming something about you to you directly isn't lying its making a educated guess as to what you would do based on your posts.

did it ever cross your PC mind that it might be a courtesy, nothing more?

You're replying to something you made up for me? That's kinda dumb. Did it ever cross your sexist and dishonorable mind that I never said that kind of thing?

again a statement based on an assumption based on an educated guess Im well aware you never said it directly

Of course not

Except that it did. Why do you consider lying to be something you have to do?

Why do you not know anything about lying?

well let me break it down for you

Go on, let's see you admit you're being sexist implicitly then deny the obvious implications.

I love how you assume the big words make you appear intelligent when really all they do is polish your flawed statements.

when I hold a door open a door for a girl its me doing nothing more than being respectful, I was raised to believe that woman and my elders were to be respected in this manner

Okay, so you were raised poorly. Namely, you were raised to be sexist. If you're not treating everyone the same way for such things then you're being sexist. Thinking that different standards of respect are called for is simply sexism. Not hard. Discrimination -> sexism.

Im sorry my harmless gestures of kindness offend you

its not meant to imply that the girl is weak or feeble

I don't care what it is meant to imply, treating them differently based on gender when it isn't warranted by any difference in ability is sexist.

Wow you care more than most woman not sure why

Im full aware she can open the damn door herself

Which is why it is quite unjustified to treat her any differently than you would a guy.

It doesn't have to be justified when its done in kindness and does no harm to anyone.

same goes for say protecting her in a fight

Ganging up with someone in a fight is good because they're right or are in trouble, not because of their gender. Doing it because of their gender is sexist.

I'd likely do the same for a friend as well I just feel a little extra fueled to protect my girlfriend again not hurting her its actually making her 50% more likely to not be hurt because she has someone backing her up.

am I saying my girl cant kick some ass no

Good thing I never said you said it.

Never once said that you did say it I was answering a possible question read a bit more carefully next time

in fact I've seen her do it BUT I dont want to see her get hurt out of love I'd do the same thing for say my child.

Not wanting to see someone get hurt out of love isn't sexist. But in that case it should have jack shit to do with their gender. Congratulations on bringing up a scenario I never spoke about. Was that a genuine mistake or was it you just showing off how a gentleman should lack integrity?

Their gender plays a lot into it for me because Im straight therefore if she wasn't a girl I probably wouldnt be in love with her and not want her to get hurt and coming up with a hypothetical scenario regardless of whether it was mentioned before is a way of making a point did you take 11th grade english? they make you learn that for persuasive essays.

Do I respect other guys as well sure but in different ways like shaking hands when we meet (this stupid fist bumping crap has to go im pretty sure monkeys do this).

Yes, and it being in different ways is why you're a sexist.

Once again not harmful and shows how uptight you are Im kinda tired of pointing this out

My point is Sexism in and of itself would mean I feel superior to women and I don't neither do a lot of guys that do follow these traditions.

No, sexism is not defined by feeling superior, it is defined by discrimination.

By book definition yes by my definition no, and my definition is the one that actually causes harm to woman the book definition is nitpicky and quite frankly stupid.

What profound reasoning. "My definition is better because the other one is stupid!".

No, I think your definition is just a way to cover yourself for your blatant sexism. It's simply unjustified discrimination, it doesn't need to be harmful. It's unjustified, that's enough of a problem for it. It's a clear cut case of injustice, simply on a minor level.

Its a nit picky definition that gives people like you grounds to complain of stupid petty crap. Theres a lot of things that are done in kindness that are unjustified, like you see someone fall and drop there stuff in the hall at school for example and you help them gather their things was it really justified no it didn't need to be done it was done simply to be kind which is exactly the kind of things Im talking about doing. You seem to thing these issues are worth addressing for god knows what reason.

 

[Please Ban Me I Have No Desire to Be Here]

So because I hold open a door for a woman or pull her chair out for her I'm sexist?

If you do it because she is a woman then it is certainly discriminatory and therefore sexist. Not hard, simple matter of definitions.


By book definition fine I very well may be but I view sexism as men whos demeaning view on woman actual hinders them not men who were simply raised to treat women (good women) with respect if you don't fine I can't tell you how to waste your time.

Your the type of person who would publicly go up to me and get in my face for holding open a door for a girl

No, I'm not for several reasons. First off, it's an out of proportion response. Secondly, it's not my job to go around telling people they're wrong on minor matters, if the girl dislikes it enough to warrant anything being said she could tell you herself. Thirdly, it isn't necessarily sexist because I do not know if that is how you treat everyone.

So tell me, did your parents teach you that a 'gentleman' is supposed to lie about others like that? Or is dishonesty something you picked up yourself? It sure makes you a shining example of courtesy and respect, lacking all integrity like that.

I love how you said its not your job to go around telling people there wrong on minor matters and yet before I came along I saw many posts by you complaining and throwing around the sexist insult on this thread and this matter is very minor so dishonesty isn't a word I would throw around if I were you. As for me lying assuming something about you to you directly isn't lying its making a educated guess as to what you would do based on your posts.

did it ever cross your PC mind that it might be a courtesy, nothing more?

You're replying to something you made up for me? That's kinda dumb. Did it ever cross your sexist and dishonorable mind that I never said that kind of thing?

again a statement based on an assumption based on an educated guess Im well aware you never said it directly

Of course not

Except that it did. Why do you consider lying to be something you have to do?

Why do you not know anything about lying?

well let me break it down for you

Go on, let's see you admit you're being sexist implicitly then deny the obvious implications.

I love how you assume the big words make you appear intelligent when really all they do is polish your flawed statements.

when I hold a door open a door for a girl its me doing nothing more than being respectful, I was raised to believe that woman and my elders were to be respected in this manner

Okay, so you were raised poorly. Namely, you were raised to be sexist. If you're not treating everyone the same way for such things then you're being sexist. Thinking that different standards of respect are called for is simply sexism. Not hard. Discrimination -> sexism.

Im sorry my harmless gestures of kindness offend you

its not meant to imply that the girl is weak or feeble

I don't care what it is meant to imply, treating them differently based on gender when it isn't warranted by any difference in ability is sexist.

Wow you care more than most woman not sure why

Im full aware she can open the damn door herself

Which is why it is quite unjustified to treat her any differently than you would a guy.

It doesn't have to be justified when its done in kindness and does no harm to anyone.

same goes for say protecting her in a fight

Ganging up with someone in a fight is good because they're right or are in trouble, not because of their gender. Doing it because of their gender is sexist.

I'd likely do the same for a friend as well I just feel a little extra fueled to protect my girlfriend again not hurting her its actually making her 50% more likely to not be hurt because she has someone backing her up.

am I saying my girl cant kick some ass no

Good thing I never said you said it.

Never once said that you did say it I was answering a possible question read a bit more carefully next time

in fact I've seen her do it BUT I dont want to see her get hurt out of love I'd do the same thing for say my child.

Not wanting to see someone get hurt out of love isn't sexist. But in that case it should have jack shit to do with their gender. Congratulations on bringing up a scenario I never spoke about. Was that a genuine mistake or was it you just showing off how a gentleman should lack integrity?

Their gender plays a lot into it for me because Im straight therefore if she wasn't a girl I probably wouldnt be in love with her and not want her to get hurt and coming up with a hypothetical scenario regardless of whether it was mentioned before is a way of making a point did you take 11th grade english? they make you learn that for persuasive essays.

Do I respect other guys as well sure but in different ways like shaking hands when we meet (this stupid fist bumping crap has to go im pretty sure monkeys do this).

Yes, and it being in different ways is why you're a sexist.

Once again not harmful and shows how uptight you are Im kinda tired of pointing this out

My point is Sexism in and of itself would mean I feel superior to women and I don't neither do a lot of guys that do follow these traditions.

No, sexism is not defined by feeling superior, it is defined by discrimination.

By book definition yes by my definition no, and my definition is the one that actually causes harm to woman the book definition is nitpicky and quite frankly stupid.

What profound reasoning. "My definition is better because the other one is stupid!".

No, I think your definition is just a way to cover yourself for your blatant sexism. It's simply unjustified discrimination, it doesn't need to be harmful. It's unjustified, that's enough of a problem for it. It's a clear cut case of injustice, simply on a minor level.

Its a nit picky definition that gives people like you grounds to complain of stupid petty crap.

Did they teach you in that 11th grade English class to actually back up your arguments instead of throwing around words like 'nitpicky'? Because I'm pretty sure I caught the hang of simply insulting things I didn't like back in kindergarten.

Theres a lot of things that are done in kindness that are unjustified, like you see someone fall and drop there stuff in the hall at school for example and you help them gather their things was it really justified

Fail. What's unjustified is treating people differently for an irrelevant reason like gender. Helping people is perfectly justified, it's when you discriminate that it is unjustified.

no it didn't need to be done it was done simply to be kind which is exactly the kind of things Im talking about doing.

Except you're talking about only doing it for women which is sexism. It is discrimination. The bit that is unjustified is the discrimination. This is not rocket science.

You seem to thing these issues are worth addressing for god knows what reason.

No reason to let people bury their heads in the sand and scream 'Tradition!" as an excuse to be sexist.

I still disagree with you but I don't care enough to keep this going I say we agree to disagree and move on because I'm sure our giant posts are clogging up this thread. You have the right to think what you will no matter how stupid I think it I can't change your mind so continuing this any further would be a waste of time.

 

[MrPeanut]

So, if you loved a girl and she loved you, but the one condition for you two to go out would be asking her father's permission, would you do it? The reason she wants you to do this is to show you have the courage to look after her, and she's looking for someone that can protect her and asking her father's permission proves this to her, would you do this?
I ask this 'cause when I asked my girlfriend out, I had to ask her father's permission and I did it cause she's worth it, but I was wondering how everyone else would come at this 'problem'. And what do you think about this 'ritual' or thing that some girl's want you to do?

Let's see.

First, this smells like blackmail, in which case the relationship would not work either way.

And second, I don't fancy a relationship where I have to act as a platemail for the girl.

 

[Everin]

Preach it brother, go! We must do whatever it takes to make that message heard, even if we need to use the Dark Arts.

It certainly is odd to start getting quotes and messages from a thing I posted over a year ago and this post pretty much sumed it up for me.

 

[manic_depressive13]

> make account to start argument about something someone said over a year ago
> lose argument
> Rage quit forum

This is possibly one of the best thread necros I've seen.

 

[DoPo]

> make account to start argument about something someone said over a year ago
> lose argument
> Rage quit forum

This is possibly one of the best thread necros I've seen.

Oh my god, I laughed so hard. I hadn't had a look at the thread since I posted and I didn't know the Lich King there returned. With his wrath. That was funny, also his other posts. If the Escapists was a building, he'd have just swooshed in and out giving everybody the finger on exit.

 

[Zen Toombs]

OP

This one only has an issue with the "I'll go out with you on one condition", ultimatums before dating has even started and all that.

I don't really mind talking to the parent's of my dates, especially when I was younger. It's reasonable for them to be informed about what's going on in their child's life, at least when they're pre-18.

However, just like when I'll ask my boy/girl's parents for permission to marry them[footnote]eventually[/footnote] it isn't so much "asking for permission", it is "asking for their blessing". I'll be civil about it, but I will date or marry their kid if I well please, thankye kindly.

Edit: Oh lordy, can you say thread necromancy?

 

[Zen Toombs]

> make account to start argument about something someone said over a year ago
> lose argument
> Rage quit forum

This is possibly one of the best thread necros I've seen.

snip

Props. Not many people have had a guy make a throwaway account created so that he could rage at them.

Ineptly, I might add, but rage he did.

 

[Auron225]

Considering I'm not a teenager anymore and its unlikely I'll be going out with anyone younger than 19 - Id find it awfully strange that SHE would want me to have to ask her dads permission just to go on a date. I mean, its different asking his permission to marry her - thats so much bigger. But just a date? Eh, it depends on the girl and if shes worth it but whatever the case Id question why I need to and why she needs permission. It seems a bit reminiscent of a time when women were considered a mans property. "Excuse me sir, could I borrow your daughter for an evening? We all know she's far too delicate and naive to make this decision all on her own".

EDIT: Just to be clear on the marriage thing - its more to show her father respect and Im really asking for his blessing rather than his permission. If she says yes but he says no then screw him.

EDIT 2: Holy crap, 500 posts! =D

EDIT 3: This thread is freaking old 0.0

 

[KingsGambit_v1legacy]

To marry her, yes I would ask. To date her, no I wouldn't. Seeking the father's blessing to marry is a centuries old tradition. Now it's more lip service and tradition than actually functional in most cultures, but marriage is still a life-altering transition. For a woman it's when the most important man in her life becomes her husband, not her father.

For a date it's no one's decision really. The parents will obviously influence/control her social life to a certain age but after that who she dates is her choice. Also, as others have said, if she's giving you a test to prove yourself, it's really quite strange and unnecessary. That's not what normal people do in normal, happy relationships. It's setting a dangerous precedent if you take part in her test.

 

[Colour Scientist]

It certainly is odd to start getting quotes and messages from a thing I posted over a year ago and this post pretty much sumed it up for me.

I think the question everyone wants to ask is are you still together?

 

[Everin]

I think the question everyone wants to ask is are you still together?

After around two years together, no we're not together, we had some problems and there was some long distance crap in the last month before she cheated on me. So not a happy ending there, haha.